Thoughts about fat acceptance
A friend was blogging about her own struggle with body image and fat and food, and I wrote a long response that I wanted to hang on to.
A few things Linda Bacon's book really shook up what I had been taught about size and cultural beliefs (and various other explorations elsewhere have confirmed her conclusions). Here's my very poor attempt to outline how my thinking has been changed:
Obesity is an inflammatory reaction, often from stress. The reaction my body had to stress as a child was to bulk up to protect myself. From my body's point of view, the fat was to ensure survival, and when it was removed via caloric restriction, the immune response was to grab and store ANY available calories later... resulting in ultimate weight gain.
I see myself not so much a fat-acceptance person as a science-based realistic person. The weight you are at (plus or minus about 30 lbs.) is your set point, and from what I have personally experienced and confirmed via research, it is VERY difficult and potentially quite damaging to go below that point.
There are a lot of studies going on (you betcha!) on how to shift that set point without triggering the gain mechanism, but right now it is not a possibility. What IS possible is working to create the best situation with the cards I have been dealt. That does not mean rolling over and shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Oh well! I'm gonna be fat no matter what, so bring on the Ben & Jerry's!" It means adopting the exact same health goals that I would have if I was at what our society considers an idea weight: exercise, eat well, stay hydrated, sleep when I am tired, meditate, that sort of thing.
Fat acceptance, to me, is more about erasing the social snap judgments we all make subconsciously about fat people, erroneous beliefs that are hammered into our brains from birth. I think it should be just about Acceptance in general: don't make judgments about ANYBODY based on what you see (size, skin color, wheelchair, whatever). In our world, "acceptance" has come to mean some sort of celebration or pride. I am not proud that I am fat. I wish I weren't ashamed and embarrassed that I am fat, but those programs were written when I was so small that I despair of eradicating them in my lifetime... but I SHOULDN'T be ashamed/embarrassed. I should just be able to be fat, the same way that I am a woman, or mostly German, or farsighted.
One day, I commented that I ate less than either Bill or my older kids, yet I was still huge and perceived as a glutton. Bill said, "Yeah, if I were you, I'd be pissed." Anger doesn't seem to change anything, though, and I can't make everybody read stuff like this, but I CAN work on accepting the situation I have, and working to make my life the very best it can be within the parameters I have been given. Railing against whatever happened at an early age to make me like this, wallowing in guilt and shame for every bite of food I take, and automatically inwardly sneering at those who share my shape are all useless and damaging habits I need to struggle with on a daily basis. But I am aware of those behaviors within myself, and I am working to change them. I am trying to develop compassion and tolerance and yes, acceptance for myself and for others in the same boat.
I hope you find your path to health in a way that encourages contentment and joy!
ETA: Open this PDF and search for Linda's article, "Tales of Mice and Leptin: False Promises and New Hope in Weight Control." It's a terrific blend of social observations and lab research, as well as a crash course in many of the areas her book covers.
A few things Linda Bacon's book really shook up what I had been taught about size and cultural beliefs (and various other explorations elsewhere have confirmed her conclusions). Here's my very poor attempt to outline how my thinking has been changed:
Obesity is an inflammatory reaction, often from stress. The reaction my body had to stress as a child was to bulk up to protect myself. From my body's point of view, the fat was to ensure survival, and when it was removed via caloric restriction, the immune response was to grab and store ANY available calories later... resulting in ultimate weight gain.
I see myself not so much a fat-acceptance person as a science-based realistic person. The weight you are at (plus or minus about 30 lbs.) is your set point, and from what I have personally experienced and confirmed via research, it is VERY difficult and potentially quite damaging to go below that point.
There are a lot of studies going on (you betcha!) on how to shift that set point without triggering the gain mechanism, but right now it is not a possibility. What IS possible is working to create the best situation with the cards I have been dealt. That does not mean rolling over and shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Oh well! I'm gonna be fat no matter what, so bring on the Ben & Jerry's!" It means adopting the exact same health goals that I would have if I was at what our society considers an idea weight: exercise, eat well, stay hydrated, sleep when I am tired, meditate, that sort of thing.
Fat acceptance, to me, is more about erasing the social snap judgments we all make subconsciously about fat people, erroneous beliefs that are hammered into our brains from birth. I think it should be just about Acceptance in general: don't make judgments about ANYBODY based on what you see (size, skin color, wheelchair, whatever). In our world, "acceptance" has come to mean some sort of celebration or pride. I am not proud that I am fat. I wish I weren't ashamed and embarrassed that I am fat, but those programs were written when I was so small that I despair of eradicating them in my lifetime... but I SHOULDN'T be ashamed/embarrassed. I should just be able to be fat, the same way that I am a woman, or mostly German, or farsighted.
One day, I commented that I ate less than either Bill or my older kids, yet I was still huge and perceived as a glutton. Bill said, "Yeah, if I were you, I'd be pissed." Anger doesn't seem to change anything, though, and I can't make everybody read stuff like this, but I CAN work on accepting the situation I have, and working to make my life the very best it can be within the parameters I have been given. Railing against whatever happened at an early age to make me like this, wallowing in guilt and shame for every bite of food I take, and automatically inwardly sneering at those who share my shape are all useless and damaging habits I need to struggle with on a daily basis. But I am aware of those behaviors within myself, and I am working to change them. I am trying to develop compassion and tolerance and yes, acceptance for myself and for others in the same boat.
I hope you find your path to health in a way that encourages contentment and joy!
ETA: Open this PDF and search for Linda's article, "Tales of Mice and Leptin: False Promises and New Hope in Weight Control." It's a terrific blend of social observations and lab research, as well as a crash course in many of the areas her book covers.