So I got into an argument with John. John as in the friend that always drinks too much and needs to be babysat. Caught him talking shit about me at the club tonight
( Read more... )
I've dealt with a mean drunk who was close to me. Anyone who knows anything about it will tell you that if they never face any consequences, they never get a clue.
I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that shit yesterday. I can't believe that he was talking shit about you....after all you've done to help him out.
Seenah was totally right. Friends are there to help you out not to talk shit about them and fight with them.
If the guy is really terminally ill, you should allow Bob the leeway to have his friendship with him, probably not in your shared apartment, though. That'll need to be agreed upon in some way. I don't envy you that discussion, because it sounds like John is half-living there? I could not deal with that, myself.
I can imagine a man with a lot of issues (imminent death among them) pushing away his friends before he dies, like a wounded animal. He's pretending that he is saying goodbye on his terms, not the terrible terms of his illness. A lot of men are really horribly awkward and destructive about such things.
It doesn't mean you have to be around his drunkenness or put up with it (indeed, you shouldn't talk to him at all if he's been drinking, even if it seems it might work). And if you like him at all you have to warn him about this briefly and kindly, while he's sober, that you love it when he's sober but you can no longer associate when he's drunk, just so he knows.
Oh boy I don't know even half of what is going on but it sounds like a lot of stress. If you ever want to come upstairs and vent, you're always welcome.
Comments 4
Reply
Seenah was totally right. Friends are there to help you out not to talk shit about them and fight with them.
Reply
I can imagine a man with a lot of issues (imminent death among them) pushing away his friends before he dies, like a wounded animal. He's pretending that he is saying goodbye on his terms, not the terrible terms of his illness. A lot of men are really horribly awkward and destructive about such things.
It doesn't mean you have to be around his drunkenness or put up with it (indeed, you shouldn't talk to him at all if he's been drinking, even if it seems it might work). And if you like him at all you have to warn him about this briefly and kindly, while he's sober, that you love it when he's sober but you can no longer associate when he's drunk, just so he knows.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment