Business as Usual - Twilight FanFiction
Title: Business as Usual
Pairing: Jacob/Leah
Rating: T methinks for some swearing.
Summery: Witty sparring. Awkward Silences. Alpha-Beta business as usual. Or is it? A one-shot.
A/N: Post BD, and in a world were THE imprint never happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did the Spawn never would have been conceived.
The sun was already up, of course, and streaming into the bloody open window when I finally woke up. I made to rub my groggy eyes but there was something hard on my face. The hell? In a fit of momentary panic I bolted into a sitting position, swatting at my face. The thing plunked into my lap, taunting me. It was a clipboard. Really? Oh gods, how pathetic that must have looked. If any of the boys had witnessed that they should be their prayers... Annoyed I picked up the bloody object and dutifully read the scrap of paper attached to it.
Hey Sis,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
You're being expected at the Cullen's at one. Just FYI. Have a happy day!
~Seth
Damn. It was my birthday. And I'd practically forgotten because somehow my wonderful Alpha had gotten the idea in his little head that last night would be the perfect time to assign me patrol. Peachy, huh?
No. And now my darling little brother had invited me over to the leeches for a not-so-little birthday bash, if the Pixie one had anything to do with it.
I glanced at the alarm clock next to my bed. It's obnoxious glowing red numbers read 12:30. Wait. 12:30 PM.
Fuck.
Man was I screwed. I jumped out of bed and raced into my bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth and sprinted out of the house. Thanks to the powers that be that my mother wasn't home. She, no doubt, would have delayed me even further because mothers tend to do that sort of thing. And nobody wants to face a family of angry leeches. Well, at least I didn't. Not on my birthday.
And so 100 yards into the woods, I tied my tank top and sweatpants neatly around my leg and phased. I could get there faster that way. Almost immediately I regretted that decision.
So the birthday princess finally decided to grace us with her presence.
Shut it, Black.
In a rainbows and butterflies mood I see.
You know, sometimes your ability to comprehend the English language seems dubious. And with that I decided I was close enough to the Cullen's to phase out of wolf form and make the rest of the journey on foot. Wait, why the hell was I doing this any way and not celebrating my birthday on the couch with a cup of ramen noodles? Oh right, pissed off vampires equals not pretty. Yeah, basically.
As soon as I stepped into the little clearing in front of the Cullen residence I was immediately accosted by the Pixie one. “See Rosalie, the plan worked!”she squealed. Uh oh, that didn't sound good. After the Pixie one untangled herself from me, I smiled sort of at the gathered clan of vampires. “So...”
“Happy Birthday, Leah,” said Carlisle. He was decent, a good doctor. Except that was the cue for each one of the leeches to personally wish me a happy birthday and shake my hand or give me a hug, including Bella-fail and her spawn. Seriously, was this all really necessary?
“I made a cake,” offered Esme gently. Everything about her was gentle. “You can have some now or later, what ever suits your fancy.”
“Yeah,” I said, “later sounds good.” Esme nodded sweetly and everyone dispersed except for the Pixie and the Blond, Alice and Rosalie.
“And now phase three commences!” Alice exclaimed, tugging me by the wrist into the house. It was a gesture I didn't particularly appreciate.
“Hey, I can walk you know,” I said, wrenching free of her grasp.
“Hmm, right, well upstairs you go then.” I followed Alice up the stairs with Rosalie following close behind. She led me into one of the bedrooms, with a bloody big closet and a huge vanity. Things started to fall into place.
Not cool. Really not cool.
“So,” Alice said, hands clasped behind her back, swaying side to side, “Rose and I have decided that your love life needs a little something to spice it up. Consider this the family's birthday present to you. So, with some help from your little brother, we've set you up on a blind date for this evening.”
“At the nicest French restaurant in Port Angeles,” added Rosalie.
“So, we here are going to make sure you look fabulous for your evening out,” finished Alice. I eyed them skeptically. Weren't you supposed to at least appreciate your birthday presents?
“Are you sure you want to go through the trouble? I mean, I'm not a complete slug. I can dress myself perfectly well, thank you very much.”
“Psh, it'll be fun!” exclaimed Alice, as she grabbed me by the waist and sat me down on her bed. Why she had a bed, not needing sleep and all I didn't really get. Oh wait. A bed could be nice for some certain nighttime activities...
Well, anyways. So let me just say that over the next hour and a half I was pushed in and out of innumerable dresses, until Rose and Alice decided that the royal purple one, which was less like a dress and more like a scrap of fabric that barely covered all the important places, looked the best. Then I was subjected to make-up and hair and this and that and my head was pulled and twisted and contorted so much that I was surprised I still looked human at the end of it.
And then I was ushured down the stairs (this was phase four, apparently), and fawned over by all the vamps and my leech-loving little brother who was snapping pictures (which I would be sure to delete later). And then Alice whisked me out to their garage, and plopped me in the back seat of some car and off we went, with Edward driving and Alice chatting incessantly This was not how I had intended to spend my birthday. Really, it wasn't.
Faster than we should have (go figure those vamps), we arrived in Port Angeles and the mind rapist pulled in in front of an admittedly cute little restaurant. With white table clothes, the works.
“He's here,” said Edward cryptically, and Alice practically exploded through the sun roof in excitement. She tugged me out of the car (what was it with her and tugging people?) which was a bit tricky without revealing anything, if you catch my drift. And then she rushed me into the place, where the lanky maitre d' greeted us. I quickly scanned the room, and picked out none other that Jacob Black, the most annoying Alpha on the face of this planet, sitting at a table for two and starring out the window. No. It couldn't be. “Alice,” I growled warningly.
“Reservations for Whitlock.” said Alice brightly, “I believe a member of the party is already here.” The maitre d' scanned his registrar before saying, “yes, but the reservation's for two...”
“Yes, that's correct,” said Alice briskly. “Have a nice night.” And then she was gone. Faster than she should have been.
I was fuming. What the hell had I been conned into? I barely registered his, “enjoy your evening madam,” as I starred daggers at my Alpha.
“Jacob Black. What a surprise,” I said icily.
“Whoa. Leah,” Jake replied. “I mean, I thought my date wasn't showing up and you look fabulous and I should be pulling out your chair and...”
“I can sit down on my own, thank you very much,” I said, taking my seat to prove my point. “And take something for the verbal diarrhea. It's just mildly unflattering.”
“So, this is a surprise,” said Jake. No shit, smart one. It was a blind date after all. I didn't condescend to dignify that piece of idocracy with an answer and simply glared at him some more.
There was silence. Jake squirmed uncomfortably. Good.
And then one huge plate arrived at the table. What the hell? “Sir,” I said, “this must be a mistake, I don't believe we've ordered yet.”
“Ah Madam,” the waiter said in what must be a fake French accent. “ze pleasant lady who made your reservations ordered for you as well. She zaid zomthing about sparing every body ze trouble.”
“And there's just one?” asked Jacob.
“Zat is correct.”
Damn Alice Cullen and her schemes.
And did I just catch Jake starring at my chest? “Not. Cool,” I muttered vehemently. He pretended not to hear because he was pretending he hadn't done anything wrong. But he heard. Oh, he heard.
“So, Leah,” Jake began conversationally, “how was your day?”
“Dreadful. Especially because someone decided last night was a perfect time for me to do my patrol. Hmm, who was that again? Oh wait. You, dearest Alpha.” I paused, and he looked unfased, and yet groping for some kind of witty retort. Good.
I glanced out the window. The pixie, the mind rapist and the annoying little brother were leaning against a car laughing their heads off. So there really was no escape. Shit.
“Oh mighty Beta, sleeping beauty, birthday princess,” Jake said, snapping my attention back to him. “May I remind you that there is food on the table and you are royally snubbing your company by refusing to take the first bite.”
I glared at him. “Since when have you been bothered by propriety, Black?”
“Not since I've last had dinner in a fancy French restaurant.”
“Which was when?”
“In a land far, far away, and a time long, long ago...”
“Cut the BS,” I said, “It's okay to admit your childhood was lacking certain proper expiriences.” I finished with a smirk. Then, for the first time, I really looked at the plate between us. Two tiny beef medallions wrapped delicately in bacon sat on the huge creamy white plate. “So how many of these have you eaten already?” I asked him.
“None, I swear,” he replied holding his hands up in surrender. Like that would prove anything.
“Sure,” I said.
“You know your impossible sometimes, oh mighty Beta.”
“I delight in it, oh mighty Alpha.”
“Perhaps you'll delight in a few other things too...” he said huskily. And, oh gods, there was lust in his eyes. He was leaning closer... No this wasn't happening. No. “Okay, so you can quit the hormonal teenager impersonation,” I said quickly.
Jake sat back and shook his head. “Wait, what?”
“Never mind.”
The rest of dinner was unremarkable. More witty sparring. More awkward silences. In other words, Alpha-Beta business as usual. So after sharing desert (Alice was gonna get it for the whole shared meals thing), Jake and I bypassed coat check and stepped out of the restaurant and into the night.
Standing by the curb, I involuntarily shivered. I wasn't cold. Of course not; I'm a werewolf; I never get cold. But the dramatic change of temperature, added to the fact that I was wearing just a scrap of fabric made my body shiver ever so slightly. Or perhaps not so ever so slightly. Nevertheless, Jacob took that as the perfect opportunity to wrap his arms around my waist. Great. And apparently the party of condemned souls had broken up and whichever of them was supposed to pick us up was late. Or stalling.
“Leah,” his voice snapped me out of my own thoughts.
I whirled around, still, I noted with some chagrin, in his arms. “What?”
And then he kissed me full on the lips for everyone to see. I immediately realized I couldn't knee him in the bits without flashing half of Port Angeles myself. And I couldn't wiggle an arm out of his crushing embrace to slap him across the face.
I was stuck. Royally stuck. With my Alpha assaulting my person. In public.
And then I realized I kinda sorta liked it.
No this was not happening. This was NOT happening.
Oh but it was. And that's when I think my hormones took over, and I stopped thinking and started kissing him back. Blame it on the four glasses of wine I imbibed with dinner. Yeah, that's it.
A car horn honked.
We broke apart and whirled around to see where the noise was coming from. It was Alice in the Volvo waving enthusiastically.
“Damn.”
We reluctantly walked over to the car and I noted with some satisfaction that Jake's hand was still entwined with mine. Again, totally the wine talking. We climbed into the backseat.
“So, how was the evening?” she greeted us with her singsong voice.
“Stuff it, Pixie, and drive,” barked Jake before pulling me into his lap and assaulting my lips once more.
Okay. So maybe it wasn't just the wine.
Almost back to the Res, with his jacket off, tie hanging limply and shirt undone, and my dress riding up dangerously high, I couldn't help but whisper in his ear, “You know, you're the best birthday present I could have ever gotten.”
“I heard that!” Alice called jubliantly from the front seat.
Jake grinned. And then kissed me again. And again. And again.
Pairing: Jacob/Leah
Rating: T methinks for some swearing.
Summery: Witty sparring. Awkward Silences. Alpha-Beta business as usual. Or is it? A one-shot.
A/N: Post BD, and in a world were THE imprint never happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did the Spawn never would have been conceived.
The sun was already up, of course, and streaming into the bloody open window when I finally woke up. I made to rub my groggy eyes but there was something hard on my face. The hell? In a fit of momentary panic I bolted into a sitting position, swatting at my face. The thing plunked into my lap, taunting me. It was a clipboard. Really? Oh gods, how pathetic that must have looked. If any of the boys had witnessed that they should be their prayers... Annoyed I picked up the bloody object and dutifully read the scrap of paper attached to it.
Hey Sis,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
You're being expected at the Cullen's at one. Just FYI. Have a happy day!
~Seth
Damn. It was my birthday. And I'd practically forgotten because somehow my wonderful Alpha had gotten the idea in his little head that last night would be the perfect time to assign me patrol. Peachy, huh?
No. And now my darling little brother had invited me over to the leeches for a not-so-little birthday bash, if the Pixie one had anything to do with it.
I glanced at the alarm clock next to my bed. It's obnoxious glowing red numbers read 12:30. Wait. 12:30 PM.
Fuck.
Man was I screwed. I jumped out of bed and raced into my bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth and sprinted out of the house. Thanks to the powers that be that my mother wasn't home. She, no doubt, would have delayed me even further because mothers tend to do that sort of thing. And nobody wants to face a family of angry leeches. Well, at least I didn't. Not on my birthday.
And so 100 yards into the woods, I tied my tank top and sweatpants neatly around my leg and phased. I could get there faster that way. Almost immediately I regretted that decision.
So the birthday princess finally decided to grace us with her presence.
Shut it, Black.
In a rainbows and butterflies mood I see.
You know, sometimes your ability to comprehend the English language seems dubious. And with that I decided I was close enough to the Cullen's to phase out of wolf form and make the rest of the journey on foot. Wait, why the hell was I doing this any way and not celebrating my birthday on the couch with a cup of ramen noodles? Oh right, pissed off vampires equals not pretty. Yeah, basically.
As soon as I stepped into the little clearing in front of the Cullen residence I was immediately accosted by the Pixie one. “See Rosalie, the plan worked!”she squealed. Uh oh, that didn't sound good. After the Pixie one untangled herself from me, I smiled sort of at the gathered clan of vampires. “So...”
“Happy Birthday, Leah,” said Carlisle. He was decent, a good doctor. Except that was the cue for each one of the leeches to personally wish me a happy birthday and shake my hand or give me a hug, including Bella-fail and her spawn. Seriously, was this all really necessary?
“I made a cake,” offered Esme gently. Everything about her was gentle. “You can have some now or later, what ever suits your fancy.”
“Yeah,” I said, “later sounds good.” Esme nodded sweetly and everyone dispersed except for the Pixie and the Blond, Alice and Rosalie.
“And now phase three commences!” Alice exclaimed, tugging me by the wrist into the house. It was a gesture I didn't particularly appreciate.
“Hey, I can walk you know,” I said, wrenching free of her grasp.
“Hmm, right, well upstairs you go then.” I followed Alice up the stairs with Rosalie following close behind. She led me into one of the bedrooms, with a bloody big closet and a huge vanity. Things started to fall into place.
Not cool. Really not cool.
“So,” Alice said, hands clasped behind her back, swaying side to side, “Rose and I have decided that your love life needs a little something to spice it up. Consider this the family's birthday present to you. So, with some help from your little brother, we've set you up on a blind date for this evening.”
“At the nicest French restaurant in Port Angeles,” added Rosalie.
“So, we here are going to make sure you look fabulous for your evening out,” finished Alice. I eyed them skeptically. Weren't you supposed to at least appreciate your birthday presents?
“Are you sure you want to go through the trouble? I mean, I'm not a complete slug. I can dress myself perfectly well, thank you very much.”
“Psh, it'll be fun!” exclaimed Alice, as she grabbed me by the waist and sat me down on her bed. Why she had a bed, not needing sleep and all I didn't really get. Oh wait. A bed could be nice for some certain nighttime activities...
Well, anyways. So let me just say that over the next hour and a half I was pushed in and out of innumerable dresses, until Rose and Alice decided that the royal purple one, which was less like a dress and more like a scrap of fabric that barely covered all the important places, looked the best. Then I was subjected to make-up and hair and this and that and my head was pulled and twisted and contorted so much that I was surprised I still looked human at the end of it.
And then I was ushured down the stairs (this was phase four, apparently), and fawned over by all the vamps and my leech-loving little brother who was snapping pictures (which I would be sure to delete later). And then Alice whisked me out to their garage, and plopped me in the back seat of some car and off we went, with Edward driving and Alice chatting incessantly This was not how I had intended to spend my birthday. Really, it wasn't.
Faster than we should have (go figure those vamps), we arrived in Port Angeles and the mind rapist pulled in in front of an admittedly cute little restaurant. With white table clothes, the works.
“He's here,” said Edward cryptically, and Alice practically exploded through the sun roof in excitement. She tugged me out of the car (what was it with her and tugging people?) which was a bit tricky without revealing anything, if you catch my drift. And then she rushed me into the place, where the lanky maitre d' greeted us. I quickly scanned the room, and picked out none other that Jacob Black, the most annoying Alpha on the face of this planet, sitting at a table for two and starring out the window. No. It couldn't be. “Alice,” I growled warningly.
“Reservations for Whitlock.” said Alice brightly, “I believe a member of the party is already here.” The maitre d' scanned his registrar before saying, “yes, but the reservation's for two...”
“Yes, that's correct,” said Alice briskly. “Have a nice night.” And then she was gone. Faster than she should have been.
I was fuming. What the hell had I been conned into? I barely registered his, “enjoy your evening madam,” as I starred daggers at my Alpha.
“Jacob Black. What a surprise,” I said icily.
“Whoa. Leah,” Jake replied. “I mean, I thought my date wasn't showing up and you look fabulous and I should be pulling out your chair and...”
“I can sit down on my own, thank you very much,” I said, taking my seat to prove my point. “And take something for the verbal diarrhea. It's just mildly unflattering.”
“So, this is a surprise,” said Jake. No shit, smart one. It was a blind date after all. I didn't condescend to dignify that piece of idocracy with an answer and simply glared at him some more.
There was silence. Jake squirmed uncomfortably. Good.
And then one huge plate arrived at the table. What the hell? “Sir,” I said, “this must be a mistake, I don't believe we've ordered yet.”
“Ah Madam,” the waiter said in what must be a fake French accent. “ze pleasant lady who made your reservations ordered for you as well. She zaid zomthing about sparing every body ze trouble.”
“And there's just one?” asked Jacob.
“Zat is correct.”
Damn Alice Cullen and her schemes.
And did I just catch Jake starring at my chest? “Not. Cool,” I muttered vehemently. He pretended not to hear because he was pretending he hadn't done anything wrong. But he heard. Oh, he heard.
“So, Leah,” Jake began conversationally, “how was your day?”
“Dreadful. Especially because someone decided last night was a perfect time for me to do my patrol. Hmm, who was that again? Oh wait. You, dearest Alpha.” I paused, and he looked unfased, and yet groping for some kind of witty retort. Good.
I glanced out the window. The pixie, the mind rapist and the annoying little brother were leaning against a car laughing their heads off. So there really was no escape. Shit.
“Oh mighty Beta, sleeping beauty, birthday princess,” Jake said, snapping my attention back to him. “May I remind you that there is food on the table and you are royally snubbing your company by refusing to take the first bite.”
I glared at him. “Since when have you been bothered by propriety, Black?”
“Not since I've last had dinner in a fancy French restaurant.”
“Which was when?”
“In a land far, far away, and a time long, long ago...”
“Cut the BS,” I said, “It's okay to admit your childhood was lacking certain proper expiriences.” I finished with a smirk. Then, for the first time, I really looked at the plate between us. Two tiny beef medallions wrapped delicately in bacon sat on the huge creamy white plate. “So how many of these have you eaten already?” I asked him.
“None, I swear,” he replied holding his hands up in surrender. Like that would prove anything.
“Sure,” I said.
“You know your impossible sometimes, oh mighty Beta.”
“I delight in it, oh mighty Alpha.”
“Perhaps you'll delight in a few other things too...” he said huskily. And, oh gods, there was lust in his eyes. He was leaning closer... No this wasn't happening. No. “Okay, so you can quit the hormonal teenager impersonation,” I said quickly.
Jake sat back and shook his head. “Wait, what?”
“Never mind.”
The rest of dinner was unremarkable. More witty sparring. More awkward silences. In other words, Alpha-Beta business as usual. So after sharing desert (Alice was gonna get it for the whole shared meals thing), Jake and I bypassed coat check and stepped out of the restaurant and into the night.
Standing by the curb, I involuntarily shivered. I wasn't cold. Of course not; I'm a werewolf; I never get cold. But the dramatic change of temperature, added to the fact that I was wearing just a scrap of fabric made my body shiver ever so slightly. Or perhaps not so ever so slightly. Nevertheless, Jacob took that as the perfect opportunity to wrap his arms around my waist. Great. And apparently the party of condemned souls had broken up and whichever of them was supposed to pick us up was late. Or stalling.
“Leah,” his voice snapped me out of my own thoughts.
I whirled around, still, I noted with some chagrin, in his arms. “What?”
And then he kissed me full on the lips for everyone to see. I immediately realized I couldn't knee him in the bits without flashing half of Port Angeles myself. And I couldn't wiggle an arm out of his crushing embrace to slap him across the face.
I was stuck. Royally stuck. With my Alpha assaulting my person. In public.
And then I realized I kinda sorta liked it.
No this was not happening. This was NOT happening.
Oh but it was. And that's when I think my hormones took over, and I stopped thinking and started kissing him back. Blame it on the four glasses of wine I imbibed with dinner. Yeah, that's it.
A car horn honked.
We broke apart and whirled around to see where the noise was coming from. It was Alice in the Volvo waving enthusiastically.
“Damn.”
We reluctantly walked over to the car and I noted with some satisfaction that Jake's hand was still entwined with mine. Again, totally the wine talking. We climbed into the backseat.
“So, how was the evening?” she greeted us with her singsong voice.
“Stuff it, Pixie, and drive,” barked Jake before pulling me into his lap and assaulting my lips once more.
Okay. So maybe it wasn't just the wine.
Almost back to the Res, with his jacket off, tie hanging limply and shirt undone, and my dress riding up dangerously high, I couldn't help but whisper in his ear, “You know, you're the best birthday present I could have ever gotten.”
“I heard that!” Alice called jubliantly from the front seat.
Jake grinned. And then kissed me again. And again. And again.