Mapp vs Crusader Kings 2: Socotra
Socotra is one of the newly playable places in Crusader Kings 2 after the glorious map expansion as part of their latest piece of downloadable content. I'm not usually a fan of DLC, but the larger ones for Crusader Kings 2 are weighty enough that they would probably have been called "expansions" if this was the 1990s. The other reason I don't mind it quite so much? You don't need it to play with all of the new stuff. Sure, if you want to play a Buddhist, Hindu or Jainist (is that the right word?) leader, you'll need it. But there's a whole swathe of Africa and the Middle East opened up for free. Oh, and there's a bucket load of mechanic changes, tweaks, historical revisions and events. And that's awesome.
Socotra in 867 is an interesting position. Your neighbours on the mainland aren't particularly friendly towards you, on account of your Nestorian faith, and whoever is gunning for the title of King of Arabia will have their sights set on the island at some point. The change to diplomacy means that you can no longer conduct diplomacy on a global scale at the beginning of the game; the only people that the court of Emir Denha can talk to are his angry neighbours. Suggestions that they send over their Muslim daughters so they can marry a Christian Emir don't go down well. There is one lady in court who isn't related to the Emir, so they promptly get married. It was a lovely ceremony, I'm sure.
There's a loading screen message which suggests it's worth checking the traits of your wife. Checking traits is very important. I didn't notice that the new Emir's wife was chaste until after the marriage. Then again, I spectacularly failed to notice that the Emir was chaste as well. The Nestorian faith does allow for divorce, but I figured I'd flirt with disaster for a while and see what happens. Maybe they'll manage to produce an heir, and they'll go on to improve relations with the mainland? Half a year after the wedding, the Emir's wife is pregnant. One healthy child is all I'm asking for - this generation is in trouble, but the future of Socotra might still be salvageable.
On his sixtieth birthday, Emir Denha becomes known as "Emir Denha the Chaste". He has seven children. He dies, aged sixty three, while making love to his wife. Rest in peace, my ironically titled Emir. Your seven progeny shall surely carry the torch forwards together, working for a better life and a more prosperous island nation.
The eldest son of the first Emir lasted a while; he changed Socotra to an elective duchy, raised taxes and nominated his sister to be the next in line. With my neighbours still jealously eyeing up the island, it was diplomatically isolated. The children of the first Emir were growing older and having children of their own, who were now being betrothed to one another. Cousins were marrying cousins. Who needs those other people, with their funny religious ways anyway, huh? As long as the ruling dynasty of Socotra could continue to churn out children in the same way the first of their dynasty did, they'd never need to look beyond their borders again. The second Emir died, quite possibly at the hand of somebody who saw where this was going, and the new Emira stepped forward. Emira Samira has an interesting life indeed.
Being an island territory in the early game of Crusader Kings 2 can be tricky, because the production and maintenance of large fleets of galleys is prohibitively expensive. Any dreams I have of raising mercenaries to carve out a Kingdom on the mainland are scuppered by a fleet of ships that can carry a few hundred men at most, which isn't enough to successfully lay siege to anywhere whatsoever. Fortunately enough, however, this isolation offers a huge amount of defence. My neighbours begin to declare holy wars against the Emira, amassing massive armies that stand on the coast line and angrily shake their fists at the island. Their galleys can only carry a few hundred men at a time, which are easily cut down by the two thousand strong Holy Order of St Addai, who are more than happy to rush in to defend this bastion of the faith. In order to cut down on the number of unruly brothers that the Emira has, she suggests a bunch of them join the Order. There's the obligatory marriage between the Emira and her cousin, and more marriages are arranged between cousins, as the family tree of the Yahballaha dynasty begins to curl in on itself.
That's when it turns out the Court Chaplain of Socotra is a heretic. He approaches the Emira and tries to convert her to this heretical faith. I read up what it involves, and immediately accept. Emira Samira converts to the Messalian sect.
The Messalians, or Euchites ("Those who Pray"), are a heretical Christian sect that originated in Mesopotamia, influenced by dualistic faiths like Zoroastrianism. Messalians believe that God can be perceived by the carnal senses, and that this perception is necessary to reach perfection. Each person is born with an inner demon, and only intense prayer can drive it out. They also believe that Lucifer is the elder son of God and a force for good, and that incest is sacred since it was practiced by the children of and Adam and Eve. They have no formal rites and no strict church hierarchy.
With everyone already engaged to their cousins, it perhaps wasn't too surprising that this heresy spread so easily throughout Incest Island. The Emira promptly had her husband assassinated, then proceeded to have herself betrothed to marry her own son, who she also nominated as the successor to the title of Emir. Those that wouldn't switch faith were bribed and asked again. Those that still wouldn't budge were shipped off to join a holy order, imprisoned, or simply ignored. At one particularly low point, a pair of twins were born to the family, and were immediately betrothed to one another. New children were being born with the "inbred" trait. Incest Island (formally known as "Socotra") was going to crash, and it was going to crash hard, but I became curious about just how badly it would all end. The Emira's son came of age, and they got married.
The end looked like it would come from outside. The wars on the mainland saw three powers emerge on top, and each of them had designs on taking away Incest Island. The first and second Emirs fought holy wars to defend their island home from the infidels, backed up by the military might of the Order of Saint Addai. Emira Samira was a heretic, and there was no order of brave knights to come to her rescue. When the seventh Holy War for Incest Island broke out, things were looking bleak. The silver lining was that one of the Emira's brothers who we had shipped off to join the Order was still in on good terms with the Emira, and came to defend their island birthplace as an ally. Friends in high places, right? Right. The crisis was averted, but the Emira became stressed out and unwell after the war, and the wars that followed.
When the stress got too much, and she finally passed away, her son-husband immediately married his young aunt. Everyone in court, along with the population of the island, have converted to the Messalian heresy. Incest Island continues.
Socotra in 867 is an interesting position. Your neighbours on the mainland aren't particularly friendly towards you, on account of your Nestorian faith, and whoever is gunning for the title of King of Arabia will have their sights set on the island at some point. The change to diplomacy means that you can no longer conduct diplomacy on a global scale at the beginning of the game; the only people that the court of Emir Denha can talk to are his angry neighbours. Suggestions that they send over their Muslim daughters so they can marry a Christian Emir don't go down well. There is one lady in court who isn't related to the Emir, so they promptly get married. It was a lovely ceremony, I'm sure.
There's a loading screen message which suggests it's worth checking the traits of your wife. Checking traits is very important. I didn't notice that the new Emir's wife was chaste until after the marriage. Then again, I spectacularly failed to notice that the Emir was chaste as well. The Nestorian faith does allow for divorce, but I figured I'd flirt with disaster for a while and see what happens. Maybe they'll manage to produce an heir, and they'll go on to improve relations with the mainland? Half a year after the wedding, the Emir's wife is pregnant. One healthy child is all I'm asking for - this generation is in trouble, but the future of Socotra might still be salvageable.
On his sixtieth birthday, Emir Denha becomes known as "Emir Denha the Chaste". He has seven children. He dies, aged sixty three, while making love to his wife. Rest in peace, my ironically titled Emir. Your seven progeny shall surely carry the torch forwards together, working for a better life and a more prosperous island nation.
The eldest son of the first Emir lasted a while; he changed Socotra to an elective duchy, raised taxes and nominated his sister to be the next in line. With my neighbours still jealously eyeing up the island, it was diplomatically isolated. The children of the first Emir were growing older and having children of their own, who were now being betrothed to one another. Cousins were marrying cousins. Who needs those other people, with their funny religious ways anyway, huh? As long as the ruling dynasty of Socotra could continue to churn out children in the same way the first of their dynasty did, they'd never need to look beyond their borders again. The second Emir died, quite possibly at the hand of somebody who saw where this was going, and the new Emira stepped forward. Emira Samira has an interesting life indeed.
Being an island territory in the early game of Crusader Kings 2 can be tricky, because the production and maintenance of large fleets of galleys is prohibitively expensive. Any dreams I have of raising mercenaries to carve out a Kingdom on the mainland are scuppered by a fleet of ships that can carry a few hundred men at most, which isn't enough to successfully lay siege to anywhere whatsoever. Fortunately enough, however, this isolation offers a huge amount of defence. My neighbours begin to declare holy wars against the Emira, amassing massive armies that stand on the coast line and angrily shake their fists at the island. Their galleys can only carry a few hundred men at a time, which are easily cut down by the two thousand strong Holy Order of St Addai, who are more than happy to rush in to defend this bastion of the faith. In order to cut down on the number of unruly brothers that the Emira has, she suggests a bunch of them join the Order. There's the obligatory marriage between the Emira and her cousin, and more marriages are arranged between cousins, as the family tree of the Yahballaha dynasty begins to curl in on itself.
That's when it turns out the Court Chaplain of Socotra is a heretic. He approaches the Emira and tries to convert her to this heretical faith. I read up what it involves, and immediately accept. Emira Samira converts to the Messalian sect.
The Messalians, or Euchites ("Those who Pray"), are a heretical Christian sect that originated in Mesopotamia, influenced by dualistic faiths like Zoroastrianism. Messalians believe that God can be perceived by the carnal senses, and that this perception is necessary to reach perfection. Each person is born with an inner demon, and only intense prayer can drive it out. They also believe that Lucifer is the elder son of God and a force for good, and that incest is sacred since it was practiced by the children of and Adam and Eve. They have no formal rites and no strict church hierarchy.
With everyone already engaged to their cousins, it perhaps wasn't too surprising that this heresy spread so easily throughout Incest Island. The Emira promptly had her husband assassinated, then proceeded to have herself betrothed to marry her own son, who she also nominated as the successor to the title of Emir. Those that wouldn't switch faith were bribed and asked again. Those that still wouldn't budge were shipped off to join a holy order, imprisoned, or simply ignored. At one particularly low point, a pair of twins were born to the family, and were immediately betrothed to one another. New children were being born with the "inbred" trait. Incest Island (formally known as "Socotra") was going to crash, and it was going to crash hard, but I became curious about just how badly it would all end. The Emira's son came of age, and they got married.
The end looked like it would come from outside. The wars on the mainland saw three powers emerge on top, and each of them had designs on taking away Incest Island. The first and second Emirs fought holy wars to defend their island home from the infidels, backed up by the military might of the Order of Saint Addai. Emira Samira was a heretic, and there was no order of brave knights to come to her rescue. When the seventh Holy War for Incest Island broke out, things were looking bleak. The silver lining was that one of the Emira's brothers who we had shipped off to join the Order was still in on good terms with the Emira, and came to defend their island birthplace as an ally. Friends in high places, right? Right. The crisis was averted, but the Emira became stressed out and unwell after the war, and the wars that followed.
When the stress got too much, and she finally passed away, her son-husband immediately married his young aunt. Everyone in court, along with the population of the island, have converted to the Messalian heresy. Incest Island continues.