update, im sad :'[

[markkimse]

Today was great. :D

Comments

[alexliberatore]

She wasn't your parents dude...and frankly, we both know she's reading it right now and not responding out of decency. I get contemplative at night as well, it's our mind's way of telling us we should be dreaming, our deepest emotions and insecurities are coming out as though we are sleeping...my problem lately, as we both know, is that I don't sleep at night, so every night after everyone else is asleep I fight with my inadequacies like they're across the room looking at me. Some nights it's my parents' shame keeping me up, some nights it's love keeping me up. After you've been as good as me at killing your emotions with chemicals it's rough when they start coming back again. As for your real parents...they were doing what's best for you, we might never know what their thought process was but I think it's a fair assumption that they did it for you, Korea still isn't a pretty place...as for the other one, we won't get into that here. Just confide in the fact that at least your crew won't run off on you, sometimes that's the only

[markkimse]

Thanks for your words man, seriously.
I know that my birth parents were doing what was right, or so I hope, but it still screwed something up in my brain where I just feel insecure all the time, don't feel worthy of shit, and think that people are gonna leave no matter what I do. I've found out that when it actually does happen, I have a REAL hard time adjusting. It's just something I've had to live with. Now, I can't just go smoke a blunt and say fuckdatshitson. It's fuckin hard man, as you well know.
As for the crew, that's all I'm focused on, and I can definately take some solace there.... :D