(no subject)
This is kind of freelance thinking.
It feels completely weird having finished uni. It doesn't even feel like I've finished. That can't be it, right? Heh. Maybe it will feel more real after I find out my grades and actually go to graduation.
Life is a bit bland at the moment. Now that I'm working tomorrow my Sunday went really quickly. I'm thinking too much about when I should go to bed/how much sleep I should get. I only woke up at 11 and it's 10:15 now so I haven't been awake long enough to sleep. It's amazing how I barely made 8:30 lectures yet I can make it to work with a few minutes to spare.
Which reminds me, yesterday someone left the staff door open when they came in. It was about 7:56 and we were setting up. A customer walks in. I tell him we're not open yet and he says "oh really, when are you open then?" and I said "in a couple of minutes" and he goes "a couple of minutes?" and walked out never to be seen again. I would have served him but 1) I probably would have gotten busted for it as it's outside of trading hours (even though only by a few minutes) and 2) what about all the other customers waiting outside for the doors to open. Just because he sneaks in through the staff doors doesn't mean he has priority to be served.
One thing I realise is that you never know what a customer has been through on that particular day. They could have been through hell and had some really bad things happen to them which makes them behave not so nicely. On the other hand they could just be pricks for no reason. Either way I found it's important to be neutral. Lately I've been really lucky and have had mostly good customers (some are hugely emphathetic if they're standing in line behind someone that was just a dick to me). Some of my co-workers on the other hand haven't been so lucky at all, and I see the crap that happens to them and remember when similar things happened to me. Sometimes I'm glad because things happen to them that have never happened to me but give me insight into potential situations. I've found myself looking out for my co-workers at times because I don't want them to have to experience certain situations and to feel bad. And I've realised that I'm really not alone.
Things are changing for me. I'm not about to escape the monotony and enter a phase of "enlightenment" where everything is different and I'm suddenly free. I'm already there. This is freedom and this is where I choose the path that I want to go and where I do the things that I want to do, when I want to do them and how I want to do them. And the only reason I will be someone's slave is by choice and with the realisation that it's an important stage that I have to go through. There is ultimately no finishing point that I will get to, because life is continuous and will keep on moving forward until I die. And is that even the end? Who knows.
All I know is that I feel better than I have been feeling. I haven't had hardly anything to drink these past couple of weeks, and it's been one of the first time where I've thought that I don't want to drink and actually haven't. I had a beer last night, yes one beer and I noticed that after that 1 drink my thoughts about everything changed. Yes I was under the influence after one drink, and I realise there absolutely is an influence. I start to believe things with a certain conviction when I've had alcohol. It's a completely different story when I'm sober. I still don't know which one to trust more.
Some songs on my playlist have been ruined, because they are connected to certain people/events and I can't handle listening to them. Some good songs too that just hurt to listen to.
I'm trying to figure out certain things about myself and about my friends. I think we're growing apart. Hanging out with them just doesn't feel like it used to, the fun has gone. Hanging out with new people lately feels a lot better, a lot more comfortable even though these are people I haven't known for the same length of time. Some of them we're just on exactly the same wavelength about some things and it's great. Some of the old group I feel just don't respect me for who I am and it's hard to offer them any kind of friendship or respect because of this. They're probably thinking I'm being a bitch or "what's her problem" but I just don't care. That's the kind of thinking that not all that attractive to me in regards to the way that people see me/think about me.
That's all for now I hope nobody just wasted their time reading this.
It feels completely weird having finished uni. It doesn't even feel like I've finished. That can't be it, right? Heh. Maybe it will feel more real after I find out my grades and actually go to graduation.
Life is a bit bland at the moment. Now that I'm working tomorrow my Sunday went really quickly. I'm thinking too much about when I should go to bed/how much sleep I should get. I only woke up at 11 and it's 10:15 now so I haven't been awake long enough to sleep. It's amazing how I barely made 8:30 lectures yet I can make it to work with a few minutes to spare.
Which reminds me, yesterday someone left the staff door open when they came in. It was about 7:56 and we were setting up. A customer walks in. I tell him we're not open yet and he says "oh really, when are you open then?" and I said "in a couple of minutes" and he goes "a couple of minutes?" and walked out never to be seen again. I would have served him but 1) I probably would have gotten busted for it as it's outside of trading hours (even though only by a few minutes) and 2) what about all the other customers waiting outside for the doors to open. Just because he sneaks in through the staff doors doesn't mean he has priority to be served.
One thing I realise is that you never know what a customer has been through on that particular day. They could have been through hell and had some really bad things happen to them which makes them behave not so nicely. On the other hand they could just be pricks for no reason. Either way I found it's important to be neutral. Lately I've been really lucky and have had mostly good customers (some are hugely emphathetic if they're standing in line behind someone that was just a dick to me). Some of my co-workers on the other hand haven't been so lucky at all, and I see the crap that happens to them and remember when similar things happened to me. Sometimes I'm glad because things happen to them that have never happened to me but give me insight into potential situations. I've found myself looking out for my co-workers at times because I don't want them to have to experience certain situations and to feel bad. And I've realised that I'm really not alone.
Things are changing for me. I'm not about to escape the monotony and enter a phase of "enlightenment" where everything is different and I'm suddenly free. I'm already there. This is freedom and this is where I choose the path that I want to go and where I do the things that I want to do, when I want to do them and how I want to do them. And the only reason I will be someone's slave is by choice and with the realisation that it's an important stage that I have to go through. There is ultimately no finishing point that I will get to, because life is continuous and will keep on moving forward until I die. And is that even the end? Who knows.
All I know is that I feel better than I have been feeling. I haven't had hardly anything to drink these past couple of weeks, and it's been one of the first time where I've thought that I don't want to drink and actually haven't. I had a beer last night, yes one beer and I noticed that after that 1 drink my thoughts about everything changed. Yes I was under the influence after one drink, and I realise there absolutely is an influence. I start to believe things with a certain conviction when I've had alcohol. It's a completely different story when I'm sober. I still don't know which one to trust more.
Some songs on my playlist have been ruined, because they are connected to certain people/events and I can't handle listening to them. Some good songs too that just hurt to listen to.
I'm trying to figure out certain things about myself and about my friends. I think we're growing apart. Hanging out with them just doesn't feel like it used to, the fun has gone. Hanging out with new people lately feels a lot better, a lot more comfortable even though these are people I haven't known for the same length of time. Some of them we're just on exactly the same wavelength about some things and it's great. Some of the old group I feel just don't respect me for who I am and it's hard to offer them any kind of friendship or respect because of this. They're probably thinking I'm being a bitch or "what's her problem" but I just don't care. That's the kind of thinking that not all that attractive to me in regards to the way that people see me/think about me.
That's all for now I hope nobody just wasted their time reading this.