#52 Diamonds in Your Eyes {2/3}

[maknaerulez]

The boy perks up when Jongin enters. He must have been awake and only pretending to be sleeping since Jongin didn't make a grand and loud entry, his steps quiet on the carpeted floor.

Jongin watches with a mixture of amusement, sympathy and regret as the boy scrambles backwards, as far as possible from Jongin, until his back hits the headboard. There is still the same look of terror in his eyes, sparkling with a wave of tears Jongin can already predict will start to fall in three, two, one -

When the first tear starts rolling Jongin walks over to the boy in slow, measured strides. He sits down on the bed, close enough to be able to touch the boy if he reaches out. He doesn't do so, but instead he just stays there, watching as one tear follows the other on their way down, transforming into black stones in mid-air.

Sehun sits there, breathing heavily through his nose, chest rising up and down rapidly. He doesn't move, either too scared or too hopeless, but he is chained, too. He can't run away.

"There," Jongin sighs. "Don't cry. I'm not here to hurt you." Those words don't sound very reassuring to Jongin himself, but he has never claimed to be a good talker. He just states what he is thinking, not bothering to wrap his thoughts in pretty words. Clear and direct, that is his way.

"You said you never get a choice, right?" Jongin says. "Now, I'll give you a choice. You will either let me take a look at your injuries or not. I suggest you to let me take care of them. An infection is quite painful, you know?"

Sehun keeps staring at him. There aren't any fresh tears, only drying tear tracks and the gems in between them, all spread over Sehun's lap and the bed cover. They both are still and silent, and after what seems like an eternity but is probably just a minute in real time, Jongin gets impatient. He speaks up again.

"I don't have all day. I'll take a look at your injuries now. If you swat my hand away, I'll just leave you to your fate. Let those injuries get infected. But really, that wouldn't be so nice because they'd scar your face. Luhan wouldn't be happy about it, you know?"

Jongin is babbling by now, spewing nonsense, which is not very characteristic for him. He isn't much of a talker, but here he finds himself rambling on, just to keep the boy calm. At least he hopes he can keep Sehun calm by talking about everything and nothing while he moves closer, fingers reaching out to touch bruised skin.

It is just a fleeting touch, but Sehun whimpers nonetheless. Jongin almost mimics the lip bite, as if he was feeling the pain, too, but he catches himself. He is not supposed to show too much compassion here. Sehun still needs to know his place.

He tips Sehun's face up by his chin, inspecting the purplish blue areas. There aren't any open wounds, except for the busted lip, at least not on his face. Jongin isn't sure about the rest of his body hidden under an old, smelly shirt and pants.

He pulls back to retrieve the first aid kit from the bathroom. It's been a while since he last had to patch someone up. With their organization growing, he doesn't have to take care of his own injuries anymore. They have skilled people to do that, two or three doctors among their ranks. Jongin could call for Yixing, but his intuition tells him that for now he should be the one to take care of Sehun, showing that he means no harm. He has to make Sehun trust him instead of fearing him.

Jongin works mechanically. Sehun doesn't protest when he is rid of his shirt and pants, but the look of terror is still there. Jongin ignores it and tries not to feel offended - he really did not hurt Sehun in any way - while he dabs at open wounds with a clean, damp wash cloth, disinfecting and applying ointment right after. Once that is done, he gives Sehun one of his own T-shirts and sweatpants to wear. It looks ridiculous on the boy, too big and wide, although Jongin himself is of a rather slim build. How thin must he be? Did he starve himself?

"You'll have to take a bath or shower one of these days," Jongin says. "You stink."

Sehun doesn't laugh like Jongin does, but Jongin supposes it's not funny to be in Sehun's place. Jongin wouldn't laugh either if he was in Sehun's shoes.

Just because Jongin takes care of Sehun's condition doesn't mean that the boy is trusting him all of a sudden though. There isn't much fear in his eyes anymore, but the mistrust is always there, never leaving, and Jongin can't really be mad. After all, he was the one to bring Sehun into this hellhole. It is his fault that Sehun has been mistreated from day one and Sehun knows that, too.

Of course it would be much easier if Sehun could just tell him what makes him produce clear diamonds and other rare and valuable stones, like sapphires or rubies, but Sehun is still not talking to him. The boy seems adamant about being quiet and Jongin almost, almost slapped Sehun for that, but he remembered in time that Sehun needs a lot of care and tenderness right now. If Sehun hates him, that would be close to a game over.

And so Jongin can only guess what kind of tears might turn into diamonds. The prettiest, most valuable jewels must come from the prettiest, most valuable tears, too, right? Is it tears of happiness then? Does he have to make Sehun laugh?

At the thought of Sehun laughing a picture comes to his mind, a scenery he has witnessed a few weeks ago when he was still following the boy around.

Sehun has been sitting in the park then, most likely to enjoy the sun shining down warmly. He was typing away on his laptop, working on assignments maybe, when suddenly a little girl approached him. She gave him a toothy grin and held out a little bouquet of flowers she must have picked around the park. Sehun looked very surprised then, but he smiled brightly when the girl told him it was for the handsome oppa.

Jongin will never be able to forget a smile like that, one that makes Sehun look a lot younger and more innocent than he does now, a smile so wide and radiant that everyone in a close range had to stop and stare.

Sehun's happy smile; that is when he looks the prettiest. Jongin is quite sure that his smile and his happiness is the most precious thing to the people he is close with, and so his tears of happiness must be of even higher value for they must be even rarer. But how does he know what will make Sehun happy, except for returning his freedom, a thing Jongin could never grant him without Junmyeon possibly beheading him and hunting Sehun down afterwards?

If Sehun doesn't tell him, Jongin will have to find out on his own, without asking Sehun. Surely, Sehun is not the only person who knows what makes him happy, right? His close friends and family must know, too, maybe his neighbors and professors, as well.

Jongin doesn’t come up with that idea by himself though. Only after a talk with Luhan does he decide to go hunting for hints in Sehun’s close environment. He has to admit that Luhan is smart, even better in his job that his reputation says. Luhan is known to be able to get any kind of information on people and rumors easily.

Luhan was a bit hesitant about talking to him at first though. Jongin can only guess that Junmyeon must have intimidated him greatly or else Luhan would be fire and flame, knowing that he could contribute to help Sehun just a bit. There is no denial that Luhan still has some interest in Sehun's case. Luhan asks a few questions, seemingly smalltalk, but they are too inquiring to be just casual, and Jongin files him in on all information he can reveal about Sehun and his current condition, as well as his project.

"So you're trying to make him cry tears of happiness?" Luhan asks, a little smile on his face. "That is... ambitious. Usually, people don't cry tears of happiness that easily. You will need to make him really, really happy to do so, and I wish you all the luck to accomplish that. Sehun deserves that after those traumatizing days in the basement."

Jongin nods. "Yeah. But how do I do that without knowing what makes him happy? Sehun doesn't even want to tell me his favorite color. In fact, he doesn't talk to me at all. Not even a thank you after taking care of his injuries." He huffs.

At that Luhan can only laugh. "Well, you don't have to ask him, you know? I'm sure people around him know a bit about him as well. They might not know all details and all his thoughts, but by bringing that knowledge together you can draw a picture of him. Figuratively I mean."

"Is that how you work?" Jongin asks.

"When I'm stuck and can't get the wanted information directly, then yes."

It is not easy to find hints on what might possibly trigger tears of happiness. Sehun is almost an enigma, but Jongin is determined to find out all of his secrets. He thought he knew Sehun’s biggest secret, the one he has been hiding from the world, but apparently, his tears turning into crystals is not the biggest secret. There are a lot of things people don’t know about Oh Sehun, and so Jongin’s hunt for information is frustratingly fruitless. People can only tell him the same thing: Sehun is a good student, popular because of his looks, but a loner. Along with that information come a lot of rumors, most of them ridiculous. They speculate Sehun might be part of the mafia, some even thinking he is a mafia boss, others simply explain his loner tendencies with anxiety, which is probably closest to the truth. Sehun is anxious indeed, avoiding human interaction out of fear of being found out.

Jongin only spends a few hours every day to drive around Sehun’s neighborhood. The rest of the time Jongin spends at home, trying to warm Sehun up to him, with more or less success. Sehun doesn’t flinch away when Jongin comes to take a look at his bruises, but the mistrust is still there. It will probably never go away completely.

It’s good enough though. There is small progress and Jongin is content with taking one step after the other. Albeit not full laughter, Sehun does smile a little. Jongin chuckles quietly to himself when he catches the boy biting on his lip while they are watching some silly action comedy. Good old Jackie Chan, who could resist laughing out loud while watching? Surely, Sehun is no exception, even if he tries his best not to grin.

“What?” Sehun says.

“What?” Jongin asks back.

“You’re staring at me and you’re grinning,” Sehun says. Another progress they have made. Sehun talks a bit now, not much, but he does open his mouth when he has a question or when he wants to voice an opinion, such as I don’t want to eat the carrots or why do you keep giving me milk to drink? I hate milk unless it’s flavored milk. It’s kind of cute, the baby kind of cute, because Jongin sees Sehun more and more like a sweet child by day, a little brother so to say. He feels sorry for kidnapping the other, but at least the boy doesn’t get beaten anymore, right? It could be worse.

“You’re smiling,” Jongin points out then. “I was just surprised. I’ve never seen you smile before. It looks cute on you.”

Sehun stares at him, a scowl on his face.

“Okay, I take it back. You don’t look cute at all.”

Instead of the scowl, there is now a frown on Sehun’s face.

Jongin feels exhausted. Slowly, he is running out of ideas how to make Sehun laugh so much he would have to shed tears. He has used all methods in his repertoire, ranging from watching the most hilarious movies - Jongin has never laughed that much in his entire life, tears springing into his eyes, but Sehun doesn’t even giggle - to telling jokes - either Jongin has a really bad humor or Sehun is a boring person because all those jokes are the best ones recommended by friends and colleagues - and tickling.

Well, the tickles do work. When in the beginning Jongin has been rather cautious with touching Sehun, after two weeks of spending time together, even sleeping on the same bed together because Jongin only owns one, Sehun doesn’t mind Jongin close by. They sit next to each other when they watch movies, and occasionally, Sehun leans against him, snuggling into his side when he gets drowsy. And so one day Jongin tries to tickle Sehun.

Sehun is ticklish, but instead of the clear diamonds Jongin expects to earn, he finds rubies instead, dark red with ugly spots. Sehun doesn’t feel good after the tickle attack and snaps at Jongin afterwards, once Jongin has let go of the boy. At least Jongin knows he doesn’t need to try tickling Sehun again. Sehun has yelled at him, telling him not to touch him ever again, to keep his fingers to himself with more tears flowing, more dotted rubies falling and spreading around the room. It is surprising to draw such a strong reaction, but there might be more to it than simply the dislike towards being touched.

Sehun has been lying though. He still lets Jongin touch him, and at night the boy still curls up to his side. Jongin has long developed a habit of pulling the boy into a hug, spooning him from behind. It is warm like that and comforting, and Jongin feels a weird tingle in his chest and his stomach.

“Still no progress?” Junmyeon asks and Jongin has to let him down again. He still hasn’t found out the formula to make Sehun cry the pretty kind of tears that will turn into diamonds. He has seen a variety of red jewels though, none of them the perfect shape, color or quality to satisfy Junmyeon’s greed though.

“No. I’m doing my best, hyung, really,” he sighs and Luhan looks at him with sympathy.

“You know how much time it takes to get the wanted information sometimes,” Luhan says. “Be patient with the kid. You can’t rush things if you want to get information from sensitive people.”

Junmyeon’s stare is icy when he turns to Luhan, who keeps on a poker face, and Jongin wonders how much more indifferent Luhan has to grow before Junmyeon realizes that it does them no good. There are rumors going around headquarters, among both high and low ranks, speculations of the boss’s possible interest - romantic interest - in one of his closest people. It is not difficult to guess who Junmyeon’s target must be, considering the fact that the rare times he smiles, it is usually when it’s about either his right or his left hand man - Sehun or Luhan. It is Luhan of course. Jongin might not know if they are together or not, but if they are Junmyeon will need to be more willing to relent and compromise or else Luhan will leave, not only as a lover (or a potential one), but also as a close friend and subordinate. Luhan has confided in him, telling him he’s not feeling at home anymore.

“I need to figure Sehun out,” Jongin says then. “And while he does trust me a bit now, it is not enough for him to talk to me about everything he knows about his own ability. I hope it won’t take longer than a month until he does.”

“You hope?” Junmyeon asks, eyebrow raised.

“I promise,” Jongin replies in a more quiet tone. “If it doesn’t work out until then, I’ll let someone else take care of him again.”

“Good. I need you for other missions, too. You can’t sit around to babysit that child all day. Besides, bad crystals are still better than no crystals, and the way I see it you are unable to bring him to tears.”

“Yes, Sir.”

And he is dismissed with a wave of hand again.

Jongin is even more determined to find a way to make Sehun cry diamonds now. He checks Sehun’s background again, cruising through Sehun’s neighborhood and asking people that might know the boy. Even if there is now two, almost three months since his disappearance, there surely must be people knowing Sehun well that Jongin has never talked to before. People that still haven’t forgotten Sehun.

Day after day, Jongin does all that, knowing there is only a small chance for success, but he tries nonetheless. The result is always the same. Nothing new.

“Hey, Jongin,” Sehun asks one day. They are watching a movie together, and while Jongin has been immersed in the plot Sehun seems to be otherwise occupied. He must have been thinking a lot or else he wouldn’t be asking Jongin questions now. Another progress the assassin would think, for Sehun has never initiated a conversation before.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

Jongin stops the movie to turn to the boy next to him. There is some space between them, Sehun refusing all kinds of skinship if it was not cuddling in bed. A result of that tickle attack that Jongin wishes he had never done or thought of. Having Sehun resting his head on his shoulder while watching movies is oddly calming and comforting.

“Well, is there a reason I should not be nice to you?”

Sehun stares at him for a while.

“But… you’re part of EXO, too, right? Aren’t you part of the mafia? Aren’t you supposed to work with… them?” There is mildly disguised disgust in Sehun’s voice when he talks about Jongin’s colleagues, but it’s not like Jongin could blame Sehun. Most of their members are rogues, and only a few are reasonable and somehow still human - in the sense of being proper, moral beings, empathic and mindful of others. Like Luhan and most of their IT people, their nurses and doctors who are not directly involved in the dirty business.

“Not everyone in EXO are that bad,” Jongin says. “If you meet Luhan one day, I’m sure you will like Luhan. He is probably the nicest person here.”

“But why are you so nice to me? Aren’t you a killer? I heard them talking while passing this room.” Sehun bites on his lower lip. “Are you going to kill me one day?”

“I am. But I don’t kill good people like you. I don’t kill children either. You’re still a child.”

“I’m nineteen years old,” Sehun deadpans.

“And still very green,” Jongin counters with a grin. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you.” At least Jongin hopes he’ll never have to; he’s grown too fond of the boy who is like a mirrored picture of his younger self. But who knows if Junmyeon won’t give the order to kill Sehun in the spur of the moment. Junmyeon might be a strategist, but he is not completely free and independent from his feelings either.

It is three days later when Jongin discovers the real reason why he is so nice to Sehun. Luhan has remarked that he has been smiling a lot more lately, that his whole appearance seemed friendlier, his gaze not so fierce, his demeanor not as aggressive as before, but Jongin has shrugged that off. Now he can see the changes within himself, too.

When Sehun laughs loudly for the first time, his whole body shaking with laughter at what Jongin says - he hasn’t even tried to be funny, he just mashed two words together when he was retelling some story he heard of - Jongin is enchanted. Sehun’s laughter is almost magical, like bells ringing, like sunshine. Jongin’s chest hurts just seeing the pair of crescents on Sehun’s face, the nose slightly wrinkled and his mouth wide agape. It should look ugly to him, but it doesn’t. Sehun looks simply beautiful.

Jongin doesn’t quite understand the way his body reacts or why his head became a blank. He flees, leaving a surprised Sehun behind. He runs to Kyungsoo, not wanting to deal with the Diamond Boy for a while.

“Aren’t you supposed to work?” Kyungsoo asks, knowing that it’s Jongin just by the sound of his footsteps. He is still staring at his screen, eyes flickering over every row of code appearing on the otherwise black screen. To Jongin it is just a randomly meshed letter salad.

“Taking a break,” Jongin mumbles and settles on the empty seat next to Kyungsoo where usually Baekhyun would sit and program while simultaneously bothering his colleague.

“Where’s Baek?” He asks.

“Taking a dump. Now reply to my question. Shouldn’t you be working or did you milk Diamond Boy already?” Jongin grimaces at the choice of words because he might or might not have been thinking inappropriately.

“No, he didn’t cry diamonds yet,” Jongin sighs. “But I needed a break. He was laughing and it kind of overwhelmed me, so...”

Now that he thinks about it, Jongin feels silly.

“How so?” Kyungsoo asks, typing so fast that a few strings of code appear on the screen within seconds, momentarily distracting Jongin who really needs some distraction from the laughing Sehun imprinted in his mind.

“Okay, let me guess. He is either hurting your man pride because you feel not taken serious enough or he looks so divine when laughing your chest feels like exploding. If it’s the latter then congrats. You, for the first time since the beginning of times, have fallen in love.”

“What the fuck-“

“Well, didn’t you come here to hear my true and wise words?”

Jongin might have come here for some kind of advice, but that revelation… He couldn’t admit to either of it yet.

“I didn’t-“ Jongin protests weakly but is waved away by his friend.

“Baekhyun’s gonna return soon and I’d appreciate it if you could make some space. Unlike you, some people are taking their work seriously.”

And just like that Jongin is sent away to further reflect on his actions and thoughts. And just like that Jongin has come to the conclusion that he might be crushing on the boy they are holding hostage still. No, he is pretty sure that he does like Sehun a lot, a lot more than he should, and that is complicating things further. Or is it an advantage? Because now it is not only a task to make Sehun happy, but it is his personal wish, too. It would be nice to see Sehun smile and laughe a lot more in the future. And it would be even better if Sehun would smile and laugh because of him, just like earlier today.

It starts with little presents. Jongin has brought Sehun different food every day, trying to find Sehun’s favorite dishes which has proved to be difficult because Sehun is a rather picky eater. Not only that, but Sehun doesn’t tell him if there is a dish among those Jongin serves him that he likes. Jongin has to interpret Sehun’s expressions that stay mainly the same, usually showing disgust only. Now that Jongin knows he is quite fond of the boy, he doesn’t bring different dishes only - he brings a variety of sweets and snacks to eat in between, too, and so he finds out that Sehun has a sweet tooth.

Sehun’s face always lights up, a grin plastered all over it when Jongin brings some cake or a new kind of gummi bears or candy that Sehun hasn’t tried yet. It painfully reminds the assassin that Sehun is still a kid despite his age, his behavior more innocent and child-like than Sehun wants to admit. Sehun still does his best to act strong and tough, even if everyone here has seen him breaking down already.

It is not only delicacies that Jongin brings though. Whenever he is out to find more information on Sehun he tries to find a little present to go along the sweets, too. Sometimes it is a notebook with a pretty motif on it, other times it is a pencil or a bracelet even. Sehun eyes them with suspicion first, but later, the more presents he is given, Sehun accepts them with a little smile and a thank you just as shy.

Jongin doesn’t mind spending a little more of his own money on Sehun when it paints a grin on Sehun’s face. He has long grown accustomed to a happy Sehun - as happy as Sehun can be while still being in hostage, encaged and chained in Jongin’s room - greeting him when he comes back. Sehun’s eyes shine like a child awaiting Christmas presents, and when he receives his little surprise present, his eyes seem to twinkle even more. Jongin knows it is not what he is supposed to do, falling for a boy Junmyeon wants to use like a tool, but he can’t help it. Sehun is still so pure, so untainted, and so different from all the people that have surrounded Jongin all his life, and despite growing up with the mafia, growing up to become part of the mafia, Jongin has always yearned to be someone else, to do something else. When he went to school, a regular, public school, everyone else seemed to be so much happier, so much more cheerful. Jongin wished to lead a life like theirs, but it was impossible when he was not allowed to make friends with kids that were not somehow part of their family.

“Jongin?” Sehun asks, and when Jongin snaps out of it, he finds the boy staring at him.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” Sehun bites on his lip, hesitating for a bit, and Jongin files that expression away, keeping it in his memories and in his heart, the sight of a shy, hesitant Sehun.

“Ask away,” Jongin says and leans back against the door, Sehun standing in front of him, fingers fiddling with the little plush cat Jongin has brought him this time.

“Why are you doing all this? Giving me presents and such. Are you trying to make me talk? Are you trying to make me tell you how I cry diamonds?”

“You’ve been talking a lot lately,” Jongin chuckles. He can sense Sehun’s impatience though, so he decides to be direct. It’s not like he wants to beat around the bush, but this is the first time he is actually liking someone romantically, so he is not too sure how to go about it except for being his usual, direct self.

“If I told you, I doubt you would believe me,” he says, smiling at Sehun’s challenging gaze. The boy has become quite cheeky lately, but Jongin doesn’t mind if that means Sehun is livelier.

“I like you. That’s the reason. You’re a cute kid and I want to see you happy.”

Sehun seems speechless for a while, frozen in place with lips parted, eyes wide. And when Sehun speaks up, his words are truth and the truth hurts.

“If you really liked me you wouldn’t have brought me here. If you really like me, you would have brought me to a better place. If you really like me you would have let me leave this place already.”

If there has been any progress with their friendship it seems like Jongin has destroyed all of it simply with his confession, and rebuilding what they had seems even more difficult than when he started at zero before. Now it feels like he has to put in double the efforts to make Sehun like him again. Sehun doesn’t even cuddle with him at night anymore and that means the boy must be really, really upset. Jongin can only sigh at that, not wanting to admit that he misses holding Sehun.

Jongin wishes he could take it back, but life is not a movie one could rewind or fast forward to a nicer scene, and so he has to live with the immediate consequences. Junmyeon is bugging him again, and despite Luhan coming to his aid and calming down his brother, he knows he can’t avoid it. He might have to let Sehun go back to the basement again, to terror and torture, if Sehun doesn’t give them clear diamonds. At the same time, Jongin doesn’t want to press Sehun too much. His intuition tells him not to, and so it comes as a surprise when he finds Sehun spilling tears that transform into the most perfect diamonds he has ever seen, symmetrical shape, clear and brilliant. It seems almost too easy when all Jongin had to do was to give Sehun a pet cat to hold. Jongin knows it is not that easy though.

The cat is a stray cat Sehun recognizes immediately. “Prince Baek,” he keeps whispering into the furry ball of white, ignoring the poor kitten’s mewling. Jongin watches as Sehun’s lips tremble, but there is a smile edged on them nonetheless.

“How did you find him?” Sehun asks, wiping at his eyes when he lets go of the cat that has been squirming in discomfort, a diamond stuck on his sleeve.

“Prince Baek was in front of your apartment door. It seems like he was waiting for you, at least according to Mrs. Jeon. She has fed Prince Baek since you weren’t there, and she was asking for you. I’m sorry I could only tell her that I was searching for you. She seems to be very fond of you,” he says, recalling his conversation with the old lady living in the apartment at the end of the floor of the same complex Sehun was living in. She was worried about Sehun and Jongin felt bad because he couldn’t tell her the truth. After all, she would most likely be killed if she knew about Sehun being kidnapped by EXO. The woman seemed strong and smart and would most likely call the police to investigate and that Junmyeon would never let happen.

“Mrs. Jeon… She is a good person. Can you say thank her for helping Prince Baek?”

“I wish I could,” Jongin whispers. “But that would mean risking her life. The boss wouldn’t like people to know what happened to you. So let’s keep her safe by not telling her, okay?”

Sehun nods, expression hardening as Jongin collects the shed tears, the diamonds Junmyeon has been talking about for months, the diamonds Jongin has tried to get for weeks.

Jongin delivering two handfuls of the diamonds is enough to keep Junmyeon off their backs for a while. Jongin knows that his brother is greedy, a trait both of them have inherited from their father, although they both know how to control themselves - for a certain period of time. And while Junmyeon yearns for more power and more wealth, Jongin finds himself yearning for Sehun to acknowledge him. He just wants Sehun to talk to him again, and the cat, Prince Baek, breaks the ice between them.

Sehun has been begging him to keep the cat and while Jongin is not a cat person, hating stray cats especially, he has allowed the younger male to keep the pet. He has even gotten a litter box and a scratching post for Sehun’s furry friend, and that had lifted Sehun’s mood a lot, though not enough to trigger more tears of happiness. It is enough for Sehun to talk to Jongin again, a sheepish expression on his face when he apologizes for giving Jongin the cold shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re not the one who decided that. You really do like me, right? That’s why you took care of me and that’s why you give me presents and respect my opinions as well. I shouldn’t be complaining. I apologize for acting like a brat.”

Jongin doesn’t reply to that apology, but he pulls Sehun into a hug, one palm caressing Sehun’s left cheek, the other one rubbing circles into the small of Sehun’s back. Sehun understands without words, head resting on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin couldn’t be any happier.

Junmyeon is demanding, but despite being rushed to get another batch of jewels, Jongin wants to slow down and work on a potential relationship with Sehun who has become rather clingy. It might be a childish jealousy because the cat keeps tackling Jongin and draping itself all over Jongin in his sleep while leaving white fur on his almost exclusively black and dark clothing, but Jongin enjoys it nonetheless, hoping it is also sympathy and maybe more that makes Sehun act that way.

Sehun is cuddling into him at night, arms around Jongin’s body as he presses close, and when they watch movies and even when they just sit on the couch to talk Sehun keeps inching closer to lean against Jongin or cuddle like an oversized, living teddy bear. It is a bit odd, but cute, too, and more often than not Jongin pulls Sehun into his lap now so he can rest his chin on Sehun’s shoulder. It is not the most comfortable position - Sehun is surprisingly heavy - but the closeness makes up for it. And when Jongin presses a little kiss on a bony shoulder while in a drowsy daze one day, Sehun turns around, his eyes questioning.

“Jongin, what are you doing?”

Jongin blinks, slowly waking up. “What?”

“You were kissing my shoulder!” Sehun accuses, uncertainty lacing his tone.

“Was I?” Jongin asks back, still half asleep, half dreaming, and that is why he is daring, not thinking of possible consequences. “I’d rather kiss your lips though.”

“J-Jongin, I…”

He pulls Sehun close, not noting the stiffness of the other’s shoulders or the hesitance in the other’s stance. All he notices is how soft Sehun’s lips are and how nice they feel against his own pair. Sehun’s lips are soft and warm, the way Jongin has imagined them, and in no time he has the boy pinned under him, kissing insistently until they are both out of breath.

“I like you a lot, Sehun,” he whispers, nuzzling his face into Sehun’s neck. “And I would be the happiest man on earth if you liked me back.”

Jongin wakes up the next morning to a Sehun staring at his face, light pink dusting the usual creamy skin. He sits up and stretches his arms, taking note of the sullen expression on Sehun’s face.

“So grumpy early in the morning?” Jongin asks with a chuckle, his amusement fading when Sehun’s mood doesn’t brighten with a stupid remark. Did something happen at night?

“Did you forget what happened yesterday?” Sehun asks, not bothering to conceal how miffed he is.

“Are you upset I fell asleep in midst of the movie?” Jongin tries to guess, but that only makes the boy next to him frown.

“Alright, I don’t know,” Jongin sighs. “Fill me in?”

Sehun watches him carefully for a minute before he speaks up.

“We kissed,” the boy whispers. “I thought you really liked me, but you forgot.”

It takes Jongin a minute to process those words. He keeps staring at Sehun for a long time before he finally moves, pulling Sehun close. He interprets Sehun’s reaction as anger and disappointment and hopes he is right because that means he will get to kiss Sehun more in the future, and not only in his dreams.

“I thought I was dreaming that part,” Jongin whispers back, tone calm and quiet. “So I wasn’t sure if you are okay with it. But if you really are, then I would like to kiss you again.”

Jongin is on cloud seven. He can’t explain why or how Sehun does it, but whenever he is home, with Sehun on his lip, Sehun in his arms, Sehun pressing close to him, happiness courses through him. He doesn’t need Sehun to kiss him, even if it is just their fingertips brushing as they both lay spread eagle on the bed, he feels content. Sehun trusts him, Sehun likes him back, and that is all he will ever need, though he wishes there is more he could do for the boy he loves to dote on.

He can’t really call it dating when Sehun and he can’t go on proper dates. Junmyeon doesn’t give him permission to take Sehun out. Of course Jongin hasn’t tried asking and Junmyeon doesn’t know that Sehun and Jongin like each other either, and even if he knew, Jongin doubts his brother will let go of Sehun and treat him like a free person. Sehun, to Junmyeon at least, is no more than a tool or livestock actually. Jongin is quite sure Junmyeon sees Sehun more like a cow he could milk.

Not going out, all Jongin and Sehun do all day is to spend time together in Jongin’s rooms, watching movies and eating, occasionally doing some sports, a bit of stretching and yoga because Jongin insists on keeping Sehun healthy, a remark that makes Sehun roll his eyes every time, but when Jongin starts the session, Sehun still participates, laughing because they both look silly trying to copy the poses from some videos found on the internet. Jongin has no idea of sports actually.

It’s not much but they are happy, as happy as they can when one is still bound to the rooms. Jongin has to bring Sehun souvenirs and little presents to show him the world outside, reminding Sehun that there is more in this world than the four walls he is stuck in 24/7.

It is never the amount of happiness enough to drive Sehun to tears, but that is okay. Jongin feels rather guilty, now that he is still thinking of schemes to make Sehun cry - order is order. There will be consequences if he doesn’t follow Junmyeon’s words. At least he can save Sehun from the abuse like this, as long as he brings a handful of diamonds each month.

Jongin doesn’t like how he is forced to interact with Sehun, how he has to tickle and playfully tackle and fight with Sehun until there are tears that often turn into rubies of a wonderful shade, clear and free of spots that might lessen their value. Tears that accompany beautiful laughter. Jongin wants to think that those rubies stand for Sehun’s love and passion for him, but he can never be too sure. Sehun doesn’t talk about how he feels often and even now, when Sehun allows their lips to press together, he is not sure if Sehun does love him the same way Jongin loves him. Does Sehun know that he is serious?

He tries to forget that the way he acts around Sehun is not completely driven by his feelings alone, but that is difficult when every other day Junmyeon praises him for his good work, yet still asks for more. Jongin doesn’t know how to explain to his brother that it is impossible to force feelings too much. One wrong move and Sehun’s trust could be shattered, broken forever with no way to glue it back together. And with his trust, Sehun’s love might disappear, too, and Jongin, for once, is greedy and selfish. He wants to keep Sehun’s love and hold it for all eternity, his brother and the mafia, the family he grew up with, suddenly not first priority anymore.

“Jongin,” Sehun says falling right into his arms when Jongin is back from a trip outside. He has been trying to find a little present for his boyfriend - they are boyfriends, right? - though he is not quite sure if he has found a good thing. Sehun might be talking a lot more now, but he doesn’t reveal a lot about himself still, and so Jongin’s hunt for gifts to prove his appreciation is a hunt for an unknown target.

“Hi baby,” Jongin chuckles, one arm wrapping around Sehun’s waist, the other hand holding up a paper bag. “For you.”

Sehun smiles brightly at him, snatching away the bag and pulling out the content. It amuses Jongin how eager he is and how happy he looks with every little thing Jongin brings. There are times when Jongin makes a wrong choice though, like when he brought a movie that had rather upset Sehun. Right now he eyes the other with curiosity, waiting for a reaction.

“This is…” Sehun stares at the book cover, blinking a few times before he looks at Jongin quizzically. “Fairy tales?”

“Yeah. I found it in an antiquaries shop. It’s in German. You major in German, right? And I thought you might like the illustrations,” Jongin says and takes the book out of the other’s hand. He opens it, showing Sehun the pages. He still feels a bit nervous because it is unclear if Sehun likes the book or not.

“Oh, is this Rumpelstiltskin?” Sehun asks as Jongin keeps turning the pages. He stops and stares at the picture of the pretty miller’s daughter, blonde hair almost golden as she was spinning straw. Jongin stares, too, unsure what to say. Is Sehun happy about it or not? His tone doesn’t give it away, neither does his expression.

“Is it your favorite fairy tale?” Jongin ask hesitantly, the silence strange when usually Sehun would talk, chirping like an excited child.

“It’s…” Sehun sighs and retreats, sitting down on the bed. Jongin frowns, unsure how to interpret that, but he follows Sehun’s motion of patting the space next to him, sitting down next to the boy.

“Do you know the tale of Rumpelstiltskin?” Sehun asks and Jongin shakes his head. No, he has no ideas about fairy tales. It wasn’t really his thing, but that might be because he has never been interested in reading much. He wouldn’t have had time for that anyway, his waking hours spent with preparations to become a mafia member the moment he could walk on relatively stable feet.

“Okay, I’ll keep it short then,” Sehun starts, scooting back to lean against the headboard. Jongin follows and sits next to Sehun, one arm slung over the other’s shoulder, the book in his lap, his hands turning the pages as Sehun keeps talking.

“There was once a miller who boasted to the king, telling him his daughter could spin straw into gold. The king let his servants bring the poor girl, and in his greed he orders her to spin straw into gold. He gives her one day to finish off a whole room filled with straw, threatening to behead her if she could not manage it.”

“That’s cruel,” Jongin huffs. “How would she be able to do it? A whole room filled with straw in just one day?” Sehun gives him a long stare that shuts him up, knowing that he shouldn’t be talking about cruelty when he is one of those cruel people, too, killing without any hesitance.

“Anyways. In the story, the girl is not able to do it. Her father was lying, and so she sat in the room and cried, mourning over her short life. But then suddenly a little man appeared, promising to help her in exchange for the gold ring on her finger, a present from her late mother.“

Sehun pauses for a moment. “Do you want to hear the rest of the story?”

Jongin nods.

“The king was happy about the outcome, but he tested the girl another time. He gave her another room, a bigger room filled with straw for her to take care of, and, just like the last time, the little man came in to help her. This time, he asked for her first born child and in her despair, she took the offer and promised her child to the man. And when the king came back the next morning, seeing the whole room filled with gold, he proposed to the girl and they married. The next winter, when her first child was born, the man came to get his part of the deal.”

“Wait,” Jongin interrupts. “That’s not a happy ending. I thought all fairy tales had happy endings. Why is she marrying that greedy king? And now she is losing her child, too?”

“I wasn’t finished,” Sehun says, elbowing Jongin with a chuckle. “So let me finish. The girl cried and begged, so the man gave her three days to find out his name. The first day she tried every name she could think of. The second day she tried every name her people could come up with. And on the third day, one of her servants told her they found an odd man dancing and jumping around a campfire, singing his own name. And so she knew of his name and could tell him. The little man was so angry about it that he ran away, leaving the queen to live peacefully with the king and her child.”

“I don’t like that story,” Jongin deadpans. “So is it your favorite fairy tale or not? If it is then I must question your taste.”

Jongin grins as he hears Sehun laugh. He is tickling Sehun, liking the way Sehun squirms and tries to swat away his hands. He has mercy on the other when Sehun begs for it, asking Jongin to stop with laughter in between, a sound that is music to Jongin’s ears.

“It’s not… my favorite,” Sehun says, still panting softly as he recovers from the tickle attack, arms wrapping around his own body for protection. Jongin lifts his hands, holding them up as a promise to not tickle Sehun again, not so soon that is. There is a grin on Jongin’s face, mirroring Sehun’s upturn of lips.

“Why did you mention it then? You didn’t comment on the other fairy tales.”

“Well,” Sehun starts. “It’s not really my favorite. But you know how they say there might be a little bit of truth in every story told? They changed a lot of the story, but the truth is, a person like that existed. I can’t explain why, but the gold spinning miller’s daughter, she existed. Her story was only twisted later to cover up and to protect her. A servant of the king fell in love with her, loved her for real and not for her ability alone. He ran away with her and they lived a life in hiding. I’m not sure what happened after, but that family… not all were gifted or should I say cursed? With the ability to turn things into desired, expensive materials. It’s not always exactly the same ability.”

Jongin can pick up the shakiness in Sehun’s voice, wishing Sehun would stop talking and calm down, but at the same time he is curious, too. Sehun never tells him anything about himself and this, having the other confide in him, telling him about his family, is a milestone in their relationship, romantic or not. What Sehun tells him now is a treasure for Jongin, greater and more valuable than anything he owns, and Jongin swears to himself that he will keep this knowledge secret and all for himself.

“My mother could turn marbles into pearls, prettier than those found in the best nurtured clams in the sea.”

“I miss her,” Sehun whispers like an afterthought, and when Jongin looks at Sehun, he watches as teardrops turn into stones, the color a deep blue. What does blue mean? Sadness? Some kind of longing? Is that the kind of feeling people are referring to when they say they’re having the blues? How ironic, Jongin thinks, pulling Sehun into his arms. For comfort. For consolation.

“Don’t cry, darling,” he whispers, pressing a kiss on Sehun’s temple. He doesn’t dare to ask what has happened to Sehun’s mother. All he knows is that Sehun is alone, without any family, but did she really pass away or was Sehun separated from her? Could she have been kidnapped, just like Sehun? It hurts him to see Sehun like this for he never wants to see any sad tears on Sehun’s face again. He only wants the happy ones, those that turn into diamonds. Not because Junmyeon is asking for them, but for the sole reason that Sehun deserves to be happy. He really does, and Jongin would do anything to make his Diamond Boy the happiest in the world.

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