Friendly Help 4/?
Title: Friendly Help
Pairings: Mark/Sabrina
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own no one.
Summary: Mark and Sabrina have a relationship that most don’t understand, but it works for them. When Mark needs Sabrina’s help, she’s always there for him.
Comments: Welcomed and appreciated.
Chapter 4
Mark spent all of practice shooting Derek dirty looks and denying his accusations, but trying to convince him after Sabrina’s stunt wasn’t easy.
“Seriously dude, I thought you’d be all for announcing it and she’d be all secretive. I guess the tide has turned. You two need to stop denying it. You’re a cute couple and it’s obvious that you both are in love with each other.”
“Derek! Stop it! There is nothing but friendship between us. She doesn’t want anything other than that. Please drop it and let’s get through this practice!” Derek stopped the accusations when he saw his brother’s eyes. Those eyes always betrayed him. He loves her. She may not want love with him, but he sure wants and does love her.
They finished dancing and Derek falls into step with Mark on the way to the trailers. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time. If it’s friendship you guys want, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll see ya later. Catch me before you leave about when you want to rehearse some tunes.”
“Will do.” Mark sighs with relief that Derek is finally going to drop it. He steps into his trailer and didn’t think he’d find a beautiful woman sleeping on his couch. She had insisted she didn’t need to rest. He didn’t actually think she would have come to his trailer. He shut the door quietly and stared at her for a minute. He moved towards the bench seat on the opposite side as the couch and just stared. He let his mind drift to what could be.
Why can’t we have a relationship that works? It could happen. I don’t know that it would work, she may be right. Maybe there is too much history between us. Maybe it is just too difficult to get past. But looking at her laying there, the only thought running through my head is how badly I want to lay down beside her and pull her too me. She would absolutely kill me if I did that. It might well be a good way to die though.
He laid his head back against the wall and closed his eyes trying desperately to think of something other than her. Maybe if he got busy doing something else, or just left all together, he could stop himself from thinking of her. He stood and had his hand on the door when he heard that angelic voice.
“Mark?”
He turned and saw her rubbing her eyes. “Yes Bri?”
“Where are you going?”
His mind flashed back when he heard her question. The first time he fell asleep in her hotel room and was slipping back to his, she had called him back. There were times in between but his mind skimmed over those memories and went to the last time she called for him. He was slipping out of their bed after a bad fight the night before. He was leaving and had made up his mind that she was just too much to handle. He didn’t understand her career and he had Joanna to provide him comfort. She called for him then with a sad, shaky voice. He remembered exactly what she had said. ‘Mark? Where are you going? Don’t leave me. We can work this out, please Mark!’ The crying began after her pleas and Mark just turned and walked away. He was such an idiot to ever let her go.
“Mark?”
“Yes baby?” There it was. That unmistakable silence. He fumbled for what to say and something inside him clicked. “I’m sorry Bri. It’s an old habit and it just fits well. I’m not doing it to get under your skin, I promise.” He looks at her and her eyes are closed like she’s thinking hard.
“Mark?”
“Yes.”
“Why is it so hard?”
“Well I guess because that’s what I called you for so long and it’s just…”
She interrupted. “No! I mean us. Why is it so hard for us to just be friends? Why is it we watch ourselves and tiptoe around hoping we can convince ourselves that we didn’t have a past?”
“Um…I’m not really sure.”
She sits up fully and pats the seat beside her. “Come here and let’s talk.” He did as she said without a word. She looked at him with a soft smile. “We have a past and we can’t change that. When you left me you broke my heart. It might be easier for you to slip back into little nicknames we had for each other, but for me it’s painful. It just reminds me of how happy we were, then how unhappy I was.”
“I’m sorry.” He couldn’t look her in the eyes.
“I don’t want you to be sorry. We’re past that point. I want you to know that when you say little stuff from our past, that it still hurts. I thought I would be over it and I’m not. I can’t let go of the pain that our breakup caused. Maybe I shouldn’t be the one helping you.”
“Sabrina, please. Can’t we talk about this? We used to could talk about anything.” He looked at her hopefully and praying she would look into his eyes and see his sincerity.
“I…I..don’t know. I can’t be hurt that bad again. I can’t stand to be in the hospital over it…” She froze…that wasn’t supposed to come out. He didn’t know. No one but her parents really knew.
“WHAT? When were you…? OH!” The realization hit him. The exhaustion diagnosis wasn’t really that. It was a good cover up for a breakdown. She couldn’t take everything at once. There was the end of the Cheetah Girls and the initial let down of no longer working with her two best friends after being on the road with them every day. Then he decided her fate that morning and left, even as she begged him not to. He had never seen her beg until that day and he was so cold towards her. Looking back, it must have taken a lot for her to beg for him to stay. She was one of the strongest people he knew, and not the type to beg for anything. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why would I? I wasn’t exactly proud I couldn’t handle the crap going on in my life.” She sounded so beaten and he noticed a tear escaped.
“I’m so sorry.”
“STOP SAYING THAT! It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t help.”
“What would help?”
“Nothing…we can’t go back and we shouldn’t. We weren’t right for each other, but at that time it didn’t seem like it. We fit together so perfectly and I thought we were all good. Until that night…”, she trailed off.
“Is there anything I can do to help with how I’ve treated you? You won’t let me tell you how horrible I feel and how I wish I could take it back. I do, you know. I wish I could have made better decisions and maybe we’d be married by now with a little one on the way. Who knows? I regret it every single day though. I regret giving up on us. I regret giving you a reason to hate me. I regret hurting you let alone so badly. I regret Joanna. I regret everything about that time Bri. I will NEVER regret our time together though. It was precious to me and still is. I can see how happy I was when I was with you. I can see you were happy too. I’m going to tell you what you don’t want to hear. I WANT us back. I want YOU. I can’t be fulfilled without you back in my life. I love you.”
Sabrina started crying and her simple stream of tears led to sobs. Her body was shaking and he was now panicking. He didn’t know what this was a sign of. Good or bad?
TBC…