And away I go. Once more into the cold. With a heavy heart and a swimming head. I think I will be back second week of January so I can see momma. I miss her very much. My biggest supporter. Dad's health is a roller coaster and she needs my help with him. I only hope it doesn't decline to the point that I need to come back immediately. For his sake.

I want to hate you. I want to hate you so fucking much. But i cant. Its impossible i've determined. Its impossible because i love you so fucking much. I fucking love you so much it makes everything hurt. Every day is a goddamn fucking living hell that i conjured. I dont know what im doing anymore. Sometimes, i want to kill myself. I ruined the best ( Read more... )

So it seems: forever meant nothing to you

I don't eat. I don't sleep. I do nothing but think of you.

Panic attack that lasted two days finally went away. I think.

Am I breathing?
My strength fails me

Drowning once again, will I live another day?
To reach the surface, let this burden drift away.

Somebody shake me cause I must be sleeping

I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I now have discovered the existence of a third brewery within walking distance of my job. And with it being close to Arapahoe, which is the route the JUMP takes, I can ride the bus home in worst case scenarios because the last eastbound JUMP is after 10pm. I officially love this place.