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*Points to icon*
My depression has reared up again in the past few days. It's been a while, and I always somehow manage to forget just how miserable it is. I've been snapping at people a lot at work. And I just have no patience for anything. I go from being just fine to being super-frustrated to wanting to curl up into a little ball, all at an alarming rate.
I was over at Rod's last night and today. It was nothing terrible, but it wasn't good. I always have trouble sleeping in someone else's bed, but last night I was just staring at the ceiling ant I started crying. Luckily, Rod didn't wake up. This morning we were walking around town, and I guess it was pretty obvious I wasn't having a good time of it. He asked me what was wrong when we got back to his place, and I started crying and couldn't talk for a minute. I did manage to explain that when I say "I'm depressed" I don't mean "I'm sad about something that happened", I mean "My brain chemistry is stupid and sometimes I can't not be miserable."
He was understanding, as he suffers from it as well. As bad as it sounds, that's kind of a relief, as it's sometimes hard to get people to understand.
So, he didn't pressure me to talk about anything, and we just watched some Fawlty Towers instead. I felt bad that I ruined our day together. He's been super-busy and stressed with work, and we haven't been able to see much of each other lately. I know my crazy mood swings aren't exactly the most enjoyable way to spend the weekend.
My depression has reared up again in the past few days. It's been a while, and I always somehow manage to forget just how miserable it is. I've been snapping at people a lot at work. And I just have no patience for anything. I go from being just fine to being super-frustrated to wanting to curl up into a little ball, all at an alarming rate.
I was over at Rod's last night and today. It was nothing terrible, but it wasn't good. I always have trouble sleeping in someone else's bed, but last night I was just staring at the ceiling ant I started crying. Luckily, Rod didn't wake up. This morning we were walking around town, and I guess it was pretty obvious I wasn't having a good time of it. He asked me what was wrong when we got back to his place, and I started crying and couldn't talk for a minute. I did manage to explain that when I say "I'm depressed" I don't mean "I'm sad about something that happened", I mean "My brain chemistry is stupid and sometimes I can't not be miserable."
He was understanding, as he suffers from it as well. As bad as it sounds, that's kind of a relief, as it's sometimes hard to get people to understand.
So, he didn't pressure me to talk about anything, and we just watched some Fawlty Towers instead. I felt bad that I ruined our day together. He's been super-busy and stressed with work, and we haven't been able to see much of each other lately. I know my crazy mood swings aren't exactly the most enjoyable way to spend the weekend.