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Darlene: "Oh hey Carolyn! How's school?"
Carolyn: "Well dear Mother, considering you've sent me to the incorrect school, I'm having to do work suitable for a man and I'm quite peeved about it. I've tried to tell these gentlemen that I do not belong here but they keep telling me that nowadays women are allowed into the military. Can you believe the blatant lies, Mother? In any case, if you could just--"
Darlene: "Yeah, uh huh that's great Carolyn, anyway I was just calling to let you know that by the time you come back, we might have a new member of the family!"
Carolyn: ". . . You've not entered the time machine again, have you?"
Darlene: "Nope, this time we did it the old fashioned way! No really, the REALLY old fashioned way, there was a tree involved--"
Carolyn: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
I'm pretty sure Carolyn is a Virgo so of course this was the only suitable response.
In case you still aren't sure, yes, Darlene is pregnant! I didn't ever think I would let her have more children but they just kept wishing for it, even at their age . . (well, Darlene is practically immortal now but Marc's gotta be, what, early 40's? I know people certainly have children at that age, but still, at least an 18 year age gap between siblings . . xD;)
The very first thing Darlene does is quit her job as an astronaut. Even though that's quite pointless since she only works one day anyway, I think "Good on her! She's taking this seriously." Then IMMEDIATELY afterward she starts a job in the law enforcement career. WTF, Darlene. That will give you even LESS time to spend with your kid! What are you-- . . ohhhhhh. Oh, I see. And this is why you get Worst Mother Award.
And yes, she is standing behind a bar in this picture.
The second thing she does is call up Oriole. But not for support from her best friend as I'd thought.
Darlene: "YOU!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!"
Oriole: "Huh?! What's wrong?"
Darlene: "Our friendship is made of lies, that's what's wrong!!"
Oriole: "What's this all about, Darlene?!"
Darlene: "YOU'RE A VAMPIRE!!!"
Oriole: ". . . ."
Oriole: "Yes, Darlene. Yes I am a vampire. Good job."
Darlene: "How could you keep this from me?! Your best friend?"
Oriole: "Darlene, you must have known I was a vampire already."
Darlene: "Don't play dumb with me! You've been hiding it all along!"
Oriole: "DARLENE I'M THE ONE WHO TURNED YOU INTO A VAMPIRE. TWICE."
Darlene: "You never said that just because you can turn someone into a vampire means you have to be one!"
Oriole: ". . . . You need to brush up on your horror folklore a bit more"
Darlene: "Don't try to change the subject!"
Oriole: "You're obviously confused, Darlene. Look, 'sorry' I didn't tell you I'm a vampire, okay? Let's just move on"
Darlene: "No! I can't be friends with someone who lies to me like that!"
Oriole: "But I didn't actually-- What has even gotten into you today?! You're so moody! . . . Ohhhh, I see what's going on."
Darlene: "What? What are you making that face for?!"
Oriole: "The conversation with Marc, your mood, combined with that frumpy dress you'd never usually wear . . you're totally pregnant!"
Darlene: "WHAT?! I'm not--"
Oriole: "You totally are preggers!! Oh, this is so exciting!"
Darlene: "This isn't about me! Quit trying to shift the focus off yourself!"
Oriole: "OMG have you thought of names? Do you know the gender?! What about a crib??"
Darlene: "UGH, forget it, I'm going upstairs . ."
Darlene marches upstairs but her moodiness goes from one extreme to another when she goes into April's room for the first time in a long time . .
Darlene: "WAAAAAH I MISS HER SO MUCH MAAAAAARC"
Marc: "I know, I know, I miss her too . ."
Darlene: "WHAT IF THIS ONE DIES TOO, MARC? WHAT IF IT DIES?!"
Marc: "Then it . . dies?"
Darlene: "WAAAAAAAAHHHHH"
Marc's sense of logic isn't very good for comforting people . . =P
But soon Darlene's pregnancy passes by like a flash (I always thought that Sim pregnancies don't last a realistic amount of time, even on Epic mode =P You're going to try to tell me that 3 days = 9 months?!)
It's time! And this time Marc is actually here to assist her to the hospital!
. . . Or at least provide emotional support.
Marc: "Hey, if you're the one in labor, then why are you driving and not me?"
Darlene: "SHUT UP, I'M IN TOO MUCH PAIN TO REASON WITH YOU RIGHT NOW"
Marc: "I think we just hit a stop sign . ."
But despite this, Darlene arrives to the hospital safely and the Wagners get to take their new child home!
It's a boy!! HURRAH!!
And at this point Steve is behind me going "YESSSS!!! FINALLY MY SON HAS A FREAKING BOY! I was beginning to think my son is such a loser, I mean, who is going to carry on the Wagner name?! I was going to have to beat him!" We can tell already that this child will be spoiled by his grandpa =P And now we also know why Marc so desperately wished for the child to be a boy. =P
The new child's name is Tucker! Yes, Tucker =P I wasn't lying when I said I was going to use this name! We just have to be extra careful not to let a certain neighbor across the street eat our son . .
He is an Insane Genius. =P Traits were picked randomly because I couldn't decide what to choose =P This is going to be fun . .
So yes, much excitement! To be honest with you, I was a little worried there for a second because I know twins run in the family and I didn't want to deal with that again--
Oh.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Meet June, Tucker's twin sister! Fraternal twins! And they're both vampires, by the way. Goodie.
Her traits are Artistic and Genius, chosen by Steve himself, considering I once again couldn't figure out what to give her (I'm not used to having a choice, considering I believe Darlene's drinking caused the game to take away my privilege to choose April and May's traits and Carolyn came with hers).
Fun Fact: Artistic and Genius are the first two traits that Marc started out with as well. Ahhhh, the memories of baby Marc in that old, tiny house in Riverview.
Anyway!
Cribs! They're slightly ruining my replica house. But that's okay.
Meet Jeeves, our new butler. I don't actually remember his real name so I'm just going to call him Jeeves. Which is pretty sad considering I'm pretty sure we've had this exact same butler before, but I'm too lazy to go back in my archives and find out his name. Anyway, he's going to help us with the new babies. Because even a skeleton maid is not enough. It's just not enough.
Darlene decides she wants to celebrate the birth of the Treehouse Twins by throwing a party. But pretty soon we discover why this is such a bad idea.
It's an almost universal truth that nobody likes the sound of a crying baby. And that's pretty much all babies do. And yet people wonder why I don't like them.
Anyway, it doesn't make for a good party. People come into the room, look at the babies, go "Oo babies!! . . All right, it's noisy, I'm getting out of here"
And they're pretty stinky too. Forgot about that. Strike 2, babies.
May is surprisingly willing to help with her new (much younger) siblings, though! She doesn't help out as much as Marc and Darlene or even the butler but anything other than moody whining is a surprise from her.
Speaking of May, she was surprisingly absent during the time of her mother's pregnancy! What's she been up to? Not really something I'm entirely comfortable with . .
She's been flirting with her neighbor, Jamil. Okay, he's kinda gross, but teenagers sometimes harmlessly flirt with their friends. She's gotta get over Cruz's death some way or another, right?
Okay, that's kinda getting into the Danger Zone, but we'll live through it. I mean, he's way younger than her, it'll never work out. He's like, the equivalent of a Freshman and she's a Senior about to graduate from high school. She's got a reputation to uphold, she'll never go for him! And why are you doing this in a bathroom?
OH WHAT THE HELL.
You have your first kiss with THIS dork?! Not with Cruz, not even with Ethan, but freakin' JAMIL? Where are your standards? You haven't even known him for that long! Is this because you're about to turn into an adult, so you gotta get out all your first romantic experiences before then? Couldn't you have at least chosen someone cuter? With finally so many young teenage boys so abundant, you coulda chosen someone else, ANYONE else. What about the Fox kids, they're cute aren't they?
AND WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS IN A BATHROOM.
May: "So, Jamil, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go on a date
You know what, I should be writing dialogue for all of this, but I just can't. I can't even take this seriously. It's an important first event for May (I mean, Carolyn never even got an experience like this . . well, as far as we're aware. Kinky medieval hijinks?) but it's all so random and anticlimatic that any sort of dialogue I could supply would seem rushed and inappropriate. She met and talked to Jamil only through school so maybe if I coulda seen some of that then I'd have something to work with. But I think for now I'll spare you.
So yeah. May goes on her first date.
To the art musuem!
To the theater!
And out to dinner!
But what's that strange structure in the background? That wasn't here before!
It's a gypsy caravan! For getting your fortune told!
And who's that unfamiliar person about to go in? A gypsy? =O
No, it's Darlene! Brand new sparkling Darlene! I decided since this whole vampire thing is going to have to be permanent no matter how anyone likes it (I like it just fine though-- I thought she'd have this done much sooner TBH) that I should give her some suitable threads!
Anyway, Darlene spends hours getting her fortune told and after all that they just tell me a bunch of bullshit that doesn't make sense. Hey, I'm sure that's at least pretty accurate to real life sometimes, right?
One thing that the fortune teller couldn't tell me though, is what we'd receive in the mail soon afterward!
We'd gotten a package in the mail, in which the game stated it was from Grandma, in which she exclaimed that she was very excited about hearing the news about the Treehouse Twins and contained inside the package is two matching dolls for them. She further explained that she would like these dolls to be with them all their lives so they will be able to watch over them.
Now "Grandma" is pretty vague, as it could either be Darlene's mother, Judy, or well . . me! And looking at the creepy, clown-like (and therefore utterly adorable) features of the dolls, I can almost guarantee it would come from Grandma Angie =P Hell, I want a pair myself! I can only guess that the fact that I live in an entirely other city and therefore never have to come over and take care of the children is why I suddenly don't seem to hate them enough not to give them presents like I didn't with April and May =P
Meanwhile, we get a visitor who wants to share her excitement about the twins too . .
April: "New brother and sister?! You guys have been busy while I was away! Holy crap!"
April: "And who are you?! Don't hold her so carelessly like that! That's my sister, you know! Leave it to Mom and Dad to leave a complete stranger to take care of them . ."
April: "Sup, sis?"
May: "April!"
April: "Whatchu been up to?"
May: "Just got back from prom. Been going out with this one guy from school but when I asked him to dance tonight, he refused."
April: "Fucker"
May: "Oh, and we got some more siblings now too."
April: "I saw! Geez, didn't see that coming"
May: "I know, right?"
April: "Sooooo, what were you planning on doing next?"
May: "Head to bed. Why?"
April: "Heading to bed, huh?"
April: "TOO BAD!!"
May: "Uuugh, cut it out, would you?!"
April: "Hope you like to FLOAT in your sleep!"
May: "Get outta here!!"
I guess teasing a sibling never ends!
Meanwhile . .
Guess who's back from military school?!