American Idol: Top 12 Boys
Clint Jun Gamboa, “Superstition” - The fact that Junebug has chosen this song says a lot to me. It tells me that either he hasn’t seen American Idol before (unlikely) or he doesn’t want to do anything really different. He chose “Superstition” for his first live song, the one that will establish who he is on this show? No. The performance itself is extremely amateur and karaoke (fitting, since he does karaoke for a living) and does nothing to show off his voice which, horrible personality aside, is actually quite impressive.
Jovany Barreto, “I’ll Be” - Okay, looks like everyone is choosing extremely lame songs tonight. The arrangement of this is extra slow and cheesy and it does the already cheesy Jovany no favors. Definitely think he’s in danger of going home, although I think with the new rules, a guy doesn’t have to go home. If there are four girls that are really terrible, they might send home only girls. But judging by how bad the guys were tonight, I think we’ll definitely be saying goodbye to some guys. Start packing, Jovany.
Jordan Dorsey, “OMG” - I guess we have to give him props for picking a song that is currently on the radio, but first of all, the song sucks, and second of all, Jordan is no Usher. It’s really embarrassing watching him try to be all slick when he clearly doesn’t believe it himself. And he doesn’t have the moves. The song is also a really poor vocal showcase. I give him credit for trying to fill the space, but there’s no spark in his eyes. He’s not special. I also hate how when Ryan interviewed him about his shitty performance, he said “I’m not a jumpy kind of person.” THEN WHY DID YOU SING THIS SONG, ASSCLOWN?
Tim Halperin, “Streetcorner Symphony” - Tim is an early frontrunner which makes this performance even more embarrassing. He keeps trying in vain to stay in time with the music (all of the arrangements seemed really slow to me) and the stage just swallows him up. He seems so nervous, like he’s just trying to get through it with a smile on his face. It’s surprising given how strong he was during Hollywood Week. I actually felt his nerves because I think that’s how I would perform on a live stage in front of all those people. I’d just totally lose my cool and try not to pass out. Looks like Tim has a lot of work to do, but I think he’ll get through on good will.
Brett Loewenstern, “Light My Fire” - Brett seems a lot more comfortable on stage than the four guys before him, but this performance is still weak and kind of boring considering the song choice. I do think that you can sense something special-maybe even sexy?-about Brett, deep down. I think he has to find and cultivate that. Sorry to sound all Paula Abdul, but I feel like Brett really needs to realize his potential. I feel like he’s probably done half the work before the show, which is why it’s okay for him to be here so young. I’m looking forward to seeing him improve every week. He also strikes me as one of the few contestants who is really unique, as opposed to being a variation on a theme we’ve seen before. Brett also gets bonus points for walking away from Seacrest when he was supposed to stay next to him (why do people always do this? Don’t they rehearse?) and then running into his arms when Ryan called him back. I bet he did that on purpose just so he’d have an excuse to hug Ryan. I love Brett.
James Durbin, “You Got Another Thing Comin’” - I had never heard this song before (it’s by Judas Priest), but I really didn’t like it. However, I still like James and think he has one of the strongest voices in the competition. I am kind of surprised how many people dislike him for not being Adam Lambert. I guess you would expect me to feel the same way, but I think James is really talented and his scream is controlled, like Adam’s is. Stylistically, I prefer Adam, but I still like James a lot. He is also the first performer we saw last night who was not totally swallowed by the stage. He has presence.
Robbie Rosen, “Angel” - I really like Robbie, but this song is SO mawkish. He tries to make it sound different by singing a bunch of riffs, but I don’t think he sticks to the melody enough and it’s STILL totally boring. But Robbie has a very pretty voice and is generally good at ballads, so I hope he chooses better ones in the future. Also he should sing upbeat stuff too or he risks turning into David Archuleta.
Scott McCreery, “Letters from Home” - I found this song really boring, but while watching this, I felt pretty certain that Scotty was going to become a huge star and make buckets and buckets of money. I thought he was a one-trick pony before and I thought his youth and inexperience would get to him, but he performed surprisingly well on the big stage. I think the country world will eat this shit up. I felt like I was watching a performance on the CMAs. Might not be my cup of tea, but certainly marketable.
Stefano Langone, “Just the Way You Are” - We have all heard this song too many times, but I think this performance was shockingly strong. There’s an epic feel to it because of the arrangement and his voice sounds good. Not as good as Bruno Mars, but still good. I don’t think there is anything special about Stefano, but this was definitely one of the cannier performances of the night.
Paul McDonald, “Maggie May” - Off the bat I have to deduct points for Paul repeating a song this early. I think he sang this during Hollywood Week or his audition. Can’t remember now, but I know I’ve heard him sing it before. It was good the first time, but now I feel like he just wants everyone to know that he sounds like Rod Stewart. And thing is, Paul, no matter what you sing, it’s going to sound like Rod Stewart. You don’t have to sing a Rod Stewart song for us to know that. I also think Paul’s voice sounds a little worse for the wear and I worry that it won’t be strong enough for him to last on the show. I also could not understand half of the lyrics he was singing. On the positive side, I dig the casual way Paul works the stage (although at one point I thought he was going to fall) and even though I hate Rod Stewart, I really like Paul. But I think I like Paul more for his rhinestone cowboy fashion sense and pocket-sized Bradley Cooper hotness than his voice. I mean, that SMILE. So white, so perfect, so beautifully set off by the tan and the beard. I would very much like to have sex with him.
Jacob Lusk, “A House Is Not A Home” - Generally I do not like this guy and I think he sings like he is being stabbed repeatedly in the abdomen, but this was a beautiful, surprisingly controlled performance. Nicely done.
Casey Abrams, “I Put A Spell on You” - I feel like there is something about Casey like maybe he is not being entirely serious with us. His funny personality seems to come through in his performances and I’m not sure yet whether that’s a liability or an asset. I think he’s using it as an asset now. Because the idea of a guy who looks like this singing a song like this IS inherently funny. It kind of reminds me of how when SNL cast members would whip out these perfect impressions of singers. And you’d think “oh, they’re comedians; impersonations are what they do,” but then you’d realize that this means they can also sing really well. There was one point at the end of this performance when Casey’s voice sounded a little too ragged, but otherwise I think he sold the song really well. MJ compared him to Taylor Hicks, but I think he’s more like an improved version of Chris Sligh. When do they get the make-overs? Because he and Tim really need to lose the facial hair.
Rank:
1. Jacob Lusk
2. Casey Abrams
3. James Durbin
4. Paul McDonald
5. Scotty McCreery
6. Stefano Langone
7. Brett Loewenstern
8. Robbie Rosen
9. Clint Jun Gamboa
10. Tim Halperin
11. Jordan Dorsey
12. Jovany Barreto
The judges are so boring. They’re incapable of any really constructive criticism. All they ever say is “That wasn’t the right song for you,” or “That song didn’t show us who you are as an artist.” Randy has been forced to be the stern one and I hate when Randy criticizes people because he puts that annoying wishy-washy “I-don’t-know” face on. Simon would just come out and say it sucked. I think that’s less painful for all parties. Really missing Simon now. I wonder if Ryan misses him too. I can’t believe he cursed at the top of the show!
Jovany Barreto, “I’ll Be” - Okay, looks like everyone is choosing extremely lame songs tonight. The arrangement of this is extra slow and cheesy and it does the already cheesy Jovany no favors. Definitely think he’s in danger of going home, although I think with the new rules, a guy doesn’t have to go home. If there are four girls that are really terrible, they might send home only girls. But judging by how bad the guys were tonight, I think we’ll definitely be saying goodbye to some guys. Start packing, Jovany.
Jordan Dorsey, “OMG” - I guess we have to give him props for picking a song that is currently on the radio, but first of all, the song sucks, and second of all, Jordan is no Usher. It’s really embarrassing watching him try to be all slick when he clearly doesn’t believe it himself. And he doesn’t have the moves. The song is also a really poor vocal showcase. I give him credit for trying to fill the space, but there’s no spark in his eyes. He’s not special. I also hate how when Ryan interviewed him about his shitty performance, he said “I’m not a jumpy kind of person.” THEN WHY DID YOU SING THIS SONG, ASSCLOWN?
Tim Halperin, “Streetcorner Symphony” - Tim is an early frontrunner which makes this performance even more embarrassing. He keeps trying in vain to stay in time with the music (all of the arrangements seemed really slow to me) and the stage just swallows him up. He seems so nervous, like he’s just trying to get through it with a smile on his face. It’s surprising given how strong he was during Hollywood Week. I actually felt his nerves because I think that’s how I would perform on a live stage in front of all those people. I’d just totally lose my cool and try not to pass out. Looks like Tim has a lot of work to do, but I think he’ll get through on good will.
Brett Loewenstern, “Light My Fire” - Brett seems a lot more comfortable on stage than the four guys before him, but this performance is still weak and kind of boring considering the song choice. I do think that you can sense something special-maybe even sexy?-about Brett, deep down. I think he has to find and cultivate that. Sorry to sound all Paula Abdul, but I feel like Brett really needs to realize his potential. I feel like he’s probably done half the work before the show, which is why it’s okay for him to be here so young. I’m looking forward to seeing him improve every week. He also strikes me as one of the few contestants who is really unique, as opposed to being a variation on a theme we’ve seen before. Brett also gets bonus points for walking away from Seacrest when he was supposed to stay next to him (why do people always do this? Don’t they rehearse?) and then running into his arms when Ryan called him back. I bet he did that on purpose just so he’d have an excuse to hug Ryan. I love Brett.
James Durbin, “You Got Another Thing Comin’” - I had never heard this song before (it’s by Judas Priest), but I really didn’t like it. However, I still like James and think he has one of the strongest voices in the competition. I am kind of surprised how many people dislike him for not being Adam Lambert. I guess you would expect me to feel the same way, but I think James is really talented and his scream is controlled, like Adam’s is. Stylistically, I prefer Adam, but I still like James a lot. He is also the first performer we saw last night who was not totally swallowed by the stage. He has presence.
Robbie Rosen, “Angel” - I really like Robbie, but this song is SO mawkish. He tries to make it sound different by singing a bunch of riffs, but I don’t think he sticks to the melody enough and it’s STILL totally boring. But Robbie has a very pretty voice and is generally good at ballads, so I hope he chooses better ones in the future. Also he should sing upbeat stuff too or he risks turning into David Archuleta.
Scott McCreery, “Letters from Home” - I found this song really boring, but while watching this, I felt pretty certain that Scotty was going to become a huge star and make buckets and buckets of money. I thought he was a one-trick pony before and I thought his youth and inexperience would get to him, but he performed surprisingly well on the big stage. I think the country world will eat this shit up. I felt like I was watching a performance on the CMAs. Might not be my cup of tea, but certainly marketable.
Stefano Langone, “Just the Way You Are” - We have all heard this song too many times, but I think this performance was shockingly strong. There’s an epic feel to it because of the arrangement and his voice sounds good. Not as good as Bruno Mars, but still good. I don’t think there is anything special about Stefano, but this was definitely one of the cannier performances of the night.
Paul McDonald, “Maggie May” - Off the bat I have to deduct points for Paul repeating a song this early. I think he sang this during Hollywood Week or his audition. Can’t remember now, but I know I’ve heard him sing it before. It was good the first time, but now I feel like he just wants everyone to know that he sounds like Rod Stewart. And thing is, Paul, no matter what you sing, it’s going to sound like Rod Stewart. You don’t have to sing a Rod Stewart song for us to know that. I also think Paul’s voice sounds a little worse for the wear and I worry that it won’t be strong enough for him to last on the show. I also could not understand half of the lyrics he was singing. On the positive side, I dig the casual way Paul works the stage (although at one point I thought he was going to fall) and even though I hate Rod Stewart, I really like Paul. But I think I like Paul more for his rhinestone cowboy fashion sense and pocket-sized Bradley Cooper hotness than his voice. I mean, that SMILE. So white, so perfect, so beautifully set off by the tan and the beard. I would very much like to have sex with him.
Jacob Lusk, “A House Is Not A Home” - Generally I do not like this guy and I think he sings like he is being stabbed repeatedly in the abdomen, but this was a beautiful, surprisingly controlled performance. Nicely done.
Casey Abrams, “I Put A Spell on You” - I feel like there is something about Casey like maybe he is not being entirely serious with us. His funny personality seems to come through in his performances and I’m not sure yet whether that’s a liability or an asset. I think he’s using it as an asset now. Because the idea of a guy who looks like this singing a song like this IS inherently funny. It kind of reminds me of how when SNL cast members would whip out these perfect impressions of singers. And you’d think “oh, they’re comedians; impersonations are what they do,” but then you’d realize that this means they can also sing really well. There was one point at the end of this performance when Casey’s voice sounded a little too ragged, but otherwise I think he sold the song really well. MJ compared him to Taylor Hicks, but I think he’s more like an improved version of Chris Sligh. When do they get the make-overs? Because he and Tim really need to lose the facial hair.
Rank:
1. Jacob Lusk
2. Casey Abrams
3. James Durbin
4. Paul McDonald
5. Scotty McCreery
6. Stefano Langone
7. Brett Loewenstern
8. Robbie Rosen
9. Clint Jun Gamboa
10. Tim Halperin
11. Jordan Dorsey
12. Jovany Barreto
The judges are so boring. They’re incapable of any really constructive criticism. All they ever say is “That wasn’t the right song for you,” or “That song didn’t show us who you are as an artist.” Randy has been forced to be the stern one and I hate when Randy criticizes people because he puts that annoying wishy-washy “I-don’t-know” face on. Simon would just come out and say it sucked. I think that’s less painful for all parties. Really missing Simon now. I wonder if Ryan misses him too. I can’t believe he cursed at the top of the show!