Fanfic: Principles & Principalities
Principles & Principalities
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“William! Look around you. What do you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Why, that’s not quite true, is it now? There is more than nothing. In fact, there is quite a bit of something. The sea, the sky…”
“Yes, I know that, Jack.”
“Then, you know where we are as well?”
“Yes. In the middle of nowhere.”
“Wrong again! We are, in fact, somewhere. Isn’t that right, Mister Gibbs?”
“Aye, Cap’n. I reckon we’re…somewhere. Just not exactly sure where that somewhere is.”
“What does this all have to do with anything, Jack?”
“Well, you see, Will. I brought you out here, in this particular place, for a particular purpose.”
“The middle of nowhere.”
“Exactly. No, belay that. We are, in fact, somewhere. Otherwise we’d be nowhere, which is in itself an impossibility. Now, if you are so set on the particulars, I could calculate the exact location, give or take, where we presently are. Except, that is neither here nor there as to why we are here and not… there.”
“And your purpose for all this is…?”
“Ah! Now we come to the crux of the matter. You see, Will, crews are at best a temporary arrangement, and tend to stay with a ship only as long as there is plunder to be had. If something more shiny comes along, they are inclined to leave.”
“You brought me all the way out here, in the middle of the ocean, to tell me this?”
“No. That were just an observation. The point being that you, being part of said crew, might also be inclined to leave, were something more shiny to come along.”
“Jack. You’re worried I’ll leave? Is that it?”
“Perhaps. Maybe.”
“Couldn’t we have had this discussion somewhere less… nowhere?”
“That’s my point. If we were to have this conversation somewhere, instead of here, in this nowhere somewhere, you might not be as inclined to agree.”
“Agree to what, Jack?”
“William. Look around and tell me, who do you see? Outside of yours truly, that is.”
“Gibbs. Marty. Cotton’s parrot. Why?”
“And do any of these said persons, and er, creatures, have any inclination to disagree with our most agreeable relations?”
“I suppose not. No one’s mentioned it before.”
“Exactly! So, if I were to say, wish to kiss you, such as this. Or perhaps touch you, like this…”
“Jack. Perhaps we ought to wait until we’re below?”
“Perhaps. But you see, William, that would be only because such actions have no place on deck to begin with, not because they are in itself wrong. And if they are not wrong, then there ought to be no reason to not be indulging in said relations, wherever or whenever we wish.”
“But you know that isn’t possible.”
“Correct! Therefore, my reason for bringing you here. This ship is in itself its own world, and as Captain of said ship, that would make me in charge of this said world. And being the one in charge, I declare there to be nothing wrong with what you or I do with each other. Savvy?”
“Um, sure Jack. Though I am not exactly sure what you are trying to say.”
“Matelotage, mate. You, me. Forever.”
“Forever is a long time.”
“Exactly! And who better to spend forever with than you?”
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“William! Look around you. What do you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Why, that’s not quite true, is it now? There is more than nothing. In fact, there is quite a bit of something. The sea, the sky…”
“Yes, I know that, Jack.”
“Then, you know where we are as well?”
“Yes. In the middle of nowhere.”
“Wrong again! We are, in fact, somewhere. Isn’t that right, Mister Gibbs?”
“Aye, Cap’n. I reckon we’re…somewhere. Just not exactly sure where that somewhere is.”
“What does this all have to do with anything, Jack?”
“Well, you see, Will. I brought you out here, in this particular place, for a particular purpose.”
“The middle of nowhere.”
“Exactly. No, belay that. We are, in fact, somewhere. Otherwise we’d be nowhere, which is in itself an impossibility. Now, if you are so set on the particulars, I could calculate the exact location, give or take, where we presently are. Except, that is neither here nor there as to why we are here and not… there.”
“And your purpose for all this is…?”
“Ah! Now we come to the crux of the matter. You see, Will, crews are at best a temporary arrangement, and tend to stay with a ship only as long as there is plunder to be had. If something more shiny comes along, they are inclined to leave.”
“You brought me all the way out here, in the middle of the ocean, to tell me this?”
“No. That were just an observation. The point being that you, being part of said crew, might also be inclined to leave, were something more shiny to come along.”
“Jack. You’re worried I’ll leave? Is that it?”
“Perhaps. Maybe.”
“Couldn’t we have had this discussion somewhere less… nowhere?”
“That’s my point. If we were to have this conversation somewhere, instead of here, in this nowhere somewhere, you might not be as inclined to agree.”
“Agree to what, Jack?”
“William. Look around and tell me, who do you see? Outside of yours truly, that is.”
“Gibbs. Marty. Cotton’s parrot. Why?”
“And do any of these said persons, and er, creatures, have any inclination to disagree with our most agreeable relations?”
“I suppose not. No one’s mentioned it before.”
“Exactly! So, if I were to say, wish to kiss you, such as this. Or perhaps touch you, like this…”
“Jack. Perhaps we ought to wait until we’re below?”
“Perhaps. But you see, William, that would be only because such actions have no place on deck to begin with, not because they are in itself wrong. And if they are not wrong, then there ought to be no reason to not be indulging in said relations, wherever or whenever we wish.”
“But you know that isn’t possible.”
“Correct! Therefore, my reason for bringing you here. This ship is in itself its own world, and as Captain of said ship, that would make me in charge of this said world. And being the one in charge, I declare there to be nothing wrong with what you or I do with each other. Savvy?”
“Um, sure Jack. Though I am not exactly sure what you are trying to say.”
“Matelotage, mate. You, me. Forever.”
“Forever is a long time.”
“Exactly! And who better to spend forever with than you?”
****