Earth human Christmas list!
John Egbert: A (suprisingly classy) fedora and a (far less classy) bubble pipe. And eight hand-written coupons that are apparently "redeema8le for one (1) sloppy interspecies makeout session, as long as those makeouts are with the a8solute hottest of all spacehotties that's me."
AU John: A copy of every Nic Cage movie Vriska has ever managed to find on the station. It's a surprisingly large selection!
Davesprite: A really tacky (AND IRONIC) friendship bracelet. Vriska has been researching this shit, and apparently this is what Earth human "bee eff effs" give each other. SWEET. Also a wearable panic button that screams "HELP ME, I AM BEING ROBONAPPED" at an earsplitting volume when activated.
(Red) Dave: A vastly scaled-down reproduction of her Catenative Doomsday Dice Cascader, rigged to go off and explode when he opens the box (luckily, it's a useless goddamn piece of shit and it probably won't work. Probably. YOUR CALL, KARI~) Happy murdermas!
(Pantsless Pink) Dave: A sloppily handmade one-piece romper-suit-esque outfit made entirely of pants. It's a thing of beauty, dude. Treasure it.
Bro: She got a box of spidersmuppets from him last year, so this year Bro is getting a box of live spiders. They're probably not that poisonous!
Karkat: A copy of The Iron Giant. Prepare to get very, very confused about all those robofeelings.
OU!Sollux: Metal polish. Assuming he still has his metal bits post-fake-god-tier-ification? 8Ia
Kanaya: Oh god I'm sorry. Kanaya, Vriska has noted a distinct lack of jeans in your wardrobe. So she has got you an authentically grubby-looking distressed pair, plus a couple of green Vriska-esque overshirts to wear with them. SHE TRIED, OKAY?
OU!Terezi: A picture of Vriska hatesnogging Red Dave. It's framed. 8D
Fac!Terezi: A rather lovely set of knives, labelled "INSERT POINTY END INTO NEAREST BACK". Also maybe an antagonistic fanfic. Teehee~
Equius: A crossbow! It's likely too fragile to be STRONGfired, but the enclosed card suggests that "once you stop sweating like a creeper over it, you could totally use this as a templ8 to make a more dura8le version or whatever."
Gamzee (original flavour): A giant pie tin (we're talking like a metre in diameter here), shoddily wrapped in RAINBOW HOLORAPHIC WRAPPING PAPER HOLY FUCK.
Eridan: A fake beard and fakey-fake fairy wand. Essential for any aspiring wizard/fairy. Or for anyone who's DEAD LOL, HOW CAN YOU GROW FACIAL HAIR FOR REAL WHEN YOU'RE DEAD HEY ERIDUMB YOU'RE TOTALLY DEAD.
Shockwave: A live spider that Vriska has been trying to turn purple with the liberal application of SCIENCE! (Meaning she's been feeding it purple food colouring for a month. It's still not purple. It's the thought that counts, right?) She also included all her notes on this 'experiment', which are mostly comprised of drawings of spiders labelled "still not fucking purple WHAT IS ITS DEAL????????"
Jun: A hand-written guide to the "Secrets of Alternian Cookery". Includes Vriska's own grubloaf recipe, often praised (by Vriska) for its tangy deliciousness.
Convoy: FUZZY DICE. Vriska-style, so it's a set of eight plush D8s. So classy.
Azula: A fullsize version of the coat she snagged for Kid!Azula during the age swap event. It might be a little too big because gdit Vriska was not going to ask your measurements okay 8888I
Camille: A novelty teapot shaped like a cake, because HURR DURR CAMILLE IS THE TEA AND CAKE LADY.
Tachikoma/Conan: A bumper sticker with "I 8r8k for spiders ::::D" printed on it.
Nathan Young: A lightly-used copy of "Season of the Witch", starring Nic Cage and a guy who looks remarkably like Nathan! There's a note enclosed saying that if the actor is Nathan using a fakey-fake name, Vriska will pay handsomely for any information or memorabilia re: Mister Cage. Exploit away, twatface. Exploit away.
Goggles: A grenade! SAFETY MEASURES? WHAT SAFETY MEASURES????????
STILL (possibly) INCOMPLETE HERP DERP