Gratitude: 12-18
Whoa dang, I really dropped the ball on that one. I thought I could keep this up during our trip to Kansas City, but it fell by the wayside as we had our adventure. So I'll try to do some catch-up and get back into the groove...
Thing the 12th: We drove down to KC in one go... ten hours during a narsty heat wave. Even though the weather was so beastly, the trip was relatively comfortable: Linc happily read and chattered, we listened to podcasts, we worked on crossword puzzles, we had great music. Best of all, we have a new car with terrific mileage and air conditioning. I still look at Ginger in a parking lot and think how cute she is. This is the most awesome little car and I feel so fortunate that circumstances aligned in such a way as to make it possible for her to be ours.
Thing the 13th: Eight years ago today, we threw a little party for 200 of our best friends. It was such a blast, and I'm so amazed at how many fascinating, passionate people I know (and of course, by moving to Kansas City and then Chicago, I've only added to the roster since then). Somehow, I manage to find and befriend some amazing human beings, and I'm so grateful they are in my life. The only drawback is that, with more friends, I have less time to spend nurturing our friendships. This makes our interactions extra-special, when we jam in that quality time during a brief visit, but sometimes I am just overwhelmed at how terrific all my friends are.
Thing the 14th: I am fantastically lucky in how terrific my experience as a mother was (and is!). We never had to deal with autism, asthma, lying, drug abuse, shoplifting, runaways... somehow, I totally missed so many of the parenting nightmares I hear so much about from other moms. My kids aren't perfect... but every time a mistake was made, it was dealt with in a way that fostered honesty, compassion, understanding, and learning (and I don't mean by me, but by my kids). Sure, they made mistakes... but what was so important was that each kid LEARNED from their mistakes, and took responsibility and faced the music, dealt with the fallout and made reparations, and then took steps to make sure that particular mistake didn't happen again. Once in a while, I get all vain and start thinking it has something to do with my parenting style and decisions... but I've seen enough great parents have to wrestle with problems that I remember to be humble and utterly, totally grateful for my kids arriving with such good heads on their shoulders. I honestly feel like I won the lottery four times!
Thing the 15th: Today was Julia's 21st birthday, which got me to thinking about mothers and daughters. She would be the first to admit that she had a few rough years in there, but I think it's safe to say that things are in a good place now. Living for a year with my mother really gave her some perspective on what my own experience as a daughter growing up was like, and I think she appreciates how I specifically and intentionally made parenting decisions that were different from what happened to me, that might have given her a few advantages and perhaps knocked down some barriers. However, I must acknowledge that my own mother had done the same; even though we didn't have a great relationship, it was still a darned sight better than what she had had with her own mother. So, while I am still working on the body image and physical restraint/punishment issues, I am grateful for my own mother's efforts to raise her daughters. She'd had a pretty hard row to hoe in the first place, and she did the very best she could do with the cards she was dealt.
Thing the 16th: Yesterday, we went to Starkers for an anniversary lunch (we'd been married eights years on the 13th, but Bill couldn't get away that day). I peeked into the kitchen when we arrived, and Chef John McClure lit up like a spotlight when he saw me. He came out to chat with us not once but twice during our (excellent!) meal, and then gave us a wonderful dessert (ice cream, six different kinds of cookies, and an amazing lavender/lemon pot de creme) to help celebrate. I felt so very blessed to know this fellow, and so many other generous and kind folks who have been so good to us, especially during the years when we were so strapped that it was really hard for us to return the gestures.
Thing the 17th: Today was the 11.10 (11 year, 10 month) celebration of Bob Day... the day Bill and I got together. Every day since then, I have felt such joy and appreciation for being loved as deeply and honestly as the way Bill loves me. I still can't believe I got a second chance at having a family with such an awesome person, and when Ben Folds sings "Luckiest," I secretly know that he's wrong... it's not Ben, it's me that got so lucky.
Thing the 18th: The day before we left Kansas City, I got some hard news... someone I really like was given a terminal diagnosis, and I don't know if I will have a chance to see her again. This once again drove home how fantastically lucky I am with my own health, and that of my immediate family. None of my kids have any sort of chronic condition, and while my sister and dad have had a couple of scares, nothing seems imminent. I know we all have to go one of these days, but for now... I am so grateful that I don't have any kind of a countdown hanging over my head.
Thing the 12th: We drove down to KC in one go... ten hours during a narsty heat wave. Even though the weather was so beastly, the trip was relatively comfortable: Linc happily read and chattered, we listened to podcasts, we worked on crossword puzzles, we had great music. Best of all, we have a new car with terrific mileage and air conditioning. I still look at Ginger in a parking lot and think how cute she is. This is the most awesome little car and I feel so fortunate that circumstances aligned in such a way as to make it possible for her to be ours.
Thing the 13th: Eight years ago today, we threw a little party for 200 of our best friends. It was such a blast, and I'm so amazed at how many fascinating, passionate people I know (and of course, by moving to Kansas City and then Chicago, I've only added to the roster since then). Somehow, I manage to find and befriend some amazing human beings, and I'm so grateful they are in my life. The only drawback is that, with more friends, I have less time to spend nurturing our friendships. This makes our interactions extra-special, when we jam in that quality time during a brief visit, but sometimes I am just overwhelmed at how terrific all my friends are.
Thing the 14th: I am fantastically lucky in how terrific my experience as a mother was (and is!). We never had to deal with autism, asthma, lying, drug abuse, shoplifting, runaways... somehow, I totally missed so many of the parenting nightmares I hear so much about from other moms. My kids aren't perfect... but every time a mistake was made, it was dealt with in a way that fostered honesty, compassion, understanding, and learning (and I don't mean by me, but by my kids). Sure, they made mistakes... but what was so important was that each kid LEARNED from their mistakes, and took responsibility and faced the music, dealt with the fallout and made reparations, and then took steps to make sure that particular mistake didn't happen again. Once in a while, I get all vain and start thinking it has something to do with my parenting style and decisions... but I've seen enough great parents have to wrestle with problems that I remember to be humble and utterly, totally grateful for my kids arriving with such good heads on their shoulders. I honestly feel like I won the lottery four times!
Thing the 15th: Today was Julia's 21st birthday, which got me to thinking about mothers and daughters. She would be the first to admit that she had a few rough years in there, but I think it's safe to say that things are in a good place now. Living for a year with my mother really gave her some perspective on what my own experience as a daughter growing up was like, and I think she appreciates how I specifically and intentionally made parenting decisions that were different from what happened to me, that might have given her a few advantages and perhaps knocked down some barriers. However, I must acknowledge that my own mother had done the same; even though we didn't have a great relationship, it was still a darned sight better than what she had had with her own mother. So, while I am still working on the body image and physical restraint/punishment issues, I am grateful for my own mother's efforts to raise her daughters. She'd had a pretty hard row to hoe in the first place, and she did the very best she could do with the cards she was dealt.
Thing the 16th: Yesterday, we went to Starkers for an anniversary lunch (we'd been married eights years on the 13th, but Bill couldn't get away that day). I peeked into the kitchen when we arrived, and Chef John McClure lit up like a spotlight when he saw me. He came out to chat with us not once but twice during our (excellent!) meal, and then gave us a wonderful dessert (ice cream, six different kinds of cookies, and an amazing lavender/lemon pot de creme) to help celebrate. I felt so very blessed to know this fellow, and so many other generous and kind folks who have been so good to us, especially during the years when we were so strapped that it was really hard for us to return the gestures.
Thing the 17th: Today was the 11.10 (11 year, 10 month) celebration of Bob Day... the day Bill and I got together. Every day since then, I have felt such joy and appreciation for being loved as deeply and honestly as the way Bill loves me. I still can't believe I got a second chance at having a family with such an awesome person, and when Ben Folds sings "Luckiest," I secretly know that he's wrong... it's not Ben, it's me that got so lucky.
Thing the 18th: The day before we left Kansas City, I got some hard news... someone I really like was given a terminal diagnosis, and I don't know if I will have a chance to see her again. This once again drove home how fantastically lucky I am with my own health, and that of my immediate family. None of my kids have any sort of chronic condition, and while my sister and dad have had a couple of scares, nothing seems imminent. I know we all have to go one of these days, but for now... I am so grateful that I don't have any kind of a countdown hanging over my head.