Comments | mangobiscuit: PCA...Chapter 5...

mangobiscuit

PCA...Chapter 5...

Dec 02, 2004 09:45

Title: Power Corrupts - Absolutely... Chapter 5 Cruel and Unusual
Pairing: Arthur/Draco
Author: mangobiscuit
Rating: NC17
Summary: In war there are no winners. Everybody loses, victors and vanquished, both. Power is intoxicating and even for the sanest of men it can be hard to resist the pull of corruption.
Warnings: Violence, non-con, BDSM, blood-play, ( Read more... )

Comments 3

greensery December 2 2004, 10:42:02 UTC

The writing is still fluent and I like Mad!Weasley. But here's the more critical freeback since I think it will be more helpful to you:

Oh no... why did he must turn into Harry? I just don't fancy H/D, though that doesn't much matter in this fic.
These {Harry} marks disturbed me. You could have just said "Weasley" since we know who he was. Arthur's thought about being Harry were perfection.

Just realised that this must be AU since Lucius has been & is free and walking.(for now) Also another thing bothers me: why doesn't Weasley use veritaserum for Draco if he needs to find Ron as quickly as possible? It would have been more believable if he'd told Snape to make the serum which would require time. While waiting he would have done the less important: torture Malfoy as he is doing now.(even though I very hard try to believe that breaking Malfoy his way really is that important to him & he's been "provoked too far") Which reminds me that he should heal Draco at some point, because with that serious injury he could die.

More than he'd ( ... )

mangobiscuit December 3 2004, 05:11:24 UTC

Oh no... why did he must turn into Harry?

Well, Draco hates Harry. This is NOT a H/D fic, however there will be elements of that.

These {Harry} marks disturbed me. You could have just said "Weasley" since we know who he was. Arthur's thought about being Harry were perfection.

Those marks were done so that I could make sure that I was staying in character the whole time, and so it really enforced the Arthur/Harry distinction for later on in the fic for the reader. I'm sorry you found that disturbing though. Glad however you liked Arthur's thoughts on being Harry. :))

why doesn't Weasley use veritaserum for Draco if he needs to find Ron as quickly as possible? It would have been more believable if he'd told Snape to make the serumYes, he could have, but as you rightly pointed out, this is definitely AU, but possibly I should have expanded on his reasoning a little better earlier. Arthur is already corrupted by the power, and was right from the start. Any decisions he makes are not always going to be entirely logical. Add the grief ( ... )

greensery December 3 2004, 05:17:12 UTC

Yes, you answered the points well. I hope there was something helpful about them. I'll definitely stay with this fic. *hungry for the psychological things*

Don't read anything into that - it's really just hate.
Hate indeed, but the fact that is interesting is that Draco doesn't hate Arthur as much, though he was the one to capture him. Ok, trying not to read anything to this. ;)