The Celebrity Whore Once Again Does Burbank - Feb 2013, Day Two
Dateline: Saturday
I've got a Golden TIiiiicket for Creation's Grand Slam.
Once I'm parked at a hotel, I don't leave it, even if the food is too expensive. But you can charge it to the room, so I admit that I splurge. Besides, I like the breakfast buffet and do not like Denny's. The egg guy is a talker, and like everyone living in L.A., either is or wants to be in "The Industry." It's like everyone in Orange County either currently working for Disney, having worked for Disney, or knowing at least a dozen people who've Served the Mouse. I myself have tried to Serve the Mouse in recent years, but to entirely no avail. In my youth I had zero desire to Serve the Mouse. In my adulthood, lots. So yes, I have been aging in reverse. Nanu nanu!
But enough about me!
Levar Burton and Michael Dorn opened the show, and realized that it was their sacred duty to set the tone for the rest of the day. They fought valiantly and won! Highlights: Levar teaching us the "Reading Rainbow" song. Levar trying and failing to imitate Michael, so Michael stepped in and saved the day with his own "I am NOT a Merry Man!" Speaking of which, Michael didn't enjoy the TNG Robin Hood episode, and Levar gave him grief for wrecking his lute. They both saw Animal House, right? Right? They made extended sport of the worst TNG episode, "Code of Honor." Levar described it as "Planet of the Black People," and it went downhill from there. Michael described silliness between shots where he'd monologue from above/behind Patrick Stewart, in his Captain's Chair, about "death coming from above with... A BANANA!" or whatever he happened to have nearby for killing "the king." Good times had by all.
Catherine Hicks, who's some sort of supernatural being impervious to the aging process, happily fielded questions about the whale movie, 7th Heaven and Child's Play. I did not know that she married Kevin Yagher, creator of Chuckie and other fun movie horror icons. Oh, yeah, that Fred Krueger guy, too. The awesome part is that Catherine oozes perkiness. And is 62 and looks 35!! Now I wonder if their house is half horror movie props and makeup, and half pastels and fresh-picked flowers. 7th Heaven ran for 11 years. Amazing. I watched the first episode and couldn't take its un-ironic cuteness. Now one of the younger girls - or youngest? - had her first kid recently, so it's all good, I think.
Did not see Jasika Nicole's (Fringe) talk. My plan was to get lunch, but that didn't work, either. I saw the doodles at her signing table, though, Some quirky artwork, most of it self-portrait. It's all about the hair, baby.
There was an extremely long line for the TNG cast photo, of which I did not partake. I saw my con-buddy Bob in line for it, though. But Sir Patrick Stewart's was right afterwards, and his line might have been just as long. Both lines pored into the hotel annex and would have caused any fire marshal an instant aneurysm. I chatted with queuemates, and a fellow dressed in a costume from the original Trek's "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" decided to take our picture. We weren't actually in costumes, but okay! Another guy who looked set-ready in his own TNG costume had somehow been drafted into helping the volunteers with queue duty.
I was really looking forward to talking His Lordship into joining me in a Scrooge-like, point-and-scowl at the camera, but he refused. "No, no, no. That's not me." My heart sank, but the shot turned out well.
How's this for irony: James Marsters was the Grand Slam's original headliner. I used to be a major Buffy fan. Like, as far as thinking up fanfiction. For me, that's major. I still considered him to be the headliner. And yet Creation conspired to schedule his talk, his photo ops, and any autograph times entirely against other events that I also wanted to attend. The moral of the story is that the only evidence I saw for the entire weekend of his presence was other people's photos of him in the photo op room. I never saw his Q&A, couldn't make any photo op, and am uncertain if he was ever in the dealer's room, but other people had pics with him. Also, his autographs and pics were really expensive, so there's that.
Creation was quite cagey regarding when Knight of the Round Table Pizza Sir Patrick Stewart would be signing. Finally word got around that it would be 1:15. See, that's what kept me from James Marsters' talk. No doubt many other people, because his line was at least several hundred people deep. I arrived at what I thought was "early," but was back almost the entire depth of the hotel, right at an employee entrance that I discovered was used as the secret passageway for con guests. So we got to see folks like Levar and Jasika and Marina Sirtis escorted through the area. Eventually the line was divided according to ticket status. That is, VIP holders - and I have no idea how those are sold and for how much and what they entail - were first, then Gol-den Tiiiiiick-et people like me, and then the peasants.
What?
Anyway, the line length necessitated assembly-line signage, or in the case of Sir Patrick, probably a hand cramp to rule them all. I had brought a DVD of his TV-movie version of A Christmas Carol. I had seen him perform it live twice and admired his work. He's done some other cool stuff, too, though.
Returned tiredly to my hotel room and hung out there until Patrick the First came onstage to speak. And the guy next to me, who'd also bought a Golden Tiiiicket but never took his seat, finally made an appearance. There are people who do that. Buy Gold and/or VIP passes just to see one or two guests. I considered asking Patrick a question, but both microphone lines were long before he was introduced.
How can I sum up his talk, really? He's not a jokester and speaks as eloquently as one would expect. Someone asked about being knighted, and he described it as very moving and emotional. Rehearsed, too, of course, so I guess it's a lot like a wedding. Stand here, say these words, etc. I can't really describe myself as anti-royalty, because that would be hypocritical - actors are stand-ins for royalty in the U.S. - but I couldn't help thinking of other artists who were offered, but turned down, knighthoods. I believe that Mick Jagger was one. It would go against his whole anti-authority stance over the years, of course. But Sir Patrick obviously did not turn down his OBE and may yet take up arms for Queen and Country. Anyway, Sir Patrick and Sir Ian McKellan will be reunited onstage for NY performances of Waiting for Godot and No Man's Land, and be joined by two unnamed American actors. Apparently both plays are going to be performed on the same days with the same cast for a length of time, if not their entire run. So... watch Godot in the morning and NML in the evening? I believe that's the plan. I hope they all have the stamina for it! The two Sirs are in their 70's, you know.
The guy who had the seat next to mine and had made an appearance for Sir Patrick, then left.
A vampire, a werewolf, and a psychic hunter walk onto a stage... Sam Witwer (Being Human), Tyler Posey (Teen Wolf) and Steven McQueen (Vampire Diaries) fielded questions. If you're curious, the most-to-least questions asked followed that same order. Poor Steven. But he's the grandson of the Steve McQueen, so he's got that legacy to live down. I enjoyed Sam's description of the Smallville set as "Land of the Giants." Having to crane his neck to talk to Tom Welling, aka Clark.
If I'd known how "adorkable" that Tyler was for his photo ops, I'd have gotten one, but I don't watch Teen Wolf but do watch Being Human, so Sam Witwer had the honor and privilege of standing next to me for a photographic memory. Er, anyway, while I was trying to think of some cool way to pose, the woman ahead of me got a fake vampire bite from him, so as she was leaving and he was saying hello, I pointed at her and said, "I want what she had!" Mr. Witwer obliged. I made what I thought was a "shocked" look. When I got the picture later, I was once again reminded how terrible an actress I am. I looked like I was in unimaginable agony from the worst combination of hemorrhoids and constipation in the history of rectal discomfort.
I don't remember if I managed to snag a dinner before the big TNG Reunion "Performance" Extravaganza planned a mere hour later. Also, this means Dateline: Saturday will be in two posts, because I have both the Extravaganza and Cocktail Party to cover... whether you want to read about either event or not!!!