I'm reading a book by Gabor Maté called
When the Body Says No, and
thinking a lot about how our culture tolerates and treats allergies and other immune-related diseases, and how these things can be triggered/exacerbated by stress, and how, to a child, stress means "not being picked up/carried," "not being allowed to sleep naturally," "being bullied," "being lonely," "being belittled," "not having access to breastmilk, fresh food, sunshine, dirt," "overexposure to antibacterials/antibiotics"...
Obviously, not every child raised on formula comes down with asthma, or becomes obese, or develops diabetes as an adult... and the vast number of variables mean that we will never be able to even really come up with realistic exact numbers for parents to attempt to assess the risks for those things (not to mention the lack of funding for such research, and the lobbying power of the financial interests involved against such research/education). And there are a lot of ideas about innate resiliency and genetics as well.
There are clearly things that can be done (or avoided) to bring a better chance of lifelong health. But our modern patterns of the necessity of working parents, institutionalized daycare and public schools, and the industrialized allopathic medical model of treating symptoms instead of the entire organism, are all huge roadblocks to parents advocating for their children.
I've tried pretty hard to avoid those roadblocks for my own kids, and time will tell how that plays out. But I'm dealing with the fallout of all those stresses that were put on me as a child, and those I've allowed to become part of my life right now.
As Maté is careful to point out right in the beginning of the book, there is no blame to be made and no point in wallowing in victimhood. The goal is health within the parameters of your own body as it is right now.
The ear infection that started months ago is still with me. I've been trying to find a physician to work with who is knowledgable as well as supportive of both mind/body connections and HAES principals...
so far, not much luck. (Link to an online conversation with a physician I had hoped would be a good fit for me... turned out he was just another lose-weight-quick quack.)
I'm hoping Maté's book will give me some other tools to use in trying to beat back the fibro, psoriasis, gluten intolerance, depression, brain fog, and fatigue, in addition to the chronic bacterial/fungal ear infection. My biggest stresses are isolation, being so far from my established support systems, being broke, feeling useless/worthless/helpless, no access to aquatherapy (deep hot water immediately erases joint pain for me) or Nia (the only exercise I really connect with). None of these are likely to change any time soon, which is pretty stressful in itself. I've altered my diet radically, practice meditation and yoga, walk (when it's not dangerously icy out), journal daily (the "three good things" technique)... but the dark days are increasing in number lately and - as I recently told Bill - I am quickly running out of cope.
My body is saying "no" loud and clear.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.