Agatha H. and the Fair Dinkum Blue - Part 2

[maramcc]

Part 1 is here!

What: a fanfiction for Girl Genius, featuring my literary stand-in and stunt double Mara
Time: continuing right after The Pauper Princess and the Way of the Trilobite.

The story so far!
--Our Merry Heroes are on their merry way to War down under.

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Legal disclaimer stuff:
"This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."
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The Pauper Princess Fanfiction Theatre Presents:
Agatha H. and the Fair Dinkum Blue - Part 2!


Franz the family dragon was more excited about his new flying harness than the two Sparks assembling it for him. Whenever he thought it had been fastened securely, he lurched towards the hangar doors. Finally Her Ladyship Most High told him in no uncertain terms that he was to wait for the "go" signal.

The harness was a set of enormous wings of light, but indestructible, metal. It was fitted to conform to Franz' own wings, and once in place could be fully retracted or expanded using his own muscles. It was not expected to be necessary for him to flap; rockets powered by self-sustaining batteries would provide the thrust. Around his chest were simple controls for adjusting the thrust and its output. He had also been supplied with armor of the same metal for his shoulders, knees and elbows. Last of all, he and Agatha each wore a headset fitted with a receiver and transmitter. Mara switched his on for him. He and Agatha went through a brief, successful test of their communicators. All was ready.

Agatha and Mara stepped back to give Franz room to test the fit, movement, and controls. He hopped around; he wiggled and jiggled and shrugged and flapped his arms to try to dislodge any pieces. The lady Sparks traded smiles, and Agatha flipped the switch to open the hangar doors. The fleet was high enough to be among the clouds; at the moment it was difficult to tell if they were above land or water.

On hand for any assistance were ten of the Guildern Guardians, the men and women from Mara's kingdom who were outfitted in their own suits of the same metal. Their armor was fully enclosed and flew by virtue of boot and hand jets rather than wings. Their flight capabilities were already well-known. Their purpose for this test flight was to assist the dragon if needed.

Once the doors were open, Agatha gave the "go" signal. Franz wasted no time bounding his way to the exit. He leaped out! and then dropped like a stone. That is, until expanding the wings to their full length and kicking on the rockets. After some shuddering and unsteadiness, Franz adapted quickly to the aerodynamics of his new toy and streaked through the clouds like he'd been bor-- constructed to it. The Guildern Guardians kicked on their own rockets and followed.

After a minute of casual flying around the fleet, Franz decided to give his "escorts" a challenge, and led them through dives, climbs, spins, banks, and slaloms. The Guardians knew their suits well and kept up with his merry chase. Back on the flagship, Agatha and Mara held on to straps and peered from the edges of landing area for any sight of him. Half of the time the fliers were out of sight, only to blast past on the way to some other touchpoint.

"Franz, any problems with the harness?" said Agatha into her transmitter. "It looks like you're-"

"WORKING GREAT, MIST-" his voice blasted into her ear so loudly as to cause pain. She yanked off the headset, fiddled with its volume, and redonned the device.

"Sweet lightning," she muttered. "Uhh, good to know! You've got ten more seconds, then head back in!"

"Nooo, please, Mistress," he said. "How about I stay out here the rest of the trip?? I can do it!"

"If only you could," she said, "But we need you back at base. Return to base, Franz!"

Agatha's talkbox booped to indicate that someone was contacting her. She snapped it off her belt and switched on the screen. Gil's face popped up.

"Hello, Gil," said Agatha. "I'm a little busy at the moment. Could I-?"

"Just tell me those are yours outside," he said.

"What? Franz?" she said. "He's just testing something for me. You remember Franz, right?"

"Yes," was the icy response. "We're firm friends. You should've warned me first. My people were prepping to blast him and those other fliers from the sky."

"Sorry, sorry," said Agatha. "You'll be properly warned next time."

"Just don't let them crash into any of my ships," he said. "See you at lunch."

Both rulers clicked off their talkboxes. Agatha had not put hers away, when it booped at her again. She sighed and clicked it on. "Yes, Tarvek, they're mine, no need to-"

"Agatha-" said Mara, peering intently outside with a look of great concern.

"One moment."

"Is that Franz?" said Tarvek. "Those are all your people, yes? They're not Gil's-"

"Yes, it's just a test flight, you'll be warned next time, I'll-"

"Agatha!" yelled Mara an instant before kicking out her legs and pushing her flat to the ground. The talkbox flew from Agatha's hand and clattered along the floor. Mara pinned herself on top of Agatha to shield her. The tip of one of Franz's wings missed her head by centimeters as he shot into the hangar deck at full speed. The Guardians followed instantly, trying in vain to grab hold of the beast.

"Reverse thrust! Reverse thrust!" Mara yelled over the din of the rockets.

"Which button is that??" the dragon shouted to anyone who could answer. Too late, Franz's landing was stopped...by the wall entirely at the other end of the deck. He managed to retract the wings and tuck into a ball the instant before impact, and was now partially embedded in the wall. His wing harness and armor may have been indestructible, but the hangar walls were not. The Guardians were at his side immediately, tugging and pushing at any piece they could grab, and cutting away debris with their heat beams.

Mara jumped up and began running his way, then remembered to assist Agatha back to her feet and check her status - uninjured! - before racing off. Agatha snatched up her talkbox and followed, giving a rushed explanation to Tarvek along the way. "Just a minor hitch, nothing to worry about, we're fine, we're all fine here now, thank you! How are you?"

"Uh... Relieved, as long as you're fine," said Tarvek. "See you at lunch?"

"Wouldn't miss it!" >click<

Franz was also unharmed, but was annoyed by his graceless landing and requested another go at it. He was overruled by Her Ladyship. No damage to the harness was expected, but would be examined, anyway. The Guardians, having landed quite gracefully, requested and got permission to practice their aerial maneuvers some more. This time Agatha warned her co-rulers ahead of time.

Franz stared at the Princess as she assisted Agatha with removing the harness. "Mr. Franz," said Mara, "Do you have any comments or suggestions for us? Did you feel tired or overtaxed at any time?"

"No," he said. "It felt great. Your Highness."

"You looked great," said Agatha, smiling. "Don't worry; you'll have another chance at it. Perhaps after lunch? Mara, you'll be joining us?"

"Hm?" she said. "Oh, thank you, but I'm afraid that I'll be meeting with the Techmasters instead. Comparing notes and so on. You know, I finally remembered why Dr. Kratzenschnupp seemed so familiar to me. He and I... Well, we tried to work together before. Back when I was seeking other Sparks to help me revive Guildern's tech? Unfortunately, it didn't work out. Too many differences in opinions."

"And now here you are, working with him again," said Agatha. "Will this be a problem?"

"Ah," she said, considering her answer first. She shook her head. "I don't think so. I mean, I know so. After all, our work could mean life or death for our people. We have to work together."

"Good attitude," said Agatha. "Franz, we'll let you know when you can have another go at this, all right?"

"Yes, Mistress," he said. As the women turned to leave, he held up a finger. Er, claw. "Mistress: if I may?"

"Certainly. Do you need something?"

"Not exactly," he said. "I only wanted you to know that, even if you won't tell me, I know."

"That's... good to know?" said Agatha.

Franz rubbed his chin, then gestured quickly with his head towards Mara. "I know about her," he said. "The new kid. Look: I was made by Heterodynes. I serve the House of Heterodyne. I know one when I see one. Or smell one, anyway."

"Ah," said Agatha. It was her turn to rub her chin in thought. "Franz, you should understand that-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Your Ladyship," he said. "I just want you to know that I know."

"Um..." said Mara, fidgeting, as was her habit, "Mr. Franz, I would-We would... appreciate the utmost discretion on your part. In case there's any curiosity, we're cousins. Ah, third cousins. Discovered entirely by accident, I might add! But-but that particular lineage about me is not- common knowledge."

"Sure, sure," he said. "It's still a secret. I suppose you got your reasons. Does anyone else know?"

"Oh," said Agatha, "A few. Me, of course. And the Castle, very important. Then Gil, Tarvek, Zeetha, Higgs, the Jägers - naturally - um, Violetta, Krosp, Otilia (I think?), Theo, Sleipnir, Von Zinzer, Fraulein Snaug, and Mara's assistant Heather. And possibly Dr. Sun. Mara, did I miss anyone?"

She shrugged. "My family, of course. My in-laws. My husband. My children. Their nanny-"

"Kids," said Franz. "You have kids."

"Yes," said Mara, gushing. "Three beautiful children. Oh! And my oldest's Spark has already emerged! In fact, the day before I left, she-"

"Mara, that's fine, that's fine." said Agatha, waving her down. "Anyway, Franz: you must not tell anyone else about this! Understood?"

He stared at each alternately before replying. "Is there anyone left to tell?"

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"Focus."

{Guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, thrust}

"Focus."

{Guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, thrust}

"I am focused. Stop saying that."

{Guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, thrust}

"Zumil, I've seen toddlers that pay more attention!"

"Did you just say-?" said Agatha. "Oh, now you've done it. I-!"

WHAM! Agatha was face-down on the mat before she could speak another syllable. A thousand responses to this indignity coursed through her mind in a second - perhaps two. After three seconds, her final decision was to allow Zeetha to stand over her and cluck.

"You should not be on the floor right now," she said.

"I agree with you," said Agatha to the floor.

"No, I mean that you've parried that attack many times before. Practically in your sleep by now. Why didn't you this time?"

"You tell me, kolee," sighed Agatha. "What special technique did I fail to-?"

"Will you stop that, and stand tall before me??" said Zeetha. She reached down to yank on Agatha's belt to pull her to her knees.

"Ow!" said Agatha, hopping to her feet.  She rubbed her back. "What?? I missed one attack. These things happen."

"Yes," said Zeetha. "And then you're dead. Why did you accept this training match if I'd have to be holding back the whole time?"

Agatha sputtered for a second, then looked over her glasses at her. "Excuse me? You were not holding back. You're just trying to be insulting to get a rise out of me."

"Your lack of focus insults me," said Zeetha.

"If that was 'holding back,' then fine. Stop it. I won't!"

"Good!" said Zeetha. "We'll see if you've progressed to Toddler by now!" Agatha swung hard at her jaw - just wide enough to telegraph the attack. Zeetha parried and used Agatha's momentum to spin her even faster. It was not a clumsy attack so much as one that would not work against a well-trained warrior, such as a Skifandrian Princess.

Agatha was eating the mat again. This time she rolled away from Zeetha's foot stomp and back into a standing position. They squared off. Zeetha was perfectly still. Not even her breathing was apparent. Agatha feinted, which got no response - not even a flicker. Next she used an attack that had surprised and impressed Zeetha before. This time there was neither a surprise nor an impression; Agatha coughed as Zeetha's knee slammed into her belly, but she did not fall. The pain and now, anger, spurred her into a flurry of attacks. When they were all defended against, her anger became rage. She roared and let loose with an even fiercer, wilder blur of attacks that were sure to show her teacher all about "focus."

Jab, jab, palm, elbow, kick, spin, jab-WHAM.

Zeetha knelt down beside Agatha. There was no clucking. No sighing. Only silence. Agatha tried to convince herself that the floor smelled nice.
"Talk to me, Agatha," said Zeetha without a hint of anger, or even disappointment.

"I don't know what you mean," she said. "I'm having an 'off' day. We all do. I just need my coffee."

"You don't drink coffee."

"I'm going to start again," said Agatha. "I accomplished quite a lot the last time."

"Get up," said Zeetha. When Agatha hesitated, she slapped her behind, hard. "Get! Up!"

"Ow! I'm getting, I'm getting!" she said, dragging herself up. "You know, striking your Empress is probably treason. Or some serious crime, I'm sure."

"You are not my 'Empress,' and I am not joking," said Zeetha.

"Why are you so angry with me?" said Agatha. "What have I done?"

"Nothing," said Zeetha. "That is my point. My anger is- It comes from concern. I'm worried about you. We're on our way to a war, and I see that my neglect in your training has cost you dearly."

"Oh, now, wait a min-"

"Do not interrupt, zumil," said Zeetha. Agatha's eyes widened. She had not seen Zeetha this determined in quite some time. "First, I owe you an apology. I have been remiss in my duties to you. I could blame wedding preparations and... time with Higgs, but in the end, it is no excuse! You have come far in your training. I am very proud of you. But the pledge I made to you those years ago was for a lifetime! I must reaffirm that pledge. I must resume your warrior training."

Agatha stifled a scoff, but slipped in a small shrug. "Zeetha, there's no need to be so... dramatic about this. I'm not the uncertain girl that I was when we met. I don't suppose you've noticed all the things I've accomplished over the years?"

"Yes," she said. "They're all very nice. That doesn't change the fact that you have been greatly unfocused of late, and I don't mean just here, now. I mean... in general."

"Could you be more vague about that?" said Agatha. When her joke was dead on arrival, she shrugged again, as casually as she could. "I have a lot on my mind. The burden of the crown. We're on our way to war. Things like that."

"I've been seeing this long before war," said Zeetha. "In the last... perhaps a year. Perhaps longer. It's why I apologized. I haven't been the kolee that you deserve."

"You have been a wonderful kolee, Zeetha," said Agatha. "I couldn't ask for anyone better."

"What is 'on your mind?'" she said, ignoring the compliment. "What thoughts press on you so much that it risks your life?"

Agatha furrowed her brow momentarily, then let her expression soften. She turned partly away from Zeetha and scratched the back of her neck in thought. After a long pause that tested Zeetha's patience, Agatha glanced behind herself, to the door, then went to it and made sure it was shut. Then she locked it.

"This doesn't leave the room," she said.

"Done."

Agatha waited for more - perhaps another solemn proclamation - but when there was silence, she sighed and gathered her courage. "I've lost my spark-" She stopped to give Zeetha the opportunity to react, but got nothing more than a perplexed raise of an eyebrow. "-Of creativity," she finished. "It's difficult to explain. I haven't lost my intellect. All of the knowledge is there. The calculations, the ideas, the... the designs, the... They're not gone, they're just... I'll go into my lab - on those rare occasions when I can - and work for hours, from dusk to dawn and dawn to dusk, and have nothing to show for it. Nothing useful. Nothing that laughs at the laws of physics or turns the world of Science on its head! Nothing that would win any prize at a Spark science fair. I may as well be making gingerbread steam engines and quilting bees!"

"Why would bees-?"

"My last real project was trying to make the Fun-MADDs fly," she said. "That was months ago. You might recall some of the results."

"Hm," said Zeetha. "Wait, is that why the river was on fire?"

Agatha groaned and covered her face with one hand. She ran her fingers through the big shock of hair, all the way back to her cowlick.
"You said it best. I've been... unfocused. As you say. As you've seen. But you can't let anyone else know this. Please."

"Oh, zumil," said Zeetha, her tone surprisingly gentle. "I'm sure it's because I'm not a Spark, but I truly did not know this. From my view it looked like you've been making things just like always. And more so, given war preparations. Why, wasn't that Franz I saw flying around less than an hour ago, in a contraption that you made? If so, he looked very happy."

"He was," she said. "And it wasn't my contraption. It was Mara's. Granted, I cast the harness and its parts, and we assembled it together, but it was based on her design, and used her alloy, her propulsion system, her power source, and her communication device."

"Oh," said Zeetha uncertainly. "And does this bother you? That she made all that and you didn't?"

"No," said Agatha. "No, it's nothing to do with her accomplishments, or anyone else's. I mean that I've been running in place creatively. Tarvek has - more or less - admitted to the same, and Gil might, too, but would never admit it. Maybe it is the burden of the crown. Maybe we're experiencing firsthand what Klaus went through. Always being too busy to really... create! That's why we agreed to appoint Techmasters; the acknowledgment that we can't do everything ourselves, as much as we'd like to."

Agatha was quiet now. She had no answer for this yet, but having spoken it aloud for the first time, to someone she trusted with her life, was a tremendous load lifted from her mind. That was a good start. Zeetha may not have been a Spark, but she was wise beyond her years, a true friend, and would offer good counsel.

Zeetha burst out laughing. It was a hearty and deep laugh that only the upper classes seemed able to muster. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Zeetah was royalty herself.

"Zeetha!" Agatha snapped. "I have never been more serious!"

"Nor have I!" she said, but struggled to stifle her laughter. Over intermittent snickers, she counseled. "Ohhh, zumil." She wrapped an arm around a reluctant Agatha and rubbed her shoulder. "'Being too busy.' Pshaw! As if you don't do your best work under the most frantic, crazed, and dire conditions! Or is that the problem? You haven't experienced those conditions in a while. Does peacetime not agree with you?"

"...I hadn't really thought of it that way," saud Agatha. "But if it's true, I'm not sure I like the implications. That I'm at my best during War. But it shouldn't matter what state I'm in. I should always be thriving. Yet I'm too buried in bureaucracy! We all are."

"And...?"

"And what?"

Zeetha sighed and clucked quietly. "I am sympathetic to your dilemma. I truly am! But I've been waiting for you to admit to another possible cause for this, and you haven't."

"Oh, do tell."

"You three are a mess," said Zeetha. "You, Tarvek, Gil. Years ago a glorious friendship was forged. Glorious! But now, you three are known for your constant bickering, not your fantastic deeds or creations! You-"

"Again, our work and our responsibilities are very taxing and can wear down even the most-"

"I will not warn you about interruptions again!" said Zeetha. "I am deadly serious. And when I say 'deadly!'-Listen well, Agatha: you three are deluding yourselves and have been for far too long, and it is eating and picking and pecking at each of you, and at your level, that leads only to disaster! You three have been pining for each other for years, and you cannot pretend that you're not pining still!"

Zeetha folded her arms and nodded once for emphasis. Her wisdom had been dished out, and her zumil would feast upon it.

"Are you out of your mind??" said Agatha. "Are you--? Did you--? You think this is about sex? Really?"

"Everything is," said Zeetha. "It has brought low the fiercest warriors, started wars, fueled tyranny and subjugation. And it has reduced the three of you to snippy, snappy, yipping... Well, I can't think of a word, but the three of you need to find a bedroom, lock yourselves in, and work it out once and for all!" Agatha gasped. "Do not underestimate the healing power of the bedroom, zumil!"

"Zeetha, you go too far!" Agatha snapped, then fought to restrain herself, for her friend's sake. "I-- I appreciate your attempt at counsel, but-- No, I have things to do and places to be. We're done for today."

She moved with purpose to the door and had just laid her hand on the knob, when Zeetha held out her palm. "Wait! Before you storm out that door, give it one minute. It's all I ask of you. One minute to think about my 'attempt' at counsel. If you still think I'm wrong, and you're still angry, then go on your way, and I'll never speak of it again."

Agatha took half a minute. She kept her hand on the knob all the while, then breathed deeply before facing her friend again. "We can't be together," she said softly. "We can't-- have anything permanent. I can't marry Gil or Tarvek and have their children or-- Our lands. Our roles and responsibilites. We've divided them evenly. We three agreed to be in balance. For the sake of balance, no marriages, no children. It would tip the scales."

"Oh, for-! Find someone else, then!"

Agatha threw out her arms and began pacing. "Ah, well, how could I not have thought of that? Of course! A third man to make things even more complicated!"

"I am serious!" Zeetha snapped. "You do nothing to ease your... tension, and it eats you from the inside! In Skifander we have a saying. It roughly translates to: 'Release your bowels, or get off the pissing bowl!'"

"What kind of saying is-? Never mind; it would probably be worse if I knew what it meant. But-- But-- No! No, we- we can't have anything permanent between us." Agatha grew quiet. "No matter how much we want to."

Zeetha nodded solemnly and clapped a hand on her shoulder. "At last you admit it. This is good. Even if you don't resolve it now, on the edge of war, you have acknowledged it." She tapped Agatha's chest in emphasis. "And you cannot ignore it. You must face and conquer it, one way or another! It may not lift this mental block you have - not right away - but it's a step towards healing. That is also a warrior's tool. Not just fighting."

Agatha opened her mouth as if to reply, then relaxed it. She looked her friend in the eyes as if to speak with them instead. There was so much more to be said, but sometimes actions worked best. She sank into Zeetha's arms and held her tightly in a long embrace. Zeetha held on as long as her friend needed it.

"Thank you," Agatha whispered when they parted. The two stood in awkward silence a moment before Agatha straightened up and went to fetch her glasses. "You might be amused to know that I'm off to lunch now with them. Gil and Tarvek."

"Excellent!" said Zeetha. "You'll have much to discuss."

"Ah... maybe," she said. Zeetha gave her a Look. "I'll see what I can do." {Stare.} "I will try to... broach the subject." {Stare.} "Zeetha, they're just as much at fault, you know!" {Stare.} "Fine. Nothing like awkward meals with friends. I'll... let you know how it went."

"Only if you want to," said Zeetha. "Enjoy your lunch. Try to get strawberries for dessert."

"Ah... all right?"

"Chocolate-covered strawberries," she said, nodding and smirking. Agatha only stared in confusion. "Ugh," said Zeetha, waving it off. "Never mind. Enjoy your meal."

Part three is here!