(no subject)
Who: Yuuri and Wolfram
What: R for peen touching?
Summary: Yuuri is dumb and touches something evil in the basement which makes him evil. He then decides to try and do Wolfram...and fails. So he beats him and ties him in the basement instead.
Yuuri was dumb and have been wandering in the basement, looking for some scrolls for Gunter, who had wanted to know some obscure point of etiquette for the Great Sage's wedding, which could only be found in some obscure scroll that was in the basement.
An hour of searching later, he had only turned up some really weird old relics that looked oddly like peens and some really dumb jewelry. Finally he found a black scroll and with a sigh of relief, he unrolled it. He stared at the weird symbols inscribed on it. "Oh man, this isn't the--"
There was a flash of black light, some dramatic music and then Yuuri was on the floor, on his back. He sat up and looked down at himself. He stretched and began, very slowly, to smile.
Wolfram had been..wandering. Okay so technically he was on duty or whatever, but really it was just wandering since Yuuri wasn't near him or anything. Bored, he stopped and leaned against one of the hallway walls, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he yawned widely. Everything was too peaceful.
Yuuri walked down the hall. He was murmuring to himself, repeating one line over and over, trying to copy how 'Yuuri' would say the words, with the right inflection of stupidy and enthusiasm. He had to practice smiling and keep his eyes from showing even a spark of intelligence. All in all, it was very hard work.
He turned down the hall and stopped, spotting his prey. "Hi, Wolfram!" He said. Just like he had practiced.
Wolfram cracked an eye open and looked over, not surprised to see Yuuri standing there, looking as dumb as usual. "Morning, your majesty." He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Yes, he was too tired to be doing this crap.
"Hey, Wolfram." He said, grinning dumbly. Just had to keep this up a little longer. "I want to show you something. In my room." And he managed to say that with a straight face. He was good.
Wolfram blinked a few times and straightened his posture, obviously curious. "What is it?" It was rare that he was invited to Yuuri's room. It was rare even when they had been engaged. So it had to be something important.
Yuuri caught him by the wrist and led him toward his room. He closed the door behind himself and locked it, then turned closer to Wolfram. "Hey Wolf?" He said. "I've been thinking and I've finally figured out...maybe we just need to get each other out of our systems so we can move on." His hands found Wolfram's shoulders and pushed him up against the door. Then his lips found Wolfram's and kissed him hard.
Oh…oh…wait..WHAT? What the hell had just happened?! Wolfram could've sworn that he was standing around bored in the hallway just a moment ago..and now..Yuuri was…Yuuri was kissing him?
It took him a moment to catch up, but when he did, Wolfram put his hands on Yuuri's shoulders and pushed forcefully. Yuuri knew this was wrong. Wolfram just figured he'd have to knock some sense into him. "What that HELL do you think you're doing???!!"
Yuuri stepped back, then caught Wolfram's wrist and jerked, trying to propell the skinny blonde into his arms. He slid his hand down to stroke the other's round ass. "I'm doing what I should have done when we first met. I should have kissed you, and touched you and fucked you every night until you screamed my name. But luckily, I can make up for that."
Okay, something was DEFINITELY wrong. Yuuri's words were making Wolfram blush, and that just..wasn't like Yuuri at all. But it wasn't as if Wolfram was going to give in. It was YUURI. He had just..temporarily lost his mind or something.
He jerked his hand away, eyes narrowed and posture stiff. "No, I'm afraid you can't. In case you've forgotten, I'm married. You lost."
Yuuri blinked at him and his eyes got all wide and sad. "You're telling me you don't...think of what could have been?" He edged closer and his fingers swept through Wolfram's blonde hair and down the back of his neck, tickling against blonde hairs. "What it would have been like?"
Wolfram closed his eyes, unable to keep a shiver from running down his spine. "I…" He began, his voice soft and not nearly as stern as it had been. "I'm married." And that was it. It didn't matter what he used to want or what he thought of. He was devoted and he would never do anything purposely to hurt his husband.
"And if you kiss me." He whispered, "you'll know that you made the right choice. You'll know that Murata was the one for you...and you won't have any more regrets." His hand began to undo Wolfram's uniform.
"W-what the hell kind of reasoning is that??" Wolfram yelled, pushing at Yuuri's chest, trying to get him to just STOP. "I'm not going to cheat on him! I love him! It..it would break his heart…"
"He doesn't need to know." Yuuri promised, his fingers continuing to carefully undo Wolfram's clothes. "It'll be our secret."
Wolfram lifted his hands, forcefully pulling Yuuri's away from his coat, which was now almost completely undone. "No. No it won't. I'd never do that to him."
Yuuri stepped forward until they were almost chest to chest again, trying to keep Wolfram pinned between him and the wall. His hand slid up to Wolfram's chest and began to make a circle around the nipple. "You've never, ever wondered? What it would have been like? You and me?"
Wolfram tried to step back and away but just hit the door, cursing softly to himself. He'd have to think of another escape route…but then Yuuri asked THAT question. He looked to the side, pushing Yuuri's hands away again. "…of course I have. It..I mean..I was in love with you. It wasn't anything I could help." He paused, turning his eyes to Yuuri's oddly dull ones. "But not anymore! So just..just let me go.."
"I still love you." Yuuri said, his eyes big and slightly gay. "I still think about you. I just want to know...what it would have been like...if..." He said, and he let his hand trail across Wolfram's face, down to rest on his shoulder. He brushed his lips lightly against the others.
Wolfram couldn't help but sigh softly. Now Yuuri was back to seeming normal, and he couldn't help but melt a little. How could he be mean to THAT? It was so sad and gay…
He turned his head to the side to break the kiss, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "It's over, Yuuri. I made my choice..and..you made yours too. With Shouri-heika, I mean."
Yuuri was considering hitting the dumbass over the head and then just taking what he wanted. It was obvious Wolfram wanted to do it, but no, he had to be all moral and annoying. Instead, he looked down and rubbed his foot back and forth across the carpet, trailing his fingers down Wolfram's chest. "You don't like me at all anymore, do you?"
Wolfram's eye twitched noticeably and he pressed himself further back against the door. "You know that's not true. I…I'd like to think that you're my best friend." Outside Murata, of course, but he didn't count.
"I don't mean that kind of like." Yuuri said gently, his hand straying farther down to cup Wolfram's package and rub it. "I mean, do you ever think about me inside you? Do you ever dream about me stroking you?" He said the last two words slowly, rubbing Wolfram through his pants with a gentle pressure.
Even he and Murata didn't speak like that to eachother…or not seriously, at least. Wolfram felt even his ears redden and he couldn't help but gasp at the pressure against his crotch, trying to stumble away but, once again, only hitting the stupid door. Damn it D:
"I..I u-used to. But n-not anymore!" Wolfram protested, pushing away Yuuri's hand lightly. Not too hard or harsh or else the maou might start crying and then Wolfram would never forgive himself.
Yuuri looked at him and then placed his hand back and squeezed slowly, insistently. "Hey, Wolf." He said in Yuuri's friendly tone, like he might suddenly start talking about baseball. "Do I make you hard?"
"W-why are you asking me something like that! O-of course not! Only..only Murata…" Wolfram's protests were useless, though, as Yuuri could easily feel that he was lying. But this was going too far, and Wolfram had to stop it. He wrapped his fingers around Yuuri's wrist, tugging the other boy's hand away easily. "Stop this nonsense already.."
Yuuri shoved him against the wall roughly and kissed him. The kiss was gentle, like a lover's, his lips nuzzling softly at Wolfram's. "No." He said, pulling back and whispering into the blonde's ear. "I want you. I dream about you. I want to be inside you, I want to make love to you, Wolf." He said, his voice hot and somewhere between pleading and demanding. "I want to know what you look like when you come. I want you to scream harder than you've ever screamed."
Why was Yuuri suddenly doing this? It really made no sense to Wolfram…but at that moment, he couldn't think well enough to try and get to the bottom of it. No, first he had to get Yuuri to stop. Aah, but Yuuri was still a good kisser, it seemed…
Wolfram lingered a bit longer than he should have, simply for his own benefit, before he jerked his head away, hitting it against the door in the process and cursing softly. But he didn't have long to think about the bruise that was probably forming, because Yuuri was whispering naughty words into his ear and he was blushing even more.
"Y-Yuuri.." He began, voice now shaky and body throbbing. "Those are things that are reserved f-for my husband. You know that. So..s-so stop…"
Yuuri's finger found Wolfram's nipple again and rubbed it gently to hardness. "No." He said simply and took Wolfram's lips again, the kiss more forceful, this time, more demanding.
Okay, now this was crossing into dangerous territory. Wolfram had tried gentle negotiation, and it didn't seem to be getting him anywhere, so when Yuuri leaned forward for another kiss he placed his hands on the demon king's shoulders and shoved hard, trying to propel the other boy back far enough to knock some sense into him.
Yuuri's stumbled backward and for a minute, his eyes flashed black, but then he seemed to regain himself. "You're aroused." He said, looking at Wolfram. "And so am I." Indeed, Yuuri's peen was hard in his black pants. "You want me. I know you think about it. I think about you, Wolf. I think about you all the time. You're in my system, in my blood." Very poetic for Yuuri. "You're like a disease...and its only cure." Apparently, apart from channeling pure evil, he was channeling the maou.
Wolfram looked ashamed for a moment. He had to give Yuuri that. His body certainly wasn't saying no…but he was and that should have been enough. Afterall, he always had an erection. It wasn't anything he could really control.
"You..you have Shouri-heika. Go and find him if you're just physically needy." Wolfram mumbled, his hand sliding up and trying to be inconspicuous as it headed for the handle of the door. If anything, he could make a quick escape.
Yuuri stepped forward and caught his hand. "I'm not just physically needy. I don't want Shouri." He said forcefully. His hand cupped Wolfram's cheek. "I want you. I'm not afraid to say it any longer, Wolfram." His voice got soft, tender. "I want you."
Damn it. He had been caught D: Wolfram couldn't stand to look into those big, sad eyes so he looked to the side and down at the floor, as if there was something interesting down there. "It doesn't matter. It's over. It's..been over. You know that."
"And...I don't want to start it up again. But.." His voice got sad and gay. "Couldn't we have this? Just this one time? For...what could have been?"
Wolfram felt absolutely horrible about it, but something inside him wanted it. Wanted to finally get it over with. His body had been aching for it for years and had never been satisfied. But he was far too in control of himself to just let himself go. "No, we can't." He stated, voice soft but firm.
Yuuri edged closer, seeming to sense that something in Wolfram wanted what he was offering. His hand slid up to Wolfram's chest, just resting over his heart. "Please, Wolf." He said softly. "Then it will be better. Easier for both of us. We'll both know we're with the right people...and...and...we can just...get on with our lives without having to think about what could have been."
It was tempting, it really was. If only because what Yuuri was saying kind of made sense, because Wolfram was dumb sometimes…but he still shook his head. “Just stop this, okay? It would only make things worse and you know it.”
Yuuri shook his head. "I won't. I can't stop thinking about you...about how beautiful you are...and what an idiot I was to have missed it." His fingers stroked through Wolfram's soft blonde hair.
"But you did miss it, Yuuri." Wolfram continued to argue, though his voice was soft. "You missed it and now the opportunity's gone and that's it. So..stop this? Please?" He really didn't want to have to physically hurt the other boy..
Yuuri stared at him. "I thought...I mean...when you didn't come around anymore, I thought it was because you felt the same way I did...but I guess..." He looked at Wolfram with tears in his eyes. "Do you hate me?"
Oh God, now he was going to cry. Wolfram felt his heart tug hard and he couldn't help but let his guard down, his arms hanging limply at his sides and his head lowered. "I..I could never hate you, Yuuri. You're very, very important to me."
"But you never want to be around me." Yuuri pressed his advantage, edging closer again.
"Well..probably because of how things were left between us. Not to mention..I mean...there still is a sort of tension, but that's not anything that can be helped." Oh, he was falling into the trap.
Yuuri privately exulted in his smart. "Yes, there is." He said insistently. He pressed himself close to Wolfram but didn't do any peen touching yet.
"Maybe there is.." Wolfram began, aware that Yuuri was getting closer. "But..but this isn't it. This will make it all much worse. I know it."
"No, no, it won't...I just want what we would have. Our one wedding night."
"Yuuri..if we would've gotten married, there would've been way more than just one night." Wolfram added snarkily.
"Well, we aren't. We're never going to be." Yuuri said, his hand stealing down to play at front of Wolfram's pants, fingers rubbing at the bulge lightly.
"Because it's o-over.." Wolfram's voice wavered on the last word and he tried to step to the side, pushing at Yuuri's hand again. "So..so stop."
Yuuri followed him like they were doing some kind of 'chase Wolfram's peen' dance. His hand became more forceful. "No. I want you. I love you." He said, like a real man.
And it was then that it was really driven home to Wolfram that something was wrong with Yuuri...and the first thing he thought to do was reach a hand out and press it to Yuuri's forehead, checking for a fever.
Yuuri took the opportunity to reach his hand down Wolfram's pants and check his peen for a fever. Or something. He did feel hot and flushed but that was probably because he was aroused.
"A-ah!" Wolfram cried out suddenly, jerking his hand away and using it instead to tug Yuuri's hand out of his pants. "Don't..d-don't touch me there you..you...imposter!" ..because that was the best explanation he could think of for Yuuri's sudden personality change.
Yuuri looked hurt. "Wolf?...What are you talking about?" He said.
"You! You're acting really really strange!" Wolfram pointed an accusing finger.
"Why?! Its not like this is a surprise. Its not like this is...a...a..anything. You know I want you... I just..." He sniffled and looked gay.
"But Yuuri's too much of a wimp to do this all of a sudden." Wolfram stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I am not!" Yuuri stomped his foot, then looked down. "You called me a wimp."
Wolfram smiled slightly at that. "That's because you are. So stop all of this and we'll go and find Giesela to fix you."
"I don't want to be fixed." He grabbed Wolfram and kissed him, his lips forceful and hungry against the blondes. "There's nothing wrong with me, except you."
Wolfram jerked out of the kiss as soon as his train of thought caught up with him. Fortunately, Yuuri was not Shinou, so Wolfram could push him around if need be. "I'm not going to let you do this."
Yuuri started to say something, and then he shook his head. "Fine. I'm sorry... I just thought..." He sat down, pulling his knees to his chest, a single tear going down his cheek. "I'm sorry, Wolf."
"You thought what?" Wolfram asked softly, unable to keep himself from kneeling next to the crying boy. He was still his friend, afterall. "That I would cheat for you?"
"I thought that you loved me..."
"I do love you, Yuuri." Wolfram reassured, reaching out to gently pat Yuuri's back. "But...I love Murata, too."
"I don't want to hurt Ken!!" He looked up at Wolfram. "I just want to...kiss you.." He was pitiful.
Wolfram sighed deeply. "But kissing me hurts him. You can't have one without the other."
"It doesn't. Murata doesn't have to know...this isn't about him, or Shou-chan, Wolf. Its about me and you. Its about what we want...maybe even...what we need." Dramatic sappy music played in the background.
Wolfram paused then shook his head before he could even began honestly considering the offer. "It isn't worth it, Yuuri."
Yuuri looked down. "You mean I'm not worth it." He corrected.
"If you're trying to gauge your importance to me against Murata's...then you're right. At least when it comes to something like this." Wolfram stated plainly.
Yuuri just stared at the ground. "I don't want to get between you and Ken." He said. It sounded more like, 'I'm just going to kill myself now, okay?'
"Then why are you doing this? I mean...you'll live without me. I'm..I'm not that good anyway." Wolfram was lying through his teeth on the last part because he knew that he was awesome..because he was Wolfram.
"Because I love you. Because I want to know that we made the right choice and I want to stop thinking about...about wanting you every time we're in the same room together." Yuuri made a speech.
"This won't fix that. It'll only ruin my marriage, your relationship with your brother, and we won't be able to stand being in the same room with eachother because it'll be so incredibly awkward."
"No it won't!" Yuuri said. The blonde wasn't as blond as he looked, he thought with disgust. He stood up and took Wolfram by the shoulders, looking into his eyes, stroking Wolfram's chest lightly. "Don't you want to know? Aren't you even the least bit curious?"
"I'm not going to lie..." Wolfram looked to the side, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment. "I've always been a little curious, but not nearly enough to ruin my life for it." Because he and Murata had been living ridiculously comfortably with eachother and it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon.
"It won't! I promise. Ken and Shouri won't know. You think I would risk losing nii-chan again?"
Wolfram lifted his head to meet Yuuri's eyes with his own. "...maybe you can live with the guilt, Yuuri, but I can't."
Yuuri thought that he could probably live with the guilt better than he could live with the internal hemorrhaging that was about to result. He was getting sick of this game.
But he wasn't giving up, damn it. He reached over to rub Wolfram's peen again, enjoying seeing him squirm. "Can you live with us being so awkward, with never knowing how we would have been? What you wanted for so long, Wolf, when I was too stupid to notice?"
And Yuuri was rewarded a moment later with a squirming Wolfram, though he squirmed away rather than towards the wandering hand. "...I can live with that more than I can with the guilt of having lied to and cheated on my husband."
"You lied and cheated on me!" He snapped. Where was the guilt over that?
Wolfram twitched once. Twice. Three times a lady. That...was true. "But.." He began, voice shaky now. "We weren't..married...or even really committed at that point...."
"You said you were my fiance." Yuuri pressed, his hands sliding to Wolfram's shoulders. "You said you loved me." He murmured, pressing closer to Wolfram, dark eyes blazing.
Oh, hey, this was fun too.
"I..I was..b-but you never wanted me anyway..." Wolfram didn't sound quite so sure of himself anymore and his mind was working on overload, preventing him from really trying to slide away. "You told me you'd never marry a man. You rejected me constantly."
Yuuri kissed him gently. "I'm not rejecting you now." He said pointedly.
Bipolar Yuuri. In stores everywhere.
Wolfram shook his head forcefully to get away from the kiss. "But you missed your chance! It's done! Gone!"
"I tried! I got you...strawberries...and candles and rose petals!"
"...when it was already over, yes."
"I didn't know it was over. I thought...I thought I could make it all right. I thought we would be all right.."
"We are all right." Wolfram mumbled, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. "Or we're getting there."
Yuuri kissed him again. "No, we're not. I'm not..." He ran his hand down Wolfram's warm stomach.
And Wolfram pulled away, once again. "But you will be. In time."
Yuuri pulled away. "Watching you and Murata be happy together."
"And being happy with Shouri-heika." Wolfram reminded him.
"I love Shouri...I just have to know...I mean, if you and I...you can't tell me you don't want me, Wolfram!"
"And what if it was amazing, Yuuri? Then what? It'd be even worse because we'd both know that it could never happen again, that's what!" Wolfram was getting slightly annoyed.
"At least we could say we knew! At least we both would have gotten what we wanted..."
"But what if it's the absolute best sex ever and we want more, hm?" Wolfram seriously doubted that it would be, but still!
Yuuri frowned. "It won't be if you really love Murata because sex is always better with the person you love than the person you don't."
"But...what I'm saying is that..." What Wolfram was saying was that he was afraid that it would be amazing and he would start doubting his and Murata's relationship..but of course he didn't say this. "I'm saying that I don't want to take that chance."
"You really love Murata, right? And I really love Shou-chan"
"Of course I do! And that's why...I don't want to do this." It made sense to Wolfram.
Yuuri leaned forward and slid his hand down to cup Wolfram's crotch in his hand. "If you love him, why are you hard?" He taunted.
Wolfram's eye twitched and he looked guilty as he squirmed around. "B-because I'm young and I can't help it. The wind blowing gets me hard." ..it was true, sadly.
Yuuri chuckled and squeezed his crotch. "Does the wind do that?"
"...it doesn't have to." Wolfram squirmed more, looking away, his cheeks heating up.
Yuuri unbuttoned Wolfram's pants. "Let me help you with that." He said quietly.
"No!!" Wolfram squeaked and scooted backwards across the floor, his hands moving to button his pants back up. "I told you not to touch there!"
Yuuri caught him by the wrist and smiled. "You want me." He said simply.
"It doesn't matter if I do or not!" Wolfram protested, jerking his wrist back.
Yuuri moved to try and shove Wolfram against the wall so they were body to body, blue eyes meeting green. "Say you want me." He said, his voice still soft, still sweet still Yuuri's.
Once again, Yuuri wasn't much bigger than Wolfram so it wasn't hard for him to push the other boy away, shaking his head. "I won't. I'm leaving, Yuuri." And he started moving to stand.
Yuuri stared after him for a minute. This wasn't fun at all. "Fine! I hate you!" Then, just because some part of him was still Yuuri, "I won't play baseball with you!"
Wolfram paused, looking down at his lap sadly. "..you really hate me? Just because of that?"
"Yes." Yuuri said, glaring at the floor and being emo.
"...Yuuri would never hate anyone." Wolfram stated plainly, eyeing the other boy. "So once again, I'm wondering just who you are."
"If it makes you feel better to think I'm not Yuuri, go ahead." Yuuri said.
"It's not a thought. I KNOW that you're not him." Wolfram crossed his arms over his chest, looking defiant.
Yuuri sighed. "Uh-huh. Right." Okay, so he wasn't, but he wasn't going to admit that to..some really gay thing. "I'm his evil impostor from...mars."
"From where?" Wolfram tilted his head, looking confused.
"Its a planet...near Earth...oh, forget it. Go..bake a bundt cake with Murata or something."
Wolfram paused, an eyebrow lifting slowly. "Are you...the maou?" Because only the maou did the bundt cake thing...right?
"...No, I'm not the maou! I'm Yuuri Shibuya Harajuki Fuuri!!"
Wolfram nodded slowly. "Sure you are..." Obviously, he was being sarcastic.
Yuuri nodded. "That's right. I told you, didn't I?"
Hah, see he was acting stupid to trick Wolfram. He was so smart.
"..I suppose so." Wolfram sighed, buttoning his shirt and zipping his coat back up. "..I just hope that in time, you change your mind."
"...Hey...Wolf..I didn't really mean...that I hated you." Yes he did.
Wolfram's hand halted on the zipper. "I'm glad. Because I certainly don't hate you."
"Really? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"It's okay." Wolfram smiled softly and reached a hand over to pat Yuuri's shoulder.
Yuuri smiled at him. "I'm glad you're happy with Murata." He said.
"Do you really mean that?" Wolfram's smile had already widened.
Yuuri grinned. "Yeah. I want you two to be happy. And I'll be happy with Shouri. I promise, Wolf." Except not.
"I'm glad to hear you say that." Wolfram finished zipping up his jacket then leaned over to give Yuuri a kiss on his forehead. That was appropriate, right?
Yuuri blushed dumbly and thought about all the ways he was going to ruin Wolfram's life.
Wolfram stood after, finishing zipping up his coat and adjusting himself in his pants. Yeah..the erection wasn't comfortable, but it would go away. "Would you like to come and eat some breakfast with me?" He offered gayly.
"Uh, Gunter wanted me to run some errands...something about a scroll."
"A scroll?" Wolfram tilted his head again, looking rapeable. "Anything I could help with?"
Yuuri stood up and smiled. "No." He said. "You should go...be with Murata."
"Oh I'm sure he's busy with something or other at the moment. And I'm technically supposed to be on duty. I'd much rather hang around you than stand around in the hallway for a few more hours." Wolfram was trying so hard to make it seem like everything was okay.
Yuuri sighed. Was there no way to ditch Wolfram? Well, he supposed..."Yeah, sure, why don't we go look for it together in the basement?"
Wolfram's eye twitched a bit. "Aren't there servants for that?" Really. Digging around in the dirty, old basement? Not a job for a king.
"Not if Gunter's involved, no."
"Ah, I see. Either way...it's better than duty." Wolfram shrugged then extended a hand to help Yuuri stand.
Yuuri pulled himself up and smiled at him. "Follow me." He said, and then walked down the hall, grinning creepily.
Wolfram followed close behind, eyeing Yuuri's back curiously. If he stayed with him, maybe this imposter or whatever wouldn't get into too much trouble. Or maybe he could figure out how to fix him.
Yuuri lead him into the basement. "Here, you look over there and I'll look over here." He said, pointing to piles of scrolls.
"..alright." Wolfram agreed, already bored..but he had offered so he had to help and blah blah blah. He wandered over to the pile and started sorting through them. "So what am I looking for exactly?"
"Um, some scroll having to do with the great sage's wedding." Yuuri said, finding a heavy urn.
"Oooohhh..." Wolfram sounded much more interested now. Afterall, it had to do with him :D
Yuuri nodded. "Yeah, its cool." He snuck up behind Wolfram and swung the urn at the gay thing's head.
And, because Wolfram wasn't looking and had let his guard down a bit, the urn made direct contact with the back of his skull, causing him to gasp and fall forward, vision swimming.
Yuuri hit him again, giggling a little insanely, like the Joker. Or someone who wasn't in Batman comics.
And then Wolfram was out.
Yuuri tied him up and walked off whistling.
What: R for peen touching?
Summary: Yuuri is dumb and touches something evil in the basement which makes him evil. He then decides to try and do Wolfram...and fails. So he beats him and ties him in the basement instead.
Yuuri was dumb and have been wandering in the basement, looking for some scrolls for Gunter, who had wanted to know some obscure point of etiquette for the Great Sage's wedding, which could only be found in some obscure scroll that was in the basement.
An hour of searching later, he had only turned up some really weird old relics that looked oddly like peens and some really dumb jewelry. Finally he found a black scroll and with a sigh of relief, he unrolled it. He stared at the weird symbols inscribed on it. "Oh man, this isn't the--"
There was a flash of black light, some dramatic music and then Yuuri was on the floor, on his back. He sat up and looked down at himself. He stretched and began, very slowly, to smile.
Wolfram had been..wandering. Okay so technically he was on duty or whatever, but really it was just wandering since Yuuri wasn't near him or anything. Bored, he stopped and leaned against one of the hallway walls, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he yawned widely. Everything was too peaceful.
Yuuri walked down the hall. He was murmuring to himself, repeating one line over and over, trying to copy how 'Yuuri' would say the words, with the right inflection of stupidy and enthusiasm. He had to practice smiling and keep his eyes from showing even a spark of intelligence. All in all, it was very hard work.
He turned down the hall and stopped, spotting his prey. "Hi, Wolfram!" He said. Just like he had practiced.
Wolfram cracked an eye open and looked over, not surprised to see Yuuri standing there, looking as dumb as usual. "Morning, your majesty." He mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Yes, he was too tired to be doing this crap.
"Hey, Wolfram." He said, grinning dumbly. Just had to keep this up a little longer. "I want to show you something. In my room." And he managed to say that with a straight face. He was good.
Wolfram blinked a few times and straightened his posture, obviously curious. "What is it?" It was rare that he was invited to Yuuri's room. It was rare even when they had been engaged. So it had to be something important.
Yuuri caught him by the wrist and led him toward his room. He closed the door behind himself and locked it, then turned closer to Wolfram. "Hey Wolf?" He said. "I've been thinking and I've finally figured out...maybe we just need to get each other out of our systems so we can move on." His hands found Wolfram's shoulders and pushed him up against the door. Then his lips found Wolfram's and kissed him hard.
Oh…oh…wait..WHAT? What the hell had just happened?! Wolfram could've sworn that he was standing around bored in the hallway just a moment ago..and now..Yuuri was…Yuuri was kissing him?
It took him a moment to catch up, but when he did, Wolfram put his hands on Yuuri's shoulders and pushed forcefully. Yuuri knew this was wrong. Wolfram just figured he'd have to knock some sense into him. "What that HELL do you think you're doing???!!"
Yuuri stepped back, then caught Wolfram's wrist and jerked, trying to propell the skinny blonde into his arms. He slid his hand down to stroke the other's round ass. "I'm doing what I should have done when we first met. I should have kissed you, and touched you and fucked you every night until you screamed my name. But luckily, I can make up for that."
Okay, something was DEFINITELY wrong. Yuuri's words were making Wolfram blush, and that just..wasn't like Yuuri at all. But it wasn't as if Wolfram was going to give in. It was YUURI. He had just..temporarily lost his mind or something.
He jerked his hand away, eyes narrowed and posture stiff. "No, I'm afraid you can't. In case you've forgotten, I'm married. You lost."
Yuuri blinked at him and his eyes got all wide and sad. "You're telling me you don't...think of what could have been?" He edged closer and his fingers swept through Wolfram's blonde hair and down the back of his neck, tickling against blonde hairs. "What it would have been like?"
Wolfram closed his eyes, unable to keep a shiver from running down his spine. "I…" He began, his voice soft and not nearly as stern as it had been. "I'm married." And that was it. It didn't matter what he used to want or what he thought of. He was devoted and he would never do anything purposely to hurt his husband.
"And if you kiss me." He whispered, "you'll know that you made the right choice. You'll know that Murata was the one for you...and you won't have any more regrets." His hand began to undo Wolfram's uniform.
"W-what the hell kind of reasoning is that??" Wolfram yelled, pushing at Yuuri's chest, trying to get him to just STOP. "I'm not going to cheat on him! I love him! It..it would break his heart…"
"He doesn't need to know." Yuuri promised, his fingers continuing to carefully undo Wolfram's clothes. "It'll be our secret."
Wolfram lifted his hands, forcefully pulling Yuuri's away from his coat, which was now almost completely undone. "No. No it won't. I'd never do that to him."
Yuuri stepped forward until they were almost chest to chest again, trying to keep Wolfram pinned between him and the wall. His hand slid up to Wolfram's chest and began to make a circle around the nipple. "You've never, ever wondered? What it would have been like? You and me?"
Wolfram tried to step back and away but just hit the door, cursing softly to himself. He'd have to think of another escape route…but then Yuuri asked THAT question. He looked to the side, pushing Yuuri's hands away again. "…of course I have. It..I mean..I was in love with you. It wasn't anything I could help." He paused, turning his eyes to Yuuri's oddly dull ones. "But not anymore! So just..just let me go.."
"I still love you." Yuuri said, his eyes big and slightly gay. "I still think about you. I just want to know...what it would have been like...if..." He said, and he let his hand trail across Wolfram's face, down to rest on his shoulder. He brushed his lips lightly against the others.
Wolfram couldn't help but sigh softly. Now Yuuri was back to seeming normal, and he couldn't help but melt a little. How could he be mean to THAT? It was so sad and gay…
He turned his head to the side to break the kiss, his hands balling into fists at his sides. "It's over, Yuuri. I made my choice..and..you made yours too. With Shouri-heika, I mean."
Yuuri was considering hitting the dumbass over the head and then just taking what he wanted. It was obvious Wolfram wanted to do it, but no, he had to be all moral and annoying. Instead, he looked down and rubbed his foot back and forth across the carpet, trailing his fingers down Wolfram's chest. "You don't like me at all anymore, do you?"
Wolfram's eye twitched noticeably and he pressed himself further back against the door. "You know that's not true. I…I'd like to think that you're my best friend." Outside Murata, of course, but he didn't count.
"I don't mean that kind of like." Yuuri said gently, his hand straying farther down to cup Wolfram's package and rub it. "I mean, do you ever think about me inside you? Do you ever dream about me stroking you?" He said the last two words slowly, rubbing Wolfram through his pants with a gentle pressure.
Even he and Murata didn't speak like that to eachother…or not seriously, at least. Wolfram felt even his ears redden and he couldn't help but gasp at the pressure against his crotch, trying to stumble away but, once again, only hitting the stupid door. Damn it D:
"I..I u-used to. But n-not anymore!" Wolfram protested, pushing away Yuuri's hand lightly. Not too hard or harsh or else the maou might start crying and then Wolfram would never forgive himself.
Yuuri looked at him and then placed his hand back and squeezed slowly, insistently. "Hey, Wolf." He said in Yuuri's friendly tone, like he might suddenly start talking about baseball. "Do I make you hard?"
"W-why are you asking me something like that! O-of course not! Only..only Murata…" Wolfram's protests were useless, though, as Yuuri could easily feel that he was lying. But this was going too far, and Wolfram had to stop it. He wrapped his fingers around Yuuri's wrist, tugging the other boy's hand away easily. "Stop this nonsense already.."
Yuuri shoved him against the wall roughly and kissed him. The kiss was gentle, like a lover's, his lips nuzzling softly at Wolfram's. "No." He said, pulling back and whispering into the blonde's ear. "I want you. I dream about you. I want to be inside you, I want to make love to you, Wolf." He said, his voice hot and somewhere between pleading and demanding. "I want to know what you look like when you come. I want you to scream harder than you've ever screamed."
Why was Yuuri suddenly doing this? It really made no sense to Wolfram…but at that moment, he couldn't think well enough to try and get to the bottom of it. No, first he had to get Yuuri to stop. Aah, but Yuuri was still a good kisser, it seemed…
Wolfram lingered a bit longer than he should have, simply for his own benefit, before he jerked his head away, hitting it against the door in the process and cursing softly. But he didn't have long to think about the bruise that was probably forming, because Yuuri was whispering naughty words into his ear and he was blushing even more.
"Y-Yuuri.." He began, voice now shaky and body throbbing. "Those are things that are reserved f-for my husband. You know that. So..s-so stop…"
Yuuri's finger found Wolfram's nipple again and rubbed it gently to hardness. "No." He said simply and took Wolfram's lips again, the kiss more forceful, this time, more demanding.
Okay, now this was crossing into dangerous territory. Wolfram had tried gentle negotiation, and it didn't seem to be getting him anywhere, so when Yuuri leaned forward for another kiss he placed his hands on the demon king's shoulders and shoved hard, trying to propel the other boy back far enough to knock some sense into him.
Yuuri's stumbled backward and for a minute, his eyes flashed black, but then he seemed to regain himself. "You're aroused." He said, looking at Wolfram. "And so am I." Indeed, Yuuri's peen was hard in his black pants. "You want me. I know you think about it. I think about you, Wolf. I think about you all the time. You're in my system, in my blood." Very poetic for Yuuri. "You're like a disease...and its only cure." Apparently, apart from channeling pure evil, he was channeling the maou.
Wolfram looked ashamed for a moment. He had to give Yuuri that. His body certainly wasn't saying no…but he was and that should have been enough. Afterall, he always had an erection. It wasn't anything he could really control.
"You..you have Shouri-heika. Go and find him if you're just physically needy." Wolfram mumbled, his hand sliding up and trying to be inconspicuous as it headed for the handle of the door. If anything, he could make a quick escape.
Yuuri stepped forward and caught his hand. "I'm not just physically needy. I don't want Shouri." He said forcefully. His hand cupped Wolfram's cheek. "I want you. I'm not afraid to say it any longer, Wolfram." His voice got soft, tender. "I want you."
Damn it. He had been caught D: Wolfram couldn't stand to look into those big, sad eyes so he looked to the side and down at the floor, as if there was something interesting down there. "It doesn't matter. It's over. It's..been over. You know that."
"And...I don't want to start it up again. But.." His voice got sad and gay. "Couldn't we have this? Just this one time? For...what could have been?"
Wolfram felt absolutely horrible about it, but something inside him wanted it. Wanted to finally get it over with. His body had been aching for it for years and had never been satisfied. But he was far too in control of himself to just let himself go. "No, we can't." He stated, voice soft but firm.
Yuuri edged closer, seeming to sense that something in Wolfram wanted what he was offering. His hand slid up to Wolfram's chest, just resting over his heart. "Please, Wolf." He said softly. "Then it will be better. Easier for both of us. We'll both know we're with the right people...and...and...we can just...get on with our lives without having to think about what could have been."
It was tempting, it really was. If only because what Yuuri was saying kind of made sense, because Wolfram was dumb sometimes…but he still shook his head. “Just stop this, okay? It would only make things worse and you know it.”
Yuuri shook his head. "I won't. I can't stop thinking about you...about how beautiful you are...and what an idiot I was to have missed it." His fingers stroked through Wolfram's soft blonde hair.
"But you did miss it, Yuuri." Wolfram continued to argue, though his voice was soft. "You missed it and now the opportunity's gone and that's it. So..stop this? Please?" He really didn't want to have to physically hurt the other boy..
Yuuri stared at him. "I thought...I mean...when you didn't come around anymore, I thought it was because you felt the same way I did...but I guess..." He looked at Wolfram with tears in his eyes. "Do you hate me?"
Oh God, now he was going to cry. Wolfram felt his heart tug hard and he couldn't help but let his guard down, his arms hanging limply at his sides and his head lowered. "I..I could never hate you, Yuuri. You're very, very important to me."
"But you never want to be around me." Yuuri pressed his advantage, edging closer again.
"Well..probably because of how things were left between us. Not to mention..I mean...there still is a sort of tension, but that's not anything that can be helped." Oh, he was falling into the trap.
Yuuri privately exulted in his smart. "Yes, there is." He said insistently. He pressed himself close to Wolfram but didn't do any peen touching yet.
"Maybe there is.." Wolfram began, aware that Yuuri was getting closer. "But..but this isn't it. This will make it all much worse. I know it."
"No, no, it won't...I just want what we would have. Our one wedding night."
"Yuuri..if we would've gotten married, there would've been way more than just one night." Wolfram added snarkily.
"Well, we aren't. We're never going to be." Yuuri said, his hand stealing down to play at front of Wolfram's pants, fingers rubbing at the bulge lightly.
"Because it's o-over.." Wolfram's voice wavered on the last word and he tried to step to the side, pushing at Yuuri's hand again. "So..so stop."
Yuuri followed him like they were doing some kind of 'chase Wolfram's peen' dance. His hand became more forceful. "No. I want you. I love you." He said, like a real man.
And it was then that it was really driven home to Wolfram that something was wrong with Yuuri...and the first thing he thought to do was reach a hand out and press it to Yuuri's forehead, checking for a fever.
Yuuri took the opportunity to reach his hand down Wolfram's pants and check his peen for a fever. Or something. He did feel hot and flushed but that was probably because he was aroused.
"A-ah!" Wolfram cried out suddenly, jerking his hand away and using it instead to tug Yuuri's hand out of his pants. "Don't..d-don't touch me there you..you...imposter!" ..because that was the best explanation he could think of for Yuuri's sudden personality change.
Yuuri looked hurt. "Wolf?...What are you talking about?" He said.
"You! You're acting really really strange!" Wolfram pointed an accusing finger.
"Why?! Its not like this is a surprise. Its not like this is...a...a..anything. You know I want you... I just..." He sniffled and looked gay.
"But Yuuri's too much of a wimp to do this all of a sudden." Wolfram stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I am not!" Yuuri stomped his foot, then looked down. "You called me a wimp."
Wolfram smiled slightly at that. "That's because you are. So stop all of this and we'll go and find Giesela to fix you."
"I don't want to be fixed." He grabbed Wolfram and kissed him, his lips forceful and hungry against the blondes. "There's nothing wrong with me, except you."
Wolfram jerked out of the kiss as soon as his train of thought caught up with him. Fortunately, Yuuri was not Shinou, so Wolfram could push him around if need be. "I'm not going to let you do this."
Yuuri started to say something, and then he shook his head. "Fine. I'm sorry... I just thought..." He sat down, pulling his knees to his chest, a single tear going down his cheek. "I'm sorry, Wolf."
"You thought what?" Wolfram asked softly, unable to keep himself from kneeling next to the crying boy. He was still his friend, afterall. "That I would cheat for you?"
"I thought that you loved me..."
"I do love you, Yuuri." Wolfram reassured, reaching out to gently pat Yuuri's back. "But...I love Murata, too."
"I don't want to hurt Ken!!" He looked up at Wolfram. "I just want to...kiss you.." He was pitiful.
Wolfram sighed deeply. "But kissing me hurts him. You can't have one without the other."
"It doesn't. Murata doesn't have to know...this isn't about him, or Shou-chan, Wolf. Its about me and you. Its about what we want...maybe even...what we need." Dramatic sappy music played in the background.
Wolfram paused then shook his head before he could even began honestly considering the offer. "It isn't worth it, Yuuri."
Yuuri looked down. "You mean I'm not worth it." He corrected.
"If you're trying to gauge your importance to me against Murata's...then you're right. At least when it comes to something like this." Wolfram stated plainly.
Yuuri just stared at the ground. "I don't want to get between you and Ken." He said. It sounded more like, 'I'm just going to kill myself now, okay?'
"Then why are you doing this? I mean...you'll live without me. I'm..I'm not that good anyway." Wolfram was lying through his teeth on the last part because he knew that he was awesome..because he was Wolfram.
"Because I love you. Because I want to know that we made the right choice and I want to stop thinking about...about wanting you every time we're in the same room together." Yuuri made a speech.
"This won't fix that. It'll only ruin my marriage, your relationship with your brother, and we won't be able to stand being in the same room with eachother because it'll be so incredibly awkward."
"No it won't!" Yuuri said. The blonde wasn't as blond as he looked, he thought with disgust. He stood up and took Wolfram by the shoulders, looking into his eyes, stroking Wolfram's chest lightly. "Don't you want to know? Aren't you even the least bit curious?"
"I'm not going to lie..." Wolfram looked to the side, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment. "I've always been a little curious, but not nearly enough to ruin my life for it." Because he and Murata had been living ridiculously comfortably with eachother and it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon.
"It won't! I promise. Ken and Shouri won't know. You think I would risk losing nii-chan again?"
Wolfram lifted his head to meet Yuuri's eyes with his own. "...maybe you can live with the guilt, Yuuri, but I can't."
Yuuri thought that he could probably live with the guilt better than he could live with the internal hemorrhaging that was about to result. He was getting sick of this game.
But he wasn't giving up, damn it. He reached over to rub Wolfram's peen again, enjoying seeing him squirm. "Can you live with us being so awkward, with never knowing how we would have been? What you wanted for so long, Wolf, when I was too stupid to notice?"
And Yuuri was rewarded a moment later with a squirming Wolfram, though he squirmed away rather than towards the wandering hand. "...I can live with that more than I can with the guilt of having lied to and cheated on my husband."
"You lied and cheated on me!" He snapped. Where was the guilt over that?
Wolfram twitched once. Twice. Three times a lady. That...was true. "But.." He began, voice shaky now. "We weren't..married...or even really committed at that point...."
"You said you were my fiance." Yuuri pressed, his hands sliding to Wolfram's shoulders. "You said you loved me." He murmured, pressing closer to Wolfram, dark eyes blazing.
Oh, hey, this was fun too.
"I..I was..b-but you never wanted me anyway..." Wolfram didn't sound quite so sure of himself anymore and his mind was working on overload, preventing him from really trying to slide away. "You told me you'd never marry a man. You rejected me constantly."
Yuuri kissed him gently. "I'm not rejecting you now." He said pointedly.
Bipolar Yuuri. In stores everywhere.
Wolfram shook his head forcefully to get away from the kiss. "But you missed your chance! It's done! Gone!"
"I tried! I got you...strawberries...and candles and rose petals!"
"...when it was already over, yes."
"I didn't know it was over. I thought...I thought I could make it all right. I thought we would be all right.."
"We are all right." Wolfram mumbled, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. "Or we're getting there."
Yuuri kissed him again. "No, we're not. I'm not..." He ran his hand down Wolfram's warm stomach.
And Wolfram pulled away, once again. "But you will be. In time."
Yuuri pulled away. "Watching you and Murata be happy together."
"And being happy with Shouri-heika." Wolfram reminded him.
"I love Shouri...I just have to know...I mean, if you and I...you can't tell me you don't want me, Wolfram!"
"And what if it was amazing, Yuuri? Then what? It'd be even worse because we'd both know that it could never happen again, that's what!" Wolfram was getting slightly annoyed.
"At least we could say we knew! At least we both would have gotten what we wanted..."
"But what if it's the absolute best sex ever and we want more, hm?" Wolfram seriously doubted that it would be, but still!
Yuuri frowned. "It won't be if you really love Murata because sex is always better with the person you love than the person you don't."
"But...what I'm saying is that..." What Wolfram was saying was that he was afraid that it would be amazing and he would start doubting his and Murata's relationship..but of course he didn't say this. "I'm saying that I don't want to take that chance."
"You really love Murata, right? And I really love Shou-chan"
"Of course I do! And that's why...I don't want to do this." It made sense to Wolfram.
Yuuri leaned forward and slid his hand down to cup Wolfram's crotch in his hand. "If you love him, why are you hard?" He taunted.
Wolfram's eye twitched and he looked guilty as he squirmed around. "B-because I'm young and I can't help it. The wind blowing gets me hard." ..it was true, sadly.
Yuuri chuckled and squeezed his crotch. "Does the wind do that?"
"...it doesn't have to." Wolfram squirmed more, looking away, his cheeks heating up.
Yuuri unbuttoned Wolfram's pants. "Let me help you with that." He said quietly.
"No!!" Wolfram squeaked and scooted backwards across the floor, his hands moving to button his pants back up. "I told you not to touch there!"
Yuuri caught him by the wrist and smiled. "You want me." He said simply.
"It doesn't matter if I do or not!" Wolfram protested, jerking his wrist back.
Yuuri moved to try and shove Wolfram against the wall so they were body to body, blue eyes meeting green. "Say you want me." He said, his voice still soft, still sweet still Yuuri's.
Once again, Yuuri wasn't much bigger than Wolfram so it wasn't hard for him to push the other boy away, shaking his head. "I won't. I'm leaving, Yuuri." And he started moving to stand.
Yuuri stared after him for a minute. This wasn't fun at all. "Fine! I hate you!" Then, just because some part of him was still Yuuri, "I won't play baseball with you!"
Wolfram paused, looking down at his lap sadly. "..you really hate me? Just because of that?"
"Yes." Yuuri said, glaring at the floor and being emo.
"...Yuuri would never hate anyone." Wolfram stated plainly, eyeing the other boy. "So once again, I'm wondering just who you are."
"If it makes you feel better to think I'm not Yuuri, go ahead." Yuuri said.
"It's not a thought. I KNOW that you're not him." Wolfram crossed his arms over his chest, looking defiant.
Yuuri sighed. "Uh-huh. Right." Okay, so he wasn't, but he wasn't going to admit that to..some really gay thing. "I'm his evil impostor from...mars."
"From where?" Wolfram tilted his head, looking confused.
"Its a planet...near Earth...oh, forget it. Go..bake a bundt cake with Murata or something."
Wolfram paused, an eyebrow lifting slowly. "Are you...the maou?" Because only the maou did the bundt cake thing...right?
"...No, I'm not the maou! I'm Yuuri Shibuya Harajuki Fuuri!!"
Wolfram nodded slowly. "Sure you are..." Obviously, he was being sarcastic.
Yuuri nodded. "That's right. I told you, didn't I?"
Hah, see he was acting stupid to trick Wolfram. He was so smart.
"..I suppose so." Wolfram sighed, buttoning his shirt and zipping his coat back up. "..I just hope that in time, you change your mind."
"...Hey...Wolf..I didn't really mean...that I hated you." Yes he did.
Wolfram's hand halted on the zipper. "I'm glad. Because I certainly don't hate you."
"Really? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"It's okay." Wolfram smiled softly and reached a hand over to pat Yuuri's shoulder.
Yuuri smiled at him. "I'm glad you're happy with Murata." He said.
"Do you really mean that?" Wolfram's smile had already widened.
Yuuri grinned. "Yeah. I want you two to be happy. And I'll be happy with Shouri. I promise, Wolf." Except not.
"I'm glad to hear you say that." Wolfram finished zipping up his jacket then leaned over to give Yuuri a kiss on his forehead. That was appropriate, right?
Yuuri blushed dumbly and thought about all the ways he was going to ruin Wolfram's life.
Wolfram stood after, finishing zipping up his coat and adjusting himself in his pants. Yeah..the erection wasn't comfortable, but it would go away. "Would you like to come and eat some breakfast with me?" He offered gayly.
"Uh, Gunter wanted me to run some errands...something about a scroll."
"A scroll?" Wolfram tilted his head again, looking rapeable. "Anything I could help with?"
Yuuri stood up and smiled. "No." He said. "You should go...be with Murata."
"Oh I'm sure he's busy with something or other at the moment. And I'm technically supposed to be on duty. I'd much rather hang around you than stand around in the hallway for a few more hours." Wolfram was trying so hard to make it seem like everything was okay.
Yuuri sighed. Was there no way to ditch Wolfram? Well, he supposed..."Yeah, sure, why don't we go look for it together in the basement?"
Wolfram's eye twitched a bit. "Aren't there servants for that?" Really. Digging around in the dirty, old basement? Not a job for a king.
"Not if Gunter's involved, no."
"Ah, I see. Either way...it's better than duty." Wolfram shrugged then extended a hand to help Yuuri stand.
Yuuri pulled himself up and smiled at him. "Follow me." He said, and then walked down the hall, grinning creepily.
Wolfram followed close behind, eyeing Yuuri's back curiously. If he stayed with him, maybe this imposter or whatever wouldn't get into too much trouble. Or maybe he could figure out how to fix him.
Yuuri lead him into the basement. "Here, you look over there and I'll look over here." He said, pointing to piles of scrolls.
"..alright." Wolfram agreed, already bored..but he had offered so he had to help and blah blah blah. He wandered over to the pile and started sorting through them. "So what am I looking for exactly?"
"Um, some scroll having to do with the great sage's wedding." Yuuri said, finding a heavy urn.
"Oooohhh..." Wolfram sounded much more interested now. Afterall, it had to do with him :D
Yuuri nodded. "Yeah, its cool." He snuck up behind Wolfram and swung the urn at the gay thing's head.
And, because Wolfram wasn't looking and had let his guard down a bit, the urn made direct contact with the back of his skull, causing him to gasp and fall forward, vision swimming.
Yuuri hit him again, giggling a little insanely, like the Joker. Or someone who wasn't in Batman comics.
And then Wolfram was out.
Yuuri tied him up and walked off whistling.