Comments | mambo_chocobo: Thoughts on Rape Culture

mambo_chocobo

Thoughts on Rape Culture

Apr 01, 2010 22:17

When I was around ten or eleven, I was sexually harassed. I lived in an apartment complex at the time, and I was watching a younger girl as we wandered around the complex. They had a duck lake with a gazebo beside it, so the kids would love to play over by it, and that's where everyone usually was ( Read more... )

ponderings, general, talking to myself again, srs bsns, feminism, musings

Comments 10

jlewenda April 2 2010, 08:13:26 UTC

It was very brave of you to speak up like that. I know exactly what you mean about being objectified like that, being a victim of the rape culture as well.
It seems that women haven't progressed much since we took the leap into feminism; despite having a say in politics and a chance in the work force, we will always be objects to males. Even the media condones this sort of behaviour, using sex and women to sell products, and that is just disgusting.
As long as the media continues advertising sex so freely, women will always be seen as objects with no real purpose other than to be a walking vagina and to please any male that wants some. And it will only encourage males to act like that, and it will just make women unsure of their thoughts and their feelings, making them feel like everything is al their fault, that they did something wrong.
That's just my thoughts, anyways.

ai_chan77 April 2 2010, 11:53:36 UTC

I don't think of myself that way at all, then again I have a great guy who doesn't look to me for just sex..he also values my opinions and cares about me. People only treat you like that if you let them treat you like that. You can't change how men look/think to woman, but you can change how they look/think at you!

mambo_chocobo April 5 2010, 01:21:35 UTC

That's... really optimistic of you. And I wish it were that easy. But it's totally not.

I'm honestly not sure what I can say to this comment, because a lot of it is kind of offensive to me. I don't think telling people "they only treat you like an object to be fucked because you're LETTING them, never mind that you told them to please stop and that it's bothering you."

To a certain extent, your point is true. To an extent. But I don't really think it can be applicable to sexual harassment or sexual assault. It's kind of like you're saying the guy who harassed me only harassed me because I let him, never mind that I tried to walk away from him twice and he followed me. Maybe I should have said something then instead of just walking away; maybe I should have done something else instead of letting Mom handle it. The way you worded your point makes me think it was my fault for him treating me that way, because I let him treat me that way ( ... )

ai_chan77 April 5 2010, 01:34:17 UTC

I've been sexually harassed plently of times, and I've even been molested when I was younger. I know a lot of what I speak about, yet I choose not to dwell in it and I have come to terms with the situations I was placed in as a child.

When you are younger you have no control over those things. I was talking about my present self, how presently I don't let men treat me that way. That you can control as an adult.

mambo_chocobo April 5 2010, 01:52:55 UTC

That seems like a bit of an oversimplification to me. I don't know if you mean to, but the messages I keep getting from your comments is basically, "Well, if I can control how a man/woman perceives me, if I can control how they treat me, why can't anyone else ( ... )

postaxial April 2 2010, 12:50:10 UTC

Something similar happened to me when I was about ten, though I was with friends so I felt less victimized. I don't think he was going to do anything but it freaked us out nevertheless. I worried about it for a while afterwards but we're able to laugh about it now, he was just a weird boy with nothing better to do. With people like that, it's their problem, not yours. You'd have to be seriously messed up to terrorise/harrass little girls like that, so there's obviously something wrong with those boys, so it wasn't your fault at all.

100 years ago women had basically no rights at all, but now we can vote, work, etc, just the same as men. Of course there are still stereotypes and sexism, but things are far better than they were last century. Just think how much society might have advanced in another 100 years from now- perhaps 'rape culture' will be unheard of completely :)

mambo_chocobo April 5 2010, 01:36:16 UTC

I'm... sort of bothered by how you easily dismiss a few of the things in your comment. Like the boy, for example; sure, he may have just been a weird boy with nothing better to do, but what happens the next time he has nothing better to do? Does he just decide, hey, why not go bother those hot girls I see sitting over there? So I dunno, maybe I'm overreacting at that, but it bothers me ( ... )

postaxial April 5 2010, 12:08:07 UTC

I wasn't brushing off all sexual harrassment cases, just the minor one I experienced. It was creepy, but I got over it, and years later it doesn't seem like such a big deal. I'm not that concerned about it now because looking back on it, I know the boy wasn't actually going to do anything, he was just a weird individual. I hadn't really thought about what would happen 'next time'... maybe he did go and bother other girls later, I hadn't thought about it. I don't really know what to say about that- I just hope that if he ever did bother any other girls, they were able to set him straight, something we at 10 weren't able to do ( ... )

mambo_chocobo April 5 2010, 20:58:54 UTC

If you feel you aren't educated enough, may I suggest the site Shakesville? http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/ It's a great feminist blog that covers every topic from feminism, racism, ableism, basically any marginalized group, with more of a heavy focus on feminism. It's really opened up my eyes. There's not much I can say in reply to your comment that you won't find at Shakesville, so if you feel like it, go and read it. :) Thank you for your comments.

savannahjfoley April 3 2010, 21:19:02 UTC

I have been sexually harassed as well, and I do think that we live in a rape culture, but I would be very hesitant to say that we live in a male-on-female rape culture. Statistically, most domestic violence victims are men these days, and there is a huge stigma against men owning up to being sexually harassed or abused. I think it's awful how individuals feel that they can abuse or harass another individual, but this is what it's come to: individual vs. individual. I don't think we can generalize all abuse as man-on-woman anymore.