(no subject)
Who: The Maou/Wolfram
When: ...oh please like we even have a timeline
Where: The courtyard, of course
Rating: PG
What: The Maou and Wolfram talk about Shinou and how he sucks. And Wolfram punches the Maou and the watersnakes appear but then they leave and there is more talking.
The Maou was sitting under a raincloud in the middle of the courtyard. There was no rain anywhere around, but sure enough, right above him a little gay raincloud with eyes poured a continual torrent down on him. He hunched his shoulders and continued trying to write on wet paper.
Wolfram had been heading towards the stables to check on his horse..but he paused as soon as he saw what had to be the single most emo thing on the planet. And no, he didn't particularly care for the maou, but he had to stop and ask. "Problems?"
The Maou looked up at him and nodded, tendrils of black hair sticking to his face. "My...my..." He sniffled. "My pen ran out of ink."
Wolfram...was taken aback simply by how pitiful that was. By some stroke of luck, though, he happened to have a pen on him, so he reached into his pocket and withdrew the writing utensil, holding it out for the other man.
The Maou took it and began to write, then blinked. "My paper's all wet." He said, slightly confused, as though he had just now noticed it was raining.
Well, paper was one thing that Wolfram didn't have..not to mention it would've just gotten wet again. He looked up at the little raincloud and wrinkled his nose slightly. "That's probably because you're sitting under a raincloud."
"Its sitting on top of me." The Maou corrected with dignity.
"...how about going inside?" It seemed obvious enough.
"...You think?" The Maou said, eyes shining hopefully. This raincloud was getting old, anyway.
"I'm..pretty sure. It usually doesn't rain inside." Wolfram answered sarcastically, an eyebrow raised. "What are you doing out here anyway?"
"I was going to write a poem about how much I hate that guy."
"That guy?" Well, this was getting more interesting. "Who?"
"Shinou-heika! He never writes or calls or sends me roses or dead things or anything!" Pout.
Wolfram wrinkled his nose a bit at the name. "Yes well, he is a bastard so I mean...what do you expect?"
"...I know, but I still like him." The Maou sighed, blinking water out of his eyes. "I know its pitiful, but he's just so...hot. And nice, sometimes. Or, at least, once."
"Well he's been a downright ass to me everytime I've seen him." Wolfram hmphed and crossed his arms over his chest, making sure to stand back just enough to not get wet.
The Maou nodded, staring at his feet. "I know, but he makes me feel special because he hates everyone and he hates me...less."
Wolfram scoffed and rolled his eyes. "But he makes you feel like crap, obviously, so why bother?" ...don't mind the fact that Yuuri made Wolfram feel like crap on and off forever and he still dealt with it.
"Because he's sexy and powerful and he...kind of....likes me and who else can I have? /You/ don't like me." So, in a way, this was all Wolfram's fault.
Wolfram rolled his eyes again. "It's not like you ever REALLY wanted me anyway. I mean sure you did physically, but other than that you couldn't have cared less."
"Well, isn't physically good enough?"
Wolfram's eyes narrowed. "No. No it's not. At least not for me.
"
"Then you'll have to start dating women. All men are after only one thing."
"That's not true!" Wolfram suddenly erupted. "Murata's not..I mean...really, usually all Murata wants to do is cuddle and I'm the one who has to convince him otherwise." It was true, sadly.
"Then he has something wrong with him. Like, erectile dysfunction."
Wolfram frowned. "He most certainly does NOT have that."
"Or he's just gotten good at palming the pills."
"That's not true!! He just...he's deeper than that. We're in love!" And then Wolfram stomped his foot and made his argument even gayer.
The Maou looked at him. "If you were in love, he would want your hot body."
Aww, the maou thought that Wolfram was hot? That was..wait, this wasn't the time to dwell on that. "He does want my hot body! He just..we do other things, too. Love isn't just physical!"
"What kind of things do you do?"
"We...we talk. And we share things. And...and...we do things together, things that can seem completely ordinary but are so much better because we're together." Wow. Wolfram was gay.
The Maou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he definetly has erectile dysfunction. Or he's cheating on you. Who wants to do ordinary things?"
"People who actually love eachother, that's who! I mean we have sex often enough, but knowing that I can do anything with him, even stupid, boring things..."
"Why, you're too dumb to do stupid boring things by yourself? Do you need him to hold your hand every time you pee?" God, the Maou loved being a bitch. It was so fun!
Wolfram just hmphed and rolled his eyes, deciding to be the bigger man for once. "It's not like I'd expect you to understand anyway."
The Maou decided to be the emo man and looked down. "Because nobody loves me."
"That's right." Wolfram hmphed, back to being a bitch.
The Maou's raincloud strayed dangerously near the blonde. "But at least I'm not loved by an ugly kid with glasses who can't get it up..."
Yeah, remember that stuff about being the bigger man? All went out the window as Wolfram's fist promptly connected with the maou's jaw. Now he couldn't really punch hard enough to do any serious damage, but he could leave a bruise, that was for sure.
The Maou's head whipped back and the raincloud went over Wolfram, raining on him--and shooting bolts of lightning near the little blonde. The Maou stood up, showing how much taller and more manly he was. In fact, he stood a few feet off the ground, just for effect. "Why you little..."
Wolfram...well, Wolfram easily could have wet his pants at that point, but he stood his ground, just glaring upward and brandishing his fist. "What? Pissed that you got finally got what was coming to you?"
"Want to see what's coming to you?" The Maou said ominously, glaring at him and drifting a little higher.
Wolfram felt the urge to run, but his pride was too great for that, so he remained in his spot, just waiting for the stupid watersnakes.
Cue the watersnakes. It wasn't like he was predictable or anything. They lifted Wolfram off the ground and the Maou glared at him. "No one hits the Maou or defies him without getting justice!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Wolfram rolled his eyes, not surprised one bit to be in the air.
The watersnakes tried to take nibbles of his uniform...and skin.
Wolfram...started to squirm a bit, because the nibbles were actually kind of ticklish.
"Stop that." The Maou said to the snakes, looking momentarily less intimidating. Also, he was still wet. "I have to decide how to punish him!"
Wolfram, however, was still squirming and had started giggling softly as the snakes continued, making him look extremely gay.
The Maou got an erection from that, because aw, it was cute. "Oh, put him down." He said, and the snakes released Wolfram with annoyed watery pouts, disappearing into the ether. The Maou glared at him. "You." He said, and then uncertainly, "Are..not my friend."
Wolfram hit the ground rather hard and pouted, reaching back to rub his poor, hurt ass. "Well fine, like I care anyway!"
The Maou wanted to rub that ass. "Good! I'll just go...be happy with Shinou and not like or talk to you at all!"
"Well good! See if I care! I'll go be happy with Murata and..and not care about you at all!"
"Good! You do that!" The Maou sat down on the ground and stared at the wet tatters of paper he was still clutching. Despite the fact that there was no longer a gay raincloud, he still looked really miserable. And wet.
Wolfram slowly stood back up, still rubbing his ass because it still stung slightly and wow, the maou looked really pathetic. "You know..this is just an idea..but maybe you could talk to him about how you feel."
"He'll laugh at me."
"Yeah but...I mean..what else can you do? He's a bastard. If you really want to be with him, you're going to have to accept that."
"But...I don't want him to be a bastard!"
"Then you're with the wrong guy, obviously." Because Shinou would always be a bastard. That was life.
"Hmph. Who else am I going to be with, then?"
"Don't ask me." Wolfram hmphed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why do you HAVE to be with someone anyway?"
"...Like you're one to talk. You were sooo pitiful and obsessed with Yuuri. I wanted to tell him to bone you but he doesn't listen to me."
Well..Wolfram had to admit, he had been pretty pitiful at the time, but he had done something about it, at least! "That wasn't a matter of having to be with someone. It was..I was in love with him..."
"Well, it made you stupid, either way. Like Shinou makes me stupid."
Wolfram had to give him that..he had done some pretty stupid stuff. "So..you're saying you're in love with him?"
The Maou looked down. "MAYBE."
Wolfram sighed and shook his head. "You chose a rotten person to fall in love with, you know.."
"So did you!" The Maou retorted. "er. The first time. The ugly is kid okay."
"Yeah but...at least he wasn't evil."
"Shinou isn't evil! Didn't you people use to worship him or something dumb?"
"...yeah...until we found out he was evil." Wolfram stated blankly.
He blinked. "I don't think he's evil. And he's really good in bed."
Wolfram rolled his eyes. "You do know what he did to me, right? And that's not evil?"
"...What did he do?"
Wolfram paused. The maou really didn't know? ...well then... "He raped me."
"He did not!" The Maou said, then blinked. "Did he really?"
"Yes he did! Why would I lie about that?!"
"...I raped you and you don't think I'm evil." Not that that was really rape but whatever he was making a point.
"No..no you don't understand. This was...it was violent." The Maou had just been a jerk.
"...He wouldn't do that. He's a jerk, but he's never...I mean, been like that."
"You think so, hm? Would you like to talk to my husband about that? Or how about Giesela, since she was the one that I had to go to afterwards to make sure that I'd ever be able to sit again."
He looked down and thought about this. "But he's...I mean, he's...not a...bad person. Really, he isn't. I know he's a jerk and he eats babies, but he's just like that because...because he is."
Wolfram shook his head. "Think whatever you want, but the man is just downright evil."
The raincloud reappeared suddenly.
Wolfram turned on his heel, preparing to go back to the castle. "So just keep that in mind."
"I don't want to love someone whose evil." Oh, look how sad.
"Well then stop or something. I don't know." Wolfram waved off the Maou's predicament and headed back inside.
The Maou just sat there under this raincloud, exactly the same as when they began this.
When: ...oh please like we even have a timeline
Where: The courtyard, of course
Rating: PG
What: The Maou and Wolfram talk about Shinou and how he sucks. And Wolfram punches the Maou and the watersnakes appear but then they leave and there is more talking.
The Maou was sitting under a raincloud in the middle of the courtyard. There was no rain anywhere around, but sure enough, right above him a little gay raincloud with eyes poured a continual torrent down on him. He hunched his shoulders and continued trying to write on wet paper.
Wolfram had been heading towards the stables to check on his horse..but he paused as soon as he saw what had to be the single most emo thing on the planet. And no, he didn't particularly care for the maou, but he had to stop and ask. "Problems?"
The Maou looked up at him and nodded, tendrils of black hair sticking to his face. "My...my..." He sniffled. "My pen ran out of ink."
Wolfram...was taken aback simply by how pitiful that was. By some stroke of luck, though, he happened to have a pen on him, so he reached into his pocket and withdrew the writing utensil, holding it out for the other man.
The Maou took it and began to write, then blinked. "My paper's all wet." He said, slightly confused, as though he had just now noticed it was raining.
Well, paper was one thing that Wolfram didn't have..not to mention it would've just gotten wet again. He looked up at the little raincloud and wrinkled his nose slightly. "That's probably because you're sitting under a raincloud."
"Its sitting on top of me." The Maou corrected with dignity.
"...how about going inside?" It seemed obvious enough.
"...You think?" The Maou said, eyes shining hopefully. This raincloud was getting old, anyway.
"I'm..pretty sure. It usually doesn't rain inside." Wolfram answered sarcastically, an eyebrow raised. "What are you doing out here anyway?"
"I was going to write a poem about how much I hate that guy."
"That guy?" Well, this was getting more interesting. "Who?"
"Shinou-heika! He never writes or calls or sends me roses or dead things or anything!" Pout.
Wolfram wrinkled his nose a bit at the name. "Yes well, he is a bastard so I mean...what do you expect?"
"...I know, but I still like him." The Maou sighed, blinking water out of his eyes. "I know its pitiful, but he's just so...hot. And nice, sometimes. Or, at least, once."
"Well he's been a downright ass to me everytime I've seen him." Wolfram hmphed and crossed his arms over his chest, making sure to stand back just enough to not get wet.
The Maou nodded, staring at his feet. "I know, but he makes me feel special because he hates everyone and he hates me...less."
Wolfram scoffed and rolled his eyes. "But he makes you feel like crap, obviously, so why bother?" ...don't mind the fact that Yuuri made Wolfram feel like crap on and off forever and he still dealt with it.
"Because he's sexy and powerful and he...kind of....likes me and who else can I have? /You/ don't like me." So, in a way, this was all Wolfram's fault.
Wolfram rolled his eyes again. "It's not like you ever REALLY wanted me anyway. I mean sure you did physically, but other than that you couldn't have cared less."
"Well, isn't physically good enough?"
Wolfram's eyes narrowed. "No. No it's not. At least not for me.
"
"Then you'll have to start dating women. All men are after only one thing."
"That's not true!" Wolfram suddenly erupted. "Murata's not..I mean...really, usually all Murata wants to do is cuddle and I'm the one who has to convince him otherwise." It was true, sadly.
"Then he has something wrong with him. Like, erectile dysfunction."
Wolfram frowned. "He most certainly does NOT have that."
"Or he's just gotten good at palming the pills."
"That's not true!! He just...he's deeper than that. We're in love!" And then Wolfram stomped his foot and made his argument even gayer.
The Maou looked at him. "If you were in love, he would want your hot body."
Aww, the maou thought that Wolfram was hot? That was..wait, this wasn't the time to dwell on that. "He does want my hot body! He just..we do other things, too. Love isn't just physical!"
"What kind of things do you do?"
"We...we talk. And we share things. And...and...we do things together, things that can seem completely ordinary but are so much better because we're together." Wow. Wolfram was gay.
The Maou rolled his eyes. "Yeah, he definetly has erectile dysfunction. Or he's cheating on you. Who wants to do ordinary things?"
"People who actually love eachother, that's who! I mean we have sex often enough, but knowing that I can do anything with him, even stupid, boring things..."
"Why, you're too dumb to do stupid boring things by yourself? Do you need him to hold your hand every time you pee?" God, the Maou loved being a bitch. It was so fun!
Wolfram just hmphed and rolled his eyes, deciding to be the bigger man for once. "It's not like I'd expect you to understand anyway."
The Maou decided to be the emo man and looked down. "Because nobody loves me."
"That's right." Wolfram hmphed, back to being a bitch.
The Maou's raincloud strayed dangerously near the blonde. "But at least I'm not loved by an ugly kid with glasses who can't get it up..."
Yeah, remember that stuff about being the bigger man? All went out the window as Wolfram's fist promptly connected with the maou's jaw. Now he couldn't really punch hard enough to do any serious damage, but he could leave a bruise, that was for sure.
The Maou's head whipped back and the raincloud went over Wolfram, raining on him--and shooting bolts of lightning near the little blonde. The Maou stood up, showing how much taller and more manly he was. In fact, he stood a few feet off the ground, just for effect. "Why you little..."
Wolfram...well, Wolfram easily could have wet his pants at that point, but he stood his ground, just glaring upward and brandishing his fist. "What? Pissed that you got finally got what was coming to you?"
"Want to see what's coming to you?" The Maou said ominously, glaring at him and drifting a little higher.
Wolfram felt the urge to run, but his pride was too great for that, so he remained in his spot, just waiting for the stupid watersnakes.
Cue the watersnakes. It wasn't like he was predictable or anything. They lifted Wolfram off the ground and the Maou glared at him. "No one hits the Maou or defies him without getting justice!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Wolfram rolled his eyes, not surprised one bit to be in the air.
The watersnakes tried to take nibbles of his uniform...and skin.
Wolfram...started to squirm a bit, because the nibbles were actually kind of ticklish.
"Stop that." The Maou said to the snakes, looking momentarily less intimidating. Also, he was still wet. "I have to decide how to punish him!"
Wolfram, however, was still squirming and had started giggling softly as the snakes continued, making him look extremely gay.
The Maou got an erection from that, because aw, it was cute. "Oh, put him down." He said, and the snakes released Wolfram with annoyed watery pouts, disappearing into the ether. The Maou glared at him. "You." He said, and then uncertainly, "Are..not my friend."
Wolfram hit the ground rather hard and pouted, reaching back to rub his poor, hurt ass. "Well fine, like I care anyway!"
The Maou wanted to rub that ass. "Good! I'll just go...be happy with Shinou and not like or talk to you at all!"
"Well good! See if I care! I'll go be happy with Murata and..and not care about you at all!"
"Good! You do that!" The Maou sat down on the ground and stared at the wet tatters of paper he was still clutching. Despite the fact that there was no longer a gay raincloud, he still looked really miserable. And wet.
Wolfram slowly stood back up, still rubbing his ass because it still stung slightly and wow, the maou looked really pathetic. "You know..this is just an idea..but maybe you could talk to him about how you feel."
"He'll laugh at me."
"Yeah but...I mean..what else can you do? He's a bastard. If you really want to be with him, you're going to have to accept that."
"But...I don't want him to be a bastard!"
"Then you're with the wrong guy, obviously." Because Shinou would always be a bastard. That was life.
"Hmph. Who else am I going to be with, then?"
"Don't ask me." Wolfram hmphed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why do you HAVE to be with someone anyway?"
"...Like you're one to talk. You were sooo pitiful and obsessed with Yuuri. I wanted to tell him to bone you but he doesn't listen to me."
Well..Wolfram had to admit, he had been pretty pitiful at the time, but he had done something about it, at least! "That wasn't a matter of having to be with someone. It was..I was in love with him..."
"Well, it made you stupid, either way. Like Shinou makes me stupid."
Wolfram had to give him that..he had done some pretty stupid stuff. "So..you're saying you're in love with him?"
The Maou looked down. "MAYBE."
Wolfram sighed and shook his head. "You chose a rotten person to fall in love with, you know.."
"So did you!" The Maou retorted. "er. The first time. The ugly is kid okay."
"Yeah but...at least he wasn't evil."
"Shinou isn't evil! Didn't you people use to worship him or something dumb?"
"...yeah...until we found out he was evil." Wolfram stated blankly.
He blinked. "I don't think he's evil. And he's really good in bed."
Wolfram rolled his eyes. "You do know what he did to me, right? And that's not evil?"
"...What did he do?"
Wolfram paused. The maou really didn't know? ...well then... "He raped me."
"He did not!" The Maou said, then blinked. "Did he really?"
"Yes he did! Why would I lie about that?!"
"...I raped you and you don't think I'm evil." Not that that was really rape but whatever he was making a point.
"No..no you don't understand. This was...it was violent." The Maou had just been a jerk.
"...He wouldn't do that. He's a jerk, but he's never...I mean, been like that."
"You think so, hm? Would you like to talk to my husband about that? Or how about Giesela, since she was the one that I had to go to afterwards to make sure that I'd ever be able to sit again."
He looked down and thought about this. "But he's...I mean, he's...not a...bad person. Really, he isn't. I know he's a jerk and he eats babies, but he's just like that because...because he is."
Wolfram shook his head. "Think whatever you want, but the man is just downright evil."
The raincloud reappeared suddenly.
Wolfram turned on his heel, preparing to go back to the castle. "So just keep that in mind."
"I don't want to love someone whose evil." Oh, look how sad.
"Well then stop or something. I don't know." Wolfram waved off the Maou's predicament and headed back inside.
The Maou just sat there under this raincloud, exactly the same as when they began this.