I think it's a tad ridiculous that you can get on the computer when I am sitting right behind you and say what's on your mind. I understand you don't want to talk to me right now, I absolutely anticipated that. And I know I should have told you in the car. I have let things cloud my judgement lately and unfortunately there have been others including yourself that have been caught in the middle and hurt. I took a walk by myself last night not just to get out of the house but do go and clear my head and do some thinking. I sat at Syring for a good 1/2 an hour crying and praying that you could forgive me for what I did to you. You are the most important person in the world to me Manda. Why do you think I was so afraid to tell you and couldn't bring myself to come clean when you asked me Friday? I value your opinion of me over anyone else. Not only did I regret what I did, but I was embarassed. I felt like an absolute idiot and I knew I had risked losing your respect. It's not justification, but I have a lot of stuff going on inside right
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