#3 All About The Stars {1/2}
Title: All About The Stars
Prompt: #3
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~19000 words
Side pairings: Kai/Krystal, Sehun/Krystal, slight!Kai/Chanyeol
Summary: Jongin is too ambitious for his own good and Sehun is fascinated by him.
Notes: This turned into total teenage angst and I included a quote from Shameless. There are several things that don't make sense, especially the parts about the school system but think of it as artistic freedom.
It's after the spring vacation when an unfamiliar boy enters the classroom, trotting behind Jongin's literature teacher. Said boy looks like he doesn't belong to the crowd of proper black hair, beige uniform pants and azure blue blazers with the school's logo neatly embroidered on the chest. He sticks out with his hoodie, skinny jeans and sneakers that squeak obnoxiously loud on the linoleum floor of their high school. On top of all that, his hair is blonde. Well, it's meant to happen that this new guy will figure out in a while that individuality isn't asked for at this place, Jongin thinks as he eyes the new boy. And he would keep staring if Soojung, seat neighbor and girlfriend, wouldn't have blocked his view by taking a seat in front of him on his desk, shoving all of his stuff to the side. "And then we're going to the N Seoul Tower, only if we got the time of course. I heard that," she pauses, waiting for Jongin to redirect his gaze from the spot behind her, back to her. Noticing the absence of the constant voice he was listening to the moment he entered the classroom this morning, he adverts his eyes from the person at the front of the room to Soojung on his desk. "Hm?" he raises a brow, shooting her a look of confusion. Soojung sighs ever so dramatically, frown spreading on her small face. "What i'm saying is that the trip to Seoul is already in what, a month?" she exclaims, waving her hands to emphasize her words. "I want it to be perfect. And romantic, just us two." the wrinkle on her forehead is slowly vanishing as she talks Jongin observes, intently watching her before letting his gaze slide, grabbing a pencil out of his case. "Yeah. Us two and the whole senior year students." he grumbles. Soojung opens her mouth to protest but she's interrupted when the voice of Mrs Lee, the literature teacher, gets louder. "Everyone should return to their seats, now. Especially Miss Jung," she sends Soojung a warning glance, said girl gracefully getting down the desk and is taking a seat at the table to Jongin's right. "Hurry up, we need to start with the lesson. Also, I need to make some announcements." the teacher continues, voice sounding noticeably lighter than before. "This unexpected visitor is our new student. Please, Sehun, introduce yourself!" The new boy, Sehun, besides her raises a brow at her excited tone but turns to the students, raising his hand. "I'm Sehun." and that's all he says, causing their teacher to change her expectant face expression to an confused one. "Yes, Oh Sehun, you're from Seoul, right?" she prompts, hesitant smile returning back to her lips. Sehun nods, lips spreading into a small grin. "Born and raised." Mrs Lee seems to be satisfied with the answer, smile getting more prominent.
That's the point where Jongin directs his attention from the events at the front of the classroom back to the smartphone on his lap. The lesson proceeds like it normally does, too much knowledge packed into 45 minutes of boredom and monotony. The new student - Oh Sehun, was it? - made the free chair at the back of the class his new seat, just one row behind Jongin. And he's such a cliché with his dyed hair, stussy hoodie and gangster 'I sit at the back of the class' attitude. The clock at the wall shows that the lesson is coming to an end when the teacher dismisses everyone earlier than usually, loud sound of the school's bell not having clanged yet. Everyone excluding Sehun of course. Jongin is about to exit the class as well, bag already thrown over his shoulder as the voice of his teacher stops him. "Kim Jongin, do you have a moment?" she asks from behind him and he should have known it. He closes his eyes for a second in annoyance before he feels like he's ready to face her, turning around with a polite smile on his face. "Of course. what is it?" next to his teacher stands Sehun, some kind of paper map in his hands and a stoic expression plastered all over his face. His gaze bores into Jongin, making the said boy's smile almost crumble when he notices the other's attention on him. But he doesn't let himself get irritated. That's what he's good at. This is his personal supreme discipline. “I'd like to give Mr. Oh in your trustful hands, give him a small tour around the school, will you?” Mrs Lee asks, going through some papers in her hand.“Sure.” His reply follows close, almost eager sounding in order to smother his displeasure. Sehun, who's been awfully quiet until now releases a sound that could be described as an amused snort but when two pairs of eyes turn in his direction, he's keeping a straight face. “Well,” the teacher is laying her hand on Jongin's shoulder, “I'll leave it to you.” She finishes her small speech off with a smile.
He waits until she's out of the room to drop his smile to a much more comfortable expression. “So, where are we going?” Surprised, Jongin turns around to be met with a whole new look on Sehun's face. It can't be considered as a grin but his eyes are alive, vibrant and tinted with interest. He really is handsome, Jongin thinks and for some odd reason, it sets him off. “Well, she expects me to guide you through the whole school and I don't really plan on opposing.” He offers him a strained smile, cautiously covering his state of slight unease. The other boy nods slowly before he sneers. “Right.” he comments briefly before adding, “And it's important what she thinks of you.” It's not really a question but more of a statement coming from his side. “Anything that looks good on my university application is appealing to me.” He answers, apparently unaffected as he walks out of the door, waiting for Sehun to follow him. Said boy understands the gesture and lifts himself off the edge of the teacher's desk he has been sitting on.
The corridors are already filled with students rushing into different directions, alone and in small groups, everything being in its usual flow. Just then, he spots the principle. Merely meters away, talking animately with a student. On a closer look, he can make out that said student is Kim Joonmyun. Excellent grades, polite, the school's head boy and a thorn in Jongin's side. He abruptly turns around to Sehun who raises a brow at the sudden move. “Let's go to the library first.” He says, all too friendly smile present and voice loud enough for Joonmyeon plus teacher to hear. Why shouldn't he use the situation to leave a good impression? So desperate and yet proud. The whole act doesn't get unnoticed by Sehun who has a hard time stifling his laugher, well, it's not that he's actually trying. The mocking snort doesn't seem to irritate Jongin though, instead, there's a look of satisfaction spreading on his face when both, Joonmyun and the Teacher turn their head around in interest, the teacher giving Jongin a friendly smile that said boy reciprocates. The smile falters as soon as Joonmyun is heading in their direction, though. Even more, it vanishes for a second before it returns. Amusing, really. “Joonmyun!” “Hey Jongin!” Joonmyun chimes in, his facial expression displays similarities to Jongin's strained smile but comparing them, Sehun comes to the conclusion that something about the neat boy's smile is different. Oh right, it's a real smile. The latter is now standing in front of Sehun, with him, his kilowatt smile. Far too bright for Sehun's taste. “And you are?” “Oh Sehun,” he answers, all easy smile and confidence. “The new student from Seoul.” There's recognition flickering on Joonmyun's face. The move doesn't get unnoticed by Jongin as well and Sehun catches the frown on his face.
Suddenly, Jongin's smartphone vibrates in his pocket. Without much fumbling, he gets the device out of his pocket, glancing at the display. It's a text from Baekhyun.
From: Baekhyun
come to the practice room asap we got a problem
"Seems like i got something urgent to do," he says absentmindedly, eyes already glued to his display before he adverts his gaze back to Sehun, faux smile plastered on his face. "I'm sure our good old friend Joonmyun here can help you." he says, patting the shoulder of a very confused looking Joonmyun. "But-" before Sehun has the chance to say or do anything, Jongin turns around and leaves.
As Jongin jogs down the hallways to the direction of the practice room he suddenly feels ridiculous for leaving just because Baekhyun claims that he needs to come over urgently. Maybe it's just one of his stupid jokes, which wouldn't be so surprising, actually. When Jongin arrives at the dance studio, he rushes through the door. "Where's Baek?" he shouts, audibly panting while he catches his breath. There's half of their dance team, including Baekhyun who just got out of the locker room, phone in his hand. "God gracious, there you are." he sighs exaggeratedly before his expression does suddenly turn more serious. Which is really really bad since Baekhyun isn't the type to be serious. "Hey, Jongin. You better sit down, I've got something to tell you." Baekhyun pauses, before adding "and the rest of the team, too." Jongin feels his lips getting dry, okay this doesn't sound good. Far from it. He sinks on the floor taking on a cross legged position as the rest of the team mimics the action, everyone sitting more or less down in a circle. "So ... what's up?" Jongin questions out hesitantly, eyes nervously observing Baekhyun who's facing him from the other side of the circle. Seems like he's not the only one who's nervous. Everyone is, exchanging confused glances and raised eyebrows. Especially Baekhyun himself, who takes a deep breath before he speaks up. "So, the dance competition is on the first October, right." it's not a question. "Well, Yixing called me today and told me that he's going back to China, family thing and all," Baekhyun pauses, aware that everyone's eyes are on him. "He'll be gone in September."
“Fuck.” Jongdae, member of the dance team, is the first one to break the silence. And yes, that's what's going through everyone's mind right now. Because they are all aware that Yixing is, or was, one of their best dancers. If not the best out of them. They already started practicing the choreography for the competition, which includes all members while Yixing and Jongin are supposed to take over the main part and a solo. Without him, they don't stand a chance of winning. it's a huge loss, they'll be at disadvantage and everyone is aware. Jongin feels his throat closing up. “What should we do now?” Someone else asks and Jongin feels multiple pairs of expecting eyes staring at him. The thing is, he has no idea what to do. He's equally as lost as the others are. If not more.
Just then, the door to the dance studio opens. Everyone turns their heads too see the intruder. It's Oh Sehun, looking inside the room with a stoic look on his face. “Is this the dance studio?” Someone must have acklnowledged him because he doesn't leave but Jongin doesn't have time for this right now. He should probably tell Sehun that he has to leave now.
Said boy lifts his hand up as if waving halfway. "Yo, I'm Sehun." His monotone voice matches his face, Jongin thinks as he slowly gets up from the floor, slandering over to the other guy. “I wanna audition for the dance team, are you the captain?” From up close, he noticed that the guy is even taller than he thought. He's a tad taller than Jongin himself, towering the other by a few centimeters. It really pisses him off. “This is a really inconvenient time,” Jongin starts before he pauses. What if... This could be their only chance. “You said you were interested in joining the team, yes?” He asks once again, eyes now more awake. Sehun nods. He pauses.
“Dance for us and we will see if there's one more spot for an additional member.” Sehun nods at that. “Sure.” He replies courtly, taking off his jacket. He needs to dance well Jongin repeats like a mantra over and over in his head, please please please. By now, the rest of the team has gathered at the mirror wall, leaning against it while Jongin heads for the stereo equipment. “Are you okay with anything?” Sehun nods in reply, taking his snapback swiftly down to run his long fingers through the blonde wisps of his hair before pushing it back onto the top of his head. The mixtape is good, nice beat and one of Jongin's favorites. And then, he looks at Sehun.
There's still hope.
-
Jongin leaves the dance studio with a pleased expression. Sehun has been better than expected. More than that, he's good, really and truly good. After his performance, everyone had been clapping furiously because they all knew that they were back in the game. Sure, there's no guarantee that Sehun will be the key to success but now they have someone who's capable of dancing Yixing's part. The only thing Jongin is worried about is that Sehun will need some private lessons, since they will be dancing the main part together. They need to be compatible.
But for now, he's content with how things turned out.
Arriving at home, he's greeted by nothing but a small note on the kitchen counter. “Don't forget to start studying for the university entrance exams, there are a few new books on your bed. Read them.” That's it. When he enters his room, his predictions are proven correct. “The Rule of Law” under a copy of “Glanville Williams: Learning the Law” lay on his bed. Jongin changes into sweats and a long sleeved shirt before he heads out. He wheels his bike out the garage and puts his headphones on. The ride isn't far but he needs a distraction. Really badly, actually.
There's a small lake, not too far away, nothing special but it's a nice place to meet up after school on hot summer days. As Jongin arrives at the lake that day, bike already disregarded at a tree, Sehun is already there. “Jongin!” Someone roars and in the next second, a paper cup is being pushed in his hand. “Hey,” He shouts to no one in particular, planting himself down in between Baekhyun and someone else. It doesn't take much time until he's feeling comfortable. The alcohol has reached his head by now and it feels good, being surrounded by people he knows well and fitting in without trying to impress anyone. He's able to relax and to switch off all of those thoughts that float in his head to the point of drowning him. Trailing his eyes over the whole scene, the green grass and a small bonfire someone made in the sand, a few meters closer to the water, he spots Sehun. Said guy is talking animately with two girls. “Do you know what I mean?” it comes from his left but Jongin doesn't even realize that he's been part of a conversation for the last few minutes. Instead, he stands up, wobbly but still with grace. And Jongin starts to question who made the drinks, like, what ratio is that, 90 percent vodka and 10 percent orange juice? Doesn't matter, everyone's far gone by now.
“Sehun!” Jongin hears himself shout. It comes out as a slur. And Sehun turns around, cigarette between his lips. Without a word, he leaves his earlier company and strides over to Jongin, who sat down on the sand, oblivious to his prior action. “Jonginnnn.” he calls out with a smirk, arm sliding around Jongin's shoulders who flinches in surprise before he returns the gesture. “Sehun, my hero and savior,” he exclaims, patting Sehun's back in response. “It's always a pleasure to help.” he takes a drag from his cigarette before adding “especially when it's you.”. Jongin crinkles his face in exaggerative confusion because did the other really just wink? “The fuck you're saying?” the high quality response he receives from Sehun is a loud snort, followed by a laugher. And then, Jongin starts to laugh too, because why not. Sehun's laugh is kind of funny, not exactly loud but it reminds him faintly of a donkey. In all honesty, it's quite the pleasant realization because there should be a part of him that's not attractive. Problem is, Jongin realized another thing. He's somewhat attracted to stoic guys with a dumb donkey laugh and it's tragic. And that's how the afternoon turns into evening and evening turns into night. Both, Jongin and Sehun have taken off their shoes to feel the sand beneath their feet. Someone came by and lit the bonfire once again, the latter being the only source of light since the sky has turned into a deep and dark blue. It's a starry night and Jongin can't take his eyes off the stars. They are both lying on their backs in the sand, side to side, the chatter of the other's filling the background. “This is beautiful.” Jongin blurts out. Sehun nods before pointing at the sky. “Do you see that bright one? It's the North Star.” He says, sounding ridiculously proud. Jongin squints his eyes. “That's a satellite, though.” “Oh really?” “Yeah.” Jongin mumbles quietly, preoccupied by the view that displays above him. The fire has meanwhile almost burned down, the wind isn't strong but a cold breeze drives small waves against the shore. Quite suddenly, Jongin sits up and feels the wind blowing coldly in his face, causing an abrupt feeling of soberness washing through him. The events of today return to him and he glances over to Sehun who's still lying in the sand, head on his crossed arms and eyes focused on the sky. “Hey,” he starts as he pulls his knees close to his body before wrapping his arms around them in a comfortable position. His approach gets acknowledged with a low hum, the other boy still absorbed in the starlit sky. Jongin reaches out for a lone branch, hidden in the sand and sticks it absently in the flames of the bonfire. “Sorry about today,” he starts. “I shouldn't have left this morning.” He has the other's attention now. “It's alright, we're good.” Sehun yawns, lifting himself up the ground to sit next to Jongin. “So, how is it, living in Seoul?” he asks, suddenly aware that he knows practically nothing about Sehun. Aside from the fact that he's a phenomenal dancer, looks too good in a way that sets Jongin off and is a few centimeters taller that he himself. What surprises him even more is that he actually wants to know more.
“It's different. Different Lifestyle, lots of people, you know. Not like here. I mean, where are all the people?” he exclaims, waving his hands through the air in an attempt to make vague gestures. Jongin snorts. “It's alive, Seoul never sleeps, Seoul is loud and angry but peaceful.” “And why did you come here?” Jongin counters, taking his hands form his knees and winds them around his upper body because he suddenly regrets only wearing a thin cotton shirt but he doesn't want to leave. Not yet. Meanwhile, Sehun watches him with an amused grin. “Trust me, I don't intend to stay for long.” He states, stretching his legs out flat on the sand. “My parents gave me an ultimatum, I either stay at my school and live with them, in their custody of course, or they'd just let the school throw me out before I can graduate in some dump where my uncle lives. Surprise Surprise, I chose the option which wouldn't make me my parents' slave for the last months before I can finally get away. And now i'm here.” He drawls out at the end, the look he's throwing at Jongin being a mix of anticipation and boredom. “They kicked you out?” Sehun can only hide his grin at the obvious tint of incredulity also shown on Jongin's face.
“What did you do?” he asks after a few moments, his tone comprising a hint of excitement. Maybe it's the cheap alcohol or the whole atmosphere, only the bonfire and the pale moon illuminating their faces, but Jongin feels eagerness creeping at his sides, interest flaring inside of him. As if he'd get some kick out of this, talking with someone who holds a whole lot of promises of a world filled with unknown thrills and taboos. “Well,” Sehun starts as he buries his bare feet deeper into the sand. “Let's save this for another time.”
-
After that day, Sehun starts to become a fixed member in Jongin's “inner circle”. It begins with Jongin coming to school, heading for his usual spot where Baekhyun and Jongdae are already chatting with Sehun. All of them look up when Jongin arrives, Baekhyun gracing him with a warm smile and really, nothing changes, Sehun blends in. Even later on when Soojung and Jongin join up with the other's, Sehun is already there, a girl that Jongin recognizes as one of Soojung's friends touching his arm while they are apparently discussion something.
The thing about Sehun is that he blends in but stands out. Easy as that. They talk more frequently and after a while, he gets used to the pale boy's presence. It's quite nice to hang out with him and he's something new to Jongin, something interesting. Sehun is confident, outspoken and carries some kind of lazy composure which everyone seems to find irresistible. And the people are casually accepting the fact that he's here as if he's never been away. That's also what Jongin tells Baekhyun when they both meet up at the rooftop after their last period. It's not an unusual place to get together, more of an occasional insider meeting place that the most people know about anyway but it still has something secretive about it. Today, there's no one but them up there, everyone having the intention of leaving school as soon as possible. Aside from the dance club, obviously. Their free time is momentarily almost nonexistent. The sky is kind of white greyish today, depressing and spiritless. Even the people look sort of colorless today, pale and monotone while they keep rushing out of the classrooms. How repetitive it all looks, Jongin thinks as he leans down to take a look at the students hurrying out of the school's gateway.
From up here, he has the perfect view to see the overall picture, a general view. Baekhyun is typing on his smartphone, leaning with his back against the railing. What a waste. “That's good, isn't it?” The smaller one responds while he's finally taking his eyes away from the display to smile at Jongin who has furrowed his brows, looking as if he's engrossed in thought. And then he's suddenly smiling, flashing his typical stereotypical Jongin smile that Baekhyun recognizes as the one he's using when he intends to mask his true feelings. Something he discovered after being friends with Jongin for quite some time. Baekhyun suppresses the urge to roll his eyes in a good natured way at the other's antics and snakes his arm around Jongin's shoulder, pulling both of them down to the stairways that lead to the rooftop, both stumbling due to the height difference. “Stop worrying so much,” Baekhyun laughs as they head towards the dance studio and he feels something similar to pride swelling up inside of him when there's a real smile forming on Jongin's lips. “He really likes you, give him a chance, will you.” he adds before they enter the halls and Jongin's expression falters for a second. He doesn't reply and enters the studio instead.
-
The day of the competition comes closer and due to that, dance practice takes place far more often and much longer than the usual. It's already dark outside when Jongin claps in his hands and shouts out an energetic "Enough for today!" The music stops and chatters start to fill the room while everyone's heading for the lockers, water bottle in one hand, blanket in the other. Jongin stays behind and stretches. In the last months, his back has gotten worse. Soomi, member of the dance club suggested that he should stretch more throughly and to his own surprise, he acted on her advice, staying in the studio. One after another, the other members pass him in order to leave, a quick bye on their lips until Jongin is almost certain that he's the only one left. He's on all fours, upper body carefully bent down while his lower half is up in the air when he hears steps coming from the lockers. He turns his head around, it's really uncomfortable from this degree but he manages to get a look at the intruder. It's Sehun, sport bag slung loosely over his shoulder. One of his eyebrows is lifted up while he's curiously eyeing Jongin. "What are you doing?" he asks in an amused tone. "Stretching." it's even harder to speak when your mouth is cages between your arm and the floor Jongin notices, so he tries to get his head once again in a steady position even if he cannot look at Sehun this way. Honestly speaking, he already did that more than enough. Sehun seems to consider his reply before asking him again "Yes, but why?" Jongin was still staring straight ahead in the direction of the mirror wall before he turns around once again to look at Sehun. "The pain in my back has gotten worse and stretching is supposed to help if we trust Soomi." "Ah," Sehun keeps staring at him and Jongin isn't even sure wether he's really looking at him or just randomly staring holes in the air when Sehun starts to move further to the door with a quick "Gotta leave now," Face almost expressionless. Just when he's about to open the door, he halts. "You look like you want to take it up the ass."
With a glare, he flips the bird at him but Sehun brushes it off with a laugher. "fuck you" he bites, voice coming out as a muffled sound in account of his uncompromising position from the floor. Sehun laughs again, it's a genuine laugher, smile reaching his eyes. "See you tomorrow, Jongin." the grin is still on his lips when he pushes the door open. Sehun's humor is terrible, Jongin thinks as he's getting up, looking at his reddish face in the mirror.
-
A few days later, he calls Sehun over in break time to inform him about their private training on friday. Since both of them need to perform the solo and main point of the dance choreography, they came to the conclusion that it's necessary to practice as much as possible without the others. Even if both of them are fairly good, there's something missing in their dynamic. Maybe it's the way they contrast. Captivating perfection and sort of sharp movements next to a lazy kind of clumsy but enticing flow. Sehun agrees. Both of them have been on much better terms these days, Jongin coming to accept the addition to his clique and Sehun isn't someone you can easily dislike. Aside from his awful disinterest he portrays on his face when he's not wearing his sinful grin of his. He's cool, easy to talk to when he wants to and Jongin is aware that the other boy has taken some kind of interest in him. But there's still something odd about him, maybe it's the way he subtly observes him or his natural habit to be everywhere. Well, it doesn't really matter right now because odd or not, Sehun is going to dance with him. Another thing is that, if there's one thing he truly wants at the moment, Jongin wants to win. He needs this. So badly.
Jongin is sitting in the dance studio's changing room on one of the benches in front of the lockers, earplugs stuck in while he nods his head slightly to the beat. Suddenly, there's darkness, palms covering his eyes. Jongin's breath hitches, earplugs falling out due to his sharp movement. “Guess who?” A voice whispers close to his ear. “Sehun?” he says, trying to hide the hesitation in his voice. As soon as he said his name, Sehun retracts his hands and Jongin blinks repeatedly against the sudden incidence of light. “Surprise,” he deadpans from behind Jongin with a tint of mockery before Jongin hears a ruffling noise. He turns around an there's Sehun, already clad in his black sweatpants and currently hovering over his sportsbag, rummaging through it in search for something. When he found the desired object, he takes it out and pulls the school uniform's shirt over his head, back still directed to the other. The flexing of his back muscles doesn't get unnoticed by Jongin who takes a closer look when the shirt is over Sehun's head. He gulps. There's a feeling of uncertainty rushing through him and he abruptly gets up from the bench, almost dropping his phone. In an instant, he's aware of how quiet it is. The only sound audible is the beat of the song he's been listening to still blasting out of the long forgotten earplugs, Sehun's and his own constant breath and the rustling sound coming from Sehun's clothes. It's really calm, somehow, not even uncomfortable but merely peaceful. “Are you done?” Jongin asks, pulling the plugs out of his phone as he walks slowly out of the changing room, right to the studio. A muffled “Yeah,” comes from behind and for unknown reasons, Jongin feels the corner of his mouth lifting up.
“You seem so composed. Like nothing could destroy your world.”
Putting his phone on the dock station, the strong bass that announces their first part starts playing. The playlist includes several songs and beats they need to blend in one way or another. Sehun joins him in front of the mirror wall and meets Jongin's eyes in the mirror. “Stop looking at me like this,” Jongin mutters, slightly unfocused but still intending to sound friendly enough. “Like what?” comes the retort, Sehun's brow lifting up and there it is again, that mocking expression. But he's not the only one who can play like this, Jongin thinks as he tilts his head to one side with a similar expression. “Forget it.” Sehun is standing so close to him but their eyes are still directed to the mirror. As if Sehun's actually not as close as it seems, giving Jongin the wild eyes. That's what he started to call the thing Sehun does with his eyes when he's staring basically right into his soul, as if all of his attention is projected on him with such a great amount of interest. As he said, wild eyes. The mood is somewhat good, intense but for some reason, both of them feel extremely content. Time passes by and their breathing gets louder with every song while the sky turns into a dark azure blue but none of them really feels like stopping nor to turn the morbidly shrill lights on. And they do get better, there's an improvement after every exchanged smile and every friendly pat on the back that makes everything so easy.
Jongin doesn't know how much time passes until the playlist ends. Along with the last bass drop, he lets himself fall onto the floor, material cold against his sweaty back. It doesn't take long until Sehun beside him does the same, long exhausted limbs falling down to his right. There's silence, only their heavy breathing filling the dark room. Both are panting, chests heaving up and down. Jongin closes his eyes, the feeling of fatigue spreading through his body. The sound of breathing becomes more quiet and regular, almost forming a calming rhythm. It's the soft touch of a pair of lips pressed against his that causes him to open his eyes abruptly, pulling him out of his reverie. As fast as the touch came, it's gone. But what stays is Sehun, hovering above Jongin with dark eyes that bore into him. His fringe falls down his face, soft strands looking almost white in the little amount of light that the moon provides through the small windows on top of the walls. Jongin feels somewhat caged with the way Sehun's pale hands find support on either sides of Jongin's head. He opens his mouth when Sehun starts to say something "I-," Jongin shrinks back at the timbre voice breaking the silence, only now realizing what exactly happened. “It's- it's alright. It was a mistake.” He blurts out quickly, his voice sounding foreign and different in his own ears. And before Sehun can say anything else, Jongin is out of the door, grabbing his bag with a swift move and then he's gone. Out of the studio and away from Sehun. His steps get faster, the clicking audible on the linoleum floor and he only stops when he's outside the school building. As soon as he breathes in the fresh evening air, he halts and hides his face in his hands before he runs his fingers through his locks in a state of total confusion. What the hell was that? Leaning against the brick wall of the building, he closes his eyes for a mere second to clear his mind. His heartbeat is finally calming down when the buzzing of his mobile causes him to flinch. There's one message from Soojung and another one from his mother, telling him to come home immediately. So she's back. Good to know. With a sigh, he stuffs the device deep in his trouser's pocket and pushes himself off the wall to saunter in the direction of the gate. From there on, it's only a shirt walk to the next bus station. Jongin is still hyperaware of the tingling feeling that's shooting through his body.
The bus station is sheltered and equipped with a not so comfortable looking iron bench, illuminated by a flickering lightbulb. The timetable on the glass wall of the station shows that his bus arrives in a few minutes and he decides to sit down on the bench. Now that he has time for himself, he's aware that he has no idea of what to do. How is he going to face Sehun and what is his plan, what is he trying to do. His thoughts are like a giant tangled web that he can't conquer. To him, behind everything, there's an intention. So what is it that Sehun wants? The bus arrives in the distance and only now Jongin notices, that it started to rain, the drops visible in the headlights coming from the front of the bus. He gets up and offers the bus driver his student ID as he enters and looks for a seat. The bus is relatively empty, merely a woman with her child and a man with a book in his hands. He goes for a seat at the back, propping his chin on his flat palm and looks out of the window, the raindrops floating down the window. With a rumble, the bus starts to move in a slow pace.
-
The next day starts in chaos. It's already past eight when Jongin wakes up, he curses under his breath and is already half dressed when he walks out of his room. It's too quiet, as if he's the only one in the house and well, he probably is. No wonder that no one woke him up. The last night has been stressful, more thinking than sleeping to summarize it all. Jongin has always been a person who's naturally sleepy and he had fixed this self-proclaimed “malfunction” with a well-kept routine that consists of enough sleep (very important) and a constant awareness just as a neat appearance. But today, there's no time for all that. Everything is wrong today, he feels agitated and in a rush when he arrives at school, hair unruly for his standards and crumpled shirt, that he fished out of the corner of his room. This shouldn't be happening to him, he can't let his guard down. His math teacher gives him a disapproving look when he slips into the classroom and slides down on his usual seat. The thing is, he only needs to make one mistake in order to stain his white west, everything he has achieved until then will be forgotten because it will blend in the shadow of this one blemish. And he needs to be the exemplary student in order to get what he wants. He doesn't want to end up like this, forced in the role of a law student. He knows what he wants. And what he wants is Dancing. Professional Dancing. In Seoul. Only the best students get a scholarship, therefor it's necessary to receive it or he won't be able to get away. Jongin just knows it. So yes, he can't let himself be distracted right now.
During the rest of the lesson, he doesn't spare a glance at anyone, especially not at a certain guy who has his stoic eyes directed to the front of the class as if Jongin wouldn't exist. But that's good, really. He doesn't have time for this. Not right now. Sehun has already done enough damage, at least that's what he tells himself. To his big surprise, later on, when they meet up in the break time, nothing has changed. Sehun treats him like nothing happened. “What was up with you this morning?” It comes all of sudden, Sehun running his fingers though Jongin's hair that still looks kind of messy. It's a harmless action, nothing special, but Jongin still feels his pulse quicken. Unconsciously, he looks around if someone saw. No one did, everyone thinks of it as something normal and Jongin thinks he might be overacting. His gaze drifts to Sehun who catches it and he feels caught red-handed when his eyes meet Sehun's for a second who does his signature eyebrow lifting move, quite likely aware of Jongin's reaction to his prior move. Sehun grins, turning back to someone he was talking to earlier. And Jongin does the same, feeling his face burning. “Right, how did that happen?” Baekhyun's question tears him violently out of his thoughts. “Well,” Jongin shrugs, rubbing his eyes with his flat palm to get rid of the feeling of fatigue that makes itself apparent once again, “I overslept.” “What, even the perfect Jongin oversleeps?” Sehun again. His voice sounding teasing. “I couldn't sleep.” Jongin states, void of any emotion, staring Sehun straight in the eye. There's something like realization in Sehun's eyes and they lighten up for a second, no sign of guilt visible though. Fuck Sehun.
-
It continues like this in the next week, everything's back to normal but then it's not. Not really. Soojung is sitting on Jongin's desk and he can't help but to feel a bit bad. He really neglected her in the last days and what he feels even more guilty about is the fact that he didn't even realize it. And Soojung is not dumb, far from it, there's disappointment visible in the way she looks at him because she knows that he'd rather not have this conversation right now. “Promise me that you'll be there for me when we are in Seoul. Please.” And he agrees of course, he promises it to her and kisses her on the lips, in front of everyone else. The wrinkle on her forehead is vanishing and there's a genuine smile on her lips. She's really beautiful, always were. Jongin reciprocates her smile. Then she gets up,announcing that she'll be back in a second. Before she leaves, Soojung turns around for a last time and whispers in his ear. “You need to make up for some things, so keep your promise, Jongin.” Jongin nods. He knows that he hasn't been the best boyfriend in the last weeks, ignoring her on purpose and being kissed by other boys. But oh well. Soojung doesn't know that and for now, he doesn't plan on changing that. He takes his water bottle out of his backpack when someone else takes a seat on his desk. He looks up and there is Sehun, looking absentmindedly through his things.
"So, Soojung and you, hm?"
"Soojung and me what." Jongin deadpans. Seems like Sehun saw the whole thing as well. How satisfying. “You're still together?” He asks in an exaggerating manner. “Why wouldn't we be?” Jongin presses his lips together. “It didn't seem like you, I don't know, cherish her. You don't care about her. You don't want her to come when we hang out and I literally saw how you ignored her calls. Don't you think that's strange?” “You don't have to understand our relationship.” Jongin counters, slightly confused by the sudden outburst. Sehun smiles. “You're right. I don't.” “What are you two talking about?” Soojung is back, still in a good mood but a small frown visible when she spots Sehun. “I just told Jongin that he doesn't really appreciate you.” He blurts out before Jongin can say something. Oh. Her frown deepens and her piercing stare is now aiming for Sehun. "What do you mean?" Sehun doesn't flinch under her intense glare, it's rather the contrary. "I think you're ignoring the fact that Jongin here doesn't even think about you when you're away." He says, without hesitation. The tone of his voice sounds almost challenging. The thing about Soojung is that she's not someone who's easily intimidated. She's self-confident, stubborn and most of all doesn't give by. That's why it's more than a little surprising to Jongin that she shrugs after a while of holding his gaze with a muttered "Whatever." Sehun is still smiling as he's gracefully getting off the desk and returns to his own seat. Immediately, Jongin turns to Soojung. “You know that's not true. He's an idiot.” Soojung seems to be in thoughts. She hums in reply, her hand on his upper arm. “I know. It's still strange.” “What is?” She shakes her head. “Nothing. But he's right, pay more attention to me.” Jongin grins, relieved that she didn't take it the wrong way. “I will, no worries.” And they kiss again, aware of the fact that a few pairs of eyes observe them. Soojung being obviously satisfied with the situation.
As soon as the school's bell rings and everyone's leaving, Jongin waits in the corridors for Sehun to come out. There he is, talking with a girl Jongin recognizes as one of Soojung's friends who has obviously taken an interest in the tall guy. All of sudden, he feels annoyed by Sehun. But the latter has already spotted him and walks in his direction. “Yo Jongin,” He calls out, raising one hand. The girl next to him waves him goodbye, glancing curiously at Jongin. It looks like Sehun wants to say more but as soon as the other students are out of sight, Jongin hits his arm repeatedly. “What the fuck was that?” He bites out. And he knows that the other knows what he's talking about, so he continues his assault. And Sehun lets him, a fond expression on his face. “Are you done?” Jongin manages it to scoff. “No,” he mutters, but he stops. Together, they walk to the dance studio. As they arrive, Jongin halts, covering his face with a groan. Sehun looks at him in surprise. “Shit, I need to go.” “What, why?” Sehun asks, confused. Jongin sighs. “I promised Mrs. Lee to undertake the cleaning duty for this week in the literature classroom. Tell the others I'll be there in a few.” He shouts over his shoulder, already jogging in the opposite direction.
-
A few days later, Jongin makes the same mistake. He's at the dance studio, already wearing a pair of grey sweatpants when he remembers that he needs to go up to the literature class. He walks up to Baekhyun who sat down on the floor. “Can you make sure that everyone warms up while i'm away? Excluding Sehun, he needs to practice the dance steps if the final, and-” Baekhyun interrupts him. “Sehun is not here.” Jongin looks confused for a second but then, he shrugs it off. “Alright, got to go now.” Is his reply, before he's pushing the door open.
The walk through the school building is lonely, most of the students already gone. The classroom is on the first floor and he wants to be quickly over with it so he hurries up. He doesn't even find it suspicious that the door of the classroom is already open even though Jongin has the key. Carelessly throwing his backpack on the floor as he halts all of sudden, because there's something hunched in the corner. On second glance, he can make out two people huddled on the floor, entangled in each other. The familiar back of a female faces him, sprawled over the lap of another person whose face is covered by the female's figure, only a soft tuft of blonde hair being able to make out. Jongin's breath hitches. He turns around on his heels, heading back to the door, out of the room, as he stumbles over his long forgotten backpack. The shuffling noises are haltering and Jongin knows that there's no way they haven't noticed him. Slowly, he turns around, meeting one equally shocked pair of eyes and another pair of brown orbs that look back at him, oddly calm. The silence expands for a few more seconds. It seems like they, or rather Soojung, are expecting him to explode. And really, why isn't he? Walking in on his girlfriend making out with his, well, with Sehun - why does he feel so numb. Jongin shifts his eyes over to the Sehun. Said boy leans back against the wall, eyes boring in Jongin's own, hair disheveled as he licks over his unnaturally red looking lips.
"Jongin, I-" It's Soojung, her voice sounding shrill and too loud after the quiet. She doesn't finish her sentence, noticing that he's not acknowledging her, his eyes still focused on the other guy, who returns his intense gaze just with the same amount of immersion. "I," she starts again, pausing before she whispers in defeat "I think I should leave." There's no reply.
Jongin hears the clacking sound of her shoes getting more faint before slowly fading into the familiar silence. He doesn't know how much time flies by until he finally moves, grabbing his backpack from the ground and walking out of the classroom. He's not surprised when he feels someone following him, far from it, he's also aware that Sehun knows where he's heading to. Neither of them says something, passing the corridors until they arrive at the much more narrow stairs that lead up to the rooftop. It's Jongin who's taking the lead, the other boy strolling behind him, hands deeply shoved into the pockets of his pants. The first thing Jongin does when he pushes open the door is taking a deep breath. Sehun behind him, who appeared unconcerned until then, passes him with slow steps. it only takes a few steps until he's standing at the railing and it only takes seconds for the other to stand beside him. Sehun shifts his gaze from the sunset that colors the sky in the nicest shades of orange and rose to his right, eyeing the beautiful boy beside him and he can only think about how cliché this all is and that even the most beautiful colors look boring compared to Jongin. The mild breeze gets more apparent when the fresh air blows Jongin's bangs in all directions. He feels the others eyes on him and he hears a small voice telling him not to look to his left but it's just so so tempting. And Jongin has never been good at resisting. That was a mistake is all he thinks as his eyes lock with the blonde's. The look he gives him is so strong and it makes his chest ache. It feels like something flutters inside of him and it's almost sickening because he feels like he falls deeper and deeper and there's no way out. "You're an idiot." Jongin finally says, voice sounding tired. And yes, he's tired. Exhausted. Because for the first time, he doesn't know what to do and it's so unbelievably scary to not understand yourself anymore.
And that's how their second kiss goes, with Soojung's coconut lipgloss still sticky on Sehun's lips.
-
After the events that took place after school that day, Soojung has been avoiding him. The feeling is mutual, thought, since Jongin spends almost as much effort as Soojung in avoiding her and until now, they were both successful. It's three days later on a friday that Soojung touches his arm before they have to go to physics. "Can we talk?" she looks sad and somehow not like the usual Soojung he knows, Jongin thinks as he looks up for a second before turning his head and pulling his arm out of her weak grip. He ignores her. And he knows that he's not being fair but it's not entirely Sehun's fault as well. The urge to turn around is nonexistent.
In physics, Soojung does another thing that's not like her. She cries. It starts with an abrupt sob and everyone turns around, including Jongin. Soojung's seat is a row behind him and he's also one of the witnesses that see her cover her face while broken sobs escape from her. Her seat neighbor wraps an arm around her and by now, even their teacher has noticed that everyone's attention is on something else than him. The teacher, a man in his late forties with a passion for science, seems to be overwhelmed with the situation, pushing his roundish glasses nervously up. "Uhm, Miss Jung, are you alright?" she shakes her head, face still hidden. The teacher looks even more lost. "Do you want to go out for a few minutes?" a nod. "But someone needs to accompany you to the nursery. Any volunteers?" he asks, his glasses are by now back on the bridge of his nose. Jongin doesn't know what makes him act this way but he raises his hand and speaks with a calm voice. "I'll do it."
The walk to the nursery is silent aside from the occasional sobs. Now that Jongin thinks about it, he never saw Soojung cry while they were together. She sits down on the lying surface as soon as they enter the nursery. Her eyes are slightly swollen and her face is red. She looks up to him but he doesn't feel like sitting next to her so the only thing he does is crossing his arms in front of his chest. Maybe, this was a bad idea. That's when she opens her mouth. "First of all, i'm sorry." her voice is still a bit weak but she has calmed down. Jongin nods slowly. "It's just that," she adds but he interrupts her. "I don't want to know how it happened." This time, Soojung nods. "Alright, but I want you to know that I don't feel anything for him, it's just," another sniff, "He was suddenly there and he actually liked me, it felt like he really wanted me and I don't know if you noticed but it seemed like you didn't even like kissing me." "So you're just kissing the first person available or what." He knows that it wasn't like that and Sehun isn't just someone who happens to be that person, he's not a person for coincidences. "Of course not." she says, tone getting slightly defensive before she timidly adds "but what's really important now is that I made a big mistake and I really don't want to lose you because you're amazing, Jongin." Now he's looking at her. "And I really liked you, surprisingly much actually." There's a fond smile on her lips and it's one of this moments where Jongin thinks that Soojung is really beautiful. It always seemed like a pact between them, playing the perfect couple, even if Jongin knew that she fancied her on her own way just as he did. He props his arms on the surface beside her and leans forward, pressing his lips against hers. It's weird how wrong it feels but also a relief.
One | Two
Prompt: #3
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~19000 words
Side pairings: Kai/Krystal, Sehun/Krystal, slight!Kai/Chanyeol
Summary: Jongin is too ambitious for his own good and Sehun is fascinated by him.
Notes: This turned into total teenage angst and I included a quote from Shameless. There are several things that don't make sense, especially the parts about the school system but think of it as artistic freedom.
It's after the spring vacation when an unfamiliar boy enters the classroom, trotting behind Jongin's literature teacher. Said boy looks like he doesn't belong to the crowd of proper black hair, beige uniform pants and azure blue blazers with the school's logo neatly embroidered on the chest. He sticks out with his hoodie, skinny jeans and sneakers that squeak obnoxiously loud on the linoleum floor of their high school. On top of all that, his hair is blonde. Well, it's meant to happen that this new guy will figure out in a while that individuality isn't asked for at this place, Jongin thinks as he eyes the new boy. And he would keep staring if Soojung, seat neighbor and girlfriend, wouldn't have blocked his view by taking a seat in front of him on his desk, shoving all of his stuff to the side. "And then we're going to the N Seoul Tower, only if we got the time of course. I heard that," she pauses, waiting for Jongin to redirect his gaze from the spot behind her, back to her. Noticing the absence of the constant voice he was listening to the moment he entered the classroom this morning, he adverts his eyes from the person at the front of the room to Soojung on his desk. "Hm?" he raises a brow, shooting her a look of confusion. Soojung sighs ever so dramatically, frown spreading on her small face. "What i'm saying is that the trip to Seoul is already in what, a month?" she exclaims, waving her hands to emphasize her words. "I want it to be perfect. And romantic, just us two." the wrinkle on her forehead is slowly vanishing as she talks Jongin observes, intently watching her before letting his gaze slide, grabbing a pencil out of his case. "Yeah. Us two and the whole senior year students." he grumbles. Soojung opens her mouth to protest but she's interrupted when the voice of Mrs Lee, the literature teacher, gets louder. "Everyone should return to their seats, now. Especially Miss Jung," she sends Soojung a warning glance, said girl gracefully getting down the desk and is taking a seat at the table to Jongin's right. "Hurry up, we need to start with the lesson. Also, I need to make some announcements." the teacher continues, voice sounding noticeably lighter than before. "This unexpected visitor is our new student. Please, Sehun, introduce yourself!" The new boy, Sehun, besides her raises a brow at her excited tone but turns to the students, raising his hand. "I'm Sehun." and that's all he says, causing their teacher to change her expectant face expression to an confused one. "Yes, Oh Sehun, you're from Seoul, right?" she prompts, hesitant smile returning back to her lips. Sehun nods, lips spreading into a small grin. "Born and raised." Mrs Lee seems to be satisfied with the answer, smile getting more prominent.
That's the point where Jongin directs his attention from the events at the front of the classroom back to the smartphone on his lap. The lesson proceeds like it normally does, too much knowledge packed into 45 minutes of boredom and monotony. The new student - Oh Sehun, was it? - made the free chair at the back of the class his new seat, just one row behind Jongin. And he's such a cliché with his dyed hair, stussy hoodie and gangster 'I sit at the back of the class' attitude. The clock at the wall shows that the lesson is coming to an end when the teacher dismisses everyone earlier than usually, loud sound of the school's bell not having clanged yet. Everyone excluding Sehun of course. Jongin is about to exit the class as well, bag already thrown over his shoulder as the voice of his teacher stops him. "Kim Jongin, do you have a moment?" she asks from behind him and he should have known it. He closes his eyes for a second in annoyance before he feels like he's ready to face her, turning around with a polite smile on his face. "Of course. what is it?" next to his teacher stands Sehun, some kind of paper map in his hands and a stoic expression plastered all over his face. His gaze bores into Jongin, making the said boy's smile almost crumble when he notices the other's attention on him. But he doesn't let himself get irritated. That's what he's good at. This is his personal supreme discipline. “I'd like to give Mr. Oh in your trustful hands, give him a small tour around the school, will you?” Mrs Lee asks, going through some papers in her hand.“Sure.” His reply follows close, almost eager sounding in order to smother his displeasure. Sehun, who's been awfully quiet until now releases a sound that could be described as an amused snort but when two pairs of eyes turn in his direction, he's keeping a straight face. “Well,” the teacher is laying her hand on Jongin's shoulder, “I'll leave it to you.” She finishes her small speech off with a smile.
He waits until she's out of the room to drop his smile to a much more comfortable expression. “So, where are we going?” Surprised, Jongin turns around to be met with a whole new look on Sehun's face. It can't be considered as a grin but his eyes are alive, vibrant and tinted with interest. He really is handsome, Jongin thinks and for some odd reason, it sets him off. “Well, she expects me to guide you through the whole school and I don't really plan on opposing.” He offers him a strained smile, cautiously covering his state of slight unease. The other boy nods slowly before he sneers. “Right.” he comments briefly before adding, “And it's important what she thinks of you.” It's not really a question but more of a statement coming from his side. “Anything that looks good on my university application is appealing to me.” He answers, apparently unaffected as he walks out of the door, waiting for Sehun to follow him. Said boy understands the gesture and lifts himself off the edge of the teacher's desk he has been sitting on.
The corridors are already filled with students rushing into different directions, alone and in small groups, everything being in its usual flow. Just then, he spots the principle. Merely meters away, talking animately with a student. On a closer look, he can make out that said student is Kim Joonmyun. Excellent grades, polite, the school's head boy and a thorn in Jongin's side. He abruptly turns around to Sehun who raises a brow at the sudden move. “Let's go to the library first.” He says, all too friendly smile present and voice loud enough for Joonmyeon plus teacher to hear. Why shouldn't he use the situation to leave a good impression? So desperate and yet proud. The whole act doesn't get unnoticed by Sehun who has a hard time stifling his laugher, well, it's not that he's actually trying. The mocking snort doesn't seem to irritate Jongin though, instead, there's a look of satisfaction spreading on his face when both, Joonmyun and the Teacher turn their head around in interest, the teacher giving Jongin a friendly smile that said boy reciprocates. The smile falters as soon as Joonmyun is heading in their direction, though. Even more, it vanishes for a second before it returns. Amusing, really. “Joonmyun!” “Hey Jongin!” Joonmyun chimes in, his facial expression displays similarities to Jongin's strained smile but comparing them, Sehun comes to the conclusion that something about the neat boy's smile is different. Oh right, it's a real smile. The latter is now standing in front of Sehun, with him, his kilowatt smile. Far too bright for Sehun's taste. “And you are?” “Oh Sehun,” he answers, all easy smile and confidence. “The new student from Seoul.” There's recognition flickering on Joonmyun's face. The move doesn't get unnoticed by Jongin as well and Sehun catches the frown on his face.
Suddenly, Jongin's smartphone vibrates in his pocket. Without much fumbling, he gets the device out of his pocket, glancing at the display. It's a text from Baekhyun.
From: Baekhyun
come to the practice room asap we got a problem
"Seems like i got something urgent to do," he says absentmindedly, eyes already glued to his display before he adverts his gaze back to Sehun, faux smile plastered on his face. "I'm sure our good old friend Joonmyun here can help you." he says, patting the shoulder of a very confused looking Joonmyun. "But-" before Sehun has the chance to say or do anything, Jongin turns around and leaves.
As Jongin jogs down the hallways to the direction of the practice room he suddenly feels ridiculous for leaving just because Baekhyun claims that he needs to come over urgently. Maybe it's just one of his stupid jokes, which wouldn't be so surprising, actually. When Jongin arrives at the dance studio, he rushes through the door. "Where's Baek?" he shouts, audibly panting while he catches his breath. There's half of their dance team, including Baekhyun who just got out of the locker room, phone in his hand. "God gracious, there you are." he sighs exaggeratedly before his expression does suddenly turn more serious. Which is really really bad since Baekhyun isn't the type to be serious. "Hey, Jongin. You better sit down, I've got something to tell you." Baekhyun pauses, before adding "and the rest of the team, too." Jongin feels his lips getting dry, okay this doesn't sound good. Far from it. He sinks on the floor taking on a cross legged position as the rest of the team mimics the action, everyone sitting more or less down in a circle. "So ... what's up?" Jongin questions out hesitantly, eyes nervously observing Baekhyun who's facing him from the other side of the circle. Seems like he's not the only one who's nervous. Everyone is, exchanging confused glances and raised eyebrows. Especially Baekhyun himself, who takes a deep breath before he speaks up. "So, the dance competition is on the first October, right." it's not a question. "Well, Yixing called me today and told me that he's going back to China, family thing and all," Baekhyun pauses, aware that everyone's eyes are on him. "He'll be gone in September."
“Fuck.” Jongdae, member of the dance team, is the first one to break the silence. And yes, that's what's going through everyone's mind right now. Because they are all aware that Yixing is, or was, one of their best dancers. If not the best out of them. They already started practicing the choreography for the competition, which includes all members while Yixing and Jongin are supposed to take over the main part and a solo. Without him, they don't stand a chance of winning. it's a huge loss, they'll be at disadvantage and everyone is aware. Jongin feels his throat closing up. “What should we do now?” Someone else asks and Jongin feels multiple pairs of expecting eyes staring at him. The thing is, he has no idea what to do. He's equally as lost as the others are. If not more.
Just then, the door to the dance studio opens. Everyone turns their heads too see the intruder. It's Oh Sehun, looking inside the room with a stoic look on his face. “Is this the dance studio?” Someone must have acklnowledged him because he doesn't leave but Jongin doesn't have time for this right now. He should probably tell Sehun that he has to leave now.
Said boy lifts his hand up as if waving halfway. "Yo, I'm Sehun." His monotone voice matches his face, Jongin thinks as he slowly gets up from the floor, slandering over to the other guy. “I wanna audition for the dance team, are you the captain?” From up close, he noticed that the guy is even taller than he thought. He's a tad taller than Jongin himself, towering the other by a few centimeters. It really pisses him off. “This is a really inconvenient time,” Jongin starts before he pauses. What if... This could be their only chance. “You said you were interested in joining the team, yes?” He asks once again, eyes now more awake. Sehun nods. He pauses.
“Dance for us and we will see if there's one more spot for an additional member.” Sehun nods at that. “Sure.” He replies courtly, taking off his jacket. He needs to dance well Jongin repeats like a mantra over and over in his head, please please please. By now, the rest of the team has gathered at the mirror wall, leaning against it while Jongin heads for the stereo equipment. “Are you okay with anything?” Sehun nods in reply, taking his snapback swiftly down to run his long fingers through the blonde wisps of his hair before pushing it back onto the top of his head. The mixtape is good, nice beat and one of Jongin's favorites. And then, he looks at Sehun.
There's still hope.
-
Jongin leaves the dance studio with a pleased expression. Sehun has been better than expected. More than that, he's good, really and truly good. After his performance, everyone had been clapping furiously because they all knew that they were back in the game. Sure, there's no guarantee that Sehun will be the key to success but now they have someone who's capable of dancing Yixing's part. The only thing Jongin is worried about is that Sehun will need some private lessons, since they will be dancing the main part together. They need to be compatible.
But for now, he's content with how things turned out.
Arriving at home, he's greeted by nothing but a small note on the kitchen counter. “Don't forget to start studying for the university entrance exams, there are a few new books on your bed. Read them.” That's it. When he enters his room, his predictions are proven correct. “The Rule of Law” under a copy of “Glanville Williams: Learning the Law” lay on his bed. Jongin changes into sweats and a long sleeved shirt before he heads out. He wheels his bike out the garage and puts his headphones on. The ride isn't far but he needs a distraction. Really badly, actually.
There's a small lake, not too far away, nothing special but it's a nice place to meet up after school on hot summer days. As Jongin arrives at the lake that day, bike already disregarded at a tree, Sehun is already there. “Jongin!” Someone roars and in the next second, a paper cup is being pushed in his hand. “Hey,” He shouts to no one in particular, planting himself down in between Baekhyun and someone else. It doesn't take much time until he's feeling comfortable. The alcohol has reached his head by now and it feels good, being surrounded by people he knows well and fitting in without trying to impress anyone. He's able to relax and to switch off all of those thoughts that float in his head to the point of drowning him. Trailing his eyes over the whole scene, the green grass and a small bonfire someone made in the sand, a few meters closer to the water, he spots Sehun. Said guy is talking animately with two girls. “Do you know what I mean?” it comes from his left but Jongin doesn't even realize that he's been part of a conversation for the last few minutes. Instead, he stands up, wobbly but still with grace. And Jongin starts to question who made the drinks, like, what ratio is that, 90 percent vodka and 10 percent orange juice? Doesn't matter, everyone's far gone by now.
“Sehun!” Jongin hears himself shout. It comes out as a slur. And Sehun turns around, cigarette between his lips. Without a word, he leaves his earlier company and strides over to Jongin, who sat down on the sand, oblivious to his prior action. “Jonginnnn.” he calls out with a smirk, arm sliding around Jongin's shoulders who flinches in surprise before he returns the gesture. “Sehun, my hero and savior,” he exclaims, patting Sehun's back in response. “It's always a pleasure to help.” he takes a drag from his cigarette before adding “especially when it's you.”. Jongin crinkles his face in exaggerative confusion because did the other really just wink? “The fuck you're saying?” the high quality response he receives from Sehun is a loud snort, followed by a laugher. And then, Jongin starts to laugh too, because why not. Sehun's laugh is kind of funny, not exactly loud but it reminds him faintly of a donkey. In all honesty, it's quite the pleasant realization because there should be a part of him that's not attractive. Problem is, Jongin realized another thing. He's somewhat attracted to stoic guys with a dumb donkey laugh and it's tragic. And that's how the afternoon turns into evening and evening turns into night. Both, Jongin and Sehun have taken off their shoes to feel the sand beneath their feet. Someone came by and lit the bonfire once again, the latter being the only source of light since the sky has turned into a deep and dark blue. It's a starry night and Jongin can't take his eyes off the stars. They are both lying on their backs in the sand, side to side, the chatter of the other's filling the background. “This is beautiful.” Jongin blurts out. Sehun nods before pointing at the sky. “Do you see that bright one? It's the North Star.” He says, sounding ridiculously proud. Jongin squints his eyes. “That's a satellite, though.” “Oh really?” “Yeah.” Jongin mumbles quietly, preoccupied by the view that displays above him. The fire has meanwhile almost burned down, the wind isn't strong but a cold breeze drives small waves against the shore. Quite suddenly, Jongin sits up and feels the wind blowing coldly in his face, causing an abrupt feeling of soberness washing through him. The events of today return to him and he glances over to Sehun who's still lying in the sand, head on his crossed arms and eyes focused on the sky. “Hey,” he starts as he pulls his knees close to his body before wrapping his arms around them in a comfortable position. His approach gets acknowledged with a low hum, the other boy still absorbed in the starlit sky. Jongin reaches out for a lone branch, hidden in the sand and sticks it absently in the flames of the bonfire. “Sorry about today,” he starts. “I shouldn't have left this morning.” He has the other's attention now. “It's alright, we're good.” Sehun yawns, lifting himself up the ground to sit next to Jongin. “So, how is it, living in Seoul?” he asks, suddenly aware that he knows practically nothing about Sehun. Aside from the fact that he's a phenomenal dancer, looks too good in a way that sets Jongin off and is a few centimeters taller that he himself. What surprises him even more is that he actually wants to know more.
“It's different. Different Lifestyle, lots of people, you know. Not like here. I mean, where are all the people?” he exclaims, waving his hands through the air in an attempt to make vague gestures. Jongin snorts. “It's alive, Seoul never sleeps, Seoul is loud and angry but peaceful.” “And why did you come here?” Jongin counters, taking his hands form his knees and winds them around his upper body because he suddenly regrets only wearing a thin cotton shirt but he doesn't want to leave. Not yet. Meanwhile, Sehun watches him with an amused grin. “Trust me, I don't intend to stay for long.” He states, stretching his legs out flat on the sand. “My parents gave me an ultimatum, I either stay at my school and live with them, in their custody of course, or they'd just let the school throw me out before I can graduate in some dump where my uncle lives. Surprise Surprise, I chose the option which wouldn't make me my parents' slave for the last months before I can finally get away. And now i'm here.” He drawls out at the end, the look he's throwing at Jongin being a mix of anticipation and boredom. “They kicked you out?” Sehun can only hide his grin at the obvious tint of incredulity also shown on Jongin's face.
“What did you do?” he asks after a few moments, his tone comprising a hint of excitement. Maybe it's the cheap alcohol or the whole atmosphere, only the bonfire and the pale moon illuminating their faces, but Jongin feels eagerness creeping at his sides, interest flaring inside of him. As if he'd get some kick out of this, talking with someone who holds a whole lot of promises of a world filled with unknown thrills and taboos. “Well,” Sehun starts as he buries his bare feet deeper into the sand. “Let's save this for another time.”
-
After that day, Sehun starts to become a fixed member in Jongin's “inner circle”. It begins with Jongin coming to school, heading for his usual spot where Baekhyun and Jongdae are already chatting with Sehun. All of them look up when Jongin arrives, Baekhyun gracing him with a warm smile and really, nothing changes, Sehun blends in. Even later on when Soojung and Jongin join up with the other's, Sehun is already there, a girl that Jongin recognizes as one of Soojung's friends touching his arm while they are apparently discussion something.
The thing about Sehun is that he blends in but stands out. Easy as that. They talk more frequently and after a while, he gets used to the pale boy's presence. It's quite nice to hang out with him and he's something new to Jongin, something interesting. Sehun is confident, outspoken and carries some kind of lazy composure which everyone seems to find irresistible. And the people are casually accepting the fact that he's here as if he's never been away. That's also what Jongin tells Baekhyun when they both meet up at the rooftop after their last period. It's not an unusual place to get together, more of an occasional insider meeting place that the most people know about anyway but it still has something secretive about it. Today, there's no one but them up there, everyone having the intention of leaving school as soon as possible. Aside from the dance club, obviously. Their free time is momentarily almost nonexistent. The sky is kind of white greyish today, depressing and spiritless. Even the people look sort of colorless today, pale and monotone while they keep rushing out of the classrooms. How repetitive it all looks, Jongin thinks as he leans down to take a look at the students hurrying out of the school's gateway.
From up here, he has the perfect view to see the overall picture, a general view. Baekhyun is typing on his smartphone, leaning with his back against the railing. What a waste. “That's good, isn't it?” The smaller one responds while he's finally taking his eyes away from the display to smile at Jongin who has furrowed his brows, looking as if he's engrossed in thought. And then he's suddenly smiling, flashing his typical stereotypical Jongin smile that Baekhyun recognizes as the one he's using when he intends to mask his true feelings. Something he discovered after being friends with Jongin for quite some time. Baekhyun suppresses the urge to roll his eyes in a good natured way at the other's antics and snakes his arm around Jongin's shoulder, pulling both of them down to the stairways that lead to the rooftop, both stumbling due to the height difference. “Stop worrying so much,” Baekhyun laughs as they head towards the dance studio and he feels something similar to pride swelling up inside of him when there's a real smile forming on Jongin's lips. “He really likes you, give him a chance, will you.” he adds before they enter the halls and Jongin's expression falters for a second. He doesn't reply and enters the studio instead.
-
The day of the competition comes closer and due to that, dance practice takes place far more often and much longer than the usual. It's already dark outside when Jongin claps in his hands and shouts out an energetic "Enough for today!" The music stops and chatters start to fill the room while everyone's heading for the lockers, water bottle in one hand, blanket in the other. Jongin stays behind and stretches. In the last months, his back has gotten worse. Soomi, member of the dance club suggested that he should stretch more throughly and to his own surprise, he acted on her advice, staying in the studio. One after another, the other members pass him in order to leave, a quick bye on their lips until Jongin is almost certain that he's the only one left. He's on all fours, upper body carefully bent down while his lower half is up in the air when he hears steps coming from the lockers. He turns his head around, it's really uncomfortable from this degree but he manages to get a look at the intruder. It's Sehun, sport bag slung loosely over his shoulder. One of his eyebrows is lifted up while he's curiously eyeing Jongin. "What are you doing?" he asks in an amused tone. "Stretching." it's even harder to speak when your mouth is cages between your arm and the floor Jongin notices, so he tries to get his head once again in a steady position even if he cannot look at Sehun this way. Honestly speaking, he already did that more than enough. Sehun seems to consider his reply before asking him again "Yes, but why?" Jongin was still staring straight ahead in the direction of the mirror wall before he turns around once again to look at Sehun. "The pain in my back has gotten worse and stretching is supposed to help if we trust Soomi." "Ah," Sehun keeps staring at him and Jongin isn't even sure wether he's really looking at him or just randomly staring holes in the air when Sehun starts to move further to the door with a quick "Gotta leave now," Face almost expressionless. Just when he's about to open the door, he halts. "You look like you want to take it up the ass."
With a glare, he flips the bird at him but Sehun brushes it off with a laugher. "fuck you" he bites, voice coming out as a muffled sound in account of his uncompromising position from the floor. Sehun laughs again, it's a genuine laugher, smile reaching his eyes. "See you tomorrow, Jongin." the grin is still on his lips when he pushes the door open. Sehun's humor is terrible, Jongin thinks as he's getting up, looking at his reddish face in the mirror.
-
A few days later, he calls Sehun over in break time to inform him about their private training on friday. Since both of them need to perform the solo and main point of the dance choreography, they came to the conclusion that it's necessary to practice as much as possible without the others. Even if both of them are fairly good, there's something missing in their dynamic. Maybe it's the way they contrast. Captivating perfection and sort of sharp movements next to a lazy kind of clumsy but enticing flow. Sehun agrees. Both of them have been on much better terms these days, Jongin coming to accept the addition to his clique and Sehun isn't someone you can easily dislike. Aside from his awful disinterest he portrays on his face when he's not wearing his sinful grin of his. He's cool, easy to talk to when he wants to and Jongin is aware that the other boy has taken some kind of interest in him. But there's still something odd about him, maybe it's the way he subtly observes him or his natural habit to be everywhere. Well, it doesn't really matter right now because odd or not, Sehun is going to dance with him. Another thing is that, if there's one thing he truly wants at the moment, Jongin wants to win. He needs this. So badly.
Jongin is sitting in the dance studio's changing room on one of the benches in front of the lockers, earplugs stuck in while he nods his head slightly to the beat. Suddenly, there's darkness, palms covering his eyes. Jongin's breath hitches, earplugs falling out due to his sharp movement. “Guess who?” A voice whispers close to his ear. “Sehun?” he says, trying to hide the hesitation in his voice. As soon as he said his name, Sehun retracts his hands and Jongin blinks repeatedly against the sudden incidence of light. “Surprise,” he deadpans from behind Jongin with a tint of mockery before Jongin hears a ruffling noise. He turns around an there's Sehun, already clad in his black sweatpants and currently hovering over his sportsbag, rummaging through it in search for something. When he found the desired object, he takes it out and pulls the school uniform's shirt over his head, back still directed to the other. The flexing of his back muscles doesn't get unnoticed by Jongin who takes a closer look when the shirt is over Sehun's head. He gulps. There's a feeling of uncertainty rushing through him and he abruptly gets up from the bench, almost dropping his phone. In an instant, he's aware of how quiet it is. The only sound audible is the beat of the song he's been listening to still blasting out of the long forgotten earplugs, Sehun's and his own constant breath and the rustling sound coming from Sehun's clothes. It's really calm, somehow, not even uncomfortable but merely peaceful. “Are you done?” Jongin asks, pulling the plugs out of his phone as he walks slowly out of the changing room, right to the studio. A muffled “Yeah,” comes from behind and for unknown reasons, Jongin feels the corner of his mouth lifting up.
“You seem so composed. Like nothing could destroy your world.”
Putting his phone on the dock station, the strong bass that announces their first part starts playing. The playlist includes several songs and beats they need to blend in one way or another. Sehun joins him in front of the mirror wall and meets Jongin's eyes in the mirror. “Stop looking at me like this,” Jongin mutters, slightly unfocused but still intending to sound friendly enough. “Like what?” comes the retort, Sehun's brow lifting up and there it is again, that mocking expression. But he's not the only one who can play like this, Jongin thinks as he tilts his head to one side with a similar expression. “Forget it.” Sehun is standing so close to him but their eyes are still directed to the mirror. As if Sehun's actually not as close as it seems, giving Jongin the wild eyes. That's what he started to call the thing Sehun does with his eyes when he's staring basically right into his soul, as if all of his attention is projected on him with such a great amount of interest. As he said, wild eyes. The mood is somewhat good, intense but for some reason, both of them feel extremely content. Time passes by and their breathing gets louder with every song while the sky turns into a dark azure blue but none of them really feels like stopping nor to turn the morbidly shrill lights on. And they do get better, there's an improvement after every exchanged smile and every friendly pat on the back that makes everything so easy.
Jongin doesn't know how much time passes until the playlist ends. Along with the last bass drop, he lets himself fall onto the floor, material cold against his sweaty back. It doesn't take long until Sehun beside him does the same, long exhausted limbs falling down to his right. There's silence, only their heavy breathing filling the dark room. Both are panting, chests heaving up and down. Jongin closes his eyes, the feeling of fatigue spreading through his body. The sound of breathing becomes more quiet and regular, almost forming a calming rhythm. It's the soft touch of a pair of lips pressed against his that causes him to open his eyes abruptly, pulling him out of his reverie. As fast as the touch came, it's gone. But what stays is Sehun, hovering above Jongin with dark eyes that bore into him. His fringe falls down his face, soft strands looking almost white in the little amount of light that the moon provides through the small windows on top of the walls. Jongin feels somewhat caged with the way Sehun's pale hands find support on either sides of Jongin's head. He opens his mouth when Sehun starts to say something "I-," Jongin shrinks back at the timbre voice breaking the silence, only now realizing what exactly happened. “It's- it's alright. It was a mistake.” He blurts out quickly, his voice sounding foreign and different in his own ears. And before Sehun can say anything else, Jongin is out of the door, grabbing his bag with a swift move and then he's gone. Out of the studio and away from Sehun. His steps get faster, the clicking audible on the linoleum floor and he only stops when he's outside the school building. As soon as he breathes in the fresh evening air, he halts and hides his face in his hands before he runs his fingers through his locks in a state of total confusion. What the hell was that? Leaning against the brick wall of the building, he closes his eyes for a mere second to clear his mind. His heartbeat is finally calming down when the buzzing of his mobile causes him to flinch. There's one message from Soojung and another one from his mother, telling him to come home immediately. So she's back. Good to know. With a sigh, he stuffs the device deep in his trouser's pocket and pushes himself off the wall to saunter in the direction of the gate. From there on, it's only a shirt walk to the next bus station. Jongin is still hyperaware of the tingling feeling that's shooting through his body.
The bus station is sheltered and equipped with a not so comfortable looking iron bench, illuminated by a flickering lightbulb. The timetable on the glass wall of the station shows that his bus arrives in a few minutes and he decides to sit down on the bench. Now that he has time for himself, he's aware that he has no idea of what to do. How is he going to face Sehun and what is his plan, what is he trying to do. His thoughts are like a giant tangled web that he can't conquer. To him, behind everything, there's an intention. So what is it that Sehun wants? The bus arrives in the distance and only now Jongin notices, that it started to rain, the drops visible in the headlights coming from the front of the bus. He gets up and offers the bus driver his student ID as he enters and looks for a seat. The bus is relatively empty, merely a woman with her child and a man with a book in his hands. He goes for a seat at the back, propping his chin on his flat palm and looks out of the window, the raindrops floating down the window. With a rumble, the bus starts to move in a slow pace.
-
The next day starts in chaos. It's already past eight when Jongin wakes up, he curses under his breath and is already half dressed when he walks out of his room. It's too quiet, as if he's the only one in the house and well, he probably is. No wonder that no one woke him up. The last night has been stressful, more thinking than sleeping to summarize it all. Jongin has always been a person who's naturally sleepy and he had fixed this self-proclaimed “malfunction” with a well-kept routine that consists of enough sleep (very important) and a constant awareness just as a neat appearance. But today, there's no time for all that. Everything is wrong today, he feels agitated and in a rush when he arrives at school, hair unruly for his standards and crumpled shirt, that he fished out of the corner of his room. This shouldn't be happening to him, he can't let his guard down. His math teacher gives him a disapproving look when he slips into the classroom and slides down on his usual seat. The thing is, he only needs to make one mistake in order to stain his white west, everything he has achieved until then will be forgotten because it will blend in the shadow of this one blemish. And he needs to be the exemplary student in order to get what he wants. He doesn't want to end up like this, forced in the role of a law student. He knows what he wants. And what he wants is Dancing. Professional Dancing. In Seoul. Only the best students get a scholarship, therefor it's necessary to receive it or he won't be able to get away. Jongin just knows it. So yes, he can't let himself be distracted right now.
During the rest of the lesson, he doesn't spare a glance at anyone, especially not at a certain guy who has his stoic eyes directed to the front of the class as if Jongin wouldn't exist. But that's good, really. He doesn't have time for this. Not right now. Sehun has already done enough damage, at least that's what he tells himself. To his big surprise, later on, when they meet up in the break time, nothing has changed. Sehun treats him like nothing happened. “What was up with you this morning?” It comes all of sudden, Sehun running his fingers though Jongin's hair that still looks kind of messy. It's a harmless action, nothing special, but Jongin still feels his pulse quicken. Unconsciously, he looks around if someone saw. No one did, everyone thinks of it as something normal and Jongin thinks he might be overacting. His gaze drifts to Sehun who catches it and he feels caught red-handed when his eyes meet Sehun's for a second who does his signature eyebrow lifting move, quite likely aware of Jongin's reaction to his prior move. Sehun grins, turning back to someone he was talking to earlier. And Jongin does the same, feeling his face burning. “Right, how did that happen?” Baekhyun's question tears him violently out of his thoughts. “Well,” Jongin shrugs, rubbing his eyes with his flat palm to get rid of the feeling of fatigue that makes itself apparent once again, “I overslept.” “What, even the perfect Jongin oversleeps?” Sehun again. His voice sounding teasing. “I couldn't sleep.” Jongin states, void of any emotion, staring Sehun straight in the eye. There's something like realization in Sehun's eyes and they lighten up for a second, no sign of guilt visible though. Fuck Sehun.
-
It continues like this in the next week, everything's back to normal but then it's not. Not really. Soojung is sitting on Jongin's desk and he can't help but to feel a bit bad. He really neglected her in the last days and what he feels even more guilty about is the fact that he didn't even realize it. And Soojung is not dumb, far from it, there's disappointment visible in the way she looks at him because she knows that he'd rather not have this conversation right now. “Promise me that you'll be there for me when we are in Seoul. Please.” And he agrees of course, he promises it to her and kisses her on the lips, in front of everyone else. The wrinkle on her forehead is vanishing and there's a genuine smile on her lips. She's really beautiful, always were. Jongin reciprocates her smile. Then she gets up,announcing that she'll be back in a second. Before she leaves, Soojung turns around for a last time and whispers in his ear. “You need to make up for some things, so keep your promise, Jongin.” Jongin nods. He knows that he hasn't been the best boyfriend in the last weeks, ignoring her on purpose and being kissed by other boys. But oh well. Soojung doesn't know that and for now, he doesn't plan on changing that. He takes his water bottle out of his backpack when someone else takes a seat on his desk. He looks up and there is Sehun, looking absentmindedly through his things.
"So, Soojung and you, hm?"
"Soojung and me what." Jongin deadpans. Seems like Sehun saw the whole thing as well. How satisfying. “You're still together?” He asks in an exaggerating manner. “Why wouldn't we be?” Jongin presses his lips together. “It didn't seem like you, I don't know, cherish her. You don't care about her. You don't want her to come when we hang out and I literally saw how you ignored her calls. Don't you think that's strange?” “You don't have to understand our relationship.” Jongin counters, slightly confused by the sudden outburst. Sehun smiles. “You're right. I don't.” “What are you two talking about?” Soojung is back, still in a good mood but a small frown visible when she spots Sehun. “I just told Jongin that he doesn't really appreciate you.” He blurts out before Jongin can say something. Oh. Her frown deepens and her piercing stare is now aiming for Sehun. "What do you mean?" Sehun doesn't flinch under her intense glare, it's rather the contrary. "I think you're ignoring the fact that Jongin here doesn't even think about you when you're away." He says, without hesitation. The tone of his voice sounds almost challenging. The thing about Soojung is that she's not someone who's easily intimidated. She's self-confident, stubborn and most of all doesn't give by. That's why it's more than a little surprising to Jongin that she shrugs after a while of holding his gaze with a muttered "Whatever." Sehun is still smiling as he's gracefully getting off the desk and returns to his own seat. Immediately, Jongin turns to Soojung. “You know that's not true. He's an idiot.” Soojung seems to be in thoughts. She hums in reply, her hand on his upper arm. “I know. It's still strange.” “What is?” She shakes her head. “Nothing. But he's right, pay more attention to me.” Jongin grins, relieved that she didn't take it the wrong way. “I will, no worries.” And they kiss again, aware of the fact that a few pairs of eyes observe them. Soojung being obviously satisfied with the situation.
As soon as the school's bell rings and everyone's leaving, Jongin waits in the corridors for Sehun to come out. There he is, talking with a girl Jongin recognizes as one of Soojung's friends who has obviously taken an interest in the tall guy. All of sudden, he feels annoyed by Sehun. But the latter has already spotted him and walks in his direction. “Yo Jongin,” He calls out, raising one hand. The girl next to him waves him goodbye, glancing curiously at Jongin. It looks like Sehun wants to say more but as soon as the other students are out of sight, Jongin hits his arm repeatedly. “What the fuck was that?” He bites out. And he knows that the other knows what he's talking about, so he continues his assault. And Sehun lets him, a fond expression on his face. “Are you done?” Jongin manages it to scoff. “No,” he mutters, but he stops. Together, they walk to the dance studio. As they arrive, Jongin halts, covering his face with a groan. Sehun looks at him in surprise. “Shit, I need to go.” “What, why?” Sehun asks, confused. Jongin sighs. “I promised Mrs. Lee to undertake the cleaning duty for this week in the literature classroom. Tell the others I'll be there in a few.” He shouts over his shoulder, already jogging in the opposite direction.
-
A few days later, Jongin makes the same mistake. He's at the dance studio, already wearing a pair of grey sweatpants when he remembers that he needs to go up to the literature class. He walks up to Baekhyun who sat down on the floor. “Can you make sure that everyone warms up while i'm away? Excluding Sehun, he needs to practice the dance steps if the final, and-” Baekhyun interrupts him. “Sehun is not here.” Jongin looks confused for a second but then, he shrugs it off. “Alright, got to go now.” Is his reply, before he's pushing the door open.
The walk through the school building is lonely, most of the students already gone. The classroom is on the first floor and he wants to be quickly over with it so he hurries up. He doesn't even find it suspicious that the door of the classroom is already open even though Jongin has the key. Carelessly throwing his backpack on the floor as he halts all of sudden, because there's something hunched in the corner. On second glance, he can make out two people huddled on the floor, entangled in each other. The familiar back of a female faces him, sprawled over the lap of another person whose face is covered by the female's figure, only a soft tuft of blonde hair being able to make out. Jongin's breath hitches. He turns around on his heels, heading back to the door, out of the room, as he stumbles over his long forgotten backpack. The shuffling noises are haltering and Jongin knows that there's no way they haven't noticed him. Slowly, he turns around, meeting one equally shocked pair of eyes and another pair of brown orbs that look back at him, oddly calm. The silence expands for a few more seconds. It seems like they, or rather Soojung, are expecting him to explode. And really, why isn't he? Walking in on his girlfriend making out with his, well, with Sehun - why does he feel so numb. Jongin shifts his eyes over to the Sehun. Said boy leans back against the wall, eyes boring in Jongin's own, hair disheveled as he licks over his unnaturally red looking lips.
"Jongin, I-" It's Soojung, her voice sounding shrill and too loud after the quiet. She doesn't finish her sentence, noticing that he's not acknowledging her, his eyes still focused on the other guy, who returns his intense gaze just with the same amount of immersion. "I," she starts again, pausing before she whispers in defeat "I think I should leave." There's no reply.
Jongin hears the clacking sound of her shoes getting more faint before slowly fading into the familiar silence. He doesn't know how much time flies by until he finally moves, grabbing his backpack from the ground and walking out of the classroom. He's not surprised when he feels someone following him, far from it, he's also aware that Sehun knows where he's heading to. Neither of them says something, passing the corridors until they arrive at the much more narrow stairs that lead up to the rooftop. It's Jongin who's taking the lead, the other boy strolling behind him, hands deeply shoved into the pockets of his pants. The first thing Jongin does when he pushes open the door is taking a deep breath. Sehun behind him, who appeared unconcerned until then, passes him with slow steps. it only takes a few steps until he's standing at the railing and it only takes seconds for the other to stand beside him. Sehun shifts his gaze from the sunset that colors the sky in the nicest shades of orange and rose to his right, eyeing the beautiful boy beside him and he can only think about how cliché this all is and that even the most beautiful colors look boring compared to Jongin. The mild breeze gets more apparent when the fresh air blows Jongin's bangs in all directions. He feels the others eyes on him and he hears a small voice telling him not to look to his left but it's just so so tempting. And Jongin has never been good at resisting. That was a mistake is all he thinks as his eyes lock with the blonde's. The look he gives him is so strong and it makes his chest ache. It feels like something flutters inside of him and it's almost sickening because he feels like he falls deeper and deeper and there's no way out. "You're an idiot." Jongin finally says, voice sounding tired. And yes, he's tired. Exhausted. Because for the first time, he doesn't know what to do and it's so unbelievably scary to not understand yourself anymore.
And that's how their second kiss goes, with Soojung's coconut lipgloss still sticky on Sehun's lips.
-
After the events that took place after school that day, Soojung has been avoiding him. The feeling is mutual, thought, since Jongin spends almost as much effort as Soojung in avoiding her and until now, they were both successful. It's three days later on a friday that Soojung touches his arm before they have to go to physics. "Can we talk?" she looks sad and somehow not like the usual Soojung he knows, Jongin thinks as he looks up for a second before turning his head and pulling his arm out of her weak grip. He ignores her. And he knows that he's not being fair but it's not entirely Sehun's fault as well. The urge to turn around is nonexistent.
In physics, Soojung does another thing that's not like her. She cries. It starts with an abrupt sob and everyone turns around, including Jongin. Soojung's seat is a row behind him and he's also one of the witnesses that see her cover her face while broken sobs escape from her. Her seat neighbor wraps an arm around her and by now, even their teacher has noticed that everyone's attention is on something else than him. The teacher, a man in his late forties with a passion for science, seems to be overwhelmed with the situation, pushing his roundish glasses nervously up. "Uhm, Miss Jung, are you alright?" she shakes her head, face still hidden. The teacher looks even more lost. "Do you want to go out for a few minutes?" a nod. "But someone needs to accompany you to the nursery. Any volunteers?" he asks, his glasses are by now back on the bridge of his nose. Jongin doesn't know what makes him act this way but he raises his hand and speaks with a calm voice. "I'll do it."
The walk to the nursery is silent aside from the occasional sobs. Now that Jongin thinks about it, he never saw Soojung cry while they were together. She sits down on the lying surface as soon as they enter the nursery. Her eyes are slightly swollen and her face is red. She looks up to him but he doesn't feel like sitting next to her so the only thing he does is crossing his arms in front of his chest. Maybe, this was a bad idea. That's when she opens her mouth. "First of all, i'm sorry." her voice is still a bit weak but she has calmed down. Jongin nods slowly. "It's just that," she adds but he interrupts her. "I don't want to know how it happened." This time, Soojung nods. "Alright, but I want you to know that I don't feel anything for him, it's just," another sniff, "He was suddenly there and he actually liked me, it felt like he really wanted me and I don't know if you noticed but it seemed like you didn't even like kissing me." "So you're just kissing the first person available or what." He knows that it wasn't like that and Sehun isn't just someone who happens to be that person, he's not a person for coincidences. "Of course not." she says, tone getting slightly defensive before she timidly adds "but what's really important now is that I made a big mistake and I really don't want to lose you because you're amazing, Jongin." Now he's looking at her. "And I really liked you, surprisingly much actually." There's a fond smile on her lips and it's one of this moments where Jongin thinks that Soojung is really beautiful. It always seemed like a pact between them, playing the perfect couple, even if Jongin knew that she fancied her on her own way just as he did. He props his arms on the surface beside her and leans forward, pressing his lips against hers. It's weird how wrong it feels but also a relief.
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