I had a dream last night that everyone told me I was ugly and my mom kept telling me over and over again. Then I woke up to one of my cats trying to eat my face.

Remember those plush dogs and cats you could get at Target and they're pregnant and once you buy them you rip open their velcro bellies and find out how many pups n kittens they have? Well I got one in my youth, ripped that pussy (cat) open and found that there were three of them. The first one was all bright and jittery and had aqua marine eyes, ( Read more... )

Class is over. Sorta. Have you ever stopped and thought of how creative nail polish brushes are? I mean they serve as both a lid and a brush! Fucking brilliant shit. Same with rubber cement and white-out. ingenius. I wish I can invent something as clever as that. Wait, I did. Cameron and I went to the B Line today for lunch and I invented a camera ( Read more... )

I love my brother, but he was an accident- a VERY good accident. Maybe the best accident that had ever happened.

It is such a relief to know that a person like David exists. David is by far, the most fascinating person I have ever met.

I feel like an icecicle dripping in a cave. I feel this torturous tickle when the water slides down my conicle form, and drips off onto the snowy ground, making a soft gray hole in the snow ( Read more... )

I have been in love with Mike for the past 9 months. In this period of time, I could have given birth to his child.

So, if we all were interviewed for the Swan, based on our life tragedies, then I think we'd all make it. The Swan tries to sensationalize their contestants' stories...."Marsha is a loner and wants to be invisible"..."Lupita was a slut and had a miscarriage"...."Cheryl's husband cheated on her with a blind stewardess"....I mean come on. Everyone has ( Read more... )

My brother and I were pulling pranks on each other while we were watching Arrested Development. God that show is amazing. So anyways, Twan thinks he has the last laugh. But I put my chewed up apple core in his suede shoes. I hope he's planning on wearing them tomorrow morning. Sucka bitch.

There once was a girl ( Read more... )