i almost think that valentine's day is easier for me.  i've never known what it's like to have someone look at you like you are the most precious thing in the world.  i've never had someone cuddle in behind me and wrap their arm over my waist and tickle my stomach as we watch a movie.  i've never had a kiss.  i've never felt someone run their ( Read more... )

Title:  two months
Characters/Pairings:  Castle/Beckett
Summary:  "What if you stayed this time?"
Rating:  PG-13
Spoilers:  All aired US episodes.

( Read more... )

the storm knocked out my internet and cable an hour ago. since then, i have gotten all of my drama reading done for monday and have started in on my victorian lit stuff for tuesday.

i may hate winter and the cold and the snow that it brings and i may dislike the fact that i can no longer spend the night watching west wing but i do appreciate that i ( Read more... )

i should be writing lit responses for tomorrow or sleeping because i haven't slept well in four days and i'm starting to get loopy with the exhaustion but i've decided to address something here.  (where only a few people ever visit because i kinda like having a "secret" journal where i can spill my feelings.  but might post this on tumblr tomorrow ( Read more... )

Title:  you have gone
Characters/Pairings:  Castle/Beckett
Summary:  All she leaves is a note.
Rating:  PG-13
Spoilers:  All aired US episodes.

( He keeps waiting. )

back at school.  i already feel more emotionally stable.  and i cannot wait to sleep in my bed here because it's warm and comfortable and a full-sized bed instead of my twin at home.  plus, i brought my suffed bo and chaucer, my bear from borders who wears a scarf and is basically me in teddy bear form, so i'll have someone to cuddle with when i'm ( Read more... )

I'm feeling better.  Therapist e-mailed back with a list of breathing exercises and a few other suggestions to fight my anxiety attacks.  I have the best friends in the entire internet who make me cry with lovely messages of support and make me feel less alone.  I've accepted that my brain is taking a break in writing and am trying not to let that ( Read more... )

I might be going to Disney in May.  With internet friends.  Not all of the ones I consistently hang out with (one can't make the dates, the other doesn't have the money) but still pretty excited.  Because WDW is basically my second home without a single lie.  I've been incredibly blessed to have been born into a family of Disney fanatics.  We've ( Read more... )

Title:  there should be stars - epilogue (30/30)
Characters/Pairings:  Castle/Beckett
Summary:  Four years can make a world of difference.  AU.
Rating:  NC-17
Spoilers:  Up to Season Four finale.

( There’s a gentle weight on her chest, compressing the air out of her lungs. )

Mom's work friend has a cousin (or something) who lives in NYC and has contacts in the publishing industry.  He's apparently willing to drop my name to some of those friends.  But I'm too afraid to even message this guy to start the ball rolling.  Which sucks because publishing is what I want to do and I can't even tug this little string to get ( Read more... )