Not losing.
anonymous
February 20 2007, 22:01:50 UTC
I will never ask you to stop caring. I am sorry that it clicked in so harshly the other day. I am grateful to have you as a friend on the worst days of our friendship. On the best days you are near a sister to me! And you know this. Or I hope you do. The drama toll has been a little higher of late. All around me know it. Maybe I'mnot as good at coping as I used to be. Maybe I just need to crack again. I AM VERY SORRY if it seems I don't care. I think we need to hang out more. I think we need to talk more, and I need to reorganize time to talk with you. I love laughing with you. I don't want you to repress emotions! GAH! Repression = BAD. we both know how well I did last tyme trying to reach you inside your walled emotions... maybe it would be easier this time, or because it might be my fault, maybe I wouldn't get in, and I would hate that. There are days where I don't want to know ANYONE. there are no exceptions on those days. take no offense to this. it's for your protection as much as everyone else. even me. I didn't realize I was
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Re: Not losing.maratinceirFebruary 21 2007, 00:50:49 UTC
I know that you will never stop caring. I also know that your life has not exactly been easy recently. This is why I had said nothing before, but when when your stomache does back flips for a week it's time to speak up. Supression=Bad. I know that you have your bad days but when I have to wait sometimes weeks for a good day it does take a toll. Everyone has bad days, some are have worse ones than others. I know to simply wait for your bad day to be over. Talking with you on a really really good day recharges me like nothing else can. The problem is that they have been rare lately - this has given the illusion of me not mattering and illusion or not it does hurt. I truly hope that my walls do not go back up, it is a main reason for my speaking up. I do enjoy talking with you and would love more opportunities.
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