Some Old & Some New
Hello everybody! I feel touched that people remember me. Thank you for adding me back. ♥
Today has been a slow slow stay-at-home day, so I thought I'd break in this journal for real and write a new entry. It's been like two years since I last posted a journal entry so please do forgive me if I ramble.
I became involved in fandom because, five years ago, I was in a really bad place in my life. I had then been home sick for three years, missing highschool and most of my teenaged years and losing all my friends. Looking back, I led a pretty sad life. But somehow, I discovered slash. And fanfic. And fandom. In fandom I came to find not only a venue to let out my budding creativity, but also good, kindhearted and hilariously funny people. If I hadn't started "socializing" over the internet I probably wouldn't have been able to get back out into the real world. Reading and drawing and making long nonsense comment threads within the context of the Harry Potter fandom became a bit of a beacon in the night. If people could like me, and like my fanart, I couldn't be totally useless, right?
Anyway, I loved fandom and it helped me in many way to get where I am today, but...I left. Honestly, I don’t want to get into the details of why I pretty much tossed it out of the window two years ago (I'll save that for when I feel a bit more emo, heh). What happened happened, and while I'm still (and always have been) dealing whith the reason of why I fuck up most everything - I'm back now and I want to start anew. Back in a highly non-comitial sense though, since I've learnt the hard way that I, as so many others, have issues with commitment. Le sigh. So, no promises of frequent posts or quick replies from me, I'm just here to chillax and enjoy fanart and fanfic and reading about other peoples lives and if I do post fanart or rant or write about something funny, then so be it. (And I'm not making that statement for anybody else, just for myself. See, I have a tendency to think something in my head, like "I'm not going to eat that chocolate bar" only to find myself two seconds later licking melted chocolate of my fingers. I'm thinking that if I write something down it'll be easier to actually do. So by saying that I won't fret about not posting fanart or answering comments or commenting on other's entries, maybe I won't!)
Anyway nr 2, (heh, I have such limited vocabulary) I'm in university now! I moved to Gothenburg a little over a year ago, and I love this city. It's beautiful and the people are friendly and riding on the trams are still kinda fun. :) I thought it would be harder than it has been to move across the country from my family. Some of it comes down to the friends I've made here I guess. My class at school is small, only six students, and we all feel like family. It's very giving to be surrounded by people you feel you can be totally open with.
Still, it hasn't all been fun and roses since I started studying here. As I always do I've put a huge amount of pressure on myself, trying to do what I've thought others expected from me and when I've failed to do that...let's just say that my self-esteem has taken some beatings. Last semester my depression flared up, again, and I was home a lot from school. This fall hasn't started that great either. Or, actually it started great but within two weeks I was having migraines and feeling anxiety again. Le sigh. I won't be giving up though. I too can be happy and live a good life. Just gotta keep working on the issues.
I'm so tempted to put another "anyway" here...gah. Gotta learn some more words. :P What has happened in your lives? I know one of you has gotten married - congratulations lddurham!! May you and J have many years of married happiness. :) Of course, um, every one of you has had two birthdays that I've missed, so I guess congratulations are in order for all of you... ♥
Anyway (omg, I couldn't hold it in), I'm off to have some coffee and a homemade cinnamon bun! Actually the bun is part of the first ever batch that I've baked myself and is also, if I may say, quite delicious tasting. :D After that I'm going to scan some new fanart and post it here, yay!
Today has been a slow slow stay-at-home day, so I thought I'd break in this journal for real and write a new entry. It's been like two years since I last posted a journal entry so please do forgive me if I ramble.
I became involved in fandom because, five years ago, I was in a really bad place in my life. I had then been home sick for three years, missing highschool and most of my teenaged years and losing all my friends. Looking back, I led a pretty sad life. But somehow, I discovered slash. And fanfic. And fandom. In fandom I came to find not only a venue to let out my budding creativity, but also good, kindhearted and hilariously funny people. If I hadn't started "socializing" over the internet I probably wouldn't have been able to get back out into the real world. Reading and drawing and making long nonsense comment threads within the context of the Harry Potter fandom became a bit of a beacon in the night. If people could like me, and like my fanart, I couldn't be totally useless, right?
Anyway, I loved fandom and it helped me in many way to get where I am today, but...I left. Honestly, I don’t want to get into the details of why I pretty much tossed it out of the window two years ago (I'll save that for when I feel a bit more emo, heh). What happened happened, and while I'm still (and always have been) dealing whith the reason of why I fuck up most everything - I'm back now and I want to start anew. Back in a highly non-comitial sense though, since I've learnt the hard way that I, as so many others, have issues with commitment. Le sigh. So, no promises of frequent posts or quick replies from me, I'm just here to chillax and enjoy fanart and fanfic and reading about other peoples lives and if I do post fanart or rant or write about something funny, then so be it. (And I'm not making that statement for anybody else, just for myself. See, I have a tendency to think something in my head, like "I'm not going to eat that chocolate bar" only to find myself two seconds later licking melted chocolate of my fingers. I'm thinking that if I write something down it'll be easier to actually do. So by saying that I won't fret about not posting fanart or answering comments or commenting on other's entries, maybe I won't!)
Anyway nr 2, (heh, I have such limited vocabulary) I'm in university now! I moved to Gothenburg a little over a year ago, and I love this city. It's beautiful and the people are friendly and riding on the trams are still kinda fun. :) I thought it would be harder than it has been to move across the country from my family. Some of it comes down to the friends I've made here I guess. My class at school is small, only six students, and we all feel like family. It's very giving to be surrounded by people you feel you can be totally open with.
Still, it hasn't all been fun and roses since I started studying here. As I always do I've put a huge amount of pressure on myself, trying to do what I've thought others expected from me and when I've failed to do that...let's just say that my self-esteem has taken some beatings. Last semester my depression flared up, again, and I was home a lot from school. This fall hasn't started that great either. Or, actually it started great but within two weeks I was having migraines and feeling anxiety again. Le sigh. I won't be giving up though. I too can be happy and live a good life. Just gotta keep working on the issues.
I'm so tempted to put another "anyway" here...gah. Gotta learn some more words. :P What has happened in your lives? I know one of you has gotten married - congratulations lddurham!! May you and J have many years of married happiness. :) Of course, um, every one of you has had two birthdays that I've missed, so I guess congratulations are in order for all of you... ♥
Anyway (omg, I couldn't hold it in), I'm off to have some coffee and a homemade cinnamon bun! Actually the bun is part of the first ever batch that I've baked myself and is also, if I may say, quite delicious tasting. :D After that I'm going to scan some new fanart and post it here, yay!