Comments | marked_helpless: umm so today....

ellie_lawl_7 in marked_helpless

umm so today....

Apr 07, 2009 20:04

today was a waste.
i did nothing,
i ate nothing,
i sat there, crying while playing Okami<3
and i'm really starting to think that there is more wrong with me than just a small form of depression and a cutting addiction.
cos the other day,
i was in the kitchen and my mom had just gotten home and was apologizing for yelling at us,
and my head was spinning ( Read more... )

Comments 5

jeffys_gurl27 April 9 2009, 14:34:28 UTC

I'm sorry you had to go back to cutting, you sound like you're having a really hard time.

I don't mean to insult, but it sounds like more than a 'little depression'. Just curious if you've ever had therapy. If you've ever mentioned that I apologize for not remembering. Ever taken anything for your depression or been diagnosed?

ellie_lawl_7 April 10 2009, 21:03:39 UTC

no. never had anything. never been diagnosed, never seen a therapist, never taken any meds.
ive been wondering if it was more, but i'm nervous to tell my mom to take me to the doctor.

jeffys_gurl27 April 10 2009, 22:29:20 UTC

Would she still take you to the doctor if you refuse to tell her what's wrong with you? And I'm curious why you're nervous/scared to tell her. Because my initial reaction would be to tell you to tell her immediately. She would be sad for you and afraid for you but happy that you came to her for help. But I don't want to assume anything about the relationship between you and your mother.

ellie_lawl_7 April 11 2009, 00:43:35 UTC

last time, when i was in 8th grade...
she found out that i had hurt myself...
and we were in a restaurant and she started yelling and screaming at me and telling me that i was a screw up and that i needed help.
she took away everything...
my journal, priveledges, even getting dressed ALONE...
she over reacts and i dont want her over reacting again.
and also cos she gossips a LOT with my family...
=[ but i really wanna tell her...
i wanna find out what is wrong.

alamikkinana April 14 2009, 03:01:20 UTC

Do you know anyone who would be able to drive you to appointments and not rat you out?
I don't THINK they could tell your mom, but I'm not positive. Candace?
My parents over reacted pretty hardcore the first time they found out too. But everytime after that it was just kinda "Oh, we're back to this?"
Its been a few years, maybe your mom has changed a bit? I dunno. It could be worth a try. Or even just tell her you've been feeling really down and you wanna talk to someone. Maybe she won't pry.