if I am lost for a day, try and find me.filmzbyzachJune 14 2009, 06:35:56 UTC
When he shows up to the apartment, he doesn't knock right away. Nate said the door was open, but that doesn't automatically call for an utterly unannounced entrance, and Zach's never been comfortable with entrances and exits like Kramer anyway--especially not of late though. He runs his hands through his hair, inhaling, exhaling, half turning away and half turning back, repeating. At last, when he does knock, he almost thinks he should take it back, should just go home---is it home really though---and ignore the day and the night as much as possible.
Then he feels immediately ridiculous for such self-indulgence. He doesn't remember being this way once, and it unsettles him to think he's done the opposite of growing here, despite the changes and the experiences.
Waiting, because as said he can't just walk in, even if invited to, he leans his forehead numbly against the flat of the door itself. Maybe the knock was too soft? If so, he really will just turn back. Indecision is his middle name, lately...and maybe his first and last too.
if I am lost for a day, try and find me.malleableworldJune 14 2009, 06:42:33 UTC
Nate has been waiting at the couch near the door, his legs bunched up against his chest. He's worried; it's not a new feeling, to worry about a friend like Zach, especially since there are parts of each other that are so alike. He knows that there isn't any part of Zach that will allow him to enter the apartment without knocking, and so he's listening carefully for the knock.
When it comes he stands and opens the door, carefully. Something is wrong, and Nate knows it, and when he takes the other boy's weight against the door he feels it even more strongly. He pauses and waits for Zach to stand up, completely ready to help him up if he needs to.
"Zach," he says, quietly, his voice almost impossible to hear. "I'm here."
if I am lost for a day, try and find me.filmzbyzachJune 14 2009, 06:53:26 UTC
"I'm tired," he's complaining already, but somehow it sounds more like a fact than anything as subjective as whining tends to be, laden with how ridiculous he finds his own feelings at this point, and how ready he is to go home. Lately, it's been the first few times he's wondered if never seeing Claire again is worse than seeing her every day and feeling like he's gotten hit by a fast moving car. It's a combination of things either way that bring him here now, to a friend from another world who he doesn't really deserve, because the truth is his friendship and, yes, love, of Claire Bennet, has handicapped him in ways he never wanted to admit, but is forced to at least recognize these days. He feels guilty for showing up at all and even as he leans against the blond he stands up again, swallowing discomfort
( ... )
if I am lost for a day, try and find me.malleableworldJune 14 2009, 06:58:39 UTC
Nate doesn't say anything as Zach walks in and proclaims how tired he is, and continues not to say anything as he curls up on his couch. Nate instead feels; he keeps his memories to himself and stays out of Zach's head, even though there's a deep and almost overwhelming sensation to pluck whatever it is that's hurting Zach out. He feels, instead, anxious, and worried, and like his stomach is going to split open. It's not because Zach is on his couch as much as it's because something has driven Zach here, and as much as Nate likes him, he hates seeing him this sad, if sad is even the right word.
"It's okay," he utters, softly, and moves to sit next to him. He hopes that Zach thinks he's safe because he wants Zach to feel safe with him, but he almost thinks that it might be too much to ask. He resists, then, for now, putting an arm around the other boy and drawing him into an embrace. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Comments 56
The flowers are real enough.
[pause]
Bye.
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[It doesn't sound very good]
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Nate?
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Then he feels immediately ridiculous for such self-indulgence. He doesn't remember being this way once, and it unsettles him to think he's done the opposite of growing here, despite the changes and the experiences.
Waiting, because as said he can't just walk in, even if invited to, he leans his forehead numbly against the flat of the door itself. Maybe the knock was too soft? If so, he really will just turn back. Indecision is his middle name, lately...and maybe his first and last too.
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When it comes he stands and opens the door, carefully. Something is wrong, and Nate knows it, and when he takes the other boy's weight against the door he feels it even more strongly. He pauses and waits for Zach to stand up, completely ready to help him up if he needs to.
"Zach," he says, quietly, his voice almost impossible to hear. "I'm here."
Those two words aren't simply literal.
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"It's okay," he utters, softly, and moves to sit next to him. He hopes that Zach thinks he's safe because he wants Zach to feel safe with him, but he almost thinks that it might be too much to ask. He resists, then, for now, putting an arm around the other boy and drawing him into an embrace. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He assumes that the answer will be no.
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