Ickiness... and Yeah!
It's funny when things fall apart sometimes, because usually you notice when their just starting or when it's too late. I saw it all right before it crashed down, I knew it was coming and there wasn't much I could do about it. Thursday evening at 11:35p.m. my grandmother passed away. She had all of her children with her as far as I'm aware but neither my cousin, who told me everything, nor I have seen her in 5 years. At first it really didn't hit me, but then when I started talking to my cousin it did. I cried for about 5 minutes because we hadn't been there to say goodbye, then I calmed down and went back to doing work and just sort of put it in the back of my mind. I texted Eric first, then I called Hunter who didn't pick up. Brian wasn't around so I didn't bother to call him so I just curled up on my bed to read for a bit. First call I recieved was from Will. Within the first 5 minutes I broke down crying and lasted for a good almost 20 minutes telling him my cousin and I felt about how we don't know if she thought we hated her or something because we hadn't been around, or she thought that we didn't love her and that's why we weren't there. That was probably the worst part to think about. But Will got me to calm down after awhile. ...and since last night I've sort of let it roll off. I'm tired and slightly down, a little more mellow, but I still have a live to carry on with. I spoke with my cousin Thomas about it and neither of us knows if we'll be going home for the wake... there are a lot of family tension that surface around his part of the family and mine because of divorce issues. Neither of us wants to face that, it would give us a lot of stress. Instead we're going to carry on. He's going out tonight, I decided to stay in and just watch a movie, we're going to deal with the grief our own way.
Cloisters is this weekend, I'm rather excited. It'll be the first faire that I've gone with the roommate too. I get to see some awesome people who I won't be able to see for another like 10 months but at least I'll be able to say real goodbyes. Also I get to start making plans with other people like Clark who already owes me take-in and a movie because they are awesome evening to have ^.^ Going out tomorrow night with Amberly, her boyfriend Jordon, and Jordon's friends... it's gonna be awesome.
Quote of the Day that had me laughing on the floor is that Amberly is a racist against white people, she said "I can't dance with white people" all offended like and I gave an undertone "keep in mind folks...Amberly is white"... one of those you had to be there things, but it was humorous we had a laugh.
We made fun of the lab professor today in Bio, also we botched one of the labs when it was all done.
Oh... and Mer and I are the only smart people in our Stats class ^.^
Cloisters is this weekend, I'm rather excited. It'll be the first faire that I've gone with the roommate too. I get to see some awesome people who I won't be able to see for another like 10 months but at least I'll be able to say real goodbyes. Also I get to start making plans with other people like Clark who already owes me take-in and a movie because they are awesome evening to have ^.^ Going out tomorrow night with Amberly, her boyfriend Jordon, and Jordon's friends... it's gonna be awesome.
Quote of the Day that had me laughing on the floor is that Amberly is a racist against white people, she said "I can't dance with white people" all offended like and I gave an undertone "keep in mind folks...Amberly is white"... one of those you had to be there things, but it was humorous we had a laugh.
We made fun of the lab professor today in Bio, also we botched one of the labs when it was all done.
Oh... and Mer and I are the only smart people in our Stats class ^.^