Today I sat in a park for an entire afternoon. Watching children run around each other, watching dogs splashing around in the fountain ( Read more... )

I understand now, I was relying on you for happiness.

I cant make myself happy, how could I ask you to let me make you happy again?

we just go about our days, seemingly okay. we're functional, we do what we're supposed to do, say what we're supposed to say, smile when we're expected to. but every so often, I crack, I'm sorry. this facade, its too difficult to upkeep. last night, I went by your locker, and I just sat there for a good fifteen minutes. I took out your cologne and ( Read more... )

these are hot angry tears that you brush off 
tears that you pretend not to see
sobs that you don't hear

Just last month we were having ice cream and my favourite bak kut teh. I remember we drove all the way down to see you because you didn’t feel well enough to make the trip out like you did yearly. You looked good.

Last weekend, I did you wrong. I was at outram, instead of visiting, I went for desert, and then it was too late, visiting hours were ( Read more... )

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things ( Read more... )

Why do I only blog about things that make me upset? Is it because I have no other outlets for it? How about things that happen on a daily recurring basis, or things that make me happy? Why don't I blog about those? It would definitely make stalking me a whole lot easier, eg ahem and another ahem ( Read more... )

this is getting ridiculous, its 3days to results and yet the nightmares that haunt me are images of you and him.

what exactly is your hold over me, i just do not understand.

I can feel it. Deep within, bubbling and bubbling, threatening to break through the surface at every moment, exposing the ugliness within.

Something's really really wrong.

Just go find some balls and spill already.

omfg, i'm turning into her.