Collected correspondence (Idea stolen from Rob)
Dear: Weather
You suck. Seriously, the beginning of Oct. is not the time to be displaying your ability to be unseasonably cold for 4 days in a row-especially since I have to go to a wedding tonight and will likely freeze my butt off, thanks to you. Oct. temperatures should not be amended with a windchill. Give it a rest until Nov. at least.
~V
Dear: Hobbits
I find it increasingly annoying that you cannot seem to regulate the volume of your music to an appropriate level. While I appreciate that you generally play your music during reasonable hours, hearing base through two floors is a bit much. This is even more annoying when my mother can hear your music during our conversations on the phone while I am in my room with the door closed. Respectfully, get your ears checked and maybe get some hearing aids to augment your obviously damaged ear drums.
~V
Dear: House/Landlord
I could deal when S.'s room had no working light switch. I could even deal when our fridge had to be plugged into an extension cord strung across our kitchen to find a working socket, but really? Was it necessary to ensure that none of the lighting on the second floor works? I like darkness, but only to a point. Plus, I like to be able to see when I am in the WC and you have effectively killed all of the lighting in all of our bathrooms. Not to mention the fact that we now have almost no sockets on the second floor that work, causing my roommate's electrical device to beep incessently for going on two hours now. If you are having problems with yourself, maybe you could convince the landlord that he should send an electrician? Goodness knows that our pleas have gone unheard.
Sincerely,
V.
Dear: Breakfast
I am never eating oatmeal again. Please refrain from ever crossing my mind to make you again, no matter how appealing the thought of a piping hot breakfast might be.
V.
Dear: D
Thank you for agreeing to accompany me to J.'s wedding. I hope that you will have a good time and that I look alright. I enjoy spending time with you and want to include more of you in my life.
~V.
PS. Have you done your DE homework yet? Stop procrastinating! :D