Adult?

[mamimakeup]

I am my fathers only child. I know that I am important to him. Actually, it's funny. It's one of those things that a selfish child mind doesn't really think about, the commitment of a parent. When I was 20 or so, my neighbor and I were having a conversation about our pasts (as we watched "Psycho" of all things) and in telling him my family history

Comments

[jonquil]

One big hammerblow was *spending money* for a garbage can. Money was to be spent for movies and meals out. Having to buy a garbage can pretty much summed up adult life for me.

The next big one was the week when my husband and I had flu *and we had a baby*. When you're the mother or father, you don't get to be sick; the kid has to be taken care of, period, end. It's a whole new world when instead of being the one getting pampered you're the one in charge of the pampering. Having a kid turned me from being the center of my own world to being one of the satellites.

[mamimakeup]

Number 1: Check! I spent $90 on a garbage can about 4 months ago, because that's pretty much the cheapes tone you can get in stainless steel if you don't want tupperware. And I was appropriately annoyed about it because $90 is totally a hot dress or something.

Number 2: Oh yeah. I think becoming a parent at any age forces that shift. It is no longer about mememe and you are no longer, as you say, the center of your own world. Well put. But, bleah, at you BOTH having the flu with the baby!

[going_not_gone]

When I was 20, I got my first apartment, with a roommate, and my first fulltime job. It was the summer after my sophomore year in college, and I would have done almost anything to avoid spending three months at home watching my parents' marriage fall apart. I convinced them that I could support myself, and they agreed. But that summer, for the first time, I was totally self reliant. As I recall it, my weekly takehome pay was $140, and I was living on the edge of poverty, but I was paying all my own bills, getting up and walking to work five days a week, being a grownup in charge of my own life.

When school started up again, they agreed to cover my rent (which was less than dorm fees) and tuition, so I could work part time. But everything else--food, clothing, books--was up to me to earn. I didn't have a credit card, so I lived in a cash-based economy and I ate a lot of ramen noodles. But I felt like an adult.

Getting married (age 27) and buying a house (32) were other biggies, but that tiny little apartment was the first.

[mamimakeup]

I'm having the sort of lightening bolts now that are almost like puppy love vs. real love. Like "I THOUGHT I was in love, but now I know I wasn't." When I moved out of my parents house, I felt like an adult at the time. And I've been self-sustaining like this for 7 years now. But I don't know... Recently I'm just having these reality checks of adulthood hit me. I've been living alone for 7 years and in all that time the only time I went to the dentist was to have my wisdom teeth pulled. And that's only cause they were killing me. It wasn't until today, actually taking charge and DOING it, that I realize I need to handle on that on a regular basis.

I think buying a home, and everything that goes into it, is going to be my next one.

[ex_fashioni]

I became an adult the day I handed over my life's savings to my mother so we wouldn't lose our house because my father had emptied their joint bank account and left us with all of $87.00.

I'd been saving that money since I was five years old, pennies, nickels, birthday checks-- everything, I saved because I wanted a vintage Mustang when I turned sixteen. And I gave my mother that nearly four thousand dollars so we'd continue to have a roof over our heads.

I was eleven. That was also the year I learned how to cook and shop and clip coupons and do all that stuff that grownups did.

Never got that Mustang, but my mother still owns that house. And I'm still an adult, but I'm regressing a little and enjoying some of what I missed out on-- not in a stupid Britney sort of way, but I'm a little more relaxed than a lot of people my age.

[mamimakeup]

Wow. I'd say you were an adult.

It's starting to sound like there's always one big moment that makes you realize you're an adult.

If I win the lottery I promise I'll buy you a Mustang.

[serenada]

I have no idea what my moment was. My parents moved away from me shortly before I graduated high school, so that was one check. Starting university not as much of a shock, and neither was leaving it.

I don't know. Am I an adult? I guess...I had enough saved up that I could go, what, five or six months jobless without pillaging my bank accounts. In the meanwhile my income was teaching martial arts, a silly website or five, and UI. I don't feel grown up. But my bills are paid, even mostly on time. My checkups are done, my nine year vacation from dentistry paid for in full...

But it's still only me. I feel kinda goofy and kinda weird and I'm taking a black belt test where my partner is 22 and I pretend to kill people for fun and profit.

Maybe when I get a sofa. Then I'll be grownup.

[mamimakeup]

I think taking care of your finances is a major "adult" move. Being able to go 5 or 6 months without a job is pretty damn responsible.

Who knows if we're adults? My dad says he still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. He'll be 60 in May.

By the way, the sofa thing goes hand in hand with the garbage can thing in my mind. They are expensive as hell. I got mine as a gift thankfully, cause I can guarantee I still wouldn't have one otherwise.

[sfmarty]

I have been around for a long time. I was grown up when I had to take care of my child.

I think being an adult is taking responsibility for oneself. You are doing that.

There are times when I behave in a "childlike" manner, but I am grownup enough to enjoy it. (g)

[mamimakeup]

"I think being an adult is taking responsibility for oneself. You are doing that. "

I think you're right. I've been doing the basics for a long time now. Rent, bills, food, etc. But those little things you didn't think about when you were younger (regular checkups, taking care of someone else) are those little extra wake-up calls. You have to take 100% responsibility for your own existence.