#130 f3.5
Title: f3.5
Prompt: #130
Rating: PG
Length: ~7880 words
Side pairings: bff!Chanyeol/Sehun
Summary: Sehun captures life in stills. He doesn't expect he will capture love in motion.
Notes: mostly unbeta-ed, i hope prompter doesn’t mind a major change from the original prompt, this turns into more of a character study rather than a sekai. also, i am not very familiar with photography terms, i apologize if there will be mistakes! please enjoy~
"By the way, you're invited to do an exhibit with other local photographers. Exhibit is in a month."
Chanyeol, with a grin, shows his hand holding an unsealed envelope.
Sehun looks up to Chanyeol as he places his camera bag on his table. They just returned from their short vacation in Japan (with a work on the side for Sehun) and it had been fun because he got to take more photos for future use.
"From which company?" Sehun asks as he sits on his workstation to start editing photos from last two month's travels. He has no business projects to deal with so he finally got the time to work on his personal ones.
"PeterPan Printing Company," Chanyeol answers with an amusement coating his voice. "Seems like an advertisement thing. Should we accept it?"
Sehun keeps mum as he sorts out the photos he took from Tokyo, Shizuoka and Osaka. Two weeks of stay in Japan has led him to use 3 memory cards and he just could not wait to get his hands to see all the photos he captured. Sehun fell in love in Japan, just like he had in China, Thailand, and Singapore but there is just something so mystical about Japan, how it always feel different and at the same time nostalgic every time they go there for work.
Chanyeol lightly blows Sehun's ear that made the latter furrow his eyebrows. Sehun turns to him and glares.
"Should we take it? This will be the first public exhibit we'll do this year; it wouldn't be bad to accept it," Chanyeol muses. He leans back on Sehun's side desk, handing the letter to Sehun for him to check it out on his own.
Sehun takes it. "You do know how I fare about public exhibits."
Sehun is fine with them. He just gets overwhelmed with the amount of people who compliments his work at the same time. He smiles his way to thank everyone, with minimal words to spare. But once he is among group of people, he just listens, gets absorbed into the conversation, and only speaks when needed.
Chanyeol pats him on the shoulder and smiled at him. "You did well last time though!"
Sehun frowns slightly. He pours his attention to the invitation letter instead and reads the contents. It is the usual invitational photo exhibit he does. He needs to provide certain number of photos, appear on the opening and closing ceremonies (or whenever needed), and give some greetings or speeches when asked. But then he's never really good at the last one; he prefers to watch others appreciate what he has captured without the influence of his words. He wants to see if other people can see what he has seen during those moments, if they feel what he has felt at those times as well.
As he reads the rest of the letter, he ponders if he had enough photos he could collate for a central theme. A certain line on the letter disrupts his thoughts.
As a printing company, we believe that photographers capture life. Our motto is to bring these photos into life. We would be grateful if you can join us in our event and provide us with materials that make and feel people alive.
"Okay," Sehun suddenly speaks up as he hands the letter back to Chanyeol. He turns back to his monitor to go back to his task in hand. "Let's do it."
---
If there is one thing to captivate Sehun in participating an exhibit, it is when the theme would be about the beauty and normalcy of life. Life in its normal and natural state. Not something staged or overly beautified. Just life as it is.
Chanyeol is the one who told him his rising global fame for his photos in his Instagram account. What started as a hobby, becoming into a simple profession, to a big scale endeavor of appreciating life. Sehun can say he doesn't regret holding the camera at a young age.
"I'm at the station now; I'll meet you in an hour."
Sehun sighs as he tucks his phone in his pants. He properly puts out his mirrorless camera in case something interesting catches his attention. It's early in the morning, at an hour when people are bound for work or school or whatever they plan for the day. People rushing. Too fast movements. Sehun must be alert if something suddenly unfolds in front of him.
He is standing near the wall far off the platform, waiting for his train to arrive. He is bound to the studio he shares with Chanyeol. The taller guy gets enthusiastically too early when they have a new exhibit to prepare for. After some minutes, his train arrives and Sehun lets all passengers alight first before walking towards the nearest door. As he waits, he takes photos of the scene in front of him -- a wave of people rushing to start their goals for today. He can see how tired, bored and sleepy some are. However, he can see the brewing motivation and determination in some, and that's what he tries to capture. All the different feelings and emotions.
He is about to walk when the last person to exit the train, a young man, perhaps around his age, suddenly crouches and ties up his shoes. People who are about to get into the train look at the man with irritation. Who in their right mind suddenly ties his shoelaces when there is a crowd pooling near him? Sehun never misses that opportunity to take photos because it amuses him lots. Weird and unexpected sceneries are what he enjoys capturing the most.
Sehun keeps his camera focused on the young man, taking photos of his actions, until he flees the place and goes out of sight. He smiles and runs towards his train. Today seems to be a good start for this exhibit work.
---
It takes Sehun another five days to gather photos around Seoul. He has enough materials from his past impromptu and random shoots but it never hurts to add more to his collections (He badly needs a new hard drive for these). He smiles as he is able to pick up twenty photos he can to put into the exhibit.
"Those are pretty good as usual."
Sehun gets startled as Chanyeol passes him his usual cup of chocolate drink from the cafe below their studio. He takes the cup from the older guy and sips the content. He goes through the photos again, scrolling through his mouse.
"But don't you think it lacks something?" Sehun shifts to looking at the printed stills and looks at every one of them under critical eyes.
Chanyeol looms over him, the printed photos on his hands. He picks one of the photos and hands it to Sehun.
"Change this to that one you posted in your Instagram."
"Which one?" Sehun inquires as he accepts the photo Chanyeol is handing him. He has posted quite a lot these days as promotion to the exhibit they will do in less than a month.
Chanyeol goes back to his desk as he too needs to finalize his materials for the exhibit. "The guy you saw at the station? The one who tied his shoe?"
Sehun remembers that one. He might have taken a photo too many for that certain moment. He gets some of the shots printed as well. He doesn't know why but that may have been his favorite so far. He posted one in his Instagram, editing it to a closer shot of the guy's hands typing up his sneakers.
"I'll think about it."
Sehun doesn't. He goes through his folder for that day and immediately sorts all the shots of the shoe-tying guy. Chanyeol has a keen eye for unexpected situations and if he says that he likes a particular photo, the general public will do too. Not that Sehun doesn't trust himself to choose the photos he submits, he just has enough trust for Chanyeol to pick one for him.
---
Preparation for this collaborative exhibit seems to have passed as fast as a camera shutter set at 6400. Due to another project to work on, Sehun is not present at the opening of the exhibit. Chanyeol mentions how many people looked forward to seeing the young photographer again as he made another leap in capturing the hearts of many with his photos.
“I must say, there is another story to unfold from the exhibit this time,” Chanyeol mentions over the phone, during the time Sehun is in Busan for work. Sehun doesn’t inquire further because Chanyeol can be disgustingly poetic at times.
“You are so boring!” Chanyeol complains when Sehun doesn’t react to that. “Just come back immediately and meet the people.”
Sehun smiles and ends the phone call.
---
Sehun makes it to the second week of the exhibit. He goes alone without informing anyone. He checks out the works by other photographers as well until he gets to his own part of the exhibit. Suddenly he stops on his tracks because someone is there, tying up his shoes.
Sehun seems to have gone back to that day. That same moment when he pressed on that button and heard the camera shutter. He feels that same amusement from that time because the subject was so weird, the situation was so peculiar.
Kind of like deja vu… but not quite.
The shoe-tying guy is there, at that exact position when Sehun took that photo. The guy stands up and then looks up on the displayed photos. Sehun notices that the guy tilts his head to the right then to the left, as if he is under some confusion with the photos in front of him. It takes Sehun some courageous steps until he is almost beside the guy. Suddenly, the guy chuckles, making Sehun step back a little. And that catches the other guy’s attention.
“Oh, sorry,” the guy speaks softly and takes a step sideways.
Sehun bites his lips. This guy must have thought that he is blocking the photos for another spectator. This is definitely a first time for Sehun -- to meet someone he he has randomly photographed again. He doesn’t know if he should introduce himself as the photographer and apologize for displaying this person for the public to see.
“That’s me,” the guy speaks then, pointing at the middle photograph, the biggest of them all, on the makeshift wall that serves as Sehun’s canvass.
Sehun looks at the photograph and then back at the guy beside him.
“A friend told me that I have my photo in a public exhibit. He said he didn’t expect me to be photogenic. Isn’t that funny?” And the guy bursts into laughter.
Sehun feels a wave of unfamiliar emotions enveloping him. He holds on the hem of his shirt and keeps his eyes on the guy.
“Uhm?”
The guy calms down and apologizes again for being rude. “I didn’t believe my friend until I saw it myself. I don’t mind getting photographed but,” the guy pauses and gives Sehun a big smile. “This one really looks amazing.”
Time seems to have stopped for a moment for Sehun. Here in front of him is the guy he randomly took a photo of, incidentally met him in front of the said photo, and comments that the photo is amazing? Sehun must have heard all kinds of compliments but this one is the best of them all.
When Sehun is about to say his thanks, the guy pulls out his phone. He looks at Sehun quite apologetically, gives a small bow and walks briskly away to answer the call.
Sehun watches the guy’s back as he disappears from the forming crowd and feels the swelling regret on his chest. He hopes to meet this guy again so he can thank him properly.
---
Sehun doesn’t see him again after that. For a photo exhibit on a public park, where anyone, literally anyone can see, Sehun doesn’t see the shoe-tying guy again. Not like he keeps going back (he rarely stays for long in his exhibitions) and checks if the guy visits again, but Chanyeol notices.
“So,” Chanyeol puts his arms around Sehun’s shoulders. “I heard that one of your beautiful subjects saw your work.”
Chanyeol knows too many things for Sehun’s liking, but he doesn’t mind because they can be helpful most of the time.
“I met him,” Sehun says as he shrugs off Chanyeol’s arm. He looks up to his works and slowly walks away. His work in this exhibit is done since the opening and there is nothing else to do in here anyway. He hears Chanyeol shouting “Where are you going?” and he raises his camera up in the air.
To breathe, he thinks to himself as he gets mixed up in the busy weekday crowd.
And that is how taking photos is for Oh Sehun -- breathing. Breathing life in another form. Every look at the viewfinder, every press of the shutter button, every sound of the shutter getting released, every moment captured. So whenever Sehun feels out of himself, he takes his mirrorless camera and goes somewhere to breathe.
Sehun is just standing mindlessly on the station platform when he feels someone tapping on his shoulder. He turns to his back and his eyes widen when he sees him.
The shoe-tying guy seems to have a surprised look as well until his face breaks into a smile and a small Hello?
Sehun blinks and greets back awkwardly. “Hi.”
“You’re the one from the exhibit, right?”
“Uhm.”
The guy looks at the camera hanging from his shoulder. “You’re a photographer?”
Sehun looks down on his equipment and holds on the lens protectively. “Yeah.”
“You’re the photographer, aren’t you?” The guy seems to sound so excited it makes Sehun nervous.
Sehun tries to look apologetically at the guy. “I’m sorry, I can put down your photo if you don’t like people to see it. I didn’t--”
The guy laughs. “Hey, I don’t mind at all! I even find it appealing, I guess?”
If there is one thing Sehun feels right now, it is confusion. This is different from looking at his viewfinder and tries to capture what life shows. This is like looking at his viewfinder and seeing so many things he wants to capture at the same time.
“Kim Jongin.”
Sehun raises his eyebrows and only realizes that the guy just told him his name when he offers his hand.
“Sehun,” he answers as he takes Jongin’s hand for a shake. “Oh Sehun.”
Jongin gives his hand a one firm shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Photographer Oh. I would love to stay for a chat but I have another appointment to attend to,” he says as he releases Sehun’s hand slowly. He takes a short look at his wristwatch and bids Sehun goodbye with a nod.
Sehun doesn’t notice that he looks at his viewfinder, watches Jongin’s back at him, and presses the shutter button again.
---
The exhibit lasts for two more weeks. During the last week, more people visit the park for their photo exhibit. Some recognize Sehun when he passes along the place and give their compliments. As usual, Sehun will give them his gratitude.
Chanyeol approaches Sehun while the egress is going on.
“So you met him again?”
Sehun watches over the crew men disassemble the photos from the makeshift wall. He turns to Chanyeol after he sees that the men have placed the photos on the ground with care.
“Accidentally? Incidentally?” he answers. “I didn’t expect to see him and he was the one who approached me.”
Chanyeol puts his arms around Sehun (again. He likes doing so) and walks away from the exhibit, half-dragging the younger man. “With Seoul’s population and the number of people you have taken photo of, what is the probability that you met up with this guy? Twice even?”
Who knows, even Sehun wants to ask. He just shrugs at Chanyeol’s question and doesn’t thinnk too hard for the answer. They walk along the familiar route towards their favorite ramyun house.
“Anyway, that photo,” Chanyeol points back with his thumb, “is one of the most favorite. Somebody even offered a price to buy it.”
“I won’t give away that one,” Sehun answered too fast. He doesn’t notice until he sees Chanyeol stares at him quite long enough, as if asking why. “No reason.”
Sehun, after every exhibit, gives away his photos to whoever wanted it. He doesn’t take any money and just gives them for free. Some offer a price but he always declines them. For him, to be able to share something is enough, and that somebody wants to treasure one photo is even more valuable than money. Some may say that he is idealistic, but that’s just how he wants people to appreciate his work.
Chanyeol smirks at him. “Ah, that photo is special, I see.”
Sehun pushes the taller guy away. “Shut up,” he mutters and enters the ramyun house.
Keeping that photo does not mean anything. Sehun has the digital copy he can have printed all over again, in bigger sizes even. However, there is some unknown reason he wants to keep that particular still. He feels as if that something is bound to happen if he still have that one.
Something big… something that he doesn’t expect will hit him hard.
As Chanyeol and Sehun get on their usual table, Sehun’s phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and answers it.
“Hey, hyung.”
Chanyeol looks at Sehun with curious eyes and Sehun mouths, Junmyeon hyung. Chanyeol nods and calls for orders.
“I’m with Chanyeol hyung right now.” Sehun settles on his seat, placing his camera bag on another seat. Chanyeol mentions their orders on the staff and then gets himself properly settled as well. “Yeah, I’m free tomorrow. I can meet you in your office. Thanks, hyung.”
Kim Junmyeon is both their editor since the first photobooks Chanyeol and Sehun worked on. They were all newbies in their respective industries at that time, however their tandems click. At first, Junmyeon looked like someone who has no knowledge on photography but they were able to work effectively. He has good insights on the photographers’ works and he is able to share literary concepts on the younger men. Besides slowly getting known online, Chanyeol’s and Sehun’s fames rose exponentially after working with Junmyeon. And after their first photobooks, Junmyeon made a name for himself in their publishing house.
As the staff returns with their food, Sehun puts his phone down on the table. Chanyeol hands Sehun his chopsticks then gets on his own food. They both know when Junmyeon asks either of them in his office. Usually it’s a good thing, but both of them have experienced Junmyeon getting unsatisfied with what they have submitted before. It was not that bad, but disappointed Junmyeon is not good news.
“Did you send him some materials?” Chanyeol asks after some slurps of noodles. Egress always tires them out and today is no exception.
Sehun nods, wiping some of the soup that dripped from his mouth to his chin. “The other day. I asked if the ones from Busan will do. Don’t you think this is sooner than usual, knowing Junmyeon hyung?”
Chanyeol laughs. “He’s worked with us for years now, he’s probably known our style.”
Sehun rolls his eyes and continues eating.
They stay for a while in the establishment, talking about their pending projects and works they need to finish first. With the recent exhibit lasting for almost a month, both Chanyeol and Sehun receive proposals from different companies locally and abroad. Some are enticing, with good offers, however they still weigh in the pros and cons of accepting these big projects. Especially with the high demands for Sehun, he still contemplates in accepting most of the proposals when he is in the middle of a personal project.
It has been two years since he released the last photobook he made and compiled. After its release, he’s been working non-stop to cater the companies that ask for him and his skills. He needs to take a break from them and so he travels during his free days or in between work projects. Most of the time Chanyeol accompanies him, sometimes he goes alone.
The ‘me time’ does something good for Sehun because he gets back on his tracks with the style he is used to and comfortable with. Work makes him stiff and Sehun would hate it when he gets stuck with that.
The next day, Sehun decides to go the amusement park after meeting up with Junmyeon. Today’s weather is perfect and he wants to utilize the good light for his photos.
Sehun makes it to Junmyeon’s work place in time. He greets the other editors he sees on his way to Junmyeon’s cubicle. Some of them are too enthusiastic to see him again. It has really been a while, he thinks. When he gets to Junmyeon’s cubicle, he sees the older man too engrossed on his desktop while sipping on his coffee.
“Good morning, hyung,” Sehun greets while placing a paper bag of pastries. “I got you some of your favorites from the cafe down the studio.” He sits comfortably sits on the small stool beside Junmyeon.
“Why do you and Chanyeol feel so at home in my work place?” Junmyeon puts down his mug and grabs the goodies he just got. “And thank you for this.” He opens the paper bag and offers it to Sehun. They all know that whatever Chanyeol and Sehun brings, they are the who always end up eating them as well.
Sehun laughs while taking a bagel out of the bag. “You should get used to it already!”
Junmyeon just smiles at him. He is already used to them, being their editor and friend for quite a long time.
“So, what do you call me for?”
Junmyeon takes a brown envelope from his drawer. He pulls out some prints and hands them to Sehun.
“These are test prints for the first batch of photos you sent last month. Like you asked, it will be the same from the last book you released.”
Sehun takes a look at each prints and nods. “These are all fine.” He hands them back.
Junmyeon takes the prints from Sehun and makes a note on the envelope before keeping them back to his drawer. He then turns to Sehun. “I haven’t had the new ones printed so I cannot show them yet. Do you still need more time to collect materials?”
Whenever it’s a talk about work, Sehun is glad they have Junmyeon as their editor. He never sounds so intimidating and always sound so encouraging.
“Yes, but I don’t think it will take longer than we discussed. I’m even going out after this to see if I can add more.”
Junmyeon pats Sehun’s shoulder. “I will just wait for your draft then.”
Sehun smiles. He discusses some other projects with Junmyeon, asking him for some suggestions on the proposals he and Chanyeol received. They also talk about some of Junmyeon’s ongoing projects as he also work with some writers.
“Hey, hyung, I got the manuscripts you ask for-- Oh!”
Sehun and Junmyeon look at the newcomer at the same time. Sehun stands up abruptly upon seeing who just came.
“You--”
Junmyeon looks up at Sehun. “You know Jongin?”
Sehun flushes and nods. “Yes, he, uhm, yeah, I kinda know him.” His answer almost comes out like a whisper.
Jongin chuckles at that. “Hyung, he took a photo of me and got displayed on an exhibit! Kyungsoo hyung told me,” he answers as he offers the stack of manuscripts.
Junmyeon takes them and places them on his side desk. “Huh, I didn’t know.”
Sehun feels his heart beating so fast. After that unexpected meeting at the train station, he doesn’t think he will see Jongin so soon (or ever at all).
“Yeah, it is a really nice photo.”
Sehun bows formally at Jongin. “I really appreciate your compliments. I am sorry I wasn’t able to thank you properly that day.”
Jongin’s eyes are large with surprise. “No, no. I’m just stating the truth; it’s a pretty nice shot! The other photos too!”
Sehun bows at him again and smiles at Jongin who smiles back. “Thank you.” He then turns to Junmyeon, “Hyung, I think I’m taking more of your time, I’ll be leaving now,” he says as he picks up his camera bag from the other stool. He bids farewell to Junmyeon and Jongin.
He is about to step out of the building when he hears someone calling his name. He turns back and sees Jongin running towards him.
“Hey. Would you mind if we have coffee before you leave?”
Sehun is about to take the offer, but then frowns afterwards. “I…” He looks down at his camera bag and back at Jongin.
Jongin seem to have understand the thought. “I’m sorry, I should have known you have work to do, of course.”
“I don’t think it counts as a work, I just plan on going to Lotte World for my project…”
“Do you mind if I come with you instead?”
Sehun raises his eyebrows. “I don’t, but your work…”
Jongin grins at him and pulls out his phone to call someone. He turns his back slightly at Sehun. “Hyung! I don’t have anything else to do, right? Can I get off early?” He pauses for a while to look at Sehun and whispers Junmyeon’s name. “I’m gonna accompany Sehun,” then he laughs.
Sehun just watches Jongin talking to Junmyeon over the phone. It’s true that he doesn’t mind if he ever gets company at today’s itinerary. Jongin seems to be a fun companion… but there is something about him that makes Sehun feel butterfly on his stomach, a feeling which he can’t really point.
Jongin finishes his call and jumps quite excitedly, giving Sehun a thumbs up. “Is it really okay?”
Sehun smiles a little and nods.
---
Sehun sighs in relief as he looks through the photos he has taken for the day. Spending half the day at the amusement park is not that bad especially when he is just there with his camera. Collecting materials for his photobook is never a difficult thing for Sehun. Going to different places and trying to look for stories are the most fun part.
But to be with someone whom he doesn’t know very well gives him a nervous feeling. Sometimes he forgets that Jongin is with him being too immersed in looking through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter button. However, once he finds Jongin’s back in his viewfinder, it hits him that he has a company.
Jongin doesn’t disturb him per se. Sehun is the one who’s getting distracted… He is glad that it doesn’t seem to show for the other guy to notice.
Sehun invites Jongin at a cafe near Jongin’s working place when they are about to leave the park. Jongin accepts without a second thought, with a bright smile on his face almost makes Sehun blush a little.
When both of them have taken their seats, Jongin asks, “How do you do that?”
Sehun is about to lick the whipped cream on his straw when Jongin asked the question. He looks at this straw and then at Jongin. He holds out the straw to know if he refers to it. “Hm?”
“No,” and Jongin laughs at him. “Your photos.”
“Oh,” Sehun flushes a little from embarrassment as he puts back the straw on his drink and tries to stir it properly. “I don’t know. I just try to capture the moment. I believe every moment is beautiful.”
Jongin hums at his answer and smiles. “I see.”
Sehun stays silent after that. He is not good with talking to new people, but Jongin doesn’t seem to mind. After a quite awkward moment of silence, he tries to make a conversation with Jongin.
“What do you think of my photos?”
It’s a weird question, Sehun knows. The only person he can ask that question to is Chanyeol and Junmyeon, but to someone who’s almost a stranger? Sehun wants to take back what he just said.
“I think they are amazing,” Jongin stares at Sehun, with a bit of seriousness in his voice. “They are really simple yet,” he pauses.
And while Sehun waits for Jongin to finish his words, he gets surprise when Jongin chuckles at him.
“You’re not a really good talker, aren’t you?”
Sehun bites his straw and nods. “Not much,” he answers. “With new people.”
Jongin smiles. Sehun notices that Jongin has a pretty smile and he does so pretty often. He wonders how many people has had their day brighten with Jongin’s smile because he can compare it to the sun in a good day -- not so hot, not so bright. Just enough to make the day light and comfortable.
Jongin mentions that Sehun’s photos are amazing in a way that they are alive. He tells how he remembers that day, the one from the train station, after seeing that photo. And he is glad that he has seen that photo.
Sehun blushes as Jongin recounts his views on the photos and during the exhibit. Maybe meeting the one you have randomly taken a photo of is not bad thing.
---
Sehun asks for Jongin’s number that night. He says if in case he’s going out again for a shoot, he’ll invite Jongin. Jongin excitedly takes Sehun’s phone and keys in his number.
“I would love to go with you again,” Jongin says. After saving his number, he dials it for a call. He takes out his phone when it starts ringing. “So I have your number as well.” And he hands back Sehun’s phone.
Sehun takes his phone and looks at his phone for a moment before putting it back to his pocket. “Thank you for today. I’m sorry if I can be boring.”
Jongin shakes his head. “No, I had fun. Thank you as well.”
Sehun nods. Not that he wants the day to end already, but there’s a need to. He is quite tired and he is sure Jongin needs to go home for it’s still the middle of the week -- work demands attention. He bids goodbye after a short silence, bowing slightly.
Jongin bows back and takes his road. And again, Sehun takes out his camera and shoots a photo of Jongin’s back.
---
It does not take long for Sehun and Jongin to get closer after exchanging numbers. There are times that Sehun will go out suddenly for shoots and Jongin will randomly send him a message and then they will end up meeting somewhere afterwards.
Most of the time it doesn’t involve Sehun having shoots for his project but for a casual sugar intake. Sehun has opened up with Jongin after one or two of these meetings. In between of their get-togethers, they exchange messages a lot. Sometimes, Jongin will be sending weird and random pictures with a caption “Can I now be like you with my skills?”
There is one time when Sehun gets surprised with a photo Jongin sent him. A selca with his niece. Sehun stares at his phone for a long time and decides to save that particular photo. He sends an admiring sticker instead because he can’t form any words to reply to Jongin.
“Have you tried using a polaroid camera?” Jongin asks all of a sudden, while they are walking the streets of Hongdae, with bubble teas on their hands.
Sehun nods while sipping his own drink. “I have one at the studio but I don’t use it often.”
“Why don’t you try using polaroids for your next exhibit? I think it will be interesting!” Jongin suggests.
Sehun thinks about it. Polaroid camera can be difficult to use because it is a hit or miss. The amount of light entering the sensor cannot be controlled so you will not have an idea how a photo would turn out until it gets developed. But Sehun agrees that it will be interesting. Maybe he just needs a lot of polaroid films for this to work. (He is honest to himself that he is not used with polaroid cameras.)
When Sehun and Jongin meets the next time, instead of his usual mirrorless camera hanging on his shoulders, Sehun is holding out a while polaroid camera. Jongin approaches him happily.
“You took my suggestion!”
“I did. I have also taken some along the way.” Sehun takes out some films from his bag and hands them to Jongin.
Jongin scans through them and smiles. “I knew it! These are beautiful!” He almost squeals with delight as he comments on each of the photo. “You are really talented.”
Sehun turns around a little, to hide the redness on his face. It has been very usual that he blushes whenever Jongin compliments him or say anything nice in general. He feels as if he wants Jongin to always compliment him or to shut him up at the same time. It’s embarrassing, he thinks.
They go to the usual cafe (the one near Jongin’s workplace), get seated on their usual table. An invitation to meet randomly turning into a once in two weeks meeting and into a “Let’s do this more often” thus seeing each other more within a shorter span of time -- Sehun doesn’t notice at first but it occurs to him that Jongin makes him comfortable, that he always look forward to afternoons (or early mornings, when Jongin gets caught up with his own work that he stays an all-nighter reading manuscripts at work) with him. It occurs to him that the number of (secret) Jongin’s photos he has saved in his work computer increases. He doesn’t want to think of how many of Jongin’s selcas are saved in his phone as well.
Jongin brings them the drinks they always order, a mint chococcino for him and iced Milo dino shake for Sehun. He laughs when he gets on his seat.
“Don’t you think that we have the minds of an adult but heart of a child?” he asks, taking his drink and stirring the whipped cream the way he likes it.
Sehun sips his drink, confused. “What do you mean?”
Jongin points at both their drinks. “Chocolate drinks for the likes of us.”
Sehun looks at the drink he’s holding and then at the one in Jongin’s hand. He shrugs at the thought and continues drinking. Jongin just laughs at him.
And then there’s a flash.
Sehun gets blinded for a second. When the darkness has receded from his sight, he sees Jongin with a mischievous grin on his face, flipping a polaroid film. He hands the developed photo to Sehun.
Sehun places his drink on the table and takes it. He furrows his brows as he stares at himself greatly engrossed with his drink. For someone who is very used to being behind the camera, it is kind of awkward to see yourself in a photo.
Jongin takes another photo as Sehun sees another flash from the polaroid camera. After a minute or so, he hands the new photo to the young photographer.
Sehun looks at it. It’s a photo of their drinks, with their hands noticeable within the border.
“For the more responsible adults we will become.”
---
Sehun doesn't know when it started. He doesn't notice how his style has shifted slightly (or maybe, greatly) into something else. When he is used to capturing a scenery from afar -- trying to fit the whole thing in one shot -- now he has photos with close ups and more focused on the subject. Not that he has not done so in the past, but not as usually occurring like this. Chanyeol does not say anything bad about it at all.
"Well," Chanyeol greeted, walking through their working place with so much ease. This studio has been more of a home than a work place. "It's not bad for a photographer anyway. Anyone can try whatever fits them best."
Sehun furrows his eyebrows at that statement. No, this really feels weird to him. For him, it's like a different person took these photos, not him. He scowls at the prints in front of him, an accusatory stare like "who the hell took these photos?"
Chanyeol walks to Sehun's desk to see what causes his demise.
"Those are really nice though. Yeah, they do feel different from what you take but they look more alive?"
Sehun can definitely hear the curiosity at the end of Chanyeol's comment. What does he even mean by "more alive"? Sehun is famous as the "youngest photographer of this generation to capture life" as reviewed by one of the biggest photography magazines; his photos are meant to look and feel alive. Chanyeol's statement confuses him at the moment. Not that Sehun is very particular to changes, but to actually notice such after, what, many years of learning, creating, and honing his own style, he does feel weirded about it.
The prints on his work desk aren't that much but Sehun collects and throws them at a random box and keeps them under his table. No, not this batch. This batch won’t work for his photobook. Sehun goes back to his computer and emails Junmyeon.
Hyung. I’m sorry, I think this set won’t do. If you can see something workable, just inform me. I’ll send you another draft soon.
A reply comes in after an hour of going through his folders.
Meet me at my office tomorrow.
And Sehun realizes that a big change has definitely happened to him.
---
Sehun drops tiredly on the small stool beside Junmyeon. The older man gives him a warm smile and a gentle pat on the head. Chanyeol arrives shortly with a pastry bag and hands them to Junmyeon. He then tells them that he will just at Kyungsoo’s office as to not disturb their discussion.
“I see you don’t have your camera with you,” Junmyeon says, after offering Sehun his share.
Today is one of the rare times that Sehun doesn’t bring his camera, any camera, at all. And when it happens, Chanyeol mentions to Junmyeon before, Sehun is bothered with something.
Junmyeon takes out prints of Sehun’s most recent photos and lays them out on his desk. He takes another set of prints, the one he has shown Sehun months before, and puts them beside the new ones.
“Tell me what you see.”
Sehun pouts, but looks over his works. He is not good with words. When people says they can see the stories in his photos, he cannot. He can feel the story, but he cannot form the words that narrates them. One thing he can say is these two sets of photos feel different from each other…
“Like they tell the same story, but in different tones, am I right?” Junmyeon supplies after the long silence looming over them.
Sehun stays silent but nods his head. He himself is confused with this.
“They are not bad; honestly, the ones you’ve recently sent are very beautiful, as usual. But I have to agree that they seem to not work with what you’re trying to achieve on your photobook,” Junmyeon tells him. “Is something bothering you?”
Sehun thinks for a while but when he is about to answer a no, somebody knocks on Junmyeon’s humble cubicle.
Both Junmyeon and Sehun look up to see who arrives and see it is Jongin, again, with manuscripts in hand.
“Sorry, I seem to have disturbed your meeting, but Minseok hyung sent these for later?” Jongin hurriedly puts the materials on Junmyeon’s side desk.
Junmyeon smiles at him. “Thank you Jongin.”
Jongin bows slightly. “No problem, hyung,” he answers. “See you later, Sehun,” he waves his hand a little and takes his leave.
Sehun nods and then keeps his head low when Jongin is out of the cubicle.
“Do you like him?” Junmyeon asks when Jongin is out of sight.
Sehun raises his head abruptly, surprise obvious on his face. The redness on his face is apparent as well, but he shakes his head.
Junmyeon smiles at Sehun’s innocence. Sehun is young but very mature. For someone his age to be highly exposed to the world, the photographer has the experience of a reliable adult, but when it comes to strong emotion, Junmyeon can say that Sehun has no idea how to handle it well.
“Jongin,” Sehun starts, his voice small and soft. “He’s a good friend.”
“How do you find being with Jongin?”
“It’s fun. It’s always fun with Jongin,” Sehun answers, looking at his fingers tracing the borders of his photos. Being with him makes me happy, his mind tells him so.
“I heard you are using a polaroid camera these days?”
When Sehun looks at Jumyeon questioningly, the older just smiles. “Jongin told me so.”
“Oh. Yes.” Sehun opens his handbag. He puts out some polaroids he has taken the other day and shows them to his editor.
Junmyeon takes Sehun’s photos and looks at them with endearment. “You always know what your subject is, Sehun,” he reminds the photographer. “You just have to know what to focus on right now.”
Sehun furrows his brows a little.
“I think you have always set your aperture at f11,” Junmyeon laughs a little. “I can’t believe I’m using photography terms, but won’t lowering the aperture makes your subject more focused?”
Sehun nods. He is confused where this is going, but he just nods at Junmyeon.
“I’m sure your settings are all set.” Junmyeon puts the polaroids down on his desk except for one. He smiles and then places it in front of Sehun. “You just have to choose the correct apperture to see your subject properly.”
Sehun looks at the polaroid. He feels his heart beats widly, knots forming at the pit of his stomach, emotions crashing over him… but he smiles after a while from the realization.
It’s a picture of Jongin’s back.
---
Sehun doesn’t meet Jongin often after that time at Junmyeon’s cubicle. He is not deliberately ignoring Jongin, but now that he has come to know what he feels towards the other guy, he thinks he cannot face him at this point.
They still exchange messages as always. Jongin still sends random photos he captures. The selcas -- Sehun keeps saving them.
One time, Sehun sends a selca and Jongin floods him with stickers and variations of laughters in text form.
“Even your selca is top notch,” Jongin sends afterwards.
Sehun couldn’t stop the blush creeping his face and all he gets to send as a reply is a simple “Thanks.”
---
It takes Sehun a month and a half of repeated drafting for his photobook. Junmyeon assures him that he’s not on a deadline and he can take time with his project. But Sehun tells him that he needs to get this done sooner.
The release of his photobook is plotted after Sehun sends the final draft of his photobook to Junmyeon, with a note, “I’m sure with this one.” Junmyeon replies immediately with a “One month and you’re set.”
A day before the release of his photobook, Sehun goes to Junmyeon’s office to check the final copy of his photobook. He blushes when Junmyeon tells him that he has outdone himself again.
“Thanks as always, hyung.” Sehun picks up the copy of his photobook and takes his leave. He sees Junmyeon waves at him before slightly shouting at his phone with a “Park Chanyeol, stop disturbing Kyungsoo and get in here!”
He walks towards the usual cafe, nervously gripping at the book on his hand. He can see Jongin from outside, already with their drinks ready on the table. He takes a deep breath as he approaches the establishment.
As he nears Jongin, Sehun can feel his heart beating strongly. It’s so painful to the point that he thinks his chest is about to break. He tries to calm himself by taking longer and deeper breaths. When he gets to his own seat, Jongin greets him enthusiastically.
“Hey!”
Sehun doesn’t trust himself with words and suddenly hands Jongin the photobook he is holding.
Jongin slightly raises his brow and takes it with both hands. “Oh, wait, is this your recent work?” Sehun nods. “Junmyeon hyung has been so secretive with this one and doesn’t allow me to get near his station for more than a month!”
Sehun watches nervously as Jongin flips open the cover page. He can feel his knuckles whiten as he sees Jongin browse the book.
His photobook this time, is composed of the polaroids he has taken. A total of a hundred photos taken over the time Jongin has suggested the use of polaroid camera. Sehun sees Jongin breaks into small smiles and chuckles. Sometimes he comments on the photos with “Hey, I remember this one!”
Most of the photos included in the photobook are moments with Jongin and so Sehun is delighted every time Jongin mentions the time at which a particular photo is taken.
When Jongin reaches the last page, Sehun braces himself.
“For the one who lets me capture and experience something bigger than life,” Jongin reads.
“For letting me see what love is in motion, thank you, Kim Jongin,” Sehun continues.
Jongin looks up from the book and sees Sehun holding the same polaroid he took the first time Sehun brought out the polaroid camera. He smiles.
“Will you go out with me?” Jongin asks.
Sehun smiles shyly but nods.
---
Jongin falls first. What started initially as curiosity transpires into something greater when Jongin witnesses how Sehun would put up his camera and get into work. He is taken by storm when he sees Sehun’s eyes shine the brightest after checking what he has just captured. It doesn’t help that they are in an amusement park, where happiness is meant to be felt and experienced.
When Jongin sees the Sehun’s lips curving upwards, he feels as if he wants to take a shot of that moment as well.
And he is able to.
Jongin picks up Sehun’s polaroid camera from the table as the other guy is busy with his drink. He looks into the viewfinder and presses the shutter button. He chuckles when he sees the surprised look in Sehun’s face from the flash.
There it hits him, as progressive as the developing of the photo, how Sehun makes him look forward everyday, and how he looks toward the day that this feeling will develop into something beautiful.
Prompt: #130
Rating: PG
Length: ~7880 words
Side pairings: bff!Chanyeol/Sehun
Summary: Sehun captures life in stills. He doesn't expect he will capture love in motion.
Notes: mostly unbeta-ed, i hope prompter doesn’t mind a major change from the original prompt, this turns into more of a character study rather than a sekai. also, i am not very familiar with photography terms, i apologize if there will be mistakes! please enjoy~
"By the way, you're invited to do an exhibit with other local photographers. Exhibit is in a month."
Chanyeol, with a grin, shows his hand holding an unsealed envelope.
Sehun looks up to Chanyeol as he places his camera bag on his table. They just returned from their short vacation in Japan (with a work on the side for Sehun) and it had been fun because he got to take more photos for future use.
"From which company?" Sehun asks as he sits on his workstation to start editing photos from last two month's travels. He has no business projects to deal with so he finally got the time to work on his personal ones.
"PeterPan Printing Company," Chanyeol answers with an amusement coating his voice. "Seems like an advertisement thing. Should we accept it?"
Sehun keeps mum as he sorts out the photos he took from Tokyo, Shizuoka and Osaka. Two weeks of stay in Japan has led him to use 3 memory cards and he just could not wait to get his hands to see all the photos he captured. Sehun fell in love in Japan, just like he had in China, Thailand, and Singapore but there is just something so mystical about Japan, how it always feel different and at the same time nostalgic every time they go there for work.
Chanyeol lightly blows Sehun's ear that made the latter furrow his eyebrows. Sehun turns to him and glares.
"Should we take it? This will be the first public exhibit we'll do this year; it wouldn't be bad to accept it," Chanyeol muses. He leans back on Sehun's side desk, handing the letter to Sehun for him to check it out on his own.
Sehun takes it. "You do know how I fare about public exhibits."
Sehun is fine with them. He just gets overwhelmed with the amount of people who compliments his work at the same time. He smiles his way to thank everyone, with minimal words to spare. But once he is among group of people, he just listens, gets absorbed into the conversation, and only speaks when needed.
Chanyeol pats him on the shoulder and smiled at him. "You did well last time though!"
Sehun frowns slightly. He pours his attention to the invitation letter instead and reads the contents. It is the usual invitational photo exhibit he does. He needs to provide certain number of photos, appear on the opening and closing ceremonies (or whenever needed), and give some greetings or speeches when asked. But then he's never really good at the last one; he prefers to watch others appreciate what he has captured without the influence of his words. He wants to see if other people can see what he has seen during those moments, if they feel what he has felt at those times as well.
As he reads the rest of the letter, he ponders if he had enough photos he could collate for a central theme. A certain line on the letter disrupts his thoughts.
As a printing company, we believe that photographers capture life. Our motto is to bring these photos into life. We would be grateful if you can join us in our event and provide us with materials that make and feel people alive.
"Okay," Sehun suddenly speaks up as he hands the letter back to Chanyeol. He turns back to his monitor to go back to his task in hand. "Let's do it."
---
If there is one thing to captivate Sehun in participating an exhibit, it is when the theme would be about the beauty and normalcy of life. Life in its normal and natural state. Not something staged or overly beautified. Just life as it is.
Chanyeol is the one who told him his rising global fame for his photos in his Instagram account. What started as a hobby, becoming into a simple profession, to a big scale endeavor of appreciating life. Sehun can say he doesn't regret holding the camera at a young age.
"I'm at the station now; I'll meet you in an hour."
Sehun sighs as he tucks his phone in his pants. He properly puts out his mirrorless camera in case something interesting catches his attention. It's early in the morning, at an hour when people are bound for work or school or whatever they plan for the day. People rushing. Too fast movements. Sehun must be alert if something suddenly unfolds in front of him.
He is standing near the wall far off the platform, waiting for his train to arrive. He is bound to the studio he shares with Chanyeol. The taller guy gets enthusiastically too early when they have a new exhibit to prepare for. After some minutes, his train arrives and Sehun lets all passengers alight first before walking towards the nearest door. As he waits, he takes photos of the scene in front of him -- a wave of people rushing to start their goals for today. He can see how tired, bored and sleepy some are. However, he can see the brewing motivation and determination in some, and that's what he tries to capture. All the different feelings and emotions.
He is about to walk when the last person to exit the train, a young man, perhaps around his age, suddenly crouches and ties up his shoes. People who are about to get into the train look at the man with irritation. Who in their right mind suddenly ties his shoelaces when there is a crowd pooling near him? Sehun never misses that opportunity to take photos because it amuses him lots. Weird and unexpected sceneries are what he enjoys capturing the most.
Sehun keeps his camera focused on the young man, taking photos of his actions, until he flees the place and goes out of sight. He smiles and runs towards his train. Today seems to be a good start for this exhibit work.
---
It takes Sehun another five days to gather photos around Seoul. He has enough materials from his past impromptu and random shoots but it never hurts to add more to his collections (He badly needs a new hard drive for these). He smiles as he is able to pick up twenty photos he can to put into the exhibit.
"Those are pretty good as usual."
Sehun gets startled as Chanyeol passes him his usual cup of chocolate drink from the cafe below their studio. He takes the cup from the older guy and sips the content. He goes through the photos again, scrolling through his mouse.
"But don't you think it lacks something?" Sehun shifts to looking at the printed stills and looks at every one of them under critical eyes.
Chanyeol looms over him, the printed photos on his hands. He picks one of the photos and hands it to Sehun.
"Change this to that one you posted in your Instagram."
"Which one?" Sehun inquires as he accepts the photo Chanyeol is handing him. He has posted quite a lot these days as promotion to the exhibit they will do in less than a month.
Chanyeol goes back to his desk as he too needs to finalize his materials for the exhibit. "The guy you saw at the station? The one who tied his shoe?"
Sehun remembers that one. He might have taken a photo too many for that certain moment. He gets some of the shots printed as well. He doesn't know why but that may have been his favorite so far. He posted one in his Instagram, editing it to a closer shot of the guy's hands typing up his sneakers.
"I'll think about it."
Sehun doesn't. He goes through his folder for that day and immediately sorts all the shots of the shoe-tying guy. Chanyeol has a keen eye for unexpected situations and if he says that he likes a particular photo, the general public will do too. Not that Sehun doesn't trust himself to choose the photos he submits, he just has enough trust for Chanyeol to pick one for him.
---
Preparation for this collaborative exhibit seems to have passed as fast as a camera shutter set at 6400. Due to another project to work on, Sehun is not present at the opening of the exhibit. Chanyeol mentions how many people looked forward to seeing the young photographer again as he made another leap in capturing the hearts of many with his photos.
“I must say, there is another story to unfold from the exhibit this time,” Chanyeol mentions over the phone, during the time Sehun is in Busan for work. Sehun doesn’t inquire further because Chanyeol can be disgustingly poetic at times.
“You are so boring!” Chanyeol complains when Sehun doesn’t react to that. “Just come back immediately and meet the people.”
Sehun smiles and ends the phone call.
---
Sehun makes it to the second week of the exhibit. He goes alone without informing anyone. He checks out the works by other photographers as well until he gets to his own part of the exhibit. Suddenly he stops on his tracks because someone is there, tying up his shoes.
Sehun seems to have gone back to that day. That same moment when he pressed on that button and heard the camera shutter. He feels that same amusement from that time because the subject was so weird, the situation was so peculiar.
Kind of like deja vu… but not quite.
The shoe-tying guy is there, at that exact position when Sehun took that photo. The guy stands up and then looks up on the displayed photos. Sehun notices that the guy tilts his head to the right then to the left, as if he is under some confusion with the photos in front of him. It takes Sehun some courageous steps until he is almost beside the guy. Suddenly, the guy chuckles, making Sehun step back a little. And that catches the other guy’s attention.
“Oh, sorry,” the guy speaks softly and takes a step sideways.
Sehun bites his lips. This guy must have thought that he is blocking the photos for another spectator. This is definitely a first time for Sehun -- to meet someone he he has randomly photographed again. He doesn’t know if he should introduce himself as the photographer and apologize for displaying this person for the public to see.
“That’s me,” the guy speaks then, pointing at the middle photograph, the biggest of them all, on the makeshift wall that serves as Sehun’s canvass.
Sehun looks at the photograph and then back at the guy beside him.
“A friend told me that I have my photo in a public exhibit. He said he didn’t expect me to be photogenic. Isn’t that funny?” And the guy bursts into laughter.
Sehun feels a wave of unfamiliar emotions enveloping him. He holds on the hem of his shirt and keeps his eyes on the guy.
“Uhm?”
The guy calms down and apologizes again for being rude. “I didn’t believe my friend until I saw it myself. I don’t mind getting photographed but,” the guy pauses and gives Sehun a big smile. “This one really looks amazing.”
Time seems to have stopped for a moment for Sehun. Here in front of him is the guy he randomly took a photo of, incidentally met him in front of the said photo, and comments that the photo is amazing? Sehun must have heard all kinds of compliments but this one is the best of them all.
When Sehun is about to say his thanks, the guy pulls out his phone. He looks at Sehun quite apologetically, gives a small bow and walks briskly away to answer the call.
Sehun watches the guy’s back as he disappears from the forming crowd and feels the swelling regret on his chest. He hopes to meet this guy again so he can thank him properly.
---
Sehun doesn’t see him again after that. For a photo exhibit on a public park, where anyone, literally anyone can see, Sehun doesn’t see the shoe-tying guy again. Not like he keeps going back (he rarely stays for long in his exhibitions) and checks if the guy visits again, but Chanyeol notices.
“So,” Chanyeol puts his arms around Sehun’s shoulders. “I heard that one of your beautiful subjects saw your work.”
Chanyeol knows too many things for Sehun’s liking, but he doesn’t mind because they can be helpful most of the time.
“I met him,” Sehun says as he shrugs off Chanyeol’s arm. He looks up to his works and slowly walks away. His work in this exhibit is done since the opening and there is nothing else to do in here anyway. He hears Chanyeol shouting “Where are you going?” and he raises his camera up in the air.
To breathe, he thinks to himself as he gets mixed up in the busy weekday crowd.
And that is how taking photos is for Oh Sehun -- breathing. Breathing life in another form. Every look at the viewfinder, every press of the shutter button, every sound of the shutter getting released, every moment captured. So whenever Sehun feels out of himself, he takes his mirrorless camera and goes somewhere to breathe.
Sehun is just standing mindlessly on the station platform when he feels someone tapping on his shoulder. He turns to his back and his eyes widen when he sees him.
The shoe-tying guy seems to have a surprised look as well until his face breaks into a smile and a small Hello?
Sehun blinks and greets back awkwardly. “Hi.”
“You’re the one from the exhibit, right?”
“Uhm.”
The guy looks at the camera hanging from his shoulder. “You’re a photographer?”
Sehun looks down on his equipment and holds on the lens protectively. “Yeah.”
“You’re the photographer, aren’t you?” The guy seems to sound so excited it makes Sehun nervous.
Sehun tries to look apologetically at the guy. “I’m sorry, I can put down your photo if you don’t like people to see it. I didn’t--”
The guy laughs. “Hey, I don’t mind at all! I even find it appealing, I guess?”
If there is one thing Sehun feels right now, it is confusion. This is different from looking at his viewfinder and tries to capture what life shows. This is like looking at his viewfinder and seeing so many things he wants to capture at the same time.
“Kim Jongin.”
Sehun raises his eyebrows and only realizes that the guy just told him his name when he offers his hand.
“Sehun,” he answers as he takes Jongin’s hand for a shake. “Oh Sehun.”
Jongin gives his hand a one firm shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Photographer Oh. I would love to stay for a chat but I have another appointment to attend to,” he says as he releases Sehun’s hand slowly. He takes a short look at his wristwatch and bids Sehun goodbye with a nod.
Sehun doesn’t notice that he looks at his viewfinder, watches Jongin’s back at him, and presses the shutter button again.
---
The exhibit lasts for two more weeks. During the last week, more people visit the park for their photo exhibit. Some recognize Sehun when he passes along the place and give their compliments. As usual, Sehun will give them his gratitude.
Chanyeol approaches Sehun while the egress is going on.
“So you met him again?”
Sehun watches over the crew men disassemble the photos from the makeshift wall. He turns to Chanyeol after he sees that the men have placed the photos on the ground with care.
“Accidentally? Incidentally?” he answers. “I didn’t expect to see him and he was the one who approached me.”
Chanyeol puts his arms around Sehun (again. He likes doing so) and walks away from the exhibit, half-dragging the younger man. “With Seoul’s population and the number of people you have taken photo of, what is the probability that you met up with this guy? Twice even?”
Who knows, even Sehun wants to ask. He just shrugs at Chanyeol’s question and doesn’t thinnk too hard for the answer. They walk along the familiar route towards their favorite ramyun house.
“Anyway, that photo,” Chanyeol points back with his thumb, “is one of the most favorite. Somebody even offered a price to buy it.”
“I won’t give away that one,” Sehun answered too fast. He doesn’t notice until he sees Chanyeol stares at him quite long enough, as if asking why. “No reason.”
Sehun, after every exhibit, gives away his photos to whoever wanted it. He doesn’t take any money and just gives them for free. Some offer a price but he always declines them. For him, to be able to share something is enough, and that somebody wants to treasure one photo is even more valuable than money. Some may say that he is idealistic, but that’s just how he wants people to appreciate his work.
Chanyeol smirks at him. “Ah, that photo is special, I see.”
Sehun pushes the taller guy away. “Shut up,” he mutters and enters the ramyun house.
Keeping that photo does not mean anything. Sehun has the digital copy he can have printed all over again, in bigger sizes even. However, there is some unknown reason he wants to keep that particular still. He feels as if that something is bound to happen if he still have that one.
Something big… something that he doesn’t expect will hit him hard.
As Chanyeol and Sehun get on their usual table, Sehun’s phone rings. He takes it out of his pocket and answers it.
“Hey, hyung.”
Chanyeol looks at Sehun with curious eyes and Sehun mouths, Junmyeon hyung. Chanyeol nods and calls for orders.
“I’m with Chanyeol hyung right now.” Sehun settles on his seat, placing his camera bag on another seat. Chanyeol mentions their orders on the staff and then gets himself properly settled as well. “Yeah, I’m free tomorrow. I can meet you in your office. Thanks, hyung.”
Kim Junmyeon is both their editor since the first photobooks Chanyeol and Sehun worked on. They were all newbies in their respective industries at that time, however their tandems click. At first, Junmyeon looked like someone who has no knowledge on photography but they were able to work effectively. He has good insights on the photographers’ works and he is able to share literary concepts on the younger men. Besides slowly getting known online, Chanyeol’s and Sehun’s fames rose exponentially after working with Junmyeon. And after their first photobooks, Junmyeon made a name for himself in their publishing house.
As the staff returns with their food, Sehun puts his phone down on the table. Chanyeol hands Sehun his chopsticks then gets on his own food. They both know when Junmyeon asks either of them in his office. Usually it’s a good thing, but both of them have experienced Junmyeon getting unsatisfied with what they have submitted before. It was not that bad, but disappointed Junmyeon is not good news.
“Did you send him some materials?” Chanyeol asks after some slurps of noodles. Egress always tires them out and today is no exception.
Sehun nods, wiping some of the soup that dripped from his mouth to his chin. “The other day. I asked if the ones from Busan will do. Don’t you think this is sooner than usual, knowing Junmyeon hyung?”
Chanyeol laughs. “He’s worked with us for years now, he’s probably known our style.”
Sehun rolls his eyes and continues eating.
They stay for a while in the establishment, talking about their pending projects and works they need to finish first. With the recent exhibit lasting for almost a month, both Chanyeol and Sehun receive proposals from different companies locally and abroad. Some are enticing, with good offers, however they still weigh in the pros and cons of accepting these big projects. Especially with the high demands for Sehun, he still contemplates in accepting most of the proposals when he is in the middle of a personal project.
It has been two years since he released the last photobook he made and compiled. After its release, he’s been working non-stop to cater the companies that ask for him and his skills. He needs to take a break from them and so he travels during his free days or in between work projects. Most of the time Chanyeol accompanies him, sometimes he goes alone.
The ‘me time’ does something good for Sehun because he gets back on his tracks with the style he is used to and comfortable with. Work makes him stiff and Sehun would hate it when he gets stuck with that.
The next day, Sehun decides to go the amusement park after meeting up with Junmyeon. Today’s weather is perfect and he wants to utilize the good light for his photos.
Sehun makes it to Junmyeon’s work place in time. He greets the other editors he sees on his way to Junmyeon’s cubicle. Some of them are too enthusiastic to see him again. It has really been a while, he thinks. When he gets to Junmyeon’s cubicle, he sees the older man too engrossed on his desktop while sipping on his coffee.
“Good morning, hyung,” Sehun greets while placing a paper bag of pastries. “I got you some of your favorites from the cafe down the studio.” He sits comfortably sits on the small stool beside Junmyeon.
“Why do you and Chanyeol feel so at home in my work place?” Junmyeon puts down his mug and grabs the goodies he just got. “And thank you for this.” He opens the paper bag and offers it to Sehun. They all know that whatever Chanyeol and Sehun brings, they are the who always end up eating them as well.
Sehun laughs while taking a bagel out of the bag. “You should get used to it already!”
Junmyeon just smiles at him. He is already used to them, being their editor and friend for quite a long time.
“So, what do you call me for?”
Junmyeon takes a brown envelope from his drawer. He pulls out some prints and hands them to Sehun.
“These are test prints for the first batch of photos you sent last month. Like you asked, it will be the same from the last book you released.”
Sehun takes a look at each prints and nods. “These are all fine.” He hands them back.
Junmyeon takes the prints from Sehun and makes a note on the envelope before keeping them back to his drawer. He then turns to Sehun. “I haven’t had the new ones printed so I cannot show them yet. Do you still need more time to collect materials?”
Whenever it’s a talk about work, Sehun is glad they have Junmyeon as their editor. He never sounds so intimidating and always sound so encouraging.
“Yes, but I don’t think it will take longer than we discussed. I’m even going out after this to see if I can add more.”
Junmyeon pats Sehun’s shoulder. “I will just wait for your draft then.”
Sehun smiles. He discusses some other projects with Junmyeon, asking him for some suggestions on the proposals he and Chanyeol received. They also talk about some of Junmyeon’s ongoing projects as he also work with some writers.
“Hey, hyung, I got the manuscripts you ask for-- Oh!”
Sehun and Junmyeon look at the newcomer at the same time. Sehun stands up abruptly upon seeing who just came.
“You--”
Junmyeon looks up at Sehun. “You know Jongin?”
Sehun flushes and nods. “Yes, he, uhm, yeah, I kinda know him.” His answer almost comes out like a whisper.
Jongin chuckles at that. “Hyung, he took a photo of me and got displayed on an exhibit! Kyungsoo hyung told me,” he answers as he offers the stack of manuscripts.
Junmyeon takes them and places them on his side desk. “Huh, I didn’t know.”
Sehun feels his heart beating so fast. After that unexpected meeting at the train station, he doesn’t think he will see Jongin so soon (or ever at all).
“Yeah, it is a really nice photo.”
Sehun bows formally at Jongin. “I really appreciate your compliments. I am sorry I wasn’t able to thank you properly that day.”
Jongin’s eyes are large with surprise. “No, no. I’m just stating the truth; it’s a pretty nice shot! The other photos too!”
Sehun bows at him again and smiles at Jongin who smiles back. “Thank you.” He then turns to Junmyeon, “Hyung, I think I’m taking more of your time, I’ll be leaving now,” he says as he picks up his camera bag from the other stool. He bids farewell to Junmyeon and Jongin.
He is about to step out of the building when he hears someone calling his name. He turns back and sees Jongin running towards him.
“Hey. Would you mind if we have coffee before you leave?”
Sehun is about to take the offer, but then frowns afterwards. “I…” He looks down at his camera bag and back at Jongin.
Jongin seem to have understand the thought. “I’m sorry, I should have known you have work to do, of course.”
“I don’t think it counts as a work, I just plan on going to Lotte World for my project…”
“Do you mind if I come with you instead?”
Sehun raises his eyebrows. “I don’t, but your work…”
Jongin grins at him and pulls out his phone to call someone. He turns his back slightly at Sehun. “Hyung! I don’t have anything else to do, right? Can I get off early?” He pauses for a while to look at Sehun and whispers Junmyeon’s name. “I’m gonna accompany Sehun,” then he laughs.
Sehun just watches Jongin talking to Junmyeon over the phone. It’s true that he doesn’t mind if he ever gets company at today’s itinerary. Jongin seems to be a fun companion… but there is something about him that makes Sehun feel butterfly on his stomach, a feeling which he can’t really point.
Jongin finishes his call and jumps quite excitedly, giving Sehun a thumbs up. “Is it really okay?”
Sehun smiles a little and nods.
---
Sehun sighs in relief as he looks through the photos he has taken for the day. Spending half the day at the amusement park is not that bad especially when he is just there with his camera. Collecting materials for his photobook is never a difficult thing for Sehun. Going to different places and trying to look for stories are the most fun part.
But to be with someone whom he doesn’t know very well gives him a nervous feeling. Sometimes he forgets that Jongin is with him being too immersed in looking through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter button. However, once he finds Jongin’s back in his viewfinder, it hits him that he has a company.
Jongin doesn’t disturb him per se. Sehun is the one who’s getting distracted… He is glad that it doesn’t seem to show for the other guy to notice.
Sehun invites Jongin at a cafe near Jongin’s working place when they are about to leave the park. Jongin accepts without a second thought, with a bright smile on his face almost makes Sehun blush a little.
When both of them have taken their seats, Jongin asks, “How do you do that?”
Sehun is about to lick the whipped cream on his straw when Jongin asked the question. He looks at this straw and then at Jongin. He holds out the straw to know if he refers to it. “Hm?”
“No,” and Jongin laughs at him. “Your photos.”
“Oh,” Sehun flushes a little from embarrassment as he puts back the straw on his drink and tries to stir it properly. “I don’t know. I just try to capture the moment. I believe every moment is beautiful.”
Jongin hums at his answer and smiles. “I see.”
Sehun stays silent after that. He is not good with talking to new people, but Jongin doesn’t seem to mind. After a quite awkward moment of silence, he tries to make a conversation with Jongin.
“What do you think of my photos?”
It’s a weird question, Sehun knows. The only person he can ask that question to is Chanyeol and Junmyeon, but to someone who’s almost a stranger? Sehun wants to take back what he just said.
“I think they are amazing,” Jongin stares at Sehun, with a bit of seriousness in his voice. “They are really simple yet,” he pauses.
And while Sehun waits for Jongin to finish his words, he gets surprise when Jongin chuckles at him.
“You’re not a really good talker, aren’t you?”
Sehun bites his straw and nods. “Not much,” he answers. “With new people.”
Jongin smiles. Sehun notices that Jongin has a pretty smile and he does so pretty often. He wonders how many people has had their day brighten with Jongin’s smile because he can compare it to the sun in a good day -- not so hot, not so bright. Just enough to make the day light and comfortable.
Jongin mentions that Sehun’s photos are amazing in a way that they are alive. He tells how he remembers that day, the one from the train station, after seeing that photo. And he is glad that he has seen that photo.
Sehun blushes as Jongin recounts his views on the photos and during the exhibit. Maybe meeting the one you have randomly taken a photo of is not bad thing.
---
Sehun asks for Jongin’s number that night. He says if in case he’s going out again for a shoot, he’ll invite Jongin. Jongin excitedly takes Sehun’s phone and keys in his number.
“I would love to go with you again,” Jongin says. After saving his number, he dials it for a call. He takes out his phone when it starts ringing. “So I have your number as well.” And he hands back Sehun’s phone.
Sehun takes his phone and looks at his phone for a moment before putting it back to his pocket. “Thank you for today. I’m sorry if I can be boring.”
Jongin shakes his head. “No, I had fun. Thank you as well.”
Sehun nods. Not that he wants the day to end already, but there’s a need to. He is quite tired and he is sure Jongin needs to go home for it’s still the middle of the week -- work demands attention. He bids goodbye after a short silence, bowing slightly.
Jongin bows back and takes his road. And again, Sehun takes out his camera and shoots a photo of Jongin’s back.
---
It does not take long for Sehun and Jongin to get closer after exchanging numbers. There are times that Sehun will go out suddenly for shoots and Jongin will randomly send him a message and then they will end up meeting somewhere afterwards.
Most of the time it doesn’t involve Sehun having shoots for his project but for a casual sugar intake. Sehun has opened up with Jongin after one or two of these meetings. In between of their get-togethers, they exchange messages a lot. Sometimes, Jongin will be sending weird and random pictures with a caption “Can I now be like you with my skills?”
There is one time when Sehun gets surprised with a photo Jongin sent him. A selca with his niece. Sehun stares at his phone for a long time and decides to save that particular photo. He sends an admiring sticker instead because he can’t form any words to reply to Jongin.
“Have you tried using a polaroid camera?” Jongin asks all of a sudden, while they are walking the streets of Hongdae, with bubble teas on their hands.
Sehun nods while sipping his own drink. “I have one at the studio but I don’t use it often.”
“Why don’t you try using polaroids for your next exhibit? I think it will be interesting!” Jongin suggests.
Sehun thinks about it. Polaroid camera can be difficult to use because it is a hit or miss. The amount of light entering the sensor cannot be controlled so you will not have an idea how a photo would turn out until it gets developed. But Sehun agrees that it will be interesting. Maybe he just needs a lot of polaroid films for this to work. (He is honest to himself that he is not used with polaroid cameras.)
When Sehun and Jongin meets the next time, instead of his usual mirrorless camera hanging on his shoulders, Sehun is holding out a while polaroid camera. Jongin approaches him happily.
“You took my suggestion!”
“I did. I have also taken some along the way.” Sehun takes out some films from his bag and hands them to Jongin.
Jongin scans through them and smiles. “I knew it! These are beautiful!” He almost squeals with delight as he comments on each of the photo. “You are really talented.”
Sehun turns around a little, to hide the redness on his face. It has been very usual that he blushes whenever Jongin compliments him or say anything nice in general. He feels as if he wants Jongin to always compliment him or to shut him up at the same time. It’s embarrassing, he thinks.
They go to the usual cafe (the one near Jongin’s workplace), get seated on their usual table. An invitation to meet randomly turning into a once in two weeks meeting and into a “Let’s do this more often” thus seeing each other more within a shorter span of time -- Sehun doesn’t notice at first but it occurs to him that Jongin makes him comfortable, that he always look forward to afternoons (or early mornings, when Jongin gets caught up with his own work that he stays an all-nighter reading manuscripts at work) with him. It occurs to him that the number of (secret) Jongin’s photos he has saved in his work computer increases. He doesn’t want to think of how many of Jongin’s selcas are saved in his phone as well.
Jongin brings them the drinks they always order, a mint chococcino for him and iced Milo dino shake for Sehun. He laughs when he gets on his seat.
“Don’t you think that we have the minds of an adult but heart of a child?” he asks, taking his drink and stirring the whipped cream the way he likes it.
Sehun sips his drink, confused. “What do you mean?”
Jongin points at both their drinks. “Chocolate drinks for the likes of us.”
Sehun looks at the drink he’s holding and then at the one in Jongin’s hand. He shrugs at the thought and continues drinking. Jongin just laughs at him.
And then there’s a flash.
Sehun gets blinded for a second. When the darkness has receded from his sight, he sees Jongin with a mischievous grin on his face, flipping a polaroid film. He hands the developed photo to Sehun.
Sehun places his drink on the table and takes it. He furrows his brows as he stares at himself greatly engrossed with his drink. For someone who is very used to being behind the camera, it is kind of awkward to see yourself in a photo.
Jongin takes another photo as Sehun sees another flash from the polaroid camera. After a minute or so, he hands the new photo to the young photographer.
Sehun looks at it. It’s a photo of their drinks, with their hands noticeable within the border.
“For the more responsible adults we will become.”
---
Sehun doesn't know when it started. He doesn't notice how his style has shifted slightly (or maybe, greatly) into something else. When he is used to capturing a scenery from afar -- trying to fit the whole thing in one shot -- now he has photos with close ups and more focused on the subject. Not that he has not done so in the past, but not as usually occurring like this. Chanyeol does not say anything bad about it at all.
"Well," Chanyeol greeted, walking through their working place with so much ease. This studio has been more of a home than a work place. "It's not bad for a photographer anyway. Anyone can try whatever fits them best."
Sehun furrows his eyebrows at that statement. No, this really feels weird to him. For him, it's like a different person took these photos, not him. He scowls at the prints in front of him, an accusatory stare like "who the hell took these photos?"
Chanyeol walks to Sehun's desk to see what causes his demise.
"Those are really nice though. Yeah, they do feel different from what you take but they look more alive?"
Sehun can definitely hear the curiosity at the end of Chanyeol's comment. What does he even mean by "more alive"? Sehun is famous as the "youngest photographer of this generation to capture life" as reviewed by one of the biggest photography magazines; his photos are meant to look and feel alive. Chanyeol's statement confuses him at the moment. Not that Sehun is very particular to changes, but to actually notice such after, what, many years of learning, creating, and honing his own style, he does feel weirded about it.
The prints on his work desk aren't that much but Sehun collects and throws them at a random box and keeps them under his table. No, not this batch. This batch won’t work for his photobook. Sehun goes back to his computer and emails Junmyeon.
Hyung. I’m sorry, I think this set won’t do. If you can see something workable, just inform me. I’ll send you another draft soon.
A reply comes in after an hour of going through his folders.
Meet me at my office tomorrow.
And Sehun realizes that a big change has definitely happened to him.
---
Sehun drops tiredly on the small stool beside Junmyeon. The older man gives him a warm smile and a gentle pat on the head. Chanyeol arrives shortly with a pastry bag and hands them to Junmyeon. He then tells them that he will just at Kyungsoo’s office as to not disturb their discussion.
“I see you don’t have your camera with you,” Junmyeon says, after offering Sehun his share.
Today is one of the rare times that Sehun doesn’t bring his camera, any camera, at all. And when it happens, Chanyeol mentions to Junmyeon before, Sehun is bothered with something.
Junmyeon takes out prints of Sehun’s most recent photos and lays them out on his desk. He takes another set of prints, the one he has shown Sehun months before, and puts them beside the new ones.
“Tell me what you see.”
Sehun pouts, but looks over his works. He is not good with words. When people says they can see the stories in his photos, he cannot. He can feel the story, but he cannot form the words that narrates them. One thing he can say is these two sets of photos feel different from each other…
“Like they tell the same story, but in different tones, am I right?” Junmyeon supplies after the long silence looming over them.
Sehun stays silent but nods his head. He himself is confused with this.
“They are not bad; honestly, the ones you’ve recently sent are very beautiful, as usual. But I have to agree that they seem to not work with what you’re trying to achieve on your photobook,” Junmyeon tells him. “Is something bothering you?”
Sehun thinks for a while but when he is about to answer a no, somebody knocks on Junmyeon’s humble cubicle.
Both Junmyeon and Sehun look up to see who arrives and see it is Jongin, again, with manuscripts in hand.
“Sorry, I seem to have disturbed your meeting, but Minseok hyung sent these for later?” Jongin hurriedly puts the materials on Junmyeon’s side desk.
Junmyeon smiles at him. “Thank you Jongin.”
Jongin bows slightly. “No problem, hyung,” he answers. “See you later, Sehun,” he waves his hand a little and takes his leave.
Sehun nods and then keeps his head low when Jongin is out of the cubicle.
“Do you like him?” Junmyeon asks when Jongin is out of sight.
Sehun raises his head abruptly, surprise obvious on his face. The redness on his face is apparent as well, but he shakes his head.
Junmyeon smiles at Sehun’s innocence. Sehun is young but very mature. For someone his age to be highly exposed to the world, the photographer has the experience of a reliable adult, but when it comes to strong emotion, Junmyeon can say that Sehun has no idea how to handle it well.
“Jongin,” Sehun starts, his voice small and soft. “He’s a good friend.”
“How do you find being with Jongin?”
“It’s fun. It’s always fun with Jongin,” Sehun answers, looking at his fingers tracing the borders of his photos. Being with him makes me happy, his mind tells him so.
“I heard you are using a polaroid camera these days?”
When Sehun looks at Jumyeon questioningly, the older just smiles. “Jongin told me so.”
“Oh. Yes.” Sehun opens his handbag. He puts out some polaroids he has taken the other day and shows them to his editor.
Junmyeon takes Sehun’s photos and looks at them with endearment. “You always know what your subject is, Sehun,” he reminds the photographer. “You just have to know what to focus on right now.”
Sehun furrows his brows a little.
“I think you have always set your aperture at f11,” Junmyeon laughs a little. “I can’t believe I’m using photography terms, but won’t lowering the aperture makes your subject more focused?”
Sehun nods. He is confused where this is going, but he just nods at Junmyeon.
“I’m sure your settings are all set.” Junmyeon puts the polaroids down on his desk except for one. He smiles and then places it in front of Sehun. “You just have to choose the correct apperture to see your subject properly.”
Sehun looks at the polaroid. He feels his heart beats widly, knots forming at the pit of his stomach, emotions crashing over him… but he smiles after a while from the realization.
It’s a picture of Jongin’s back.
---
Sehun doesn’t meet Jongin often after that time at Junmyeon’s cubicle. He is not deliberately ignoring Jongin, but now that he has come to know what he feels towards the other guy, he thinks he cannot face him at this point.
They still exchange messages as always. Jongin still sends random photos he captures. The selcas -- Sehun keeps saving them.
One time, Sehun sends a selca and Jongin floods him with stickers and variations of laughters in text form.
“Even your selca is top notch,” Jongin sends afterwards.
Sehun couldn’t stop the blush creeping his face and all he gets to send as a reply is a simple “Thanks.”
---
It takes Sehun a month and a half of repeated drafting for his photobook. Junmyeon assures him that he’s not on a deadline and he can take time with his project. But Sehun tells him that he needs to get this done sooner.
The release of his photobook is plotted after Sehun sends the final draft of his photobook to Junmyeon, with a note, “I’m sure with this one.” Junmyeon replies immediately with a “One month and you’re set.”
A day before the release of his photobook, Sehun goes to Junmyeon’s office to check the final copy of his photobook. He blushes when Junmyeon tells him that he has outdone himself again.
“Thanks as always, hyung.” Sehun picks up the copy of his photobook and takes his leave. He sees Junmyeon waves at him before slightly shouting at his phone with a “Park Chanyeol, stop disturbing Kyungsoo and get in here!”
He walks towards the usual cafe, nervously gripping at the book on his hand. He can see Jongin from outside, already with their drinks ready on the table. He takes a deep breath as he approaches the establishment.
As he nears Jongin, Sehun can feel his heart beating strongly. It’s so painful to the point that he thinks his chest is about to break. He tries to calm himself by taking longer and deeper breaths. When he gets to his own seat, Jongin greets him enthusiastically.
“Hey!”
Sehun doesn’t trust himself with words and suddenly hands Jongin the photobook he is holding.
Jongin slightly raises his brow and takes it with both hands. “Oh, wait, is this your recent work?” Sehun nods. “Junmyeon hyung has been so secretive with this one and doesn’t allow me to get near his station for more than a month!”
Sehun watches nervously as Jongin flips open the cover page. He can feel his knuckles whiten as he sees Jongin browse the book.
His photobook this time, is composed of the polaroids he has taken. A total of a hundred photos taken over the time Jongin has suggested the use of polaroid camera. Sehun sees Jongin breaks into small smiles and chuckles. Sometimes he comments on the photos with “Hey, I remember this one!”
Most of the photos included in the photobook are moments with Jongin and so Sehun is delighted every time Jongin mentions the time at which a particular photo is taken.
When Jongin reaches the last page, Sehun braces himself.
“For the one who lets me capture and experience something bigger than life,” Jongin reads.
“For letting me see what love is in motion, thank you, Kim Jongin,” Sehun continues.
Jongin looks up from the book and sees Sehun holding the same polaroid he took the first time Sehun brought out the polaroid camera. He smiles.
“Will you go out with me?” Jongin asks.
Sehun smiles shyly but nods.
---
Jongin falls first. What started initially as curiosity transpires into something greater when Jongin witnesses how Sehun would put up his camera and get into work. He is taken by storm when he sees Sehun’s eyes shine the brightest after checking what he has just captured. It doesn’t help that they are in an amusement park, where happiness is meant to be felt and experienced.
When Jongin sees the Sehun’s lips curving upwards, he feels as if he wants to take a shot of that moment as well.
And he is able to.
Jongin picks up Sehun’s polaroid camera from the table as the other guy is busy with his drink. He looks into the viewfinder and presses the shutter button. He chuckles when he sees the surprised look in Sehun’s face from the flash.
There it hits him, as progressive as the developing of the photo, how Sehun makes him look forward everyday, and how he looks toward the day that this feeling will develop into something beautiful.