Eyes Full of Darkness [9/?]
Title: Eyes Full of Darkness
Pairings: Nishin (Nishii Yukito/Akutsu Shintarou), Akutsu→Jun
Genre: AU
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3994
Summary: Yukito returns and all is well. For now.
Notes: Well if I'm only going to update this frivolous thing like, twice a year, ~4k is probably an acceptable number of words for that update to be T___T
←To Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
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Chapter 9: Invisible Truth, Invisible Lies
Rather than immediately betray them and send evil ninjas down to defeat them, Mitsuya pushed a button that illuminated the cylinder, clearly showing Yukito’s outline within. Well, that was one less thing to worry about. After a few more button presses, the liquid slowly began to drain out, until Akutsu was forced to realize that unlike anime, real life did not strictly censor itself by sticking to camera angles that kept you from seeing anything, a realization that came concurrent with the knowledge that Mitsuya, or whoever, had found it necessary to take all of Yukito’s clothes off before putting him in the tube. He didn’t really want to get friendly with Mitsuya, but discomfort won out and he sidled toward him awkwardly. “Hey, do you think you could get him a towel or his clothes or something for when he comes out?”
“Oh, of course.” He pushed another button and a shelf rolled out of an otherwise unmarked wall, not unlike the panels in Ikeoka’s office. The difference was that smoke came out of this one and it made a hissing sound as it came out, like it was being depressurized or something. Akutsu immediately leapt back and scrambled to get behind Jun, who had one hand on his little utility belt like he was ready to pull out an insta-grow katana or something. Mitsuya looked at them like they were insane. “It was just being ironed?”
Akutsu tiptoed closer after the smoke, or rather steam, had cleared out. He found Yukito’s assassin coat, mended, pressed, folded, and delightfully warm to the touch, as well as a black t-shirt like the one Akutsu had cut up earlier and some underwear and soft pajama pants. Well. At least Mitsuya was conscientious and realistic about Yukito’s clothing needs. Akutsu grabbed them all and set them down on an unblinking control panel near Yukito’s tube. Mitsuya tossed a towel at him as well, and if he didn’t manage to catch it, he at least managed not to flinch or scream either.
At last the tube emptied, leaving Yukito curled up at the bottom of it. The glass began to slide up and Akutsu hesitated for only a second before recognizing that it was his duty to comfort and clean Yukito, as well as get some pants on him. When there was enough room to duck under the rising glass, he did so and touched Yukito’s shoulder cautiously. “Hey. Yukito?”
His hand came away coated in whatever green and oily substance Yukito had been floating in, and he shuddered and wiped it on the towel. Yukito’s eyes opened suddenly, and Akutsu registered that his pupils were strangely long and narrow, almost reptilian, in the split second before he pushed him away. Akutsu staggered back, tripped over the raised metal edge at the bottom of the tube, and managed to smash his head against the still-rising glass for good measure. He half-rolled, half-fell out of the tube and tried to ignore Ikeoka and the others laughing at him. “Yukito,” he moaned, and when Yukito peered over the edge at him, his pupils had returned to normal.
Yukito smiled, the little dimple in his cheek showing, and Akutsu was just thinking how he really did have a soft spot for shota types after all when Yukito decided to leap on top of him.
He was very slimy. He was very naked. He also apparently felt the need to get even more naked by rubbing all the slimy stuff off on Akutsu.
“Shin-chan, you really came! You really saved me!” Akutsu was trying to pull the towel out from under him, but the best he could do was use the edge of it to block Yukito from rubbing his gooey face all over Akutsu’s. Of course he eventually used his super secret assassin skills to get around it anyway, and at that point Akutsu just gave up and lay flat on the floor until he stopped. “I love you, Shin-chan,” he said, and tugged at the towel.
Akutsu pulled it out of his hands and started trying to clean himself off. Mitsuya tossed another towel at Yukito, and he caught it without even looking. “I briefly loved you. Now I regret ever lifting a finger to help you.”
Yukito frowned, but immediately brightened. “No you don’t,” he said, and Akutsu sighed and shoved his now-disgusting towel into Yukito’s face.
“You’re right, I don’t. Now hurry up and clean up so you can put some clothes on.” In his admittedly naïve teenage years, he had never quite understood why all the protagonists in harem shows seemed so upset about having cute and usually underdressed girls fall on top of them on a regular basis. Now that he was one of them, all he felt was disgust, mostly because of the slime, but still. Yukito obediently climbed off and started cleaning himself, and Akutsu was able to get to his feet and stagger away.
He ended up near Mitsuya, who looked at him with honest pity in his eyes and handed him a third towel. “Has this happened to you too?” he asked, unable to get the right inflection in his voice to make it a proper question. The look in Mitsuya’s eyes told him that it had, and that Akutsu should consider himself lucky if it only happened to him once. Akutsu decided to cut him a little slack on the whole ‘betraying Yukito to hook up with a hot older guy’ thing. He spared a glance for Ikeoka and Jun, but they were both just smirking in his general direction. Akutsu sighed again and pulled out his phone. He thought about texting Shion, but realized that was the worst idea ever, and went for Shiramata instead. At least that way it would take a day or two for Shion to hear about it and stop all the AU plotting he was no doubt doing right this moment to jump straight to the unbelievably flowery bed scenes. “Boys are the worst,” he sent. He didn’t get a response, which didn’t surprise him. He figured either he had lost his phone again, as usual, or he had been kidnapped the way Shion, who always responded right away and hadn’t so much as sent an XD! in response to the news that Akutsu had found his perfect match, almost assuredly had been.
He put his phone away and surprised himself by going over to Yukito, who had everything but his coat on, and hugging him. “I really am glad you’re okay.” Yukito wriggled around and eventually hugged him back.
“Me too, Shin-chan. Really, thank you.”
Akutsu hung on until it started to get weird and then he immediately let go and made a super tsun face. “So can we get out of here already?” he asked Ikeoka, casting an unimpressed look at Mitsuya. Mitsuya had a tentative smile on his face, probably brought on by the one or two affection points Akutsu had gained with him when they bonded over weird naked Yukito, but now it disappeared and he scowled at him.
“You’re not going anywhere.” This time everyone tensed and got into a fighting pose, including Ikeoka, who had previously been playing with one of Jun’s belt loops while Jun tried not to giggle or blush too much. “Um, we still have negotiations to do?” Mitsuya looked at them like they were crazy again, which Akutsu thought was unfair, since even Mitsuya couldn’t be unaware that that line was only used by evil masterminds springing a trap on the unsuspecting protagonists, or alternatively by evil masterminds after they had tied the protagonists up and left them to be eaten by sharks or zapped by lasers or whatever. “The deal was that after we let you have Yukkii, we’d work out terms of what he would and wouldn’t be allowed to do, remember?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yukito said. “I can do whatever I want!”
Ikeoka held up a hand. “Yukito. I’m sure that what they don’t want you to do are things you don’t want to do anyway.” Yukito pouted and looked to Akutsu for sympathy.
“I mean, if we didn’t make that deal, you’d still be floating in the green goo and probably Jun and Mitsuya-senpai would have had to have a battle to the death, right? Isn’t this better?”
Yukito grumbled something that sounded like “Junjun would’ve won anyway” and kicked at the floor.
“Perhaps we might invite you to our headquarters to discuss those terms,” Ikeoka said pleasantly. “We would be happy to welcome Yamaguchi-san and show him around as well.”
Mitsuya seemed about to protest, but Jun cut in. “Of course, as one of our former employees, you’d already be familiar with the place. You’d know if we were trying to lead you into a trap, which is more than we can say right now.” He smiled rather nastily and Akutsu’s heart skipped a beat. Yukito looked at him curiously and he quickly composed himself before Yukito realized that he was no longer the only contender in the battle for Akutsu’s love. The longer everyone spent not realizing that everyone else was in love with him too, the better. That was, provided he could get Jun and the rest to fall for him.
In the moment it took Akutsu to decide that his first ploy in the Junjun Offensive would be to ascertain how deep his yandere roots ran by getting closer to Ikeoka, which had the added benefit of him getting closer to Ikeoka, Mitsuya had reached the conclusion that he was trapped. “All… right. Please let me consult with Kenki-sama.” He rushed out of the room, leaving the four of them standing there awkwardly.
“So should we, like, snoop around and see if we can dig up any incriminating documents or search for hidden passageways or expose their secrets?” Akutsu asked eventually.
“Oh, good thinking,” Ikeoka said. “Jun, would you take a look at that ironing compartment and see if you can figure out how it works? I’d feel bad making you keep doing it all by hand if there’s a better way.” Jun nodded and approached the shelf, examining it from various angles.
“No, I mean like hacking the computer and looking for secret files with their plans to take over the world, or cool weapons we can steal. Not ironing.”
“But we already have a bunch of cool weapons and plans to take over the world. We don't have a convenient automated clothes press. I mean, we still have to use the dry-cleaners across the street, for goodness sakes. This is the technology we need.” Before Akutsu could argue more, or maybe just tell him that he was the worst world-controlling boss guy ever, Ikeoka tugged at his shirt, pulling him down and forward so he could whisper in his ear. “And if we don't look through their things, they won't look through ours.” Akutsu was glad he hadn't told him he was the worst. He was probably still, like, the 15th worst, since unfortunately the scale couldn't take attractiveness into account, but not The Worst.
Yukito had been stretching, and now he gestured for Akutsu and Ikeoka to move back. Starting from a position by Jun, who was examining the ironing thing very seriously, he took off at a run and launched into a complicated series of flips that spanned the room. He didn't stop until it looked like he was planning to crash into them, so Akutsu bravely stepped in front of Ikeoka to protect him. Yukito did stop, but he stumbled slightly on the landing and his forward momentum carried him into Akutsu's arms. Akutsu thought that he had probably just unlocked a CG. Yukito grinned up at him. “Thanks!”
“Sure. So did that green goop heal you up or what?”
“Yeah, how'd you know?” Yukito rolled up the bottom of his t-shirt to show him that the wound in his side had closed over, with only a long red line showing where it had been. Akutsu wondered why he hadn't noticed that earlier, then remembered why he hadn't and vowed to get it together and not get distracted by casual male nudity again. “I'm not at 100%, but I'm definitely ready to get back to work!” He shot a glare at Ikeoka. “If Ikeoka-sama lets me, anyway.” Ikeoka just smiled rather distantly.
Jun marched over and saluted. “I believe I have it figured out, Ikeoka-san. I'll alert the staff when we return and get production started.”
“Thank you, Jun. You're wonderful.”
While Jun was busy blushing over the compliment, Yukito pulled on a pocket on his belt. He showed Akutsu what he had taken, four round things that looked like small pebbles but were probably like nuclear bombs or something. Jun frowned, but didn't seem too distressed that he had taken these things and went back to telling a seemingly enthralled Ikeoka everything he had discovered about their hyper-advanced clothes pressing technology.
Akutsu sighed. “When we get back and they finish banning you from murdering randoms in cold blood and blowing up skyscrapers and trying to date Kenki-sama or whatever, you seriously have got to explain everything to me.”
“Poor Shin-chan. Don't worry, I will, even if they try to stop me.” Yukito's hand slipped into his and squeezed. Akutsu's heart went kyun a little bit but fortunately Mitsuya returned just then so he didn't have to do anything about that just yet.
“While we really do wish to accept your offer, Kamitsuru-sama is insisting that he meet with us immediately,” Mitsuya said, looking apologetic and the slightest bit irritated.
“What, are you serious?” Ikeoka pulled out a phone and punched a number. “Oi, Kamitsuru. What's more important than us talking about Yukito?” He listened. “Okay, but right now, seriously? ...Fine, whatever. Bye.” He stuck his phone back inside his pajamas and groaned loudly. “You know what he wants, right?” Mitsuya nodded, pursing his lips. “Well, when 'negotiations' wrap up, you guys can swing by our place and we'll take care of you. Seriously. We are all allies against Kamitsuru when he gets like this.”
“Thank you,” Mitsuya said. He hung his head. “I'll see you guys later.”
Yukito hesitated, then let go of Akutsu's hand and ran over to give him a hug. “Bye-bye, Micchan. Thanks for healing me and not hurting Shin-chan.”
He ran back and they left the way they had come, Jun leading the way while Yukito pushed Ikeoka's wheelchair. They started arguing over whether Yukito would be allowed to go back to Akutsu's house or not. Akutsu saw his opportunity and sneaked up next to Jun. “Hey. So that wasn't so bad, huh? I guess you didn't have to fight Mitsuya-senpai. Or are you disappointed?”
“I'm not disappointed, but I can't say I'm happy either. I still need to make sure he knows that it was unacceptable for him to betray Ikeoka-san. And... Sometimes fighting is the easiest way.”
Akutsu nodded. “Last spring season, Shion and Mata and I kept arguing nonstop about who got to use the tv on Saturday at 11 pm. They were happy to let me have it once I used the Akutsu Flying Tackle on them.”
“Is that your special attack? The Akutsu Flying Tackle?”
“Sure. I can show you when we get back. You can even try doing it on me if you want,” Akutsu said in a really cool and serious way, and then giggled imagining Jun leaping on top of him, pinning him to the ground, maybe raking a hand through his hair possessively... heck, he wouldn't mind even if he settled for a vicious noogie the likes of which Akutsu had used on his housemates.
“Okay,” Jun said, in the kind of tone that made it clear he would not be making use of the Akutsu Flying Tackle in any future combat maneuvers. Since the direct approach hadn't worked, Akutsu cast around for a new angle.
“Ssssoooo, uh, well.” He glanced back to see that Ikeoka was ignoring Yukito in much the way Jun was now trying to ignore him, albeit more successfully. That gave him hope - and an idea. “I don't wanna pry or anything, but since it seems like I'm kinda maybe working for you guys now, maybe you could tell me a bit about Ikeoka-sama? Like, I'd ask Yukito but I'm pretty sure he'd just tell me how he was the meanest ever for not letting him stay up all night playing games or... I dunno, trying to sneak a bucket full of cats into headquarters, so.”
“He told you about that?”
“What? Oh, I mean yeah, totally.”
“Yukito is a good kid, but he's...” Jun frowned, his perfectly-shaped lips turning downward and his cheeks puffing out ever so slightly. Akutsu refrained from giggling this time and instead spent his energy saving every facet of the expression for future reference. “And Ikeoka is... the best boss you could ask for, really, but... he sometimes pushes himself more than he should. He's the hardest worker out of all of us, and he runs himself ragged sometimes. Right now he can hardly take care of himself at all. He-” Jun broke off, and after a minute, said, “He needs me.”
Akutsu could hardly believe it. A breakthrough, this early? He hadn't expected to hear that dere-dere tone in Jun's voice until practically the end of the route, unless he accidentally wandered into another shipbait scene during the interval. Granted, it was still about Ikeoka and not him, but really, didn't Ikeoka deserve it, after all he went through for his beloved subordinates? Yes. He did. He absolutely deserved the love and respect and willingness to chop at least two dozen mooks' heads off for so much as looking at him funny that only Jun could give him. And he deserved more. He deserved the chance to learn the kinds of important things about the outside world that Akutsu could provide him with, and the kind of blind support that only someone like Akutsu who had absolutely no clue what was going on could pledge to him, and maybe if he was super stressed out from a tough day on the job and wasn't feeling up to it himself, well... maybe he deserved the chance to sit back and watch Akutsu give his equally deserving and hard-working main assassin all the love he had to offer. “Harem ending,” Akutsu whispered to himself, tightening his hand into a fist and vowing to make it a reality.
“What?”
“Oh, I said... he really must... ing. Er. Must need you, that is.” Akutsu raised a hand to touch Jun's shoulder, but judged the moment wasn't right and lowered it again. “I know I'm just some random kid who showed up all of a sudden and got you into this mess today, but... if you ever need help. If there's anything I can do to help either of you, just let me know. I mean it. I can't do much, but... you guys really did help me out today, and I want to repay that kindness as best I can.” He contrived to make their shoulders bump ever so slightly together and was happy when Jun only startled ever so slightly and didn't pull a gun on him or anything.
“Well, there might be one thing you can do...” Jun said, his dark eyelashes flitting briefly down before his eyes reopened and Akutsu found himself falling into those deep dark orbs all over again. “When we get back...”
“Just say the word.”
Which was how, upon returning to Ryuugo, Akutsu found himself attempting to clean Yukito's very messy and kind of smelly room while the other three went to discuss cool assassin secrets and probably murder some random people just because they could. Typical. After a few hours, at which point Akutsu had failed to turn up anything useful or interesting, and was mostly just pretending to organize the closet in order to avoid a highly suspicious stain he had recently uncovered, Yukito ran in and flung himself on the bed. He didn't seem to notice or appreciate that the bed was now covered by clean sheets and not three layers of dirty laundry. Akutsu left the closet. “You okay?”
Yukito groaned. He rolled over and Akutsu quickly took a step back so he couldn't grab him and pull him onto the bed with him. “At least you're still here. Ikeoka-sama and Jun were yelling at me for dragging you into this and telling you all these things, but I couldn't help it, right?”
“Right. Hey, you know what would serve them right for yelling at you like that?”
“Cyanide poisoning,” Yukito said grimly.
“What? No. What?”
“Not enough to kill them, just enough to make them have to spend the rest of the day throwing up. We've all built up a resistance to it, anyway.”
“Okay, um, how about we don't do that and instead you start filling me in on how this whole system works, who I should be watching out for, and that sort of thing?”
Yukito frowned and rolled up into a sitting position. “Oh yeah.” He gestured for Akutsu to take a seat next to him. “So... there's all of us, and then... there's the other ones and they probably all hate us, but they might hate each other more... um... I guess these names won't mean anything to you probably, but there's Yamaguchi-sama, of course, and Kamitsuru-sama, Jinnai-sama, and... wait, who's the other one? He's new... Oh, Negishi-sama. He was in training with me for a bit but then the old family adopted him in. Then they all got killed so he got promoted.”
“You can be promoted from an assassin to a boss?”
“Sure. The families put their kids through training too, mostly, but... our training is tough, so accidents happen, even to the ones they care about keeping alive. And you don't tend to live all that long in this business anyway.”
Akutsu winced. He thought about doing something to show Yukito that he supported him despite his rough childhood, but then decided it would probably end up too romantic and refrained.
“Um... ugh. I don't know! There's too much stuff! I don't know what to say.” Yukito hit his leg. Then he hit Akutsu, who glared at him.
“It's not my fault I don't know anything and nobody else wants to tell me! Just... start with Safeties or whatever. Maybe then I'll know what to ask you about next.”
“Oh.” Yukito quieted down significantly. He took Akutsu's hand and turned it palm-up, tracing the lines on it as if there was some meaning in them. Which there probably was, but Akutsu highly doubted that palm-reading was an Essential Assassin Skill. “So... normally people like me, we have safehouses, like if something happens like when I got shot. It's mostly people who were in this business but managed to retire, kids that got too hurt during training and never got employed, things like that. That's what we normally call Safeties.”
“But I'm special.”
“Yeah. Or I am.” Yukito lifted his shirt to show off the massive, plot-relevant scar crossing his chest, in case Akutsu had forgotten about it. “They put something in me that could destroy... everything. But I can't. I won't. Because of you.”
Something flickered in the back of Akutsu's mind, like the beginning of a distant memory. It was probably going to keep doing that for at least the next five episodes or so or until he figured it out properly or got the right stimulus to help him recall all of his tragic past, so that was annoying. On the plus side, at least he had a tragic past now. “So I'm not a safehouse. I'm the safety on a gun.”
Yukito nodded. “And if someone takes it off... if someone kills you? I'm ready to fire.”
Pairings: Nishin (Nishii Yukito/Akutsu Shintarou), Akutsu→Jun
Genre: AU
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3994
Summary: Yukito returns and all is well. For now.
Notes: Well if I'm only going to update this frivolous thing like, twice a year, ~4k is probably an acceptable number of words for that update to be T___T
←To Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
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Chapter 9: Invisible Truth, Invisible Lies
Rather than immediately betray them and send evil ninjas down to defeat them, Mitsuya pushed a button that illuminated the cylinder, clearly showing Yukito’s outline within. Well, that was one less thing to worry about. After a few more button presses, the liquid slowly began to drain out, until Akutsu was forced to realize that unlike anime, real life did not strictly censor itself by sticking to camera angles that kept you from seeing anything, a realization that came concurrent with the knowledge that Mitsuya, or whoever, had found it necessary to take all of Yukito’s clothes off before putting him in the tube. He didn’t really want to get friendly with Mitsuya, but discomfort won out and he sidled toward him awkwardly. “Hey, do you think you could get him a towel or his clothes or something for when he comes out?”
“Oh, of course.” He pushed another button and a shelf rolled out of an otherwise unmarked wall, not unlike the panels in Ikeoka’s office. The difference was that smoke came out of this one and it made a hissing sound as it came out, like it was being depressurized or something. Akutsu immediately leapt back and scrambled to get behind Jun, who had one hand on his little utility belt like he was ready to pull out an insta-grow katana or something. Mitsuya looked at them like they were insane. “It was just being ironed?”
Akutsu tiptoed closer after the smoke, or rather steam, had cleared out. He found Yukito’s assassin coat, mended, pressed, folded, and delightfully warm to the touch, as well as a black t-shirt like the one Akutsu had cut up earlier and some underwear and soft pajama pants. Well. At least Mitsuya was conscientious and realistic about Yukito’s clothing needs. Akutsu grabbed them all and set them down on an unblinking control panel near Yukito’s tube. Mitsuya tossed a towel at him as well, and if he didn’t manage to catch it, he at least managed not to flinch or scream either.
At last the tube emptied, leaving Yukito curled up at the bottom of it. The glass began to slide up and Akutsu hesitated for only a second before recognizing that it was his duty to comfort and clean Yukito, as well as get some pants on him. When there was enough room to duck under the rising glass, he did so and touched Yukito’s shoulder cautiously. “Hey. Yukito?”
His hand came away coated in whatever green and oily substance Yukito had been floating in, and he shuddered and wiped it on the towel. Yukito’s eyes opened suddenly, and Akutsu registered that his pupils were strangely long and narrow, almost reptilian, in the split second before he pushed him away. Akutsu staggered back, tripped over the raised metal edge at the bottom of the tube, and managed to smash his head against the still-rising glass for good measure. He half-rolled, half-fell out of the tube and tried to ignore Ikeoka and the others laughing at him. “Yukito,” he moaned, and when Yukito peered over the edge at him, his pupils had returned to normal.
Yukito smiled, the little dimple in his cheek showing, and Akutsu was just thinking how he really did have a soft spot for shota types after all when Yukito decided to leap on top of him.
He was very slimy. He was very naked. He also apparently felt the need to get even more naked by rubbing all the slimy stuff off on Akutsu.
“Shin-chan, you really came! You really saved me!” Akutsu was trying to pull the towel out from under him, but the best he could do was use the edge of it to block Yukito from rubbing his gooey face all over Akutsu’s. Of course he eventually used his super secret assassin skills to get around it anyway, and at that point Akutsu just gave up and lay flat on the floor until he stopped. “I love you, Shin-chan,” he said, and tugged at the towel.
Akutsu pulled it out of his hands and started trying to clean himself off. Mitsuya tossed another towel at Yukito, and he caught it without even looking. “I briefly loved you. Now I regret ever lifting a finger to help you.”
Yukito frowned, but immediately brightened. “No you don’t,” he said, and Akutsu sighed and shoved his now-disgusting towel into Yukito’s face.
“You’re right, I don’t. Now hurry up and clean up so you can put some clothes on.” In his admittedly naïve teenage years, he had never quite understood why all the protagonists in harem shows seemed so upset about having cute and usually underdressed girls fall on top of them on a regular basis. Now that he was one of them, all he felt was disgust, mostly because of the slime, but still. Yukito obediently climbed off and started cleaning himself, and Akutsu was able to get to his feet and stagger away.
He ended up near Mitsuya, who looked at him with honest pity in his eyes and handed him a third towel. “Has this happened to you too?” he asked, unable to get the right inflection in his voice to make it a proper question. The look in Mitsuya’s eyes told him that it had, and that Akutsu should consider himself lucky if it only happened to him once. Akutsu decided to cut him a little slack on the whole ‘betraying Yukito to hook up with a hot older guy’ thing. He spared a glance for Ikeoka and Jun, but they were both just smirking in his general direction. Akutsu sighed again and pulled out his phone. He thought about texting Shion, but realized that was the worst idea ever, and went for Shiramata instead. At least that way it would take a day or two for Shion to hear about it and stop all the AU plotting he was no doubt doing right this moment to jump straight to the unbelievably flowery bed scenes. “Boys are the worst,” he sent. He didn’t get a response, which didn’t surprise him. He figured either he had lost his phone again, as usual, or he had been kidnapped the way Shion, who always responded right away and hadn’t so much as sent an XD! in response to the news that Akutsu had found his perfect match, almost assuredly had been.
He put his phone away and surprised himself by going over to Yukito, who had everything but his coat on, and hugging him. “I really am glad you’re okay.” Yukito wriggled around and eventually hugged him back.
“Me too, Shin-chan. Really, thank you.”
Akutsu hung on until it started to get weird and then he immediately let go and made a super tsun face. “So can we get out of here already?” he asked Ikeoka, casting an unimpressed look at Mitsuya. Mitsuya had a tentative smile on his face, probably brought on by the one or two affection points Akutsu had gained with him when they bonded over weird naked Yukito, but now it disappeared and he scowled at him.
“You’re not going anywhere.” This time everyone tensed and got into a fighting pose, including Ikeoka, who had previously been playing with one of Jun’s belt loops while Jun tried not to giggle or blush too much. “Um, we still have negotiations to do?” Mitsuya looked at them like they were crazy again, which Akutsu thought was unfair, since even Mitsuya couldn’t be unaware that that line was only used by evil masterminds springing a trap on the unsuspecting protagonists, or alternatively by evil masterminds after they had tied the protagonists up and left them to be eaten by sharks or zapped by lasers or whatever. “The deal was that after we let you have Yukkii, we’d work out terms of what he would and wouldn’t be allowed to do, remember?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yukito said. “I can do whatever I want!”
Ikeoka held up a hand. “Yukito. I’m sure that what they don’t want you to do are things you don’t want to do anyway.” Yukito pouted and looked to Akutsu for sympathy.
“I mean, if we didn’t make that deal, you’d still be floating in the green goo and probably Jun and Mitsuya-senpai would have had to have a battle to the death, right? Isn’t this better?”
Yukito grumbled something that sounded like “Junjun would’ve won anyway” and kicked at the floor.
“Perhaps we might invite you to our headquarters to discuss those terms,” Ikeoka said pleasantly. “We would be happy to welcome Yamaguchi-san and show him around as well.”
Mitsuya seemed about to protest, but Jun cut in. “Of course, as one of our former employees, you’d already be familiar with the place. You’d know if we were trying to lead you into a trap, which is more than we can say right now.” He smiled rather nastily and Akutsu’s heart skipped a beat. Yukito looked at him curiously and he quickly composed himself before Yukito realized that he was no longer the only contender in the battle for Akutsu’s love. The longer everyone spent not realizing that everyone else was in love with him too, the better. That was, provided he could get Jun and the rest to fall for him.
In the moment it took Akutsu to decide that his first ploy in the Junjun Offensive would be to ascertain how deep his yandere roots ran by getting closer to Ikeoka, which had the added benefit of him getting closer to Ikeoka, Mitsuya had reached the conclusion that he was trapped. “All… right. Please let me consult with Kenki-sama.” He rushed out of the room, leaving the four of them standing there awkwardly.
“So should we, like, snoop around and see if we can dig up any incriminating documents or search for hidden passageways or expose their secrets?” Akutsu asked eventually.
“Oh, good thinking,” Ikeoka said. “Jun, would you take a look at that ironing compartment and see if you can figure out how it works? I’d feel bad making you keep doing it all by hand if there’s a better way.” Jun nodded and approached the shelf, examining it from various angles.
“No, I mean like hacking the computer and looking for secret files with their plans to take over the world, or cool weapons we can steal. Not ironing.”
“But we already have a bunch of cool weapons and plans to take over the world. We don't have a convenient automated clothes press. I mean, we still have to use the dry-cleaners across the street, for goodness sakes. This is the technology we need.” Before Akutsu could argue more, or maybe just tell him that he was the worst world-controlling boss guy ever, Ikeoka tugged at his shirt, pulling him down and forward so he could whisper in his ear. “And if we don't look through their things, they won't look through ours.” Akutsu was glad he hadn't told him he was the worst. He was probably still, like, the 15th worst, since unfortunately the scale couldn't take attractiveness into account, but not The Worst.
Yukito had been stretching, and now he gestured for Akutsu and Ikeoka to move back. Starting from a position by Jun, who was examining the ironing thing very seriously, he took off at a run and launched into a complicated series of flips that spanned the room. He didn't stop until it looked like he was planning to crash into them, so Akutsu bravely stepped in front of Ikeoka to protect him. Yukito did stop, but he stumbled slightly on the landing and his forward momentum carried him into Akutsu's arms. Akutsu thought that he had probably just unlocked a CG. Yukito grinned up at him. “Thanks!”
“Sure. So did that green goop heal you up or what?”
“Yeah, how'd you know?” Yukito rolled up the bottom of his t-shirt to show him that the wound in his side had closed over, with only a long red line showing where it had been. Akutsu wondered why he hadn't noticed that earlier, then remembered why he hadn't and vowed to get it together and not get distracted by casual male nudity again. “I'm not at 100%, but I'm definitely ready to get back to work!” He shot a glare at Ikeoka. “If Ikeoka-sama lets me, anyway.” Ikeoka just smiled rather distantly.
Jun marched over and saluted. “I believe I have it figured out, Ikeoka-san. I'll alert the staff when we return and get production started.”
“Thank you, Jun. You're wonderful.”
While Jun was busy blushing over the compliment, Yukito pulled on a pocket on his belt. He showed Akutsu what he had taken, four round things that looked like small pebbles but were probably like nuclear bombs or something. Jun frowned, but didn't seem too distressed that he had taken these things and went back to telling a seemingly enthralled Ikeoka everything he had discovered about their hyper-advanced clothes pressing technology.
Akutsu sighed. “When we get back and they finish banning you from murdering randoms in cold blood and blowing up skyscrapers and trying to date Kenki-sama or whatever, you seriously have got to explain everything to me.”
“Poor Shin-chan. Don't worry, I will, even if they try to stop me.” Yukito's hand slipped into his and squeezed. Akutsu's heart went kyun a little bit but fortunately Mitsuya returned just then so he didn't have to do anything about that just yet.
“While we really do wish to accept your offer, Kamitsuru-sama is insisting that he meet with us immediately,” Mitsuya said, looking apologetic and the slightest bit irritated.
“What, are you serious?” Ikeoka pulled out a phone and punched a number. “Oi, Kamitsuru. What's more important than us talking about Yukito?” He listened. “Okay, but right now, seriously? ...Fine, whatever. Bye.” He stuck his phone back inside his pajamas and groaned loudly. “You know what he wants, right?” Mitsuya nodded, pursing his lips. “Well, when 'negotiations' wrap up, you guys can swing by our place and we'll take care of you. Seriously. We are all allies against Kamitsuru when he gets like this.”
“Thank you,” Mitsuya said. He hung his head. “I'll see you guys later.”
Yukito hesitated, then let go of Akutsu's hand and ran over to give him a hug. “Bye-bye, Micchan. Thanks for healing me and not hurting Shin-chan.”
He ran back and they left the way they had come, Jun leading the way while Yukito pushed Ikeoka's wheelchair. They started arguing over whether Yukito would be allowed to go back to Akutsu's house or not. Akutsu saw his opportunity and sneaked up next to Jun. “Hey. So that wasn't so bad, huh? I guess you didn't have to fight Mitsuya-senpai. Or are you disappointed?”
“I'm not disappointed, but I can't say I'm happy either. I still need to make sure he knows that it was unacceptable for him to betray Ikeoka-san. And... Sometimes fighting is the easiest way.”
Akutsu nodded. “Last spring season, Shion and Mata and I kept arguing nonstop about who got to use the tv on Saturday at 11 pm. They were happy to let me have it once I used the Akutsu Flying Tackle on them.”
“Is that your special attack? The Akutsu Flying Tackle?”
“Sure. I can show you when we get back. You can even try doing it on me if you want,” Akutsu said in a really cool and serious way, and then giggled imagining Jun leaping on top of him, pinning him to the ground, maybe raking a hand through his hair possessively... heck, he wouldn't mind even if he settled for a vicious noogie the likes of which Akutsu had used on his housemates.
“Okay,” Jun said, in the kind of tone that made it clear he would not be making use of the Akutsu Flying Tackle in any future combat maneuvers. Since the direct approach hadn't worked, Akutsu cast around for a new angle.
“Ssssoooo, uh, well.” He glanced back to see that Ikeoka was ignoring Yukito in much the way Jun was now trying to ignore him, albeit more successfully. That gave him hope - and an idea. “I don't wanna pry or anything, but since it seems like I'm kinda maybe working for you guys now, maybe you could tell me a bit about Ikeoka-sama? Like, I'd ask Yukito but I'm pretty sure he'd just tell me how he was the meanest ever for not letting him stay up all night playing games or... I dunno, trying to sneak a bucket full of cats into headquarters, so.”
“He told you about that?”
“What? Oh, I mean yeah, totally.”
“Yukito is a good kid, but he's...” Jun frowned, his perfectly-shaped lips turning downward and his cheeks puffing out ever so slightly. Akutsu refrained from giggling this time and instead spent his energy saving every facet of the expression for future reference. “And Ikeoka is... the best boss you could ask for, really, but... he sometimes pushes himself more than he should. He's the hardest worker out of all of us, and he runs himself ragged sometimes. Right now he can hardly take care of himself at all. He-” Jun broke off, and after a minute, said, “He needs me.”
Akutsu could hardly believe it. A breakthrough, this early? He hadn't expected to hear that dere-dere tone in Jun's voice until practically the end of the route, unless he accidentally wandered into another shipbait scene during the interval. Granted, it was still about Ikeoka and not him, but really, didn't Ikeoka deserve it, after all he went through for his beloved subordinates? Yes. He did. He absolutely deserved the love and respect and willingness to chop at least two dozen mooks' heads off for so much as looking at him funny that only Jun could give him. And he deserved more. He deserved the chance to learn the kinds of important things about the outside world that Akutsu could provide him with, and the kind of blind support that only someone like Akutsu who had absolutely no clue what was going on could pledge to him, and maybe if he was super stressed out from a tough day on the job and wasn't feeling up to it himself, well... maybe he deserved the chance to sit back and watch Akutsu give his equally deserving and hard-working main assassin all the love he had to offer. “Harem ending,” Akutsu whispered to himself, tightening his hand into a fist and vowing to make it a reality.
“What?”
“Oh, I said... he really must... ing. Er. Must need you, that is.” Akutsu raised a hand to touch Jun's shoulder, but judged the moment wasn't right and lowered it again. “I know I'm just some random kid who showed up all of a sudden and got you into this mess today, but... if you ever need help. If there's anything I can do to help either of you, just let me know. I mean it. I can't do much, but... you guys really did help me out today, and I want to repay that kindness as best I can.” He contrived to make their shoulders bump ever so slightly together and was happy when Jun only startled ever so slightly and didn't pull a gun on him or anything.
“Well, there might be one thing you can do...” Jun said, his dark eyelashes flitting briefly down before his eyes reopened and Akutsu found himself falling into those deep dark orbs all over again. “When we get back...”
“Just say the word.”
Which was how, upon returning to Ryuugo, Akutsu found himself attempting to clean Yukito's very messy and kind of smelly room while the other three went to discuss cool assassin secrets and probably murder some random people just because they could. Typical. After a few hours, at which point Akutsu had failed to turn up anything useful or interesting, and was mostly just pretending to organize the closet in order to avoid a highly suspicious stain he had recently uncovered, Yukito ran in and flung himself on the bed. He didn't seem to notice or appreciate that the bed was now covered by clean sheets and not three layers of dirty laundry. Akutsu left the closet. “You okay?”
Yukito groaned. He rolled over and Akutsu quickly took a step back so he couldn't grab him and pull him onto the bed with him. “At least you're still here. Ikeoka-sama and Jun were yelling at me for dragging you into this and telling you all these things, but I couldn't help it, right?”
“Right. Hey, you know what would serve them right for yelling at you like that?”
“Cyanide poisoning,” Yukito said grimly.
“What? No. What?”
“Not enough to kill them, just enough to make them have to spend the rest of the day throwing up. We've all built up a resistance to it, anyway.”
“Okay, um, how about we don't do that and instead you start filling me in on how this whole system works, who I should be watching out for, and that sort of thing?”
Yukito frowned and rolled up into a sitting position. “Oh yeah.” He gestured for Akutsu to take a seat next to him. “So... there's all of us, and then... there's the other ones and they probably all hate us, but they might hate each other more... um... I guess these names won't mean anything to you probably, but there's Yamaguchi-sama, of course, and Kamitsuru-sama, Jinnai-sama, and... wait, who's the other one? He's new... Oh, Negishi-sama. He was in training with me for a bit but then the old family adopted him in. Then they all got killed so he got promoted.”
“You can be promoted from an assassin to a boss?”
“Sure. The families put their kids through training too, mostly, but... our training is tough, so accidents happen, even to the ones they care about keeping alive. And you don't tend to live all that long in this business anyway.”
Akutsu winced. He thought about doing something to show Yukito that he supported him despite his rough childhood, but then decided it would probably end up too romantic and refrained.
“Um... ugh. I don't know! There's too much stuff! I don't know what to say.” Yukito hit his leg. Then he hit Akutsu, who glared at him.
“It's not my fault I don't know anything and nobody else wants to tell me! Just... start with Safeties or whatever. Maybe then I'll know what to ask you about next.”
“Oh.” Yukito quieted down significantly. He took Akutsu's hand and turned it palm-up, tracing the lines on it as if there was some meaning in them. Which there probably was, but Akutsu highly doubted that palm-reading was an Essential Assassin Skill. “So... normally people like me, we have safehouses, like if something happens like when I got shot. It's mostly people who were in this business but managed to retire, kids that got too hurt during training and never got employed, things like that. That's what we normally call Safeties.”
“But I'm special.”
“Yeah. Or I am.” Yukito lifted his shirt to show off the massive, plot-relevant scar crossing his chest, in case Akutsu had forgotten about it. “They put something in me that could destroy... everything. But I can't. I won't. Because of you.”
Something flickered in the back of Akutsu's mind, like the beginning of a distant memory. It was probably going to keep doing that for at least the next five episodes or so or until he figured it out properly or got the right stimulus to help him recall all of his tragic past, so that was annoying. On the plus side, at least he had a tragic past now. “So I'm not a safehouse. I'm the safety on a gun.”
Yukito nodded. “And if someone takes it off... if someone kills you? I'm ready to fire.”