-
Being Alive Requires That...
...I face this blip of grief and guilt and do something about it. I've done it before and I'll bloody do it again. Remember how? It wasn't my fault, it wasn't all my fault, I'll know better next time, I'll do better next time, it wasn't my fault, I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault, don't be scared...
-
(Untitled)
Peals of laughter escaped my throat as I stroked his forehead, now covered in a light sheen of sweat. His hands wandered along my body, found my hands, his fingers weaving into place between mine. He smiled-his broad, sweetly infectious smile-and I laughed some more involuntarily, the sound harsh and nervous even to my ears. I shifted and kissed ( Read more... ) -
another way
wanted to take my mind off the news. too much.
Kingston was lovely, though the cab driver says that it's only the summer sun fooling us. Winters are nasty, and that's what matters when school starts anyway. We visited because once upon a time, mum was going to go to Queen's.
Once upon a time, I was going to go to Queen's.
It was a toss up between ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The flames were roaring quietly, the flickering light dancing across still faces around the table. Occasional laughter, muffled by kisses, drowned out by singing. I heard his voice in my ear now and again but I could not make out the words over the roar in my head. Except for three, whispered:
"You... are amazing."
A quick, scratchy kiss to the side ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Maybe you'll hear this, maybe you won't, but... best of luck. I have faith you can do it and when you come out on top, you're going to be wonderful. Not that you're not wonderful now, but when you're done you'll be happy with yourself and that's going to make all the difference in the world.
-
Being Alive Is...
...feeling the snow on my bare neck, shoulders, and back; the agony in the soles of my feet as I stood, stark naked, staring at the spot I've stared at so many times twelve storeys below; the vulnerableness and the security altogether, and something else quite besides...
-
(Untitled)
His face was barely visible; I lifted my hands to his cheeks and tried to find his eyes amidst the pools of shadow. They glistened as he shifted slightly, blinked.
"Dammit, I'm falling for you," I whispered.
And he replied, "I know, I know, I know," his words punctuated by kisses around my face.
All of a sudden I felt very, very frightened.
-
Being Alive Is...
...having that something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning. Big, small-any bloody thing at all.
Goodness, I'm almost there. Can you believe it? Six months, or more, of this struggle everyday. And of course I'll lapse. That's fucking normal. But now I know I can do it, and I'll bloody do it again.
Fuck yes.
-
(Untitled)
"Look at us-we're awesome," he said.
I nodded. He needed say no more. I knew exactly what he meant. Too bad we were never awesome together.
-
(Untitled)
Worst case is we'll say: "we tried."
Best case possible is worth the risk.