Keahi Journal
I had been hoping to have some rest before we had to flee Sijan. It has been a long time since I was required to counter a spell, and now that I think about it, there was more than one spell. It relieves me that it might not have been my own stupidity, though I once again feel like an utter failure for not having been chosen by the sun. That's probably why I get so mad at the cowboy for wasting his gifts. Why was he chosen to carry the banner and I wasn't? That's a rant for another time, however. It could have been much worse, after all.
After, shall we say, convincing the girls to stay I told the others I was going to bed and that we would be leaving in the morning. The only thing I wanted to do was get out of the dress. It would have been nice if there was someone to take it off for, but I'm chalking that up to being dangerously close to a Fit and lonliness. Sleeping with comrades makes things more complicated, but it's amazing how often those complications seem worth it. Now is one of those times, but that's where things get very strange. I know the cowboy is Bloodborne, he wasn't killed on the Isle after all. The guns, the manners, the fact that he used it as his code name, it all adds up! It has to be him! I may have blotted out his face, but after Lajos' selfish bed I can remember very clearly now what happened with him. But even with the cowboy here, Chaos is still jaw dropping, and after loosing his five girls he'll need a rebound. though he'd never look twice at me. What is wrong with me!? I'm acting like I'm back in primary school and trying to decide between two boys.
Maybe I should just go back to girls--though I feel that will be betraying Menefer.
Of course, there isn't really time to debate that now. We've been forced to flee from Sijan and I have honestly never seen the cowboy look so worried. His "tough guy" persona may be a way to hide fear, but he was really scared about something. I'm just impressed he remembered to take all of us with him. Then again, it did take me some time to convince him that we needed to stop so that the five mortals, not to mention myself, could get some rest. We stopped in a port town a few hours outside Sijan. It's not the safest place, but it will give us some breathing room before we race down to the manse again. I'm just glad people agreed it was the right course. Though now I worry why the sudden living shadow I've developed is so curious about the Mahadi. She said she was from Drallion, and if Drallion is taking an interest in something I'm doing no good can come of it. And I only say that because I like him.
After hearing Haze's talk about a pale man attacking Ondolee, I decided some salt maybe in order. Luckily the port had plenty at cheap prices. Now to find prayer strips for wards people can wear. Ghosts and demons I think. It was a pleasent surprise to find that Chaos spoke Old Realm and an even bigger surprise that it seemed to make him happy to hear me speak it. I don't know why, Grandfather made me learn it alongside High Realm to the point that I'm not sure which is actually my native language. Still, it was nice to see him smile again. It also seems to have endeared me to him. He went with me...or maybe I went with him...to the market of this town. He was looking for iron though. This was concerning since I don't have much practice with wards against the Raksha.
My attempt to make Ondolee remember me only proved that he is scared. I'm just a scalehead in his eyes, and I know he's not fond of Chaos, yet he waited for the two of us to return, like he was keeping sentry over something. Surely he knows with five pregnant girls that I have to break our verbal contract. I promised to take care of them, and since all I asked him to do was to go with us after Crimson Tempest, I guess that is complete anyway. Why do I feel like I'm loosing him again--he was never mine to begin with, and we'd probably end up killing each other anyway. I need to stop thinking like this or I'm going to drive myself nuts.
And I wish my sister would find a better way to see me than in my dreams. The scar fucking hurts! I'm damned tired of her making me the barrier of her bad news. The least she could have done was make sure that Rose is not angry about her death. Now I have to tell everyone that Abyssals are taking over Sijan, and throw Chaos into further depression by telling him that she is dead. Damnit! Damnit damnit damnit!
After, shall we say, convincing the girls to stay I told the others I was going to bed and that we would be leaving in the morning. The only thing I wanted to do was get out of the dress. It would have been nice if there was someone to take it off for, but I'm chalking that up to being dangerously close to a Fit and lonliness. Sleeping with comrades makes things more complicated, but it's amazing how often those complications seem worth it. Now is one of those times, but that's where things get very strange. I know the cowboy is Bloodborne, he wasn't killed on the Isle after all. The guns, the manners, the fact that he used it as his code name, it all adds up! It has to be him! I may have blotted out his face, but after Lajos' selfish bed I can remember very clearly now what happened with him. But even with the cowboy here, Chaos is still jaw dropping, and after loosing his five girls he'll need a rebound. though he'd never look twice at me. What is wrong with me!? I'm acting like I'm back in primary school and trying to decide between two boys.
Maybe I should just go back to girls--though I feel that will be betraying Menefer.
Of course, there isn't really time to debate that now. We've been forced to flee from Sijan and I have honestly never seen the cowboy look so worried. His "tough guy" persona may be a way to hide fear, but he was really scared about something. I'm just impressed he remembered to take all of us with him. Then again, it did take me some time to convince him that we needed to stop so that the five mortals, not to mention myself, could get some rest. We stopped in a port town a few hours outside Sijan. It's not the safest place, but it will give us some breathing room before we race down to the manse again. I'm just glad people agreed it was the right course. Though now I worry why the sudden living shadow I've developed is so curious about the Mahadi. She said she was from Drallion, and if Drallion is taking an interest in something I'm doing no good can come of it. And I only say that because I like him.
After hearing Haze's talk about a pale man attacking Ondolee, I decided some salt maybe in order. Luckily the port had plenty at cheap prices. Now to find prayer strips for wards people can wear. Ghosts and demons I think. It was a pleasent surprise to find that Chaos spoke Old Realm and an even bigger surprise that it seemed to make him happy to hear me speak it. I don't know why, Grandfather made me learn it alongside High Realm to the point that I'm not sure which is actually my native language. Still, it was nice to see him smile again. It also seems to have endeared me to him. He went with me...or maybe I went with him...to the market of this town. He was looking for iron though. This was concerning since I don't have much practice with wards against the Raksha.
My attempt to make Ondolee remember me only proved that he is scared. I'm just a scalehead in his eyes, and I know he's not fond of Chaos, yet he waited for the two of us to return, like he was keeping sentry over something. Surely he knows with five pregnant girls that I have to break our verbal contract. I promised to take care of them, and since all I asked him to do was to go with us after Crimson Tempest, I guess that is complete anyway. Why do I feel like I'm loosing him again--he was never mine to begin with, and we'd probably end up killing each other anyway. I need to stop thinking like this or I'm going to drive myself nuts.
And I wish my sister would find a better way to see me than in my dreams. The scar fucking hurts! I'm damned tired of her making me the barrier of her bad news. The least she could have done was make sure that Rose is not angry about her death. Now I have to tell everyone that Abyssals are taking over Sijan, and throw Chaos into further depression by telling him that she is dead. Damnit! Damnit damnit damnit!