[FIC] THE COUNTDOWN
Title: The Countdown
Pairing: YunJae
Beta: kot_kendra
Word Count: 1,050
Length: Oneshot
Genre: U;Angst (lots of it); mentions of Tragedy (if you interpret it as such)
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Sometimes, it is better not to know how things will end. Jaejoong knows this all too well.
NOTE: My first YunJae that I have posted, and technically, the first one I have ever written as well :3 Very angst but still hope it won't chase too many people away from reading it *fingers crossed*
Enjoy!
The Countdown
He knew it was a lie.
Knowing how it ends, won't make it hurt any less.
00:12:30
He stared out of the bleary apartment window stories above the bustling city below. His eyes unblinking, watching as the rain drops slid down the glass, making little rivers as they go. Just pass the drops, he studied the people as they rushed to get out the down pour and the many colored umbrellas that would bump and push against one another as the owners hustled across the street.
His obvious nakedness was covered loosely by a thick comforter, only his head and shoulders could be seen. From his reflection in window, he noticed the obvious signs of lack of sleep. The blackness under his eyes and sunken cheeks looked quite unbecoming to the usually vibrant and lovely face. His large doe eyes will dull and lifeless and shoulders that suck out from the thick comforter looked bone thin and sickly pale.
He could hardly recognize himself anymore.
00:12:10
Distracted by his own reflection, he didn’t notice that presence of another behind him. He jumped slightly at the feeling of strong arms that wrapped around his petite waist and a pointed chin resting on his left shoulder, pulling him into the hunched form.
“Jaejoong, why aren’t you in bed?” a voice full of sleep asked.
“I just…I just couldn’t sleep is all.”
“A nightmare?” A cool kiss was placed on his naked shoulder.
“No. It’s nothing like that.”
“Well, next time you decide to get up, could you at least leave the blanket? I think I am going to have to have my legs amputated due the frostbite.”
Jaejoong smiled fondly at the man’s complaining.
He is so adorable sometimes.
He turned to face the taller man, leaning into the man’s warmth as he did so; chest against chest, groin against groin. Perfectly connected. His knees grew instantly weak at the handsome man’s flawless smile; his eyes unable to leave the adorable mole that was perfectly placed beside his lovely lips. And despite looking just as haggard, pale, and worn as he was, the man was still as gorgeous as the first day he met him. Still as flawless.
He was about to wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders and proceed to kiss him with abandon until his eyes unconsciously darted toward the machine on the man’s right wrist. At the numbers that were written on the screen.
00:12:00
Only twelve hours left.
Exactly half day before he would lose this.
Lose this warm feeling.
Lose these arms around him.
Lose this man in front of him.
He instantly looked down, fighting so hard against the tears that were ready to come. He knew he shouldn’t let it get to him. Let him ruin these last moments with this man…but he couldn’t look away…
“I’m sorry, Yunho,” he whispered. Trying so hard to smile but it held no strength and died away as soon as it met his lips, “I’m sorry, but I just…I can’t…”
Surprised by the words, Yunho followed the smaller man’s gaze. Immediately, his expression turned dark and he frowned deeply. Grabbing Jaejoong’s chin, he pulled the man’s doe eyes away from the device forcibly.
“Don’t look at it, Jae. Forget about it.”
“How can I not look at it?!” He snapped suddenly, jerking his face away from his lover’s grip.
His anger grew in intensity as he whipped around and stared out into the rain once more. How could he ask such a thing?
“Dammit Jae-.”
“You can’t tell me not to look at it, Yunho! You can’t… because I can’t! When you were sleeping, that’s all I could look at…that damn thing…glaring at me, haunting me, spiting me,” he spoke slowly, breathlessly, trying to keep the tears from falling.
“Jae…”
00:11:55
“You can’t tell me not to look at it…you can’t…” he continued to mumble, stepping forward to bury his face in the man’s chest, “because I know you can’t either…”
When he thought he wasn’t looking, the taller man would always stare at that damn watch with a sad look on his face. A few times he had watched in silence as the man tried so hard to keep the tears from coming. Trying to be strong. But not for himself. No, never for himself. But for Jaejoong.
They had always known, for they had started their relationship just like a book, with the last page already written, the ending already known. And while they had tried their best to ignore it and filled those pages full of loving memories, they always knew how their story would end.
Last page would always be there, waiting for them patiently.
And it was hard to live a lie when that damned watch knew the truth.
He felt the Yunho’s strong arms wrap around him again, pulling tightly against his body. But Jaejoong refused to look into the man’s eyes, his head still facing away. Knowing the pain and guilt that resided there, all because of him; for him it was too much for him to look at.
Sometimes, it was worse than staring at that horrible machine, watching as the numbers decreased.
Instead, his small body began shaking violently with sobs and he buried his face into the man’s naked chest. The man who held him didn’t move an inch nor he did he try to stop him, even as he proceeded to smack his fists against the man’s chest in anger.
It wasn’t fair.
00:11:53
Dammit, it wasn’t fair at all.
00:11:51
For anyone else who looked at it, the time seemed to pass slowly, almost achingly slow. But to Jaejoong, they moved so rapidly. Days passed as quickly as hours, hours moved faster than minutes, and minutes passed like seconds…
…it was true. Time doesn’t slow down for anyone.
00:11:50
Not even for Kim Jaejoong.
00:11:49
He flinched when he felt wetness on the crown of his head, the body that held him so tightly trembling as his lover tried to stay strong and stop himself from breaking down completely.
00:11:48
How could he tell him not to look at it?
00:11:47
How could he not feel upset? Feel angry? Feel destroyed?
00:11:46
“I’m so sorry, Boo. God, I’m so sorry…”
When that thing counted down to the end of his world as he knew it…
00:11:45
Because as time ran out and their love ceased to exist…he knew…
00:11:30
….so would he…
END
===
AN: Let me know what you think ^^ I know many of you probably want to strangle me right now ;^^ *tries to ignore massive amount of angry faces with the pitchforks and torches* Just please don't kill me lol.
I didn't originally plan for my first YJ fic (well, first posted one at least) to be an angsty one or this short (haha). I can only take so much angst for YJ myself:(( Still, this idea came to mind not too long ago and didn't go away, so I figured I might as well write and post it. So, even though it's not on the happy side, I hope that you (the readers) liked it anyway.
Notice that I didn't mention character death, and I commented about the tragedy part as it being your own interpretation. That is because the clock itself can mean many different things when it comes to the end of a relationship. Yes, it could represent death, but as I said, it could represent other ways of separation. If you want to interpret as death you can, but I wanted to make it more ambiguous so you make your own interpretation on how it ends ;))
Anyway, thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think by posting a comment. Even if it's just to scream and yell at me or something like that lol.
Thanks!
AN2: And of course, Happy Birthday to Kim Jaejoong! A thousand hugs and kisses for you, babe! ^_____^
Pairing: YunJae
Beta: kot_kendra
Word Count: 1,050
Length: Oneshot
Genre: U;Angst (lots of it); mentions of Tragedy (if you interpret it as such)
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Sometimes, it is better not to know how things will end. Jaejoong knows this all too well.
NOTE: My first YunJae that I have posted, and technically, the first one I have ever written as well :3 Very angst but still hope it won't chase too many people away from reading it *fingers crossed*
Enjoy!
The Countdown
He knew it was a lie.
Knowing how it ends, won't make it hurt any less.
00:12:30
He stared out of the bleary apartment window stories above the bustling city below. His eyes unblinking, watching as the rain drops slid down the glass, making little rivers as they go. Just pass the drops, he studied the people as they rushed to get out the down pour and the many colored umbrellas that would bump and push against one another as the owners hustled across the street.
His obvious nakedness was covered loosely by a thick comforter, only his head and shoulders could be seen. From his reflection in window, he noticed the obvious signs of lack of sleep. The blackness under his eyes and sunken cheeks looked quite unbecoming to the usually vibrant and lovely face. His large doe eyes will dull and lifeless and shoulders that suck out from the thick comforter looked bone thin and sickly pale.
He could hardly recognize himself anymore.
00:12:10
Distracted by his own reflection, he didn’t notice that presence of another behind him. He jumped slightly at the feeling of strong arms that wrapped around his petite waist and a pointed chin resting on his left shoulder, pulling him into the hunched form.
“Jaejoong, why aren’t you in bed?” a voice full of sleep asked.
“I just…I just couldn’t sleep is all.”
“A nightmare?” A cool kiss was placed on his naked shoulder.
“No. It’s nothing like that.”
“Well, next time you decide to get up, could you at least leave the blanket? I think I am going to have to have my legs amputated due the frostbite.”
Jaejoong smiled fondly at the man’s complaining.
He is so adorable sometimes.
He turned to face the taller man, leaning into the man’s warmth as he did so; chest against chest, groin against groin. Perfectly connected. His knees grew instantly weak at the handsome man’s flawless smile; his eyes unable to leave the adorable mole that was perfectly placed beside his lovely lips. And despite looking just as haggard, pale, and worn as he was, the man was still as gorgeous as the first day he met him. Still as flawless.
He was about to wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders and proceed to kiss him with abandon until his eyes unconsciously darted toward the machine on the man’s right wrist. At the numbers that were written on the screen.
00:12:00
Only twelve hours left.
Exactly half day before he would lose this.
Lose this warm feeling.
Lose these arms around him.
Lose this man in front of him.
He instantly looked down, fighting so hard against the tears that were ready to come. He knew he shouldn’t let it get to him. Let him ruin these last moments with this man…but he couldn’t look away…
“I’m sorry, Yunho,” he whispered. Trying so hard to smile but it held no strength and died away as soon as it met his lips, “I’m sorry, but I just…I can’t…”
Surprised by the words, Yunho followed the smaller man’s gaze. Immediately, his expression turned dark and he frowned deeply. Grabbing Jaejoong’s chin, he pulled the man’s doe eyes away from the device forcibly.
“Don’t look at it, Jae. Forget about it.”
“How can I not look at it?!” He snapped suddenly, jerking his face away from his lover’s grip.
His anger grew in intensity as he whipped around and stared out into the rain once more. How could he ask such a thing?
“Dammit Jae-.”
“You can’t tell me not to look at it, Yunho! You can’t… because I can’t! When you were sleeping, that’s all I could look at…that damn thing…glaring at me, haunting me, spiting me,” he spoke slowly, breathlessly, trying to keep the tears from falling.
“Jae…”
00:11:55
“You can’t tell me not to look at it…you can’t…” he continued to mumble, stepping forward to bury his face in the man’s chest, “because I know you can’t either…”
When he thought he wasn’t looking, the taller man would always stare at that damn watch with a sad look on his face. A few times he had watched in silence as the man tried so hard to keep the tears from coming. Trying to be strong. But not for himself. No, never for himself. But for Jaejoong.
They had always known, for they had started their relationship just like a book, with the last page already written, the ending already known. And while they had tried their best to ignore it and filled those pages full of loving memories, they always knew how their story would end.
Last page would always be there, waiting for them patiently.
And it was hard to live a lie when that damned watch knew the truth.
He felt the Yunho’s strong arms wrap around him again, pulling tightly against his body. But Jaejoong refused to look into the man’s eyes, his head still facing away. Knowing the pain and guilt that resided there, all because of him; for him it was too much for him to look at.
Sometimes, it was worse than staring at that horrible machine, watching as the numbers decreased.
Instead, his small body began shaking violently with sobs and he buried his face into the man’s naked chest. The man who held him didn’t move an inch nor he did he try to stop him, even as he proceeded to smack his fists against the man’s chest in anger.
It wasn’t fair.
00:11:53
Dammit, it wasn’t fair at all.
00:11:51
For anyone else who looked at it, the time seemed to pass slowly, almost achingly slow. But to Jaejoong, they moved so rapidly. Days passed as quickly as hours, hours moved faster than minutes, and minutes passed like seconds…
…it was true. Time doesn’t slow down for anyone.
00:11:50
Not even for Kim Jaejoong.
00:11:49
He flinched when he felt wetness on the crown of his head, the body that held him so tightly trembling as his lover tried to stay strong and stop himself from breaking down completely.
00:11:48
How could he tell him not to look at it?
00:11:47
How could he not feel upset? Feel angry? Feel destroyed?
00:11:46
“I’m so sorry, Boo. God, I’m so sorry…”
When that thing counted down to the end of his world as he knew it…
00:11:45
Because as time ran out and their love ceased to exist…he knew…
00:11:30
….so would he…
END
===
AN: Let me know what you think ^^ I know many of you probably want to strangle me right now ;^^ *tries to ignore massive amount of angry faces with the pitchforks and torches* Just please don't kill me lol.
I didn't originally plan for my first YJ fic (well, first posted one at least) to be an angsty one or this short (haha). I can only take so much angst for YJ myself:(( Still, this idea came to mind not too long ago and didn't go away, so I figured I might as well write and post it. So, even though it's not on the happy side, I hope that you (the readers) liked it anyway.
Notice that I didn't mention character death, and I commented about the tragedy part as it being your own interpretation. That is because the clock itself can mean many different things when it comes to the end of a relationship. Yes, it could represent death, but as I said, it could represent other ways of separation. If you want to interpret as death you can, but I wanted to make it more ambiguous so you make your own interpretation on how it ends ;))
Anyway, thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think by posting a comment. Even if it's just to scream and yell at me or something like that lol.
Thanks!
AN2: And of course, Happy Birthday to Kim Jaejoong! A thousand hugs and kisses for you, babe! ^_____^