The Wind of Change - Easter pilgrimage to Moscow (1/4)
The Wind of Change - Easter pilgrimage to Moscow
April 20th / 10:30 pm
(Taken from the plane. Still snow in Russia.)
I don’t know how I got here. I’m sitting on a sofa bed which I share with Kate, a girl from England. Outside the lights and the noises of Moscow illuminate and poison the night. I really don’t know how I got here. What I know is that I am overwhelmed by the hospitality and kindness I received so far. I don’t know who is more nervous about this pilgrimage, the pilgrims or the hosts. But the spirit of communion here is breathtaking.
(a friendly welcome in the basement of the church)
We just had dinner and tea with our host parents, Jelena and Juri. Both the kindest people with a tiny flat, a low income and a cat. Yes, they may not have much but the flat is that cosy and inviting that I felt at home immediately. Forgotten the long flight that caused so much nausea. Forgotten the long waiting times and endless walks through a city groaning with a normal rush hour. Forgotten the stench, the millions of cars, the noise, the scary people in the metro. Forgotten even the fears and worries. We will have such a great time. I’m already really grateful that I decided to come here. I’m smiling. Not only did I run into people who I haven’t seen in over 5 years. Not only have I seen a picture of our dear Frère Roger in my parish’s church. Not only did I meet Frère Luc again, the one brother I care about so much and who is in Africa since 2005. I have also already realized that nothing can possibly go wrong. Sure, we might get lost somewhere; we might make a few mistakes. But with a priest, Father Vladimir, who visits Taizé regularly nothing can go wrong. And there is more: If you just open up, smile and be grateful everything will work just fine. Show your heart because we really are one human family. I really feel it here.
(this is were Kate and I spent our nights. Simple but cosy.)
This is what one of the brothers wrote about the first day:
“It is hard to describe the beauty of this day: one of those special moments when something that so many people have been hoping for and praying for for so long is suddenly fulfilled. 240 pilgrims from 26 different countries welcomed by six different Orthodox parishes in Moscow. Who could have imagined such a thing just a few decades back?
The Church of the Dormition (Marlene: MY church!!), a stone’s throw away from Red Square, wedged between MacDonald’s and the Ministry of the Interior, opened its doors. The presence of the icons in the church, people coming in off the street to light candles before them and praying a moment - all that created a unique atmosphere in which to welcome these young people who have come with the desire to understand something more about the Russian Orthodox Church. An immediate sensation of the peace of heaven on earth, in contrast to the bustle of this vibrant city. No family was left without guests. A real miracle! So much to be thankful for. There is nothing more to add. The pilgrimage has begun.”
April 21st / 6 am
Is there a better way to start the day than waking up to one of those beautiful sunrises? The big window in the living room where we sleep faces straight east and we are on the eighth floor… Not very far away we can see a golden cross on top of the many churches catching the first sunrays of a beautiful (but really cold) morning. The first service will start soon. Yes, of course I’m nervous but I also think that not much can go wrong.
(view from our window at 6am in the morning)
12:30 pm
What just happened? I’m sitting here in the corner of “my” church and try to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I just need a little breather…
This morning Kate and I managed to get to our church quite easily although we first have to walk, then get on a bus, then get on a metro, change the metro line and then walk some more. It takes us about 50 minutes to reach the church. We are really thankful for that, because it means that we live quite close to the center. Yes, Moscow is just HUGE! And it is a souleater. It’s one of the scariest places I have ever visited. It starts with the silence in the metros and metro stations. People don’t talk, although there are thousands upon thousands. They don’t speak but just push their way through the crowd. The only noise that covers everything comes from machines. Without speech or eye contact those people seem like empty vessels. As I said: this city is a souleater. Then, the metro stations are that far away from each other that you drive about 2 to 3 minutes from one to the next (in Munich it takes only about 30 seconds). Stuck in a train with dozens of people who don’t speak or look at you in a narrow tube… Scary. Moscow is cold, busy, noisy, aggressive and smelly.
And then you enter the church. In here it’s warm, friendly, cosy and almost silent. But it’s not the convenient warmth that just keeps the cold away. No, it’s a heat that you usually find at fireplaces. Within minutes our faces were red and dizziness cloaked our minds. And it’s not the deep, breathless silence of a catholic church. People walk around during the service, light candles in front of the many icons, whisper, clothes rustle. This church is alive!
What can I say about the service? Today in the morning of Holy Thursday they celebrate the first “Last Supper”. It was joyful. It was long. Three hours is a long time and there will be another one today. I managed to stand for about an hour but then I just had to sit down. Luckily I stay in a very liberal parish. I basically checked when the old ladies of the parish got up and simply adjusted. Many moments were special. It started with the intercessions and the words we knew so well from Taizé. There was also a “Halleluja” which we all knew. You could see the faces of the “Taizé people” lighten up with joy. It was in the moment when they recognized something familiar that they really felt welcome and really felt that they are not simple bystanders but active participants of the service. The long, long monotonous singing of the priest mad us sleepy. Together with the heat I almost fell in a trance. It was a very welcome feeling of flowing with the liturgy. And the songs! There were basically two kinds of songs: some were very slowly and solemn. Typically Russian one would say. So full of emotions that you could almost soar on the words. Then there were the more joyful songs. Strong, rather quick and just so… happy, they brought tears to my eyes. Of course we were not allowed to go to the communion but they have blessed bread here. Taizé adopted this many years ago and so, we were already familiar with it. People share it with each other and kiss each other three times. It’s a sweet gesture of togetherness.
Now, as I sit here I still don’t really get it. I mean, I’m sitting in the middle of Moscow in a beautiful little church and feel at home. Although nothing should be familiar (the iconostasis, the icons, the continuous bowing and making the sign of the cross, the language,…), strangely it feels familiar and just very warm and cosy… This church is basically a construction site but it just doesn’t matter.
We had porridge for breakfast and lunch… Jokes about it arise. The day will still be very long so… let’s go for it!
(porridge of lunch in the basement of "my" church)
7:00 pm
We knew it would be tough. But honestly, if I don’t take really good care of myself I will not stand it through. In Moscow you cannot drink the water from the conduit. Thus, we all don’t really drink much because we are basically running from one meeting to the next, from one prayer to the next. Right now, I’m already cross-eyed due to tiredness and exhaustion. The second prayer of the day started about two hours ago. Everything hurts. But I just love it here. I love the liturgy. I really do although I only understand about 0,1%. But even the Russians don’t understand everything as it is in Church Slavonic. Among the many, many great things that happened today two were especially remarkable for me: 1. Mr Chaplin, the man responsible for the Russian patriarchy’s social and cultural affairs said today that during the time of the persecution of the Orthodox Church it were especially the women who kept the faith alive. Without them the Church would not exit as it exists today. 2. Father Vladimir said this morning when he was about to distribute the communion: “Due to historical circumstances we are not able to celebrate the Eucharist together. This is wrong. It should be our vocation to change that.” Where are all the differences, hm? Where are all the problems and obstacles that separate us? Where? This priest just stands in front of the iconostasis in the middle of one of the greatest cities of Orthodoxy and says: “It’s wrong!” This is the heart, the spirit, the true meaning of ecumenism. A Christian who says to another: “We are brothers, no matter what.” I feel really honoured to be a part of this meeting. So no complaining! I will stand up again and stand it through!!
11:10 pm
Seriously, I thought I would not survive the evening service. For sure it was beautiful. The twelve gospels that describe the passion of Christ were read and in between hymns were sung that provided a time for reflection. Candles were lit as the sun slowly set (and no electric lights illuminated the church). I just love the singing. I love how your whole body is involved in the service. The bowing is actually quite good for ones back. Today, I loved how the priests stood right in the middle of us when they read the gospels. I loved how the people bow when they get censed. Every move (and not only the words) has holiness about it. That much that you yourself feel holy somehow when you move in the church during service. And in a way that is very true because as we share this togetherness Christ becomes a part of us and thus “hollows” us.
So yes, everything is just wonderful here. I even begin to adjust to the metro. It really scared me in the beginning but now I feel a little better about it. Today, I learnt that it transports about 9 million people a DAY! Our line goes every MINUTE! I still think that this city destroys souls but I think I figured out how to protect mine. The poverty and misery of the homeless is hard to bear. I’ve never seen that desolate people in Germany or in any other place I have been. As far as I understand it, migration and alcohol are the biggest problems of this city. The hostility against migrants (who also just look for jobs and a better life) is really strong. Even my host mother, who is a very kind person, frowns at them. And one can buy alcohol 24/7 and I’m not talking bout beer here…
It amazes me again and again that wherever I go I just feel… human. I always think that it should feel somehow different to be in other countries, or to see great historical sights, or meet people from other churches. But it’s not. It might be a little awkward in the beginning but as soon as the first smiles are exchanged you are a part of the miracle called “human family”. I wish people outside of faith would recognize and appreciate this simple trust more.
Well, how do I feel now at 11:30 pm? I still can’t look straight; my feet do not only hurt but throb. But the worst are my knees. They are just not existing. During the service it felt as if I would never be able to bend them anymore. My mind is crammed full of thoughts and images. I’m in the city which for Michael Jackson became a metaphor for loneliness and inner cold: Stranger in Moscow. He is very right with that. But I am not a stranger here. I’m family!
Some words from the brother:
“In the afternoon, everyone travelled by Metro to the church of Fr Vsevolod Chaplin, President of the Department for Church-Society relations of the Moscow Patriarchate. He spoke first of all of the immense suffering of Russian Christians in the Communist era. Very openly, he told about the challenges facing the church today. "Every Christian must be brave enough to bear witness to their faith wherever they are. The Church is not just for the rich or for the poor - it is for everyone." And he was ready to answer everyone’s questions.
Speaking with the pilgrims, everyone is happy. Such a welcome has been given by the families and in the parishes. Despite journey fatigue and the two hours time difference, there were only smiles today. The Russian heart is large indeed.
(…) People walking through the streets after the service carrying candles - it all seems so normal here, even if there are others doing completely different things. It’s the first time that I’ve felt the Resurrection already during Holy Week. You can’t avoid it here. The church is being reborn, and people as well.”