Wassailing - Pirate Style
Summary: What happens when they start piping Christmas music everywhere.
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JACK SPARROW
As you were gents. Curious as it seems…
Er, what WERE you doin’?
CREW
We were goin’ a wassailing!
JACK SPARROW
A what?
CREW
Wassailing…you know. It’s when…
PINTEL
It’s when you go visitin’ all the rich folks
and make ‘em give you gold and rum.
JACK SPARROW
Sounds a bit like pirating.
GIBBS
Aye, but they don’t hang ye for wassailing.
JACK SPARROW
Mr. Gibbs? What is that?
GIBBS
Ah, this here is a mummer’s mask.
We’re goin’ mumming.
JACK SPARROW
I thought you were goin’ wassailing.
GIBBS
That too. See, the mummers put on masks and do
silly things like break and enter and threaten their
neighbors until they get a bit o’ shine and rum.
JACK SPARROW
Sounds a bit like pirating.
GIBBS
Aye, but they don’t hang you for mumming.
JACK SPARROW
Yet.
PINTEL
I heard tell back in the old days it got so bad
that ol’ Henry VIII made a law saying anyone
that was mumming while wearin’ a mask would
be put in prison for 3 months!
JACK SPARROW
Aye, the good ol’ days. What’s that you’re eating?
GIBBS
Rum balls
JACK SPARROW
Now that’s something I know about.
Have the best rum balls in the Caribbean, mate!