toffs. "I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob ."
I've got a fistful of love
That's coming your way, baby
Come baby, come: you know what I mean
And the drum beats rising higher
Bang goes my self control
I've got your name on my face
Your face on my mind, baby
Come baby, come
Graffiti my soul
Every dog will have its day & mine will be in front of a jury
I'm the high plains drifter and I'm never in a hurry
name! Mallory Byron Carmichael. Just Mal, thanks!
birthday! 25 September 2005 (16).
home! Renfrewshire, Scotland.
bloodline! Pureblood.
wand! 10 1/2", cedar, dragon heartstring from a Peruvian Vipertooth.
house & year! Slytherin, 6th year.
classes! Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Muggle Studies (mandatory).
O.W.L.s!
Arithmancy: O
Astronomy: E
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Charms: E
Herbology: A
History of Magic: A
Muggle Studies: E
Potions: P
Transfiguration: A
appearance! Mal looks noticeably older than he is, though he frequently fails to act like it and the facade doesn't hold up under close scrutiny. It's partly his size -- he's a half-inch shy of hitting the six foot mark and still growing, and is pretty much the opposite of 'scrawny' -- and partly because his body language is so utterly confident that it adds a few years, especially when he's surrounded by his yearmates for comparison. Even his adolescent clumsiness (exacerbated by too much growth too quickly, so even though he looks like he ought to be a terror on the field, he's not quite coordinated enough for competitive sports) is transformed into nothing less than calculated cockiness. He sprawls when he sits, will always find a way to put his feet up on a nearby chair or desk (muddy shoes right over your finished homework, no less), and visits from Mal tend to leave one's house looking as though a cyclone has touched down. Personal space is one of those fancy theoretical notions he'll leave to the Ravenclaws, ta, and he seems to have no problem getting unnecessarily close to people -- a friendly arm around the shoulder, putting his feet up on your lap, hair-ruffling as he walks on past your desk -- and the more someone seems to mind, the more he'll do it. He has what one might euphemistically call a presence, although the connotations of that are up to the individual saying it. As a pureblood, he mainly wears robes and his Muggle clothing is on the conservative side, with what might be termed 'business casual' if he hadn't more or less perfected the it-took-me-hours-to-look-this-rumpled look.
All of that would be obnoxious enough without the punchline, which is that Mal is blessed with the good looks to (mostly) pull off his behavior. He would never be described as 'striking' or 'fey' (God forbid), but he is handsome in a solid, conventionally Caucasian way, with blond hair framing strong features and good cheekbones and a killer smile (or a smile reminiscent of a crazed killer's -- either way, blindingly white and chipper!). His face may be a bit too long and his mouth a bit too wide to be magazine-worthy, but despite that he's a good-looking kid with the potential to grow into a man equally so. Animated without being clownish, his face seems easy to read since he's usually got it scrunched up from laughing, but his brown eyes can give the game away to a careful observer: he doesn't miss much, no matter how good of a lazy-cat-in-sunshine impression he's giving at the moment.
http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/puffed/18606.html
personality! Sad but true: Mallory Carmichael is not a credit to any of the following -- his House, his school, his family, his country, and he probably wins no points for the human race, when it comes right down to it. He isn't stupid, and he's not anyone's idea of matchless evil, but to call him a paragon of human nature would be stretching the truth well past its breaking point.
Not, on first glance, that there seems to be anything wrong. Mal never seems to be afflicted with the moodiness that other teenagers go through. Not for him are the activities of writing angsty poetry, or staring out the window while sighing over the unsurmountable trials of being sixteen. No, he is sunny enough for a pack of Hufflepuffs, an eternal optimist who always has something positive to say about the bleakest situation. Life is great, and he loves it! He loves people! He loves school! He simply loves it when the Gryffindor Seeker falls off their broom from forty feet up and breaks both legs! ... and that is the downside of his irrepressible cheer: it's a little too irrepressible, especially in situations when there ought not be displays of cheer at all. He doesn't go around pulling the wings off of flies, but he does have a very strong streak of cruelty that delights in the misfortunes of others. And if he can be the cause of them, why, so much the better! His sense of humor is centered around this principle, so that the more someone appears to dislike him and expresses discomfort at his overtures of friendliness, the more he'll keep on needling them.
There's no fiendish master plan behind of any of this -- it's simply how he entertains himself, and once he gets bored he'll wander off and be genuinely puzzled when whoever he was bothering acts hostile toward him afterwards (which, frankly, only repeats the cycle). He doesn't necessarily crave the spotlight, but he does expect attention (and affection) whenever he wants it -- having been the much-petted youngest child in his family, he thinks he's welcome everywhere as a matter of course, and that people will naturally forgive him if he decides to have a bit of fun at their expense. His lack of empathy is mixed in with a genuine and careless affability, which can throw people off-track when they initially meet Mal. He'll be all generous sweetness one moment and then say/do something jaw-droppingly inappropriate without even bothering to pause for air. Essentially he has all the manners of a badly-trained puppy -- metaphorically speaking, he'll bite you and then wag his tail by his food dish, demanding to be fed. For all of his bloodthirsty nature, it's not really in him to hold grudges, and he won't. It's not that he doesn't remember so much as -- well, why bother! He's sure there are better, happier things to concentrate on!
When he was just a wee first-year, he was the type the older girls would play mother hen to; as a sixth-year and towering over most of his professors, not to mention fellow students, he's a bit too big to be playing shadow, but -- he does. It's not that he's easily lead so much as he has no sense of loyalty whatsoever aside to himself, so he'll happily follow along whatever scheme a fellow Slytherin wants him to do, if he feels like it and if his attention span holds out. His sheer size and his good standing with professors (who find him easygoing and oh so helpful in class, and he can therefore talk his way out of most trouble) means that he makes for a pretty good lackey. In Slytherin, this is no doubt more useful than not. And what he can't charm his way out of -- well, he's not adverse to a good scrap, either; there's probably something a little disturbing about his enjoyment in physical fights, which he rarely takes seriously even if the other party does. His actual friends, not just the people he annoys on a regular basis, usually win his respect and loyalty through beating him up, actually, whether that's physically or verbally: Freudian pack dominance at its finest.
Mal's not Crabbe-and-Goyle reincarnated, though. As the son of a highly-intelligent Ravenclaw, he had good study habits drilled into him from an early age. He's not as intelligent as his father and he's certainly not interested in academics, but he has an excellent memory and is the kind of person who never seems to be listening in class, yet manages to ace the tests anyway just from skimming the books the night before the test. (This also means that his long-term retention of coursework is approximately zero, so end-of-term exams and O.W.L.s were considerably more difficult to pass this way; practicals are also another story.) It's not learning so much as playing the system, something he's very good at, so in the end he appears much brighter than he actually is, at least where raw numbers are concerned. For example, his N.E.W.T. classes are heavy on the theory/hands-on work instead of wandwork, which would require more practice outside the classroom. If there's a shortcut, he feels morally obligated to take advantage of it; one can easily see why he wasn't selected to be in Ravenclaw. Intelligence isn't an art, it's a tool, a way to finagle a bit of social status. And if there's anything Mal is serious about, it's being in the good graces of his social betters. He has frequently taken the rap for something an older student has done, not because he is selfless but because doing so is better in the long run -- that student will either be a.) obligated to return the favor later on and/or b.) cleared from suspicion so they can keep on doing what he wants from them (dodgy potions, cheat sheets on tests, etc.).
In the future, one can easily see Mal becoming some sort of sociopath; right now, he's not quite there -- he's just an incredibly spoiled teenager who has enough natural talent to have coasted through life without any bumps. If anything, he's a male gold-digger in the making -- one of the things he loves is complimenting the ladies. Even the ugly ones. Even the ones he secretly can't stand. You never know when they might come in handy! -- which isn't necessarily healthy or harmless but at least doesn't forebode a future as an axe-murderer. Well, probably.
sexuality! Heterosexual. He's comfortable enough with his sexuality that he thinks joking around is hilarious -- especially when the other party doesn't agree -- but any overtures aren't serious; his preference is for the opposite sex when it comes to that. ('That' being an event he has yet to experience, actually.) On the flipside of this: his favorite person is clearly himself, and he does not understand, at all, why anyone wouldn't agree!
family!
father Edward "Eddie" Carmichael [b. 1978, Ravenclaw, pureblood]
mother Emerald Carmichael, née Warrington [b. 1974, Slytherin, pureblood]
sister Catherine "Kitty" Carmichael [b. 2002, Ravenclaw, pureblood]
sister Eleanor "Ellie" Carmichael [b. 2002, Slytherin, pureblood]
half-sister Vanessa Carmichael [b. 2000, Hufflepuff, halfblood]
half-sister Carys Rees [b. 2006, Ravenclaw, halfblood]
(Carys was the product of a one-night stand between Eddie Carmichael and a Muggle woman whose name Eddie didn't quite catch... Mallory has no idea his classmate is actually his half-sister, and apparently neither does anyone else.)
A lower-middle class family, the Carmichaels once had plenty of money, were known to be hard workers in up-and-coming popular businesses, and were generally a respectable if not genteel part of wizarding Scotland, but any upward social mobility halted and then plummeted when Eddie's grandfather was found to be laundering large amounts of money to Grindelwald's cause. Eddie's father and Eddie himself have altered that somewhat, but for the Carmichaels being pureblood is certainly no mark of glamor, then or now. Most of the Carmichaels except for that unfortunate exception were staunchly anti-purist and by extension anti-Voldemort.
The Warringtons, on the other hand, were from a different socioeconomic tier altogether. Solid pillars-of-the-community types, most of them went in for jobs at the Ministry, especially in law. They weren't hugely wealthy, but they were People. They were also predominantly Voldemort supporters through both wars (there was a Warrington in the Inquisitorial Squad in Harry's fifth year, to whom Emerald is a distant relation), which cost them at the end. Emerald, whose marriage to Eddie would be her third, clearly brokered the match to help mend the Warrington reputation -- and their Gringotts vaults.
Mallory is the youngest and only male and was therefore spoiled rotten as a little boy; he gets on swimmingly with his sisters and mother, although it should be noted that Catherine (a Healer-in-Training at St. Mungo's) and Vanessa (an accountant at Gringotts) are honest-to-goodness upstanding citizens and all around decent people, and therefore have a little less to do with the family at large. Eleanor is a silly, vain creature who takes after their mother, and is currently on her fourth fiancé (a keeper this time -- she swears!). Eddie maintains a good relationship with his only son, in a manner of speaking. His way of showing love is to give Mal a few Galleons every time he sees/writes to him; since Mal is well-versed in the currency of affection in the Carmichael household this doesn't really bother him. Besides, what is he supposed to do with his dad? Go aside and throw around a Quaffle? Sit around and talk about life? Get real. As far as he's concerned, he's got a pretty great family -- and that's with the full knowledge that his mother drinks too much and his parents both carry on blatant extramarital affairs. This may or may not explain the entirety of his personality.
The Carmichael family lives in Renfrewshire, Scotland, in a small town mostly inhabited by Muggles. Eddie runs his own potions-brewing business, and Emerald bustles around England doing fundraisers for various causes (none of which she particularly believes in, but the positive publicity is nice).
history: background!
If there had been a Hogwarts yearbook, Eddie Carmichael's photograph would have been seen under "Most Likely to Succeed" -- the unspoken addendum to that being, of course, "-- getting into Azkaban upon leaving school". His family wasn't destitute, but he did have to buy his share of secondhand textbooks and clothes (being one of five children didn't help), and hearing the old family stories about how the Carmichaels used to have money to spare drove him mad -- it just wasn't fair.
Fairness being somewhat lacking outside of Hufflepuff creed and in real life, Eddie put the chip on his shoulder aside and blazed through Hogwarts with top marks and a reputation for selling potions and charms that either worked brilliantly or failed with spectacular thoroughness (caveat emptor, he'd shrug when students would demand their money back). He was a charismatic fellow but underneath that was a Slytherin-worthy desire to make it to the top, and he didn't even bother unpacking after leaving Hogwarts for the last time before arranging job interviews up and down Diagon Alley. Nothing seemed to promise the success he so badly craved and, after a few months, he drew a loan from Gringotts and set up his own apothecary. The timing was good, if not the exact circumstances -- in 1997, Voldemort was again gaining power, and a frightened wizarding population turned to what feeble protection they could afford from whoever was offering it. Well, Eddie was offering, all right, and his protective potions flew off the shelves as quickly as he could make them. (If they worked no better than his Baruffio's Brain Elixir back in school, well, it wasn't as though any actual potion could protect one from the wrath of the Death Eaters, and Eddie's hatred of Voldemort and his kind was at least genuine -- any known Dark supporter who entered his store always suffered peculiar and painful effects from his potions. Ravenclaw morality, this.) Ironically enough, when Voldemort's control over the wizarding world seemed complete and things seemed completely hopeless -- that's when Eddie's shop did its most brisk business: healing potions were high in demand. By the time the battle at Hogwarts rolled around, he'd made enough to be able to hire a couple of much-needed employees and rent a bigger shop. That was the extent of his war involvement, really; he had no realization that the final battle had taken place until after it was over, and as a pureblood he'd had no need to go on the run, so life remained largely unchanged for him during that period of time.
Two years later, his business was more successful than ever, and he was in talks with a partner to open up another store in Wales. The wizarding world was on the mend, and things seemed to be going well, all things considered. Conscious of the many facets of success, however, Eddie decided that it was High Time to get married, or at least have a steady girlfriend; image was everything. He wasn't actually interested in dating but figured that it was just another business transaction, and the amount of women who agreed with this point of view were many. There was a negligible engagement and an even-more negligible marriage that lasted two weeks, and then in 2001 he married Emerald Warrington.
Their decision to do so was hardly romantic -- there may have been checklists and comparisons of bank statements involved. She already had a one-year-old daughter from a previous marriage, and her family's reputation was smarting from the recent war; he could use her family's name to build up business in certain unsavory quarters, and having a smart, socially-savvy wife always helped one's image. Everyone wins, they decided, and as soon as the honeymoon was over retreated to opposite ends of the house, where they have mostly stayed for the remainder of their marriage. They make an attractive couple and make sure the public eye sees them as such, but behind closed doors they've remained business partners to the core -- both of them carry on any number of affairs and have never been discreet about them to each other. (The running joke between the Carmichael kids is that their parents haven't divorced only because the pre-nup wasn't as ironclad as Eddie thought it would be.) No doubt the distance has also helped their clashing politics from becoming an issue as well, because in all honesty, they get along fine -- they both know what their marriage is, and even more what it isn't, and are more or less satisfied with the outcome.
history: childhood! Emerald gave birth to twin girls in 2002, Catherine and Eleanor, and Mallory followed in 2005, conceived during a particularly rowdy New Year's party -- the Carmichaels had a tendency to get affectionate when smashed, alcohol usually being necessary for sexual contact between them at all. Although the family wasn't that wealthy -- Eddie's income tended to go right back into the business -- they were comfortable enough, and Mal grew up the center of attention, as far as his sisters were concerned. They pretty much had to stick together, since Eddie was always at work and Emerald, while always professing to love and adore her darling, darling babies, didn't actually want to bother with them until they were out of the mushed-pea-flinging, dirty-diapers stage. Responsibility was firmly in the domain of the girls and the babysitters, though, so Mal went through childhood rather oblivious.
That the Warringtons were staunch blood purists and Dark-affiliated affected him rather less than one would think -- Emerald's parents disapproved of Eddie as a social-climbing blood traitor (to be fair, accurate on all counts) and so rarely visited their grandchildren; Emerald herself was more of a product of propaganda than a staunch believer in it. So while Mal carries the belief that he is, by birth, better than Muggles -- well, a lot of pro-Muggle wizards would say the same; his prejudice runs more along the line of "oh, those poor helpless things" than wanting to eliminate them from the face of the earth. (Admittedly, this dehumanizing tactic is no better than violence and a lot more insidious a prejudice.) In fact, living in a mostly-Muggle town, many of his childhood playmates were non-magical, so it's not that he has a problem associating with them. If he harbors any ill-will to a group at all, it is actually to purebloods who are of a higher social status than he is; he picked up his father's grudge about this and the varying slights from 'better' pureblood families hasn't helped either. He's not very political, though, and figures that all this war over the subject is probably based on something inherently wrong with halfbloods and Muggleborn, even if it's not their fault, exactly. In any case, it's not like it affects him personally.
history: school! Being from a magical family and displaying signs of magic from an early age, Mal naturally expected to go to Hogwarts, and naturally he expected to go to the best House, Slytherin, like Mama had always wanted -- so, while the Hat told him he might do well in Hufflepuff, he ultimately asked to be placed in the house of Salazar instead.
School was and is not actually a place Mal is thrilled to be in. For one, he was no longer the baby of the family, and couldn't expect any special treatment. He wasn't used to having to try to get his way with anything; he just expected things to be handed to him on a silver platter. In that respect, and although it's very much an unconscious thing, school has been a positive influence for him -- it's forced him to actually sing for his supper, so to speak. Sure, Dad had always made him stock shelves on weekends but he had a habit of skiving off to go buy ice cream instead, a tactic that didn't work nearly so well when it came to not doing school assignments. Eventually he managed to carve out a niche for himself in the Slytherin hierarchy, not anywhere near as high as he would have liked, but at least not an outcast either. He was big for his age but not athletic enough for Quidditch, and he got into trouble one too many times to obtain Prefectship, but all in all he's not doing too badly.
history: childhood memory! When Mal was seven, he and his sisters got to go on a summer holiday to Greece -- a rare treat and even rarer in that both parents were actually going along. Mal was playing on the beach when Eleanor and Catherine joined him, sans the tutor that Emerald had hired two months previously. Where was Mr. Oakby?, he asked.
With Mama, Eleanor explained, every bit the smug nine-year-old, rolling her eyes at Mal's perfect idiocy. Obviously, since Mr. Oakby was Mama's special friend, otherwise why would he be in Greece with them? And, seeing his mother flirt outrageously with the tutor later that evening (Eddie was nowhere in sight), Mal realized for the first time that there was probably a reason he only saw one parent at a time, most days. Instead of feeling sad or outraged, he decided that his parents were pretty smart. After all, he got bored of his sisters sometimes; getting married to one person forever and ever was probably even more boring than that.
(The euphemism was adopted by the other Carmichael children, who had cause to use it quite often. The most memorable of their parents' Very Special Friends was Eddie's bookkeeper, who they once found stuffing family jewelry down her cleavage, although the Special Friend who was mum's fundraising co-chair for the Society of Impoverished Welsh Witches was a close second. Vanessa still claims that her allergies to cats stemmed from him and his fur coats.)
PB: Chris Lowell.
Game: toffs.
Credits:
Icons to puffed/swansong @ gj/ij or scribbld.
Header lyrics to Beastie Boys ('High Plains Drifter') & Girls Aloud ('Graffiti My Soul').
HP universe to JKR & co. Making no profit, meaning no disrespect. (My mockery is love.)