Puppy Love
TITLE: Puppy Love
PAIRING: Mark/Eduardo
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: In which Eduardo learns it’s easier to train a puppy than to train your boyfriend
DISCLAIMER: This is SO not true. I lay no claim to neither the real Zuckerberg and Saverin nor the Eisenberg/Garfield incarnations.
WORD COUNT: 879
NOTES: Written for the fic-a-thon prompt posted by tafidadarling: "Mark and Eduardo live together. (You can work out if it's pre or post movie.) No angst! I want happy boys. Could be that they're roommates or partners. I'd like partners because kissing would be nice." Set post-movie and partially inspired by my four-month-old puppy Atticus Spartacus.
“Mark!” Eduardo is angrier than Mark has ever heard him, save for one never-talked-about exception; still Mark keeps typing and barely flinches when he hears another shout of fury from down the hall. “Mark! Goddamnit, Mark!”
“Wardo?”
“Your dog pissed on my suit jacket!”
“It’s our dog!” he hollers, relieved Eduardo can’t see the grin on his face.
“Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, if you don’t get your ass in here now-”
“Okay, okay.” Mark clicks to save the line of code and shuffles into the bedroom. “So what happened?”
Eduardo’s looking at a dark brown shepherd mix puppy with an expression of anger and exasperation that’s usually reserved for Mark. “That creature used my jacket as a litter box. It’s a new jacket, Mark. And it’s Armani.”
“Dogs don’t use litter boxes,” Mark reminds him, jabbing his Twizzler in the air for emphasis.
“Jesus, Mark! Why did you get this dog if you’re not going to housebreak it?”
“Look, this is a new situation and you’re still jetlagged.”
Eduardo heaves an all-too-familiar weary sigh and sits on the bed. “Let’s review this situation: I flew home from Miami yesterday to find that in my absence of five days you’d taken it upon yourself to get a puppy without even discussing it with me, then last night I couldn’t have sex with you because you claimed it would traumatize the dog, and now it’s ruining my very new, very expensive clothes.”
“You can afford the dry cleaning, Wardo.”
“That’s not the point!” The puppy is getting freaked out and slinks into the corner.
“See, look what you’re doing to him,” Mark scolds Eduardo.
“The only explanation you gave me last night was that you wanted a dog. That was it. I didn’t get any warning…shit, this is a big commitment! It’s not like buying a new PC.”
“I don’t use PCs anymore.”
After all this time, Eduardo remains amazed that anyone can irritate him this much - and that he willingly spends his life putting up with this irritation. “Why did you get the dog? And don’t say because your mom never let you get one when you were a kid.”
“Because you were gone, Wardo! You were in Miami and I never feel comfortable going with you because your father is an asshole, so I was here and I was lonely, and I know you’ll be going to New York next month which means I’ll be lonely again, and this really nice app developer named Vanessa is a volunteer at a no-kill shelter and I overheard her talking about this puppy, so I had her show me a picture and it was so cute. It has these big, stupid, sweet, soulful eyes like you. It was cute and I was lonely and I thought you’d appreciate having a new member in our dysfunctional little gay billionaire family. I guess I was wrong.”
It takes a minute for Wardo to process all of that. “I have big, stupid, sweet, soulful eyes?”
“I’ve always thought so.”
“You realize how bizarre it sounds that you decided to get a dog because its eyes reminded you of your boyfriend.”
“Dustin pointed this out to me.”
Eduardo shakes his head. He goes over to the corner and crouches down next to the dog. “You didn’t even name the poor creature.”
“I was leaving that up to you,” Mark shrugs.
The puppy looks at Eduardo with a mixture of guilt and love. “It’s okay, puppy,” Wardo sighs. “I’m not angry at you, it’s not like this idiot knew how to teach you not to pee on my stuff.”
To Mark’s credit he looks apologetic. “Maybe it was impulsive, but I only did it because I thought it would make you happy.”
“A little warning might have been nice.” Eduardo ruffles the fur behind the dog’s ears. “Getting a last-minute text that you couldn’t pick me up at the airport because you had to walk our dog when I didn’t know we had a dog was quite a shock last night.”
“I concede that it wasn’t planned in the best possible manner.”
Eduardo laughs. “Nothing in your life is planned in the best possible manner, or planned at all. Luckily this dog won’t be held responsible for your mistakes. Now come over here.” He slings an arm around Mark when he joins him on the floor. “What do you think about naming him Kirkland?”
“Kirkland?”
“Well, it’d be nice to pick something with sentimental value. And Kirkland is where we had our first kiss.”
“You don’t think it’s a little weird to conflate a dog’s name with a sexual experience?”
“It was a kiss, Mark. There wasn’t even any tongue, and we didn’t actually have sex together until 2007.”
“Still…Kirkland?”
Wardo smiles when he sees the dog tilting its head inquisitively at the sound of the name. “See? He likes it. I think he just named himself.”
“Kirkland Saverin-Zuckerberg is the worst name imaginable. It sounds like a law firm or an international treaty.”
“I don’t think he’ll mind.”
“So am I forgiven?”
“Maybe.”
Mark leans in and kisses him - the first proper kiss Eduardo has had since touching down in Palo Alto last night. “How about now?”
“Yes,” Eduardo grins, “now you’re forgiven."
PAIRING: Mark/Eduardo
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: In which Eduardo learns it’s easier to train a puppy than to train your boyfriend
DISCLAIMER: This is SO not true. I lay no claim to neither the real Zuckerberg and Saverin nor the Eisenberg/Garfield incarnations.
WORD COUNT: 879
NOTES: Written for the fic-a-thon prompt posted by tafidadarling: "Mark and Eduardo live together. (You can work out if it's pre or post movie.) No angst! I want happy boys. Could be that they're roommates or partners. I'd like partners because kissing would be nice." Set post-movie and partially inspired by my four-month-old puppy Atticus Spartacus.
“Mark!” Eduardo is angrier than Mark has ever heard him, save for one never-talked-about exception; still Mark keeps typing and barely flinches when he hears another shout of fury from down the hall. “Mark! Goddamnit, Mark!”
“Wardo?”
“Your dog pissed on my suit jacket!”
“It’s our dog!” he hollers, relieved Eduardo can’t see the grin on his face.
“Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, if you don’t get your ass in here now-”
“Okay, okay.” Mark clicks to save the line of code and shuffles into the bedroom. “So what happened?”
Eduardo’s looking at a dark brown shepherd mix puppy with an expression of anger and exasperation that’s usually reserved for Mark. “That creature used my jacket as a litter box. It’s a new jacket, Mark. And it’s Armani.”
“Dogs don’t use litter boxes,” Mark reminds him, jabbing his Twizzler in the air for emphasis.
“Jesus, Mark! Why did you get this dog if you’re not going to housebreak it?”
“Look, this is a new situation and you’re still jetlagged.”
Eduardo heaves an all-too-familiar weary sigh and sits on the bed. “Let’s review this situation: I flew home from Miami yesterday to find that in my absence of five days you’d taken it upon yourself to get a puppy without even discussing it with me, then last night I couldn’t have sex with you because you claimed it would traumatize the dog, and now it’s ruining my very new, very expensive clothes.”
“You can afford the dry cleaning, Wardo.”
“That’s not the point!” The puppy is getting freaked out and slinks into the corner.
“See, look what you’re doing to him,” Mark scolds Eduardo.
“The only explanation you gave me last night was that you wanted a dog. That was it. I didn’t get any warning…shit, this is a big commitment! It’s not like buying a new PC.”
“I don’t use PCs anymore.”
After all this time, Eduardo remains amazed that anyone can irritate him this much - and that he willingly spends his life putting up with this irritation. “Why did you get the dog? And don’t say because your mom never let you get one when you were a kid.”
“Because you were gone, Wardo! You were in Miami and I never feel comfortable going with you because your father is an asshole, so I was here and I was lonely, and I know you’ll be going to New York next month which means I’ll be lonely again, and this really nice app developer named Vanessa is a volunteer at a no-kill shelter and I overheard her talking about this puppy, so I had her show me a picture and it was so cute. It has these big, stupid, sweet, soulful eyes like you. It was cute and I was lonely and I thought you’d appreciate having a new member in our dysfunctional little gay billionaire family. I guess I was wrong.”
It takes a minute for Wardo to process all of that. “I have big, stupid, sweet, soulful eyes?”
“I’ve always thought so.”
“You realize how bizarre it sounds that you decided to get a dog because its eyes reminded you of your boyfriend.”
“Dustin pointed this out to me.”
Eduardo shakes his head. He goes over to the corner and crouches down next to the dog. “You didn’t even name the poor creature.”
“I was leaving that up to you,” Mark shrugs.
The puppy looks at Eduardo with a mixture of guilt and love. “It’s okay, puppy,” Wardo sighs. “I’m not angry at you, it’s not like this idiot knew how to teach you not to pee on my stuff.”
To Mark’s credit he looks apologetic. “Maybe it was impulsive, but I only did it because I thought it would make you happy.”
“A little warning might have been nice.” Eduardo ruffles the fur behind the dog’s ears. “Getting a last-minute text that you couldn’t pick me up at the airport because you had to walk our dog when I didn’t know we had a dog was quite a shock last night.”
“I concede that it wasn’t planned in the best possible manner.”
Eduardo laughs. “Nothing in your life is planned in the best possible manner, or planned at all. Luckily this dog won’t be held responsible for your mistakes. Now come over here.” He slings an arm around Mark when he joins him on the floor. “What do you think about naming him Kirkland?”
“Kirkland?”
“Well, it’d be nice to pick something with sentimental value. And Kirkland is where we had our first kiss.”
“You don’t think it’s a little weird to conflate a dog’s name with a sexual experience?”
“It was a kiss, Mark. There wasn’t even any tongue, and we didn’t actually have sex together until 2007.”
“Still…Kirkland?”
Wardo smiles when he sees the dog tilting its head inquisitively at the sound of the name. “See? He likes it. I think he just named himself.”
“Kirkland Saverin-Zuckerberg is the worst name imaginable. It sounds like a law firm or an international treaty.”
“I don’t think he’ll mind.”
“So am I forgiven?”
“Maybe.”
Mark leans in and kisses him - the first proper kiss Eduardo has had since touching down in Palo Alto last night. “How about now?”
“Yes,” Eduardo grins, “now you’re forgiven."