(no subject)
hey all, just back from a christmas service which was lovely but made me wanna cry?! not sure what that's all about but i had some sobbing before i left anyway so i figure maybe im just emotional...?
wore a skirt tonight, with dark colours and tights of course but it was weird!!! spoke to my good friend tonight about the boy, been feeling like its stuck and not going anywhere, im the girlfriend now but then...nothing, even less than before i was and i know that maybe he doesnt get me, doesnt realise that my presumption is that people dont like me, as in everyone so thinking that they just might takes some extra effort and to think that he really likes me takes a huge but not cheesy or fake seeming gesture...difficult much?!!! was considering calling the whole thing off but 1)its nearly christmas and he apparently already bought my gifts*shit-dont have his,no idea what to get?!* and 2)i see him about4days a week at work so i couldnt stand it to be awkward...im well and truly stuck :(
ahh, and of course none of that is ed related(so cant tell him EVER), my bad chicas-to the important stuff...(irony?!)
did well the last few days, ate a few more dates than i should've yesterday but they've got a specific quality so it should be ok... yuck!today, was feeling really non-hungered and got to 7pm with only1/2 grapefruit and mini corn on cob...was so faint during service, especially when singing but i *love* the dizziness and am worried about Dad's arrival Thurs(he dislikes fat people, dont ask!)so i'm gonna harness the feeling and fact that im strictly speaking finished with college for 2004 and so dont require as much energy=food=fasting til thurs
gonna need major support tho come day2and3but thats why we have each other! good luck to myself and of course y'all, my shining stars in this darkness...it only takes one light to show you the way...
*hope doesnt come from outside, its something internal, deep and in the mind....the voice that is not concerned with the present but lies in tomorrow, in the future and all of its potential beauty*
wore a skirt tonight, with dark colours and tights of course but it was weird!!! spoke to my good friend tonight about the boy, been feeling like its stuck and not going anywhere, im the girlfriend now but then...nothing, even less than before i was and i know that maybe he doesnt get me, doesnt realise that my presumption is that people dont like me, as in everyone so thinking that they just might takes some extra effort and to think that he really likes me takes a huge but not cheesy or fake seeming gesture...difficult much?!!! was considering calling the whole thing off but 1)its nearly christmas and he apparently already bought my gifts*shit-dont have his,no idea what to get?!* and 2)i see him about4days a week at work so i couldnt stand it to be awkward...im well and truly stuck :(
ahh, and of course none of that is ed related(so cant tell him EVER), my bad chicas-to the important stuff...(irony?!)
did well the last few days, ate a few more dates than i should've yesterday but they've got a specific quality so it should be ok... yuck!today, was feeling really non-hungered and got to 7pm with only1/2 grapefruit and mini corn on cob...was so faint during service, especially when singing but i *love* the dizziness and am worried about Dad's arrival Thurs(he dislikes fat people, dont ask!)so i'm gonna harness the feeling and fact that im strictly speaking finished with college for 2004 and so dont require as much energy=food=fasting til thurs
gonna need major support tho come day2and3but thats why we have each other! good luck to myself and of course y'all, my shining stars in this darkness...it only takes one light to show you the way...
*hope doesnt come from outside, its something internal, deep and in the mind....the voice that is not concerned with the present but lies in tomorrow, in the future and all of its potential beauty*