my REAL father would let me go clubbing as late as i want

[maren]

sometimes i think about starting a whole new blog.  a blog about who i really am, about what i really think and feel.  i've gone as far as creating the blogger account.  then i sit there, realize i don't have it in me, and delete the account again.

i'm not sure when it happened, but i stopped sharing my whole self with anybody.

Comments

[oldtoast9]

did you ever get my last email?

-R

[anonymous]

do it, sweet face.
m

[geistin]

i don't see why blogger is going to bring out any more "true" maren than livejournal. i like keeping it old school on livejournal. but you know i boycotted it until it wasn't trendy anymore cause i'm stupid like that.

what it really is is that words are unable to accurately convey truth. i like that sometimes books or movies can make you feel things and get closer to identifying feelings and phenomenon. but i often find it impossible to actually say what it is they are making me feel or think about. you're probably a lot better at that than me cause you're a writer and literary person. but words dilute and distort the truth. i experienced this on that 11 day silent retreat. when i first broke the silence, it was to talk about the experience and what it had been like for me. the words rang in my ears and sounded so loud and so meaningless and so... stupid. i never wanted to talk again.

[scooter82]

i miss you maren...i've missed you these past 3 years.