(no subject)
i love this*!Dave: If the response to "What You Pawn" took you by surprise, have you had the opposite experience? What's thrilled you that didn't resonate with readers or critics?
Alexie: Oh, the thing is, I'm never happy with anything I've done. I'm such a self-hater. I'm mortified by my own books.
It's been the case more often where something I thought was shit got a lot of attention. Like Indian Killer. I think it's a pile of crap novel.
Dave: Did you think that at the time?
Alexie: Yes.
Dave: What don't you like about it?
Alexie: Everything. Its tone. Its characters. It feels to me like a big cartoon. And the fact that it gets taught so seriously when I feel like it's really a cartoon, that bothers me. I love it when people teach it as a cartoon.
Dave: When you were working on it, what was interesting to you about it?
Alexie: The range. But I didn't go far enough. And I didn't complete it as a mystery novel. I was trying to write an actual mystery novel, and I ended up getting too fucking literary and didn't solve the mystery. That's really what bothers me.
I think all the other stuff is really just a way of talking about the fact that I wrote a genre novel that I didn't complete as a genre novel. If I had, it would be a far superior book. If I'd kept that in mind instead of turning it into some pretentious murder literary piece of shit.
it's -awesome-. that a writer i adore, that in many ways i try -- and dramatically fail -- to emulate can say that. i feel like that all the time. it's why that "name five fics you like" meme took me two days. it was utterly embarrassing to even reread what i've written, let alone decide i liked it enough to share. there's a lot i can't even look at, like all of lotrips, which is WHY many of you are here and yet? i just can't.
so, look. alexie is -brilliant- and he still feels this way about his work. i am decidedly NOT brilliant, so i think i should be granted permission feel the same way. it's choppy! i didn't push it enough! there's far too little dialogue! you can apply all three of these criticisms to every. single. thing. i have ever written. and yet, i keep writing? what is up with that? because i can't not write, i guess. even when i'm not actually producing anything -- like ever since i finished grad school -- i'm thinking about things and poking at things. but it is okay for me to NOT LIKE THE RESULT.
*from a sherman alexie interview pointed out to me -- and the rest of the world -- by neil gaiman. worth reading for this, the gaiman encounter, and his description of his own readings performances, which are FUCKING AWESOME. not that i'm biased. cough. and i really want one of his negative comment tshirts.
::
in other news, i think i have decided to get a queen bee bag [kyoto trucker in sage w/ plum. pretty! AND AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME FOR NOT BUYING BLUE??], because i want something a little smaller & slightly more professional than my laptop messenger bag, and oh my giddy aunt. the markup at fireworks nearly made me fall over. i mean, i'd get it direct from buyolympia regardless, but seriously. it was crazy shit.
...uh-oh. now i am poking around buyolympia. they have the back issues of wholphin. do you realize what this means? I COULD OWN "THE DELICIOUS". be still my heart. clearly it is time for me to get off of the internet & watch "doctor who". meep!
Alexie: Oh, the thing is, I'm never happy with anything I've done. I'm such a self-hater. I'm mortified by my own books.
It's been the case more often where something I thought was shit got a lot of attention. Like Indian Killer. I think it's a pile of crap novel.
Dave: Did you think that at the time?
Alexie: Yes.
Dave: What don't you like about it?
Alexie: Everything. Its tone. Its characters. It feels to me like a big cartoon. And the fact that it gets taught so seriously when I feel like it's really a cartoon, that bothers me. I love it when people teach it as a cartoon.
Dave: When you were working on it, what was interesting to you about it?
Alexie: The range. But I didn't go far enough. And I didn't complete it as a mystery novel. I was trying to write an actual mystery novel, and I ended up getting too fucking literary and didn't solve the mystery. That's really what bothers me.
I think all the other stuff is really just a way of talking about the fact that I wrote a genre novel that I didn't complete as a genre novel. If I had, it would be a far superior book. If I'd kept that in mind instead of turning it into some pretentious murder literary piece of shit.
it's -awesome-. that a writer i adore, that in many ways i try -- and dramatically fail -- to emulate can say that. i feel like that all the time. it's why that "name five fics you like" meme took me two days. it was utterly embarrassing to even reread what i've written, let alone decide i liked it enough to share. there's a lot i can't even look at, like all of lotrips, which is WHY many of you are here and yet? i just can't.
so, look. alexie is -brilliant- and he still feels this way about his work. i am decidedly NOT brilliant, so i think i should be granted permission feel the same way. it's choppy! i didn't push it enough! there's far too little dialogue! you can apply all three of these criticisms to every. single. thing. i have ever written. and yet, i keep writing? what is up with that? because i can't not write, i guess. even when i'm not actually producing anything -- like ever since i finished grad school -- i'm thinking about things and poking at things. but it is okay for me to NOT LIKE THE RESULT.
*from a sherman alexie interview pointed out to me -- and the rest of the world -- by neil gaiman. worth reading for this, the gaiman encounter, and his description of his own readings performances, which are FUCKING AWESOME. not that i'm biased. cough. and i really want one of his negative comment tshirts.
::
in other news, i think i have decided to get a queen bee bag [kyoto trucker in sage w/ plum. pretty! AND AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME FOR NOT BUYING BLUE??], because i want something a little smaller & slightly more professional than my laptop messenger bag, and oh my giddy aunt. the markup at fireworks nearly made me fall over. i mean, i'd get it direct from buyolympia regardless, but seriously. it was crazy shit.
...uh-oh. now i am poking around buyolympia. they have the back issues of wholphin. do you realize what this means? I COULD OWN "THE DELICIOUS". be still my heart. clearly it is time for me to get off of the internet & watch "doctor who". meep!