Dude Colin has a girlfriend. Ok, so I know that's not supposed to bug me. But he plays this game where he says things like "Amanda, you're the only one I'll ever really love, and I can't imagine myself without you in the future". So, even though I know that things between us will never really work out again, I can't ever get over it cuz he keeps ( Read more... )

Ok, so ever since my run-in(s) with the legal system, I've felt really dis-enamored of the way it works. For instance, about 80% of the women I was in jail with were in for something related to drugs/alcohol. They either had got caught with drugs, got caught selling drugs, got an OWI, etc. And when you talked to them, almost all of them admitted ( Read more... )

Even Colin is being an ass. I guess I really don't have anyone. I don't understand, I stood by him through so much. And now he can just decide I'm not important in his life anymore, even though I'm going to be a part of it until a)I die b)Shiloh dies or c)Colin dies. None of those things look likely. Although if it's possible to die of multiple ( Read more... )

So, the last couple of months have really opened my eyes. Mostly, I've learned that most of the people I've counted as my close friends are... well, not. It really hurts me to realize that, but I guess I've known that subconsciously anyway ( Read more... )

So, today at preschool Shiloh's friend Dominic told him they weren't best buddies anymore. And that he didn't want Shiloh to sit by him. And Shiloh told me that he didn't play with anyone today, he only did puzzles by himself because nobody is his friend ( Read more... )

dude. I got drunk this weekend and had sex with joe walker. WTF???
I barely even remember it. I have no idea why I was hanging out with him, I don't know how I got to his house, and I only have slight memories of the actual deed.
This means I need to stop drinking to such excess.

I just got fired from my job this afternoon. Except... it was totally more like I was being dumped ( Read more... )

So. I may or may not be hanging out with Colin again. You should probably pick 'may'. And, we talked about intentions, and how we wanted to take things really slow and see whats changed since last time and how we've grown up... which sounds great, right ( Read more... )

So, I'm trying this whole Christianity thing. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. But ( Read more... )

My mom's husband has decided that he's done with Chemo. I understand why he made the decision, I get that he wants to spend whatever time he has left with his family doing normal things, and not being miserable and sick all the time. But I'm so horribly sad. And I'm terrified for my mom, I know that when he goes then she's going to go off the deep ( Read more... )