Keahi Journal
There's something depressing about boats, I'm sure of it now. I only have a few happy memories of being on them, and they all stem back to my years at the Heptagram. Then again, a lot of my happier memories come from then. But I'm trying not to think about that right now. Though it's hard not to when there's a fog so thick I can barely see my hand in front of my face and there's a rain storm outside. For as beautiful the ride was up to Sijan, the return trip is looking very, very grim. Though I suppose it's for the best that we're on a river and not on the Inland Sea. A storm there would have us all feeling sick.
At least the time has let us all have a short conference. Rushing out of Sijan hasn't given us much time to think about what we're going to do next. Personally, for me, it's rather clear what I'm going to do. I need to get together reinforcements and return to Sijan. CHaos isn't so sure that the Abyssals in Sijan is such a bad thing. Perhaps he's right, but I'd rather like to know why now, when the Empress's body is supposed to be there too. Reconnisance, is obviously, completely necessary and I'm hoping that I'll be able to do most of it from the manse. There's the cult's headquarters to start with. I still have the chalice, and I'm hoping the body is still there. If it isn't I'll have to try to find another way to getting the information, and that might mean letting people know about things that I'm not ready to tell them. The fewer outsiders on this, the better.
And, it isn't really all bad. For some reason this trip has sent a part of my mind back to the boy craziness that got me in so much trouble back in primary school. In one way the rain was the greatest thing that could have happened. Apparently the cowboy hates being wet even more than I hate being dirty. The moment we were below deck he took nearly everything off except for his jeans, his boots, and his chainshirt. It was very difficult to think with him standing around like that. I'm truely hoping it wasn't obvious that I would stop thinking everytime I looked at him. It's not fair that such a dedicated asshole is so...well I suppose attractive is the word but it seems too docile. Lajos is attractive, but I haven't wanted to jump on Lajos for some time. Why is this coming back? It's not as if I actually care about Ondolee so why is it suddenly so important to me that he remembers me, or that he finds something redeeming about me, or that he looks amazing in just his jeans and a chain shirt? This is utterly stupid! I just need to remember that he's an asshole that seems to enjoy bringing up every mistake I've ever made and being all around difficult. That's better.
And then there's Chaos. I still remember that I was floored by how beautiful he was when I first saw him outside the manse not long after I had met up with Haze. I still remember thinking that I was out of his league, judging from the company he kept with the five girls. I still don't know how I never picked up that it was mind control that he had them under. And I wonder still why that isn't scaring me more. For some reason it only bothers me because I feel a bit sorry for him. Not only does he seem to have had a rather nasty reality check, but at the same time he found out he was going to be a father five times over. I suppose I should have talked to him more before assuming responsibility over the five of them, but I couldn't just let them all wander home! Honestly I may be a bit of a cold bitch, but I'm not going to let five children and their mothers get hurt. Still, I don't know if Chaos spending time with me suddenly is his way of thanking me, or if there's something more. Ha! There's a delusion of grandure if I ever heard one. Chaos has no interest in me, outside of this venture. He does make some some rather wonderful tea, though. and it's sweet that he was the first one to offer to come with me to the temple.
And I don't like those sounds that are coming from the deck. I'm half tempted to go up and see what's going on.
At least the time has let us all have a short conference. Rushing out of Sijan hasn't given us much time to think about what we're going to do next. Personally, for me, it's rather clear what I'm going to do. I need to get together reinforcements and return to Sijan. CHaos isn't so sure that the Abyssals in Sijan is such a bad thing. Perhaps he's right, but I'd rather like to know why now, when the Empress's body is supposed to be there too. Reconnisance, is obviously, completely necessary and I'm hoping that I'll be able to do most of it from the manse. There's the cult's headquarters to start with. I still have the chalice, and I'm hoping the body is still there. If it isn't I'll have to try to find another way to getting the information, and that might mean letting people know about things that I'm not ready to tell them. The fewer outsiders on this, the better.
And, it isn't really all bad. For some reason this trip has sent a part of my mind back to the boy craziness that got me in so much trouble back in primary school. In one way the rain was the greatest thing that could have happened. Apparently the cowboy hates being wet even more than I hate being dirty. The moment we were below deck he took nearly everything off except for his jeans, his boots, and his chainshirt. It was very difficult to think with him standing around like that. I'm truely hoping it wasn't obvious that I would stop thinking everytime I looked at him. It's not fair that such a dedicated asshole is so...well I suppose attractive is the word but it seems too docile. Lajos is attractive, but I haven't wanted to jump on Lajos for some time. Why is this coming back? It's not as if I actually care about Ondolee so why is it suddenly so important to me that he remembers me, or that he finds something redeeming about me, or that he looks amazing in just his jeans and a chain shirt? This is utterly stupid! I just need to remember that he's an asshole that seems to enjoy bringing up every mistake I've ever made and being all around difficult. That's better.
And then there's Chaos. I still remember that I was floored by how beautiful he was when I first saw him outside the manse not long after I had met up with Haze. I still remember thinking that I was out of his league, judging from the company he kept with the five girls. I still don't know how I never picked up that it was mind control that he had them under. And I wonder still why that isn't scaring me more. For some reason it only bothers me because I feel a bit sorry for him. Not only does he seem to have had a rather nasty reality check, but at the same time he found out he was going to be a father five times over. I suppose I should have talked to him more before assuming responsibility over the five of them, but I couldn't just let them all wander home! Honestly I may be a bit of a cold bitch, but I'm not going to let five children and their mothers get hurt. Still, I don't know if Chaos spending time with me suddenly is his way of thanking me, or if there's something more. Ha! There's a delusion of grandure if I ever heard one. Chaos has no interest in me, outside of this venture. He does make some some rather wonderful tea, though. and it's sweet that he was the first one to offer to come with me to the temple.
And I don't like those sounds that are coming from the deck. I'm half tempted to go up and see what's going on.