Guilt

[margo_qu]

There are few emotions that are damaging. Among those are jealousy, anger, hate, fear. But all of these are nothing compare to one. This emotion arises from other negative feelings and completes them all. Anger can empower you. Hate can make you stronger. Fear can transform to bravery. But guilt will stay there inside you and keep drilling inside

Comments

[broken_guitar]

I agree, it's the most damaging one for sure.
I've developed a kind of protective mechanism for myself - whatever decision I make, I don't question it in the future.
Of course this decision should be grounded, but whatever was done in the past is in the past. And I calm myself by thinking (and knowing) that was the best decision I could make in those circumstances.

On the other hand maybe you can transform even guilt. Let's say you made a mistake being a child, you can reevaluate things, realize the mistake and become a better person.

[margo_qu]

What you are saying is a great method, but it's really hard to do for one reason only - we r using our mind to justify our unconscious feelings. You see, guilt is not a 'mind feeling', therefore it can't be cured by mind games, however, accepting it and observing it and being aware of it really help to deal with it. Frankly, I used to use the same technique as you before. Now I don't use any techniques. I just aware and I accept. But I don't say that my way is the only way - it just one of many roads.

to be transformed feeling (or emotion) has to have a dual side. For example, hate can be transformed to love and on the contrary. But what would be a guilt's opposite side?

[broken_guitar]

First about transformation. Maybe it's harder to find an opposite to such feeling as guilt, but I guess to transform it you just need to consider each situation in particular

[margo_qu]

Ok, I think the realization of what you did to your brother changed your behavior towards him. But it didn't transform the guilt. You were (or are) covering the guilt with good deeds toward him. This is not a transformation.

As for your father. It's not about guilt. It's about anger. The right way would be to transform it to compassion or indifference. May be second, and then it will become first. After that you still don't have to communicate to him, you should choose people whom you enjoy.