The Real LJ Idol * Season 11 * Week 12: Failure

[marlawentmad]

A heartbeat

Comments

[static_abyss]

Your second stanza has some really cool flow to it and paint a very specific and clear picture in my head. It is my favorite stanza.

[roina_arwen]

I love the second stanza, especially the line about the stiff drink on the ledge, and the last stanza is great too. The rest is a little disjointed in my opinion.

[lost_nepenthe]

Just...🔥🔥🔥🔥

[alexanderscttb]

I really like the position of "cold shoulders" at the end, I think it works very effectively in creating an ambiguous enough concept that we could all arrive at fairly solid interpretations.

[bleodswean]

Wowza! A wallop of a poem! I do love this ability you have to write so closely and yet the horizon stretches so fucken far.